The characters of Jadzia Dax, Odo, Kira Nerys, Benjamin Sisko, Jake Sisko, Nog, and Quark, not to mention the space station Deep Space Nine are not mine, as much as I'd like them to be. Legally they belong to Paramount. The characters you don't recognize are mine, however. Hahahahaha, finally, all mine. Oh, sorry.
Author's notes:This story came about from a roundtable story done between my best friend Kira and I. I really hope you enjoy it. I'd rate it PG because it does have some adult content in it, although it is tastefully done, much like the true series. The story is set somewhere in the fourth season, with fourth season spoilers. So if you haven't seen the fourth season eps. you better watch out. And not all of the fourth season is included, for those of you who want purity.
The title comes from Ode to Intimations of Immortality from Early Recollections of Childhood, by Wordsworth. I hope you'll be able to see how it fits in with the plot. Enjoy the story, and email me if you have any comments, flames, etc. My address is miyaka@gto.net.
Dedication:I'd like to dedicate this story to my friend Kira, without whom the Eysu Moraht would never have existed, and to all of my prereaders, without whom the story would not have existed. I'd also like to dedicate it to Eloise and Jimmy Hill, two people now gone but whom the world will always treasure.
The Faith That Looks Through Death
by Yuuki Miyaka
Chapter 5
"So, you think that the SubGate was what pulled you into our time." Benjamin watched Jadzia, smiling. In the years he had known her, he had always trusted his instincts. Now, although what she said seemed ludicrous at the outset, he knew enough to realize that she was working with wisdom he would be a fool to ignore. But his thoughts were not only on how brilliant she was. He hadn't seen her in almost twenty-two years, and he was surprised at how beautiful she was.
"Yes, Benjamin. I realize that there are no accounts of such phenomena before, but who's to say that it can't happen. And there are no other leads to work with. I don't know what else I can come up with." Jadzia started as Kira approached the two. Benjamin's smile grew slightly, and he nodded at the colonel. He hid his anger at being interrupted well, he thought.
"Hello, Nerys. It's been a long time."
Kira nodded and smiled at Jadzia. "Catching up on old times, you two?"
Benjamin shook his head, and Jadzia kept her mouth shut. "Actually, we were trying to sort out all the different theories on why Jadzia and Odo are here. Do you have any ideas?"
Kira sat down, shaking her head. Jadzia watched the two senior officers, trying to determine if there was any antagonism between the two. There didn't seem to be. Jadzia looked up, then sighed as she saw Odo coming. She had forgotten about their lunch date.
"Hello. May I join you?" It was clear that Odo was somewhat uncomfortable in this crowd, but there was nothing Jadzia could really do. Jadzia looked around the group, remembering the past. Four people, once good friends, were now reduced to sitting together in Quark's, each trying to think of something to say. It was difficult for each of them, in their own way.
Jadzia finally broke the barrier, commenting on her previous conversation to the two newcomers. Kira and Odo listened attentively, each adding to the theory. Kira was the first. "It could have been made by the SubGate, I suppose. But isn't there some sort of theory against that, Ben?" Jadzia shivered as she heard Kira's comment. She didn't understand why the name annoyed her, but it did. Perhaps it was knowing the history, knowing that it had taken her death for the two of them to truly become close. But a small voice inside her head whispered that the real reason was far from being that chaste.
Benjamin nodded slowly, letting Kira's statement sink in, and Odo threw out a thought of his own. "If it _is_ the SubGate, then wouldn't it simply be a matter of reversing the process? I mean, couldn't we be dropped off with a minimum of effort?" Kira shook her head, and Benjamin sighed.
Dax turned to Odo. "It isn't that simple, Odo. Somehow, according to Dr. Andrell, our bodies have become infused with terionic isotopes. This wouldn't be a problem, except he believes that those isotopes are keeping us anchored to this timeline." Odo nodded thoughtfully.
"I remember reading a criminal report not long ago. It seemed that some doctor was experimenting with terionic isotopes, and found a way to mutate them into a rather primitive door." Dax shook her head, as did the rest, and Odo could tell that they had no idea where the criminal element came into play. "The doctor had his research banned and kidnapped people for his experiments. When the authorities came to arrest him, he stepped into the door. No one has seen him since." Benjamin looked away, thinking.
"That sounds a little close to Henry Jekyll, doesn't it, Old Man?" Jadzia nodded, seeing the parallels. Kira only looked confused, although to her credit, she didn't seem angry about it any longer. Perhaps she was used to being left in the dark.
"Were there any speculations on where the door led, Odo?" Dax's quiet voice penetrated Odo's observations, and he looked at her in chagrin.
"There were a few. Some thought that it was a kind of temporal rift. Others considered that it might lead into some parallel universe." And his eyes widened as he considered the possibilities.
"A parallel universe, hmmm?"
"Dammit, Arys, are you trying to kill me?" Jake's friend glanced at him, her look cold. Jake shivered slightly, concerned.
"I've been trying to do that for ages, oh magnificent one," she bit out, and Jake stared at her in confusion. She faced him off, preparing for her next lunge, and Jake sighed.
"Will you talk to me, at least? Have I done something?" Arys only laughed, but that laugh sent chills up Jake's spine. He shivered slightly, imagining Arys truly angry, and backed up another step. Suddenly, a bell sounded in the distance, and each of them broke out of the set, Jake a little more warily than Arys. He didn't relax until Arys broke into a grin.
"Well! Think the acting lessons paid off?" Jake swallowed.
"I'd say so. It looked like you were really trying to kill me there for a little while. Why were you acting like that?" Arys shook her head softly.
"C'mon, Jake. Don't be so silly. Do you honestly think your enemies won't use your feelings against you? If I were your enemy, I'd let you work yourself into a frenzy believing you'd wronged me in some way, and then I'd strike, and you wouldn't even consider that maybe it was all an act for your benefit in the first place." Jake nodded, seeing what she meant.
"So, are we still on for lunch, or are you really mad at me?" Arys laughed as she disappeared into her office. When she re-emerged, wearing a loose-fitting tunic and tight leggings, Jake swallowed. She smiled at him and motioned for him to enter. He did, by now used to the small changing room and shower her office afforded. She had requested their add-on when she took him for a student, and had conveniently placed his classes near her breaks so that they could spend time together. Even so, it seemed that he never saw her. Inevitably, he would be called away, or would have to be late to his actual class. He sighed, shedding his practice clothes and stepping into the shower. It didn't take him long to rinse away the sweat he had worked up. And he grimaced as he left the shower for the small changing room.
He had brought his dress uniform. There was a small reception he had to attend directly after lunch, one that would tell him whether or not his officers would play ambassador to the Founders. He did not want to attend that meeting.
When Arys saw the uniform he was wearing, she sighed. Going over to him, she plucked an imaginary piece of dust off of his shoulder and brushed the front of his uniform. "The ambassadorial meeting, I presume." He smiled.
"I forget how much I tell you sometimes. It's funny. You might as well be my first officer. You already are, in most ways. You're the one who accompanies me to all the functions, and you're the one who knows the most about what's going on. Who else would I appoint? Ari? He works in the shipyards, and Nog would kill me. Katassa's already got too much autonomy as it is. I don't suppose you would care to suit up for this one, too?" Arys grinned and shook her head. On an impulse, she leaned up and brushed her lips against his. The pressure was slight, but it rocked him to the core. To hide his reaction, he stepped back, straightening his shirt front once more.
"Well, are we going to eat, or not?" The question was too hearty. Jake knew that the moment it left his mouth. And he couldn't understand. Why did he feel these feelings _now_, when nothing could be done about them? He knew that she had been seeing a fellow security officer for a while now. So why? Jake closed his eyes, contemplating the stars on the back of his lids, and when he reopened them, she was gone, and he was alone in a dark room.
"A turning point, it would seem." Tomorrow was his last full day at Shakaar's. His father had yelled at him, but Jake had refused to explain, saying only that he would be home in two weeks. And two weeks it had been. "But I don't understand. Why would she kiss me like that, after seeing that damned security officer?" Jake felt restless. He knew the reason, but couldn't credit it. And instead of reaching for his PADD, he lay on his back, dreaming waking dreams about the Bajoran who was his closest ally.
Odo and Kira had long since retired to her quarters, and were quietly discussing the day's events. Not much of note had happened here. A few of the Founders had come to the station recently, and were in diplomatic meetings with Arys and Jake Sisko. The two seemed up to the challenge, and Odo was surprised to find his people willing to negotiate. But things had changed, and he hadn't been here to witness them. With a sigh, he turned to Kira, who was yawning. That yawn reminded him that he was also tired.
"Well, Colonel, I think perhaps I should leave. It's time for me to return." The rest was left unsaid. There was no bucket now, she knew. But he still felt uncomfortable talking about it to her.
"Odo?" The near-silent query stopped him. "Do you think that perhaps you would consider staying here?" He gaped, staring at her in total shock. And she looked away. "I've been having nightmares recently, and I thought perhaps if you were in the other room, they might stop." He came closer to her, wondering what the nightmares had been about.
"You didn't tell me you were having nightmares." She shrugged, and he realized what she was doing. "You aren't having nightmares at all, are you?" She sighed. "Why are you lying to me, Colonel?" He was angry. The Kira he knew had only lied to him once, and that alone had nearly destroyed his faith in her. The fact that this one could do it so casually frightened him.
"I have been having them." At his look of doubt, she continued. "But I . . . doubt that your presence would affect them. They're about the war."
"Then my presence might antagonize them, if anything." She nodded, and he stared at her in confusion. "Why, Kira? Why did you ask me to stay, then?" Her face became hard, cold, and at the same time, tears filled her eyes, making her appear totally vulnerable.
"Is it so impossible to believe that I might want you to stay, for my own piece of mind? I know you're not him. Every moment I tell myself that you and _my_ Odo are not the same person. But what am I supposed to do? Wonder? Why the hell did you come back into my life? To tease me? To show me what I don't have, and never can? Damn you!" She reared back and slapped him, her hand connecting with his cheek and going through it. It didn't even faze her. She sank down onto her couch, tears slipping down her face, and Odo realized just how much his presence had already cost her.
He folded onto the couch beside her, and slipped a hand under her chin. Without thinking, his long fingers traced her cheeks, wiping away all signs of her tears, before her lips met his. His eyes opened in brief surprise, before he allowed himself to give into her simple ministrations.
Neither one left the chamber for hours.
Jake watched the viewscreen, waiting for a response. When none came, he sighed and turned away, wondering where the admiral was. He was rewarded with Ari's appearance in his doorway moments later.
"Jake, do you have a moment?"
Jake looked up in surprise. "I just tried to contact you. I need to talk to you about something."
Ari grinned slowly. "Well, my friend? What did you need to talk to me about?"
Jake sighed. "You first. You probably have more of a reason, seeing as how you actually left the shipyards to come here."
Ari's grin faded, and he regarded his old friend with grim composure. "It's about Katassa. I'm sure that by now you've heard our news. But I need to talk to you about arrangements for the child." Jake smiled softly. He understood just what Ari was getting at. "I can't marry her, Jake. She might need to make a marriage of alliance. But I won't give up what we have just because of that.
"The problem is, we don't know what to do about the kid. I've agreed to raise him, but I'll need substantial time off from the shipyards, and I don't know if you can afford to give me that time off." Jake's smile grew.
"Ari, I can always afford to give you time off. I don't think you've taken a _real_ vacation yet, not counting the weekends you spend with Katassa. You deserve the time off, and I know this. Besides, you've got Arys on your side. If I even suggest giving you more work, she threatens to beat me. And she has the opportunity to do it, too. She's been teaching me advanced self-defense. Any time she wants to, she can attack me in that class, and I will be powerless against her."
Ari nodded, understanding. "That isn't the only problem, though, Jake. I love her. She knows this." Jake nodded, encouraging his friend. Ari looked away. "She's told me to find someone else."
Jake's eyebrows shot up in alarm. "Why?" he asked in a strangled tone. Although the relationship was officially none of his business, he knew the two well enough to know all of their secrets.
"She said that she doesn't have enough time for me, and I would be happier elsewhere. I need someone to help convince her that I love her." Ari stared at the ground, unable to say what he truly felt.
"I'll help, Ari. Don't worry. And if you need help taking care of that kid, you know where to look, right?" Ari nodded, one of his worries assuaged. He waited a moment. When Jake said nothing, he cleared his throat pointedly.
"Hmmm?"
"I think you had something to ask me, didn't you, Jake?"
Jake nodded, remembering. "Ari, how are you supposed to deal with women?"
Ari laughed. When Jake didn't join him, Ari regarded his friend closely. "It's Arys, isn't it?"
Jake nodded, miserably. "Yes. I'm closer to her than to anyone else. I never expected it to turn to love. At least, not that kind of love."
"Does she know?"
Jake shook his head. "No. I don't think she even suspects. But I can't hide from her forever."
Ari smiled mysteriously and stood up. Jake blinked, and suddenly, he was in his quarters on Deep Space Nine. It hadn't been a difficult journey back to the station, but obviously it had stirred up interesting dreams. Jake lay there, wondering what Ari would have said.
Odo stared up at the ceiling, unsure of what to say to the sleeping woman. He was still in her bed, having found it protected to keep him from oozing into the cushions. Interesting that she would still possess this after so long. He assumed that it was because she found it comfortable. A smile crept onto his lips. He had been around humanoids far too long. He affected their expressions even though no one was watching him.
Kira tossed restlessly, and he stared at her. She was so soft when she slept, so like the child she had never been. As he watched, her sleepy eyes opened to regard him. She smiled when she saw what he was looking at. That smile destroyed the last of his defenses, and he was left completely open to her. "Good morning, Odo."
He suddenly remembered where he was, and why he could not stay with her. They were close to discovering a way back. Dax had told him this the night before, as the two of them spoke of the trip. "This shouldn't have happened, Colonel."
Kira pushed herself up onto her elbows in pain. The tears ripped him open, but he said nothing, waiting for her reply.
"Why not?" Two simple words, but they hung between the couple like lead weights. Odo rose to his feet and began pacing furiously.
"I can't stay here, Colonel." His harsh words and tone infuriated her.
"Dammit, Odo, call me Nerys. We just shared more than I've shared with anyone else." She looked away in frustration. "But when you call me by my title, it's like I don't even exist to you."
Odo turned away from her, unable to express what he felt. "I . . . can't call you Nerys. And this shouldn't have happened. You don't love me, and I don't love you." He started to walk out, but stopped when he heard her small cry. Immediately, he regretted what he had said. True, she was not the Kira he had grown to love, but she was still some part of that Kira, and he had no business hurting her the way he had. He turned once more. "I'm sorry, Col . . . Kira. But you know I'm right."
She shook her head. "You're wrong, Odo. I loved you all those years ago, and I love you now. The only difference I see is that you can't bear to admit it this time." She raised her chin, determined to be strong.
He sighed, wanting more than anything to stay at her side. But he couldn't. Eventually, he pivoted and left, taking care to make the departure as quick and painless as possible.
Jake paced in his room, waiting for Arys. He had said nothing of the occasion, only telling her to wear a nice dress. For his part, he was dressed in his dress uniform. She often said that it complimented his eyes, so he wore it when they were going somewhere special. But pacing did not help, and eventually he got sick of it. He surveyed the room quickly, making certain that everything was absolutely perfect. It was.
The door chime sounded, and Jake swallowed reflexively. With a final tug on the front of his uniform, he went to the door, obscuring the visitor's view. It was Arys, arrayed in a deep violet gown. She looked like a visiting dignitary from a particularly rich planet, and Jake sucked in his breath. He could remember only one other time when she had looked this lovely, and he smiled slightly at the memory. Arys' eyes lit up in an answering smile, and she looked down.
"So, where are we headed?"
Jake realized at that moment that she was still standing in the door, and he moved to usher her in. She entered the room in a motion of supreme grace, looking around in wonder. "Jake, are these your rooms? I don't recognize anything." Jake smiled once more, and she looked around at him. Suddenly, he saw the girl from all those years ago deep inside her, and had a ridiculous urge to draw her out.
"So, Arys, would you care to dance?" He asked the question silent from all those years ago, and she nodded slowly.
"Jake, what is this? You ask me to dress in the best outfit I have, you have on your dress uniform, and your quarters look like a king got to them." She regarded him suspiciously. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to romance me."
Jake laughed at her joke, but it rang hollow in both their ears. She looked back up at him in alarm, and moved in closer to him, afraid of what he would say next.
"Arys," he began, then trailed off. Somehow, the practiced speech seemed silly in the face of this moment. He gulped, and tried again, but once more nothing came out. By this time, Arys was looking at him fearfully, and he knew he had to say something.
"Arys, we've known each other for along time now." Arys smiled, though the curvature of her lips did not reach her eyes. She nodded somberly, willing him to continue. "At least twenty years, in fact. You could say that this time has been leading up to this moment." He stopped at that, silenced by a single finger laid across his lips. Without thinking, he kissed the finger tenderly, and she drew back as though burned.
"You're leaving, aren't you? I know you've been offered a job as one of the ambassadors to the Founders. I should have known you would take it. You always hated the way they treated Odo." She turned away from him, and Jake moved to take her shoulders in his hands, his chest against her back.
"Arys, I won't leave you. I swear it. You were alone once, and you nearly died because of it. I can't do that to you again." She turned in his arms, and suddenly the two were kissing passionately. It was minutes before either could bear to break away, and when they did, they bother were breathing heavily.
Jake broke the silence, curious. "Arys, I've figured out my adult question." She regarded him for a moment before going to the table he had laid out.
"What is it?" She sank down into one of the chairs, and Jake sighed.
"Why did you stop seeing that security officer?" Arys shook her head, thinking.
"We . . . didn't work. There was nothing for either of us. If I hadn't stopped it, he would have eventually hated me. Besides, he hated the fact that we weren't equals. And I couldn't help him. I know my place, and that is as the Security Chief of the Eysu. My relationship with him couldn't change that." She trailed off, looking up at Jake and he could see the strength of the spirit within her. He smiled.
"Arys, I want to ask you the most important question I've ever asked anyone." The room grew totally silent. "Will you marry me?" He slipped a Bajoran betrothal bracelet onto her wrist, and she stared at it for long moments, unable to grasp the meaning behind it. He looked away from her, not sure of what her answer was going to be.
A trembling hand reached out and grasped his steady one, and he pulled her off of the chair and into his arms. Her body went flush against his as her arms wound sinuously around his neck, and she whispered one word before giving herself over to his kiss.
"Yes . . . ."
Dr. Andrell's office was filled with people. He sat before them, looking at the readings of Odo and Jadzia, wondering if what they had decided was true. Finally, he spoke.
"Jadzia, Odo, you are right. You do display unnatural levels of terionic activity. These are not the levels one would expect on anyone except a subject of Dr. Trisan. But he's been gone for a good twenty years or so, so I don't really know how to credit it. Still, there are other ways you could have received a concentration this high. I've been looking over your reports, and from what I can tell, you must have passed through a cloud of the stuff. Now, all we have to do is figure out why it brought you here."
Kira, standing in a corner of the room, sighed. Odo looked over at her, wanting to offer comfort, but he could do nothing. On the other side of the room, Jadzia sat with Benjamin and Lenzar. Each of them seemed protective, but she preferred to deal with the problem on her own. There was no telling where this could lead to, and she didn't want to drag either of them in more than she had to. But she did appreciate their compassion.
"I've been trying to trace the levels back, and they seemed to have originated in the Delta Quadrant. Perhaps a ship of the Eysu Moraht could take us back for further study." Jadzia's voice was quiet, but her words carried a world of meaning for everyone in the room. Odo and Kira would not see each other after he left, and Lenzar would have only this time to get to know the Jadzia he admired. Benjamin would never see his friend again. The thought nearly choked her, and she looked away from him.
"Actually, the Eysu sent scientists to study the area you first arrived. They have discovered a cloud of the terionic isotopes we're discussing right now. But they didn't realize the significance of the discovery, so they didn't comment on it. I finally found out, thanks to a personal interview I conducted." Andrell sighed. "I thought that Admiral Sisko would have taught them better than that. The only reason I even thought to ask about the cloud was because of the unusually high readings I found in you two." He nodded at Odo and Jadzia. Each of them smiled wanly.
"Doctor, do you think it could be a door to another universe?" That was Odo, who was grasping at straws at this point. Jadzia looked up, confused.
"What do you mean, Odo? I thought that we were just in the future, not a parallel dimension." Odo shook his head.
"Certain things have been bothering me for some time now. Why was Jake in the Academy, as opposed to Pennington? How did civil war break out on Bajor? Bajor isn't stable where we come from, but it's a lot more stable than it was here." Jadzia nodded thoughtfully, and Kira looked up in surprise.
"But that means that we may not . . . ." Odo just looked at her, willing her not to complete the statement. It was Benjamin that did, though.
"That you may never fall in love. That's true, Nerys. But it's just as possible that the two of you in that timeline could marry and stay together for the rest of your life." Benjamin avoided Odo's eyes at that. They all knew that changelings lived many more years than Bajorans or humans did. "Do you really want to keep Odo from his rightful place?" Kira's eyes filled with tears, and she turned away. There was a muffled "no" from where she stood.
Odo went to her, knowing how much she would need comfort at this point. He hesitantly touched her shoulder, expecting her to shrug him off. Instead, much to his surprise, she turned so that her face was buried in his chest. His arms came up around her shoulders tentatively, and he felt her trembling. The others each sighed, knowing how they felt about Odo and Jadzia leaving.
The doctor finally caught everyone's attention again. "I think that you're right, Odo. There is a good possibility that you came from a parallel universe, made even more likely by the unusual readings I've been receiving from you and Commander Dax. I'll look into the matter." They nodded, and left Andrell to his work. Jadzia went with Benjamin to discuss the discoveries. Odo took Kira back to her quarters, hoping she would accept what he had to do.
Jake lay down on his bed, worried. He had not dreamt for the last five nights, and was wondering if the story was not to be played out. He was praying for the dream to come, to transport him to that other world where he was so happy. They had kept him from going insane in a time when so many things were going wrong. First Dax and Odo had disappeared, then he had gone to Bajor without his father's permission. Now, his father wouldn't even consider allowing him to go to Quark's without worrying. Jake could understand his father's fear, but he needed to check about Arys. He had been disappointed, but there was no help for that. He knew his father was afraid of losing Jake the way he had lost Dax and Odo. Jake prayed every day that they would return, but now he was praying even more that he would find his dreams again.
His eyes closed, and opened onto Deep Space Nine. He was in Quark's, wearing his dress uniform. He swallowed, confused. Looking around, he realized that he was in the dream again. Only the dream had changed. Now, they were on the station. Had he journeyed back in time, to a time he had missed when showing Arys around the station for the first time? Suddenly, Ari walked up, smiling, and Jake knew that he had been wrong. Ari was old, as Jake felt, which meant that there was no way he could have been back in the time he thought. And then he remembered. "She said yes."
"What?" Ari asked softly.
"I just still can't believe that Arys said yes. I never thought this day would come for us." Ari smiled a sad smile, and Jake looked away, a guilty flush darkening his cheeks. "Sorry, I guess I'm just too wrapped up in myself. Can you forgive me?" Ari shook his head gently.
"There's nothing to forgive, Jake. You're happy, and that's all any of us ever wanted. I'm glad that you and Arys will be married. But it took long enough." Jake looked bewildered.
"What do you mean?" Ari grinned, remembering.
"It's been obvious for ages how the two of you felt about each other. We thought that you two would pick up on it long before now, but I guess we were wrong." Jake stared at his friend.
"How long?"
"Since that dance, all those years ago." When Jake looked puzzled, Ari elaborated. "Do you remember the dance at the beginning of our second year in the Academy?" Jake looked shocked, but nodded. "Well, you spent the entire first half-hour looking for Arys, and then you looked like you were ready to die when she came in. And of course, she only had eyes for you. I tried to dance with her, if you remember, and she brushed me off. After the two of you were on the dance floor, Nog started laying odds on how long it would take for you to start dating officially. But you never did." Jake smiled.
"Trust Nog. We got too caught up in the creation of the Eysu, and the next thing we knew, we were all admirals. It took me a while to admit how I felt, too. I was afraid that the three of you would think I was playing favorites or something." Ari thought for a moment.
"Nah, but it was a worthy thought. That's why we follow you, Jake. You always think of the repercussions of your actions. I'm proud to serve under you, even moreso now that you've come to your senses. But I think we're keeping the guests waiting."
"Ari, I want you to know that I appreciate all the things you've said today." Ari just nodded, and the two moved into their respective places as groom and entourage. As Jake watched, two figures moved down the aisle. Arys smiled radiantly at her husband-to-be, seemingly unconcerned about the effect this step would have on her life. She looked dazzling in her own dress uniform, and Jake could remember the reasons she gave for wearing it. He still thought her practicality was funny. The other figure was Benjamin Sisko, Jake's father, who was giving Arys away. The couple had chosen a combination of the traditional Bajoran and Terran weddings. Mostly, it was Terran, although the vows and clothing were much closer to a Bajoran wedding. But the most impressive thing to Arys, Jake knew, was the fact that the Emissary himself had agreed to give her away. She would tell their children about it, he thought, grinning.
Jake himself had a few doubts. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, and he knew that marriages didn't always work out. But he had been practically living with her since they had left the Academy, so perhaps it wouldn't matter. Jake shivered slightly as his bride reached his side, and together they looked at the commander of the station. It was now Kira's station, and she was doing the honors today. She smiled at each of them, and began the ceremony.
It went perfectly. Nothing untoward happened. No-one came demanding the wedding to be called off, the guests were comfortable, and the vows were exchanged without a single slip. And then came the moment Jake had been waiting for. "You may kiss the bride," Kira said, and Jake turned to Arys. She smiled up at him as his lips descended, and both sets of eyes drifted shut.
When Jake reopened his eyes, he was unsurprised to find himself staring up at his ceiling in the middle of the night. What did surprise him was the taste of her still lingering with him.
Odo hovered at the window, waiting for Kira to speak. He knew that they didn't have much time left, and he needed to talk to her before then. It took a while, but eventually, she turned to face him again. She watched his back for long moments, furious with herself for caring so much. Finally, she spoke.
"Odo, we need to talk. I have something you need to consider." Odo pivoted so that he was facing her.
"Yes, Colonel?" Kira shivered, and Odo amended his statement. "Yes, Kira?"
"Why don't you stay here, Odo? I could use your help, and it would be much better for you. We're on the verge of making peace with your people. You could be happy here, I know it."
Odo just stared at her. "Kira, what are you saying? I can't stay here."
Kira moved away from him. "Why not? Odo, you're welcome here. You know that. We could use your expertise with the station. Shakaar admires you. I know he would be happy to give you whatever position you wanted. All you have to do is say yes." Kira knew she was uncomfortably close to begging, but at the moment, she didn't care.
"Kira, why are you doing this?" It was a good question he asked. Why was she doing this? A moment's thought revealed the already-known truth to her. She loved him. She had for years, and had resigned herself to never seeing him again. But now she had an opportunity to hold him close again, and she wasn't going to lose that chance. With a small sigh, she walked over to him. One finger traced his jaw as she stared up at him in sorrow.
"I have to," she said simply. "This is my last chance. I can't lose it. I've been alone too long not to know how important this is." She took his face in her hands, pulling him down to inches away from her own face. "I love you, Odo. Please, stay with me."
Odo pulled away. "I . . . can't, Kira. You should know that. I'm not the Odo you love, and I'm not meant to be here. If I could stay with you, I would, but it's not possible. I'm . . . sorry."
Kira turned toward the door. "I see. I'm sorry I put you on the spot like that, Odo. You can go now. I won't bother you again." Odo watched her for several minutes. She didn't move, aside from a small shivering in her shoulders. He guessed it was from tears that she didn't want him to see.
As he watched her, he realized that this was probably the last time he would see her. He guessed that she wouldn't bid him good-bye, seeing how she felt now. So he stared at her, trying to record in his memory every detail about her. Her red hair, once bright, was now peppered with grey. She stooped slightly, as though the weight of the universe had weighed upon her too heavily in the past years. Lines etched her face with cares, yet through it all, she remained beautiful to him. The sparkle was still in her eyes, he remembered from their night together.
Without thinking, he came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. But to his surprise, she pulled away, and fled the room. He looked down at his hands and sighed before leaving. The door shut solidly behind him, a final knell to his dreams of staying with a loving Kira. And in his heart, he knew he had lost.