Of course, any characters and places you recognize are not
mine. They were conceived by the brilliant Gene Roddenberry, and copyright by Paramount.
Here we go again! This is the second story in a series. You don't have to read the first story, but it sure helps! Believe me! There are spoilers for the first story in here, BTW, so be forewarned. Well, enjoy the story. Oh, and if you have any comments, critiques, flames, etc., you can mail them to me when I finally get an address. :) Have fun!!!
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Kira, without whom the Eysu Moraht would never have existed, not to mention to my prereaders, without whom this story would not have existed. Thanks for the death threats on the previous one. You've given me a goal to reach.
Also, this story is written in loving memory of Eloise and Jimmy Hill, and of Anne King.
The Things Which I Have Seen
by Yuuki Miyaka
Chapter 3
Arys watched the others in her small group. It had been eight months since they had liberated her from the SSTF, and she still was more than a little withdrawn. The others, with the exception of Ari, kept a wide berth of her. Ever since she had chased Taran out of her room, they had wondered about her. She knew this, knew that they were concerned. And she knew that none of them could do anything. She had to work through this herself, and she might never be complete again.
She looked down at the model in her hands. It was part of the new ship they were building. It had been created by her, with help from Nog. But she didn't know whether she could finish it or not. All she had so far was a way to connect to normal weaponry. She wanted more on this thing. If they were going to go back to the Alpha Quadrant, then she had to find a way to equip her ship with the latest and best technology, especially weapons-wise. After all, there were all sorts of threats in the Alpha Quadrant, including the Dominion, the Maquis, the Klingons, and even the Federation, if it came down to that.
Looking back up, she saw Ari approaching her, and she sighed. He never did know when to leave well enough alone. She waited for him to stand in front of her, then laughed softly. "Ari, I won't always put up with your company, you know that." It wasn't a question.
He nodded. "I know. I was wondering how you were coming along with the Bridge's tactical station? Have you found a way to create more connections?"
She shook her head. "No. And that's going to kill us, you know. We learned about it in the SSTF. If you don't have the best, latest weapons, you become a sitting duck." She looked back at her hands, remembering.
"I think you didn't take that rule too seriously for a while, did you? I wish I could have done more, Arys. We all do. Even Katassa."
Arys' head snapped back up. "Yeah, sure. Ari, we haven't even seen her in six months. Not since we got to Aurahj in the first place. And even then, all she did was say hello. She brings us through seventy years' worth of travel with that fancy SubGate of hers, and then ignores us! Don't give me that crap about her caring. She doesn't, Ari, and you should get used to it. After all, no one truly cares about anyone else!"
Ari grabbed Arys' hand, holding her steady as he looked into her eyes. "Dammit, Arys, listen to me for one moment! She does care, about all of us. And what's more, she has less time than any of us, what with ruling Aurahj. How would you like to be the sole ruler of Bajor?" He paused, and Arys fought briefly for her hands. But his grip was steel, and she couldn't get free. Eventually, she gave up, staring at him in anger. "I didn't think so. Now, I suggest you go over to Jake and ask him if he's thought of anything more to help you. And stay over there, dammit. I won't say this again!"
Scowling, she obeyed his command. There was something in his tone that brooked no arguments. It was authority.
"You have a nice office, Odo. I'm very impressed at how orderly it is." Keurithe walked around the room in question, touching surfaces idly and smiling to herself. And Odo did nothing more than watch her for now. Although he had felt her love for him in the Link, he was still afraid. He had been too wary of his people for too long to believe that one would waltz out of nowhere and not want to take him back.
"Thank you. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" His words were curt, uncaring. That was the farthest possible emotion from what he was truly feeling, but unless she Linked with him, she would not know this. And he would never invite a Link. It reminded him too much of what he had given up to be here.
"Right to the point, I suppose." Keurithe sighed. "You really should learn the art of small talk, Odo. Life is much more fun that way." Her vague amusement helped him calm down, but he still worried.
"Indeed. Will you answer the question?"
Keurithe sighed once more. "I wanted to talk to you about my universe. I know you visited there once. I understand that from Linking with you." She trailed off for a few moments, her eyes misty. "I never thought I would get the opportunity to Link with you, Odo. It was a great privilege and pleasure."
Her words surprised him. He supposed that they should not, but at the same time, he had no idea of just what to say in return. It was too much.
"Anyway, what I wanted to tell you about mostly is how the Founders have changed. Ever since I got to the Great Link and joined them, I have been working to stop their assault on the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. Finally, I succeeded. But my success was short-lived. You see, I overstepped my bounds in ending the war. So they exiled me for a time. They sent me to make the concessions, and to play ambassador to the Solids. I went willingly. I know many of them quite well now, and value their friendship as much as I value my friendships within the Link. But, Odo, I know what you went through, and how you hated our people to the very end. And I wanted to apologize on behalf of all those within the Link. We had no right to treat you the way we did." She trailed off.
It was too much, overwhelming. Odo had known that there was a treaty of some sort being negotiated over with the Founders, but in his prejudice had thought nothing of it. Now, he wondered just what that treaty said.
"You have no reason to apologize, Keurithe," he said gruffly. "You weren't part of my set of Founders, either time. But thank you. It means a great deal."
Keurithe looked at Odo for a long time. "You love her, don't you?" The words were confusing.
"What?"
"Sorry. I tend to switch subjects very rapidly. It comes in handy in negotiations. I was talking about Kira. The one from our universe. You love her, don't you?"
Odo thought for a long time. He had felt no deception from this one, had felt only love, understanding, and acceptance, which is more than he would get from any of the others of his people. But he was still afraid. And unsure of himself. "Y-yes, I suppose I do. But only as a friend."
Keurithe nodded sagely. "Of course. And you love the Kira of this universe."
His answer was short and simple. "Yes, I do. Very much."
"May I see? I've never loved a Solid in that manner. Never loved anyone in that manner, really. It would be interesting to see."
Odo hesistated. She frightened him with her questions. But this was his sister, and the only Changling ever to show him unconditional support. "Yes." The word was curt, but he held out his hand. She took it, melding into him, and once again there was the sensation of soul-on-soul, as though he was touching the most sacred part of her. He gasped, but continued the contact for as long as she did. When she flowed away from him, her face was a study of emotion.
"That was the single most amazing experience I think I've ever had. It's amazing, Odo. Think about how wonderful that feeling would be for the others to feel."
Odo just grunted. He didn't want the others to feel his love for Kira. That was a sacred thing, about the only thing sacred about him. He couldn't bear for it to be mocked more than it was.
Keurithe looked at him sadly for a long time, not knowing what else to do. Eventually, she left his office, looking for her own quarters, where she could think about everything they had discussed in peace. Especially that love. That was something she would definitely like to feel again, she decided.
Arys stood at her security station, a proud smile lighting her eyes, if not her lips. It was an amazing feeling, being on her first ship and knowing that *she* was head of security, not only of the ship itself, but of the entire Alliance, even though the Alliance only had one ship to its name, as yet.
"The Kumsahmi," she said softly, tasting the name for the thousandth time. In the past few months, she had been able to work through most of her pain and fears left over from her time in the SSTF, and more, she had redefined her relationships with the others. She and Ari were as close as siblings now, she and Katassa were back to being best friends, she rarely saw Jake anymore, but still cared about him. And then there was Nog. Somewhere along the lines, he had become closer to her than anyone save Ari. And she couldn't understand that.
Ah well, back to the ship at hand. And at hand it was, right under her fingertips. "Kumsahmi," she breathed again, unfortunately right as Nog came up behind her.
"Yep." Nog laughed. "The Five Friends. Rather appropriate, I think. Have you met the newest doctor?"
Arys shook her head, watching in amusement as Nog both chatted with her and checked over her station. It wouldn't do if the Kumsahmi gave out during her maiden voyage. "No, I haven't. Is she nice?"
"Yeah, kind of." Nog answered, and Arys cocked her head in confusion. "Well, she's really quiet, and she immediately assumes that everything's her fault. It's almost annoying."
Arys laughed. "I suppose my way of looking at things is better?" For a moment, Nog joined her laughter before his expression turned serious again.
"Maybe. I don't think that blaming everything on machines counts, though. Still, I'm almost worried about her. She won't even meet my eyes, Arys."
That surprised Arys, but she rallied. She was in too good a mood to be serious, just now. "Maybe she can't. After all, Nog, you've gotten *so* tall."
Nog glared up at her. She was the only one who ever got away with teasing him about his small height. "Aww, shut up and go back to dreamland, Arys. Enjoy yourself. We'll leave docking in about an hour, so be prepared. If I were you, I would go over everything with a fine-tooth comb."
Arys nodded at him, and he moved to the next station, giving it a final check-up as she began to set up everything exactly as she wanted it. Most of it was there, but she had to be sure.
From nowhere, a giggle escaped her lips. She ran her fingers over the smooth keypad, almost caressing it, and closed her eyes, dreaming of manning this station forever. Eventually, she would have to move on, but for now, this was a dream come true.
Colonel Kira Nerys walked hesitantly into the Infirmary. She still couldn't believe that the doctor was alive, much less that she would get to tell him everything she had felt. She could remember so much about the past, about how she had felt. And overwhelming all of that was the need to tell him goodbye, much as she had gotten to tell Odo and Dax goodbye. It wasn't the same thing, but it still helped her believe that they knew.
"Umm, Doctor?" Her voice sounded so soft and hesitant. She wasn't sure just whether he would know who it was. But when he walked out of his office, it was obvious that he had already been briefed on the situation.
She tried to keep a cool mind in this. She had to be calm and collected, clear-headed. She had to remember that this Bashir didn't know what had happened to the Bashir in her universe. Prophets, how she hated alternate realities.
"I see you've been briefed. Sisko sent me here for a Changling test. He wanted to make absolute sure I was who I said I was. If you wouldn't mind, I'd feel more comfortable if you did the procedure yourself."
Bashir nodded, all compassionate acceptance. Nerys realised that despite his over-eagerness in the beginning, he had always had that gentle, understanding quality about him. And suddenly, she could understand what Jadzia had seen in him. And it brought tears to her eyes.
Bashir paused above the small prick he had made in her skin when a tear splashed down onto his wrist. He looked up, wondering at the sight of Kira, even one from another universe, crying. "Is something wrong, Colonel?"
"N-no." One word, but that was all it took. Suddenly, Nerys was crying, completely and totally abandoned. She looked away, but the damage was done.
Bashir quickly checked the blood, then stood up, standing directly in front of her. She sighed, and when he hesitantly put his arms around her in a comforting fashion, she relaxed into them. "What is it, Colonel?"
Nerys didn't even hear the title. "I keep remembering your funeral. I know it wasn't yours, exactly, but to me it's the same thing. There were so many things I never got to tell you, so many things that I wish I had done, Julian."
The doctor's eyes widened, but he said nothing, preferring to let her talk this out.
"Do you know that I hated you when you first came to the station? You were so eager, so damned annoying that I wanted to slap you about every five minutes. But somewhere along the way you turned into the best doctor I've ever had the privilege to work with. You were always so kind and considerate of others, even when they weren't as considerate of you.
"I remember when we teased you about the Carrington award. Your outrage was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, and I was so sure that you would win. I know you wanted to, even though you kept telling us that you didn't. When you lost, and I saw you, it was like I was seeing one of the most mature people in the galaxy. I knew then that you'd grown up from that would-be hero into a good doctor." Nerys trailed off, remembering other times. She relaxed her hold on him, but he didn't pull away. Even though she wasn't the woman he dreamed about, she needed this, so he would give it without worry.
"You know, Colonel, I think I like you." The words were light, cheerful, and they brought Nerys back to herself. She sat up straight, looking at Bashir for a long time. Then she grinned. It wasn't the cocky yet compassionate grin of the Major he knew. It had been honed into true caring by someone or something. And for once, Bashir wondered what had changed her so much.
Arys looked around the old station, remembering for herself everything that had happened here, all of the dinners that she had shared with Jake and Benjamin, all of the times that Jake had taken her to the holosuite. Right now, he was holed up with his father. She had been invited to join them, but had declined, knowing that they would eventually discuss the SSTF, and not wanting to be around for that. It was still difficult for her to talk about.
Instead, she wandered around the station itself, looking for old friends. And she saw the last person she expected to see on the station, Gul Dukat. Without thinking, she walked right up to him.
"Dukat, what are you doing here?" She addressed him familiarly, even though they weren't on the same level, because of his son. She had from the beginning. Ari had told her that it ticked him off, and at the time, she had gleaned great enjoyment from that fact. Now, she didn't care. It was habit.
"Ahh, Arys." The words were warmer than usual. She narrowed her gaze, worried. "I didn't expect you here ever again, after what happened at the SSTF. Imagine, you just up and disappeared. Whatever happened to you, Arys?" His words were cold, but she just smiled at him.
"The SSTF has been taken care of. But suffice to say, I needed rescuing, and your son, as part of a team, came to my aid. Thank you, Dukat, for teaching him right from wrong, if only by example."
Dukat stared at her for a few more minutes before she turned and left him to his own devices. He knew what she meant. Wandering aimlessly, she found herself suddenly in front of the holosuites. She had taken the precaution of purchasing an 'anytime' token from Quark, just in case. Now, she was glad. She decided quickly, and went inside.
Once in the holosuite itself, she said aloud, "Program Jake alpha 10." The holosuite changed to reveal a small pond with a bridge going across it. Staring at the small fishing pond, she could believe that this was Paradise. Sinking down onto the bridge, she thought about everything that had happened, and realised something about herself. Ari was right.
She could deal with this herself.
Arys turned the last page of the book, then set it away from her. For a long moment, she stared at the cover of the book, thinking to herself. So many memories, each one more precious to her than the last. And where had she ended up?
She was here, with Jake, wondering if and when she would ever see the others. And she was afraid. Jake is different here, she thought to herself. We have almost nothing in common, save for the dreams. Is that enough? Can he love me here? Can I love him?
Her fingers stole back over the cover of the book in a light caress, and she shuddered, then looked at the time. A gasp escaped her lips. Dinner! I completely missed it! She smiled softly, then padded into the small room that served as her kitchen. She still couldn't make anything edible, but that was what replicators were for, right?
"Ummm, I know what I want. Shrimp creole, with a side of wild rice and mashed potatoes." Jake had introduced her to that particular joy in her dreams, and it still remained one of her favourite foods. She grabbed the marterialising dish and headed back into the other room, seating herself in front of the pile of books she had pulled out, wondering whether she wanted to continue her trek into the past.
Odo was in his quarters, just oozing about and trying not to think about what it meant that Keurithe and Colonel Kira were on the station. Even in his thoughts, he couldn't call her Nerys. It was too hard, too much. He wanted so much that he could not have, and she knew it.
As if thinking about her had summoned her, there was a chime at his door. He coelesced into his standard humanoid shape and said, "Enter." She did.
"Colonel." Odo was having difficulty keeping his jaw from impacting with the floor. "What are you doing here?"
Nerys nearly cried at that. It wasn't the greeting she had been expecting, or even hoping for. She had been the one wronged, and yet he was acting as though she had no right to visit him.
"Well, Odo, I just thought I might visit you, see what you were doing. Do you want me to leave?" It cost her a lot to ask that question. But she knew it cost him even more to answer it.
"No. You can stay. I think I would enjoy talking to you." If Odo had needed to breathe, his breath would be ragged right then. As it was, he completely forgot to simulate breathing, which Nerys found amusing.
She began laughing, and with some confusion, Odo finally joined her. After all, he had missed her very much. When they were done, she touched his arm and slid to the floor, knowing from long experience that he didn't keep chairs in his quarters. Odo smiled at her, and slid down to join her.
"It was a surprise to find out that I was in this universe. Perhaps the Prophets are looking out for us." Odo shifted his gaze away from her, and that gave her the courage to ask him what she had come to. "Odo, why did you run out on me like that? I don't think I deserve that treatment from anyone, least of all you."
Odo's shoulders sagged, and he turned so that he was staring helplessly into her eyes. "Colonel . . . Kira . . . *Nerys*, I was afraid." He thought back to that evening, and a hint of shame came into his eyes. "I love you, but it's *my* Kira, this Kira, that I'm in love with. And I shouldn't have done something like that without meaning it."
Nerys' eyes watered. Now, she knew. "No, Odo, you shouldn't have. But we're both to blame. You aren't the Odo I'm in love with, either. Can we call it even? Maybe get back to being friends?"
The hope in the gaze that Odo turned on her left Nerys' heart shorn in two. "I'd like that, N-nerys."
She smiled gently. "Good. Odo, I have a question to ask you, friend to friend." Odo nodded, and she continued. "Why haven't you told her yet, Odo? Not what happened between us. I don't see why that ever has to leave this room. But why not tell her how you feel?"
Odo turned away, depression in his gaze. "I . . . can't, Nerys. She's involved with Shakaar. I don't want her to be unhappy."
Nerys' grin was wide when he turned back to her. "Odo, I can speak from experience here. That relationship doesn't mean as much to her as you do. In a few months, Shakaar is going to be found with another woman if Kira remains with him. And then she will be heartbroken, and she might never find love if you don't tell her how you feel."
Odo's eyes flashed. "You don't know that will happen, Nerys. This universe is different from yours. In this one, Jake is pursuing a writing career. He's not going to be the head of some organization known as the Eysu Moraht. And there are hundreds of other little differences that make up this universe into its own, unique pattern. Any one of them could keep Shakaar with Kira for eternity." Odo trailed off, pained by the idea but wanting to defend Kira's choice nonetheless.
Nerys, in her turn, stared at him. "I wonder if my Odo was this adamant during my relationship with Shakaar." She shook her head. "You're right, of course. I wasn't thinking. But I want to see you happy, Odo. And I know in my heart that Kira will love you, if you just give her the chance." With that, she stood up, walking out of the room.
Odo sat on the ground, staring at the far wall blankly, wondering how he should react to that. And wondering whether she was right. Would Kira love him, given the opportunity? Would he ever find out?
Arys looked down at the books in front of her, when her computer signalled that she had an incoming message. She stood, going to the screen and setting in the code. To her surprise, Jake's face stared back at her. It was apologetic. "Arys, I'm afraid that I have to put off getting together with you tonight. My grandfather's very sick, and he just got a lot worse." Arys' heart jumped into her throat.
"What can I do, Jake?"
Jake shook his head. "Nothing, right now, but thanks. I'll make it up to you later, okay?" The sheer pain in his face kept her quiet. She nodded once, and closed the channel, tears springing to her face. She needed a good memory right now.
She moved back to the books and without looking picked up the one with the midnight blue binding. Her fingers caressed the worn cover, and paper pages. She loved the feel of the paper underneath her fingertips, a love she knew had come from Jake. Her breath caught in her throat, and quickly, she turned to the first memory.
Ari, Katassa, and Arys stood in the dark room, watching the flame burn. Arys was scared, not knowing how they would react to her request. But she had to do it. These people meant so much to her. Too much for her to just ignore the ceremony altogether.
"Ari? Katassa? I was wondering if I could ask you something. Well, first, let me give you a little background, so you understand." She flushed, knowing she was putting off the question.
"You see, in the Resistance, whenever two people became very close, but not lovers, they usually declared each other l'sonneth. I guess the closest translation is soul-sibling, or blood brother. It was a really simple ceremony, and one that the Cardassians couldn't detect. After that, the two were of the same family. They were welcome in each other's safehouses, etc. It was a good way.
"Anyway, I was wondering if the two of you would do me the honor of becoming my l'sonneths? You wouldn't have to be so to each other, if we did the ceremony properly." Arys had to add that last part. She had seen how close Katassa and Ari had become since Jake's promotion party.
Ari's eyes twinkled, and Katassa blushed. But both nodded slowly. "I think we'd both be honored, Arys," Ari said to her.
Arys nodded, then pulled out a pair of scissors. "I need a lock of your hair, each of you. Usually the one against the nape of the neck works best." She handed the scissors to them, and they just stared at her for a long moment. Ari was the first one to make a decision.
With a swift movement, he cut the piece of hair in question, then passed the scissors over the Katassa. She sighed, but did the same. Arys took the two locks of hair, and moved over to a table set up in a darkened corner of the room. Ari grinned. "I take it this ceremony is supposed to be at night?"
"Nope. But you get the full effect if it's dark out. And I don't want you to miss any of this." Arys grinned, then took the scissors and cut off a lock of her own hair. She placed it in a small bowl, then placed the other two in their own respective bowls. After she was done, she turned back to them. "Who wants to go first?"
Ari turned to Katassa with a smile, but she motioned for him to go first. A short laugh, and he agreed. "I'll go. I think Katassa's afraid."
Katassa and Arys grinned at that. "I am not afraid. I just want to see what's involved in this ceremony."
Arys nodded slowly, then took the hair out of two of the three bowls. She twined the hair together, and dropped it into a fourth bowl that seemed almost invisible. Ari was willing to bet latinum that it was black. She snatched the hair out quickly, and went over to the flame burning brightly in the center of the room. With a quick shrug, she tossed the twined hair into the flame.
Ari flinched. He had smelled burned hair before, and knew that it was unpleasant in the extreme. But instead of the awful smell he expected, a whiff of flowers came from the flame, only for a moment. And as he watched, two colors lifted from the flame, heading for the ceiling. One was red, a blood red that he wouldn't have expected to show up in the room at all. The other was a bright sky-blue. The two colors combined to form a bright violet, then disappeared completely.
Arys looked over at Ari and Katassa, and was more than pleased to see the wonder on their faces. She, personally, had seen more than her share of these ceremonies, and was used to it. But these two had never even heard of this ceremony before, and so hadn't had a clue of what to expect. While they were staring at the flame, trying to calm themselves, she cut one more lock of hair, treating it quickly.
"Katassa, are you ready?" She turned to Katassa, who nodded silently. With a slight smile, she tossed in the hair that she had prepared. It went up with a soft crackle, and this time the colors were forest green and sky-blue. As the others watched, the two colors combined into a third, an aquamarine color which then slipped out of eyesight.
A near-silent exhale let Arys know that the others were more than impressed by what had occurred. She grinned softly, then said, "Show's over guys. And I'm now your sister." With a small grin, she brought the lights up and blew out the flame. The two came up to her, hugging her close for a single instant, then went back to marvelling at the wonderful ceremony.