Shadow Redemption

Shadow Redemption

Chapter 4: Spell! Shadow Redemption

When Lina finally burst through the cell door, another hour had passed. Zelgadis was still trying to think of a way to escape, still clinging gently to Tanith's hand. Both yelped in surprise at the sudden explosion in the tiny room, momentarily blinded with the hall's morning light.

Lina stood silhouetted in the doorway, hands on hips, smiling proudly as they dust cleared. "There you are!" she cried triumphantly, the captives wincing with the volume. "Almost thought you'd sneaked away or something." She paused, raising an eyebrow at the condition of her friends. "Don't you all look cozy."

Zelgadis, who was facing the door, scowled darkly, praying the red-head wouldn't notice his embarrassment "Stop talking and get us out of this."

Lina waved to a figure behind her. "Go ahead, Gourry."

The swordsman entered, Sylphiel and Amelia hovering in the background. In several deft movements the chains were broken and the two were free. Zelgadis sat up slowly, arms and legs complaining. "How'd you all get out, anyway?" he asked, rubbing his stiff neck.

"Well," Lina started, "It wasn't very difficult. I was keeping very calm and--"

"They didn't take Gourry-sama's sword," Sylphiel interrupted, cringing away from the sorceress's glare. "When we finally realized, we broke out and found Lina-san."

"And you sure took your sweet time with that realization," the red-head spat; she was clearly displeased that she had to admit to needing their help.

Zelgadis sighed, choosing to ignore the rest of the argument; he knew it forwards and backwards. His limbs were still a bit cramped, but in standing they relaxed even more. He stretched, pleased with his quick recovery, before turning to his fellow captive.

Tanith was just pushing herself into a sitting position, obviously in more pain than the chimera was. She was facing away from the group, one hand rubbing her left arm. Zelgadis crouched down beside her. In the background, Amelia came to the defense of the priestess.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Tanith looked up slowly, wincing at the pain in her neck. "My arm fell asleep," she explained softly, nodding at the offending limb. "It'll be okay in a second."

Zelgadis nodded. After a moment's hesitation, he offered her a hand. She smiled, gratefully accepting his help in climbing to her feet. She wavered a bit, and she clung to his arm until her balance was regained. "Thank you."

"Sure."

"Hey you two," Lina called. Apparently the argument was over. "We still got a tower to trash." She grinned evilly. "I intend to fully repay King Shyres for his…hospitality."

They passed through the castle quickly with little interference. One group of guards tried to halt them; they, along with their comrades, quickly decided to leave them alone. Lina "politely inquired" of one woman the location of the tower, and soon they were at the bottom of a tall, spiraling staircase.

Zelgadis had quickly become impatient, urging his friends to hurry. As they reached the how he immediately chose to bypass the steps.

"Zel, hold up!" Lina shouted as the sorcerer began to levitate away from them. When he ignored her, she cursed. "Damn it! Come on, Gourry." She snagged the swordsman's wrist, following their friend. The blonde protested weakly as the floor left him behind.

"Lina-san, wait!" Sylphiel and Amelia also began to ascend the tower, but the latter paused, realizing one of their members wasn't pursuing as well. "Tanith-san, aren't you coming?"

The Mage was inspecting the tower's interior with a look of dismay. "The walls are too close together," she thought aloud. "I can't make it up."

Amelia floated to her side. "Can't you fly?" she asked anxiously.

Tanith shook her head. "We don't have any Levitation spells--we have wings." She gestured to their surroundings. "There's not enough room for me, and I can't go straight up."

The princess considered that a moment, then smiled. "You'll just have to come with me then." With a bright grin, she took the blonde's wrist, propelling them both into the air.

Zelgadis landed on the ledge before a thick wooden door. He eagerly reached for the handle, his stomach doing flips and his throat constricting. This was it; the spell had to be behind this door. His release, his freedom, his humanity lay just beyond the wooden boundary. For a moment he hesitated, breath held, and in that moment the others joined him.

With a deep breath and the groaning of ancient hinges, the door was opened.

Silence held the group for an eternity, each staring in stunned disbelief. No one wanted to speak or move. Lina lowered her head to keep from seeing the chimera's face.

Gourry finally broke the stillness by peering through the doorway. "Hey." His voice was surprised as he turned to the red-headed sorceress. "It's empty."

"I can't bewieve dis," Lina complained around bits of her chicken lunch. "First, dat damn King diffapears, den we get to dat woom ad deres noffin dere!"

"Lina-san, at lease swallow before you talk," Amelia complained. "We can't understand you."

The sorceress choked, bounding on her chest to get her meal down. "I said," she gasped, "That I'm pissed about losing the King and the spell."

"He was probably lying about having it," Tanith offered idly, fingering her bread without eating any of it. "He spent a lot of time talking with that priest of his before telling Amelia and I that he had it."

Lina glared at the two in annoyance. "You never mentioned that part."

Tanith shrugged, not showing any guilt she might have been feeling. "We figured he was deciding whether to trust us or not."

The group fell into silence again, listening to the sounds of the inn around them. For now, no one seemed to recognize them, and they decided that the King hadn't put out a reward or anything for them yet. It was a welcomed occurrence, one they took full advantage of by eating as much as they could and leaving before the royal guards really came after them. But now they we quiet and sullen, the disappointments of the morning weighing on their minds. The only one immune to the spell was Gourry. He was watching the people, apparently more interested in their conversations than that of his friends.

"Anyway," Lina continued. "We'll have to take off soon if we don't want trouble."

"Where will we go?" Sylphiel asked.

The sorceress considered a moment, glancing at Zelgadis. He had become very withdrawn since leaving the tower at the palace. She was expecting he would offer a suggestion--or speak at all--and finally gave him up as hopeless. "To Atlas City, I suppose." She shrugged. "They got that major Sorcerers Guild there, and it's the biggest city around; chances are we'll find something there."

"Hey Lina?"

She turned. Gourry was staring off into space, and she immediately became annoyed. "If you ask me where we're going," she hissed, "I'll clobber you."

The swordsman blinked, facing the sorceress. "We're leaving?"

"Never mind." Suddenly here eyes sparked, and she leaned forward. "By the way, did any of you hear about a bounty on us?"

This caused even Zelgadis to look up. Amelia cocked her head to the side. "You mean like the one Eris put on you?"

Lina shook her head. "This one's different. It's just on Amelia and me, and I guess whoever's with us."

"Where'd you hear that?" Tanith questioned.

"The priest." Lina moaned, rubbing her temples. "Damnit. That's going to make it so much harder--"

"Lina?"

"Not now, Gourry. I'm complaining." She glared at him a moment before continuing. "Now we don't even have a clue about where to look for the stupid spell."

"Lina?"

"That idiot Leshimier is probably still out there--"

"Lina?"

"I'm stuck with a bunch of stupid, clueless--"

"Lina?"

"Damnit Gourry, what the hell is it?"

The entire room jumped with the sorceress's sudden outburst, customers glancing at her warily before continuing their business. The innkeeper looked ready to approach the group, but apparently thought better of it.

Gourry blinked rapidly, waiting for some physical attack, then straightened when it didn't come. "I, uh, just had a question."

Lina brushed her hair back, changing from demonic to superior in the span of a heartbeat. The rest of the group tried not to meet her eyes directly for fear of bringing out more of her wrath. "Well, Gourry." She glared down at the swordsman. "Go ahead."

"Well, I was just wondering." He pointed across the room. "Do you know what that painting is?"

Lina felt ready to go to bed, but she did look to the piece of art hanging over the bar. It was a strange painting, mostly black, of a young man in dark robes under a solar eclipse….

"I…don't…believe it…."

It was framed in black wood and covered with a thick sheet of glass. A pale man stood in the center of a ring of tall stone pillars, arms stretched above his head, dark cloak swirling in a frozen wind. Shadows flew to become part of a ball within the man's fingers. He seemed to be casting a spell.

And hovering over the event like a watchful god was the sun, its rays shining out from behind the silhouetted moon. Yet the rest of the scene lay in darkness, as if the sun were giving no light at all.

Sylphiel's voice drifted just above the clamor of the inn. "'The Lightless Sun covers and protects the spell…like glass over a painting.'"

All at once Zelgadis was on his feet, Lina not far behind as he raced across the room. Dishes and waitresses tumbled to the floor, the innkeeper yelping and ducking as the two leapt onto the bar. Together they tore the painting off the wall and dropped to the ground. The owner cursed and complained, but they paid no heed as they worked to remove the frame. Lina pried at the glass, finally giving in to frustration and breaking it. The tiny shards chimed as they hit the floor, easily heard since the room had fallen silent.

With trembling fingers, Zelgadis pulled out the painting. The paper was old but far from falling apart, the smell of paint strong to his delicate senses. He slowly turned it over, Lina watching excitedly from his shoulder. By then the others had crowded around, and the rest of the customers returned to their business with curses and grumbles.

"Well?" Amelia asked nervously, unable to take the unreadable expression on the chimera's face. "What does it say?"

Zelgadis licked his lips, not taking his eyes off the paper in his hands. Lina leaned closer, reading the words scrawled on the back. "'For every dark, there is a light. For every day, follows the night. Earth and water, wind and fire, for every need a false desire. Magic too has its dissension. Thus this spell--"

"Shadow Redemption." The chimera spoke the words with awe, eyes shining with a look his friends had never seen before. "This is it," he said, growing more excited, a slow smile spreading across his face. "The counter spell; this is it."

Lina burst out laughing, pounding Zelgadis on the back. "The whole time, it was right here!" She grinned, making a letter "v" with her fingers. "Victory!"

"Just a minute!"

The group turned, startled by the loud voice. The innkeeper stood with his arms crossed, glaring at them angrily. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"We're very sorry, mister," Lina apologized. "But we need this painting."

He glared down at the shorter girl. "It's not for sale," he growled.

"Here." Zelgadis suddenly produced a large bag from within his cloak, giving it to the owner. Several objects clinked as he dropped it into the man's hands. "That should be enough."

The innkeeper scowled but opened the bag anyway. His expression melted into one of shock as he stared at the number of gold coins he now held. "Uh, I, uh…."

"Where did you get all that money?" Lina asked, but she quickly went on. "Never mind, let's just go." She grinned at the owner. "We won't be needing a room tonight after all. Thanks anyway." The sorceress then turned to her companions. "There's a location for the ceremony on the painting. Does anyone care if we leave tonight?"

No one was about to say they'd rather wait, and they quickly gathered their things. Tanith kept sneaking glances as Zelgadis, watching the excitement he was trying so hard to contain. She started to smile, but the gesture didn't last. There was something stirring in the pit of her stomach, something she couldn't yet understand, but it stole the celebration from her heart.

The clearing was an exact replica of the place in the painting. Stone pillars rose from the ground in a circle, looking like the remains of an ancient temple. The air between the trees was thick, shadows hidden in the bright light of mid-day. Zelgadis wandered into the center of the clearing, his eyes wide as he took in the ten foot tall monoliths. The rest of the group stood at a respectful distance, studying their surroundings and smiling at the look on their friend's face.

The site had once been the home to a started Shadow Temple. Pieces of stone walls and foundation lay crumbling in the grass. Only the pillars seemed to have escaped the years of neglect. Due to the poor location--directly in the middle of a troll-inhabited forest with the closest town being days away--the project had been abandoned. In later years, several Priests had traveled to the hard-to-find spot to pray, meditate, or even cast spells. Or, in the case of one of the ranks' more artistic members, to create a painting of one such magic working.

It had taken them three days of travel to reach their destination, partly due to their finding several cart owners willing to let them ride, but mostly because of the chimera's constant inability to stay put. Determination had settled into his features since finding the Lightless Sun. His friends had expected him to become excited and eager, but instead Zelgadis had pulled even further into himself. He was in a world where everyone and everything was an obstacle to his becoming human. Sylphiel and Amelia, unused to such unending travel, became burdens. Trees, inns, even sleep became barriers. Amelia had expressed her concern for the man's well-being to Tanith, hoping the older girl could help their friend or even just offer some comfort.

To Amelia's dismay--as well as that of the others--Tanith was growing just as distant as the chimera. She never complained about the harshness of their journey, only followed in the wake of the others. Eventually it came to the point where she would never offer a word unless asked directly, and even then her responses were limited in length and helpfulness. Lina fought the loss of moral with everything she had, and Amelia quickly supported her mentor.

But now that they were there, all the tensions of the fast days were forgotten. Zelgadis's expression didn't change, but his eyes glowed in anticipation. Once he had surveyed the entire area, he nodded and pulled out the painting.

"Wait Zel," Lina called, hurrying to her friend's side, the others quickly following. "You're not doing this now, are you?"

The chimera blinked. "Why not?"

"Shadow magic take preparation, especially for someone who hasn't exactly been practicing it," she explained, somewhat exasperated. "And a counter spell like this is gonna take a lota power."

"Which, after all this traveling, you don't have," Amelia pointed out.

Zelgadis was very still for several moments, and they wondered if he had even heard their words. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and emotionless. "I've waited four years for this," he said softly, as if that fact would convince them of his urgency.

"Then you can wait for an hour and let us eat," Lina snapped back. For a moment she considered snatching the painting away, then decided she'd rather come out of the whole experience in one piece. "You'll be able to concentrate better with a full stomach, not to mention you'll need the energy."

The chimera sighed, glancing at the stone columns as if they would disappear if he hesitated. "Fine. I'll wait," he relented. "But not for long."

Lina nodded, satisfied, and led the group away from the circle to eat.

Tanith sat silently throughout the meal. Lina encouraged the rest into lively conversation, talking about all the things she wanted to do with the spell. Zelgadis, apparently realizing the truth of his friends' earlier words, began to eat as much as he could steal away from them.

All of a sudden, Tanith stood, swallowing the last of the bread she'd been eating. Everyone paused at the movement and watched her curiously.

"I'm going to go wait in the forest," Tanith announced softly, smiling as though to reassure them.

"What for?" Amelia asked.

"Don't you wanna watch?" Lina added.

"I…don't think it's a good idea…for me," she answered hesitantly. She could feel Zelgadis's eyes on her.

After their night together, Tanith had thought she and the chimera had at the very least become friends, but he had lately seemed oblivious to her existence. The hour they had shared, fingers laced and back to back, now seemed only a memory. His obsession and her growing fear as they approached the ruins had driven them apart. She hadn't spoken to him since they'd left Mabran. It wasn't a situation she was content with, but she didn't feel there was anything she could do about it. But sometimes she remembered his warmth, the care his voice had once held, and she missed it.

Tanith focused on the two girls. "Shadow Redemption is a major spell; it'll probably make me nervous to be around it."

Lina somehow seemed to understand what she was saying. "Because you're a Ruumin, right? And the Shadow Priests are kinda like your natural enemies?"

Tanith sighed. She glanced at the chimera briefly but couldn't meet his eyes. "I don't know exactly how my instincts will react, and I don't want to ruin anything."

The red-head nodded. "Where should we meet you then?"

She gestured south. "There's a stream not too far from here. When you're all done, we can head there to find camp for the night."

"Great," Lina agreed. "We'll see you there soon." She winked, smiling at Zelgadis. "That is, if you recognize us."

The sun was on its way down, just above the tall pines that walled in the clearing. Grass and small weeds didn't rise above a foot or two and were even shorter within the ring of pillars, slipping through the cracks of the forgotten temple. A gentle wind stirred the plants, bringing a soft hum as it blew over the crumbling stones. Despite the movement there was a sense of stillness about the area; the remnants of old magic could almost be felt, the earth seeming to hold its breath as the sorcerer walked into the circle. His shadow stretched out to his left, and for a moment Zelgadis thought it leapt about in excitement.

He reached the center and stopped, letting his eyes drift around the area. What would it look like in a few minutes? Would it change, or would he be so transformed that it would seem different?

Lina and the others were behind him; he could feel their gazes on his back, apprehensive and waiting. For a moment he wondered about Tanith--where she was, what she was doing--but he forced the thoughts aside as he prepared for the task ahead.

He glanced backwards just barely, and nodded.

Lina caught the sign, casting a small spell. The painting in the chimera's hand slowly rose, levitation so he could easily read the words. She had offered to perform this service without having to be asked; Zelgadis would need all the energy he had.

Amelia clasped her hands together, Sylphiel mirroring her from behind. Gourry watched everything with quiet seriousness, for once understanding the importance of the situation. The princess lowered her head in prayer as the chimera raised his arms. "Zelgadis-san…."

He had no thoughts, no last minute wished; this was what he'd been waiting for. There was only determination, hope, and even a bit of fear should his attempts fail. I won't fail, he told himself strongly. I won't. This he repeated to himself as the wind began to pick up. He could almost feel the earth around him tense in anticipation.

"Cold beyond the depths of space, though this soul, bounded and laced." His voice trembled just a bit, the wind becoming strong enough to toss his cape around him. "Darkness deep in eclipse's night, let in my hands gather thy light."

Amelia leaned close to Lina, her eyes still on Zelgadis. "How come that spell rhymes? Does all Shadow magic do that?"

The red-head glared at her. "What the hell kind of question is that?" she half shouted. "This isn't exactly the right time to ask, ya know."

Amelia pulled away, looking slightly wounded. "Well, if you don't know, you can just say so."

Lina would have replied, but her attention was pulled elsewhere; the sky had abruptly blackened into a false night. Despite the lack of light, the shadows had neither fled nor faded. Instead they leapt about in an eerie dance as if trying to escape from the people and objects they were attached to.

Zelgadis took a deep breath, summoning all his power as he recited the rest of the spell.

"What was then will now be through, these ancient magic binds undo. Only chance of curse rejection, Final spell, SHADOW REDEMPTION!!!"

Tanith rested with her back against a tree, watching the grass as it swayed before her. Bits of sunlight filtered down to her through the tall pines and oaks, warming the bare skin of her arms and legs. One hand moved on its own to rub her right ear, her eyes reflecting the worry that the act indicated.

:Troubles, little sister?:

She raised her head, hand lowering, unable to keep a faint smile from her lips as she stared at the air in front of her. The voice hadn't been truly spoken--it existed only in her mind. It had, however, been quite some time since she had "heard" it.

:Two weeks.:

"More than that," she scolded lightly. Then, to her great surprise, a misty figure began to form in a beam of sunlight. After a moment of wavering it solidified into the thin, smiling figure of a Ruumin Mage. Tanith couldn't help a burst of shocked laughter that escaped as she watched in wonder. "Have you grown so strong, clouded brother?"

His head cocked to the side in amusement. :Not I, dearheart,: he answered, surprising her with the familiar term. :You could say that we have grown stronger.:

Tanith was puzzled. "We? I don't understand," she confessed.

:You will, you will,: he assured, sounding as though he wanted to escape the subject. :That will come later. I came to ask you a question.:

She would humor him; if the spirit didn't want to tell, she certainly couldn't drag it out of him. "Ask me what?"

:About your friends, and why you left.:

"I think that should be obvious," she said, clasping her hands around her knees and falling back into her earlier melancholy state. "You know we can't be around that kind of high level magic without trying to stop it."

:Not entirely true,: the Mage corrected softly, his voice indicating that he know she was hiding something. :Only if it harms the earth do we interfere--you know that.: Tanith sighed, and she lowered her eyes. :There's something else, isn't there, little sister.:

"It's stupid, really."

:Tell me anyway.:

"It's just a feeling," she finally answered, waving a hand as if to dismiss the words as not important. "It's just me being uneasy."

The boy came forward. He didn't walk--his feet went right through the grass--but floated, moving his legs as though he could. With all the slow grace of an elf, he crouched beside her. Tanith didn't notice the concerned expression on his blurry face. :I told you before to trust your instincts.: He cocked his head. :Is it about the chimera?:

"I…yes, I believe so." But what "it" was, what was wrong, she couldn't say. It was so hard to sort out her feelings, her emotions mixing with the tension that rose with just the thought of him. "I don't know if it has anything to do with the spell, and I don't want to take the chance that I might be wrong and…."

:Ruin the spell.:

"Yes." Yes, that was it. She was afraid of losing control, of suddenly being Willed to stop him, or even mistake being Willed and destroying his one hope of being human. "If I somehow ruined this for him--for any reason, even with the Will of the Elements--he'd never forgive me. And…I don't want that…."

The spirit hummed thoughtfully. :But there's still something wrong.:

Tanith nodded. "I just get this…premonition about him. Even if the spell works, there's still something that's going to happen. I can't figure out what it is, but there's just something wrong about Zelgadis…."

:I don't just mean that.:

Tanith froze, staring at her clasped hands and white knuckles. Could he feel it? Did he guess what had been bothering her since Rana, since the first mentioning of the Astral Shadow Priests? Her skin grew cold.

:You've been…different lately. What is troubling you?:

I can't tell him. He…couldn't understand. I don't understand it myself….There was a hollowness in her stomach. It had nothing to do with the events going on right now, nothing to do with her traveling companions. And yet…it was all those things. There was something waiting for her, something quiet and still.

Something she had once sought, years ago. Something that she still thought of, now and then. It was the one thing her new friends could never understand, not even Zelgadis, who was so much like her. The ghost…perhaps. But how could she say it aloud? How could she, after all that she'd done, still claim to be a Mage? She didn't deserve that quiet.

And yet it waited for her. It still felt a ways off--as far as the clouds--and every time she tried to focus on it, it escaped her.

"I'm…just afraid," she finally answered, still refusing to meet his gaze. "For Zelgadis, for myself…and then there's the Priests. I know they are a part of this, but I can't figure out how.

"But I know, I know that something soon may go terribly wrong.

Zelgadis stared with fearful awe as the shadow leapt from their owners of gather in his raised hands. Clouds had accumulated with an incredible speed and now completely blocked out the sun. His cape flapped about him madly, his hair slapped against his ear and face, and his stomach turned as the swelling of energy reached its peak.

The sphere within his fingers crackled with power. Black lightening leapt from the fall, striking and holding against the surrounding pillars. As each "arm" of magic found an anchor, he could feel the energy lever rise until it seemed he would burst from trying to control it all.

Lina, Amelia, Sylphiel, and Gourry watched the scene with varying amounts of wonder, respect, and fear. Not even the red-head could repress a start when the energy of the gathered shadows shot into the pillar she stood besides. They all quickly retreated several steps.

Then, above the roar of the wind and snapping of magic, Lina caught a sound she knew very well--rocks crumbling. After all the castles, fortresses, temples, and hideouts she had witnessed the destruction of--most of which she had caused--the almost inaudible disintegration and what it might mean was not a welcome one.

Something's wrong. Zelgadis winced, suddenly feeling slightly unbalanced. The powers at his back wavered, and he turned just enough to see what was happening.

His heart froze.

Something tugged on her right arm. Lina glanced down at the princess, pulled from her thoughts. The younger girl was pointing off to her left, her expression concerned but not as worried as it should have been.

"Lina-san! The pillar--it's falling!"

She knew, even before she turned to confirm with her eyes what her ears had already heard. The entire stone was trembling, its weathered top and foundation releasing bits of rock to clatter against the ground.

Amelia, apparently displeased with her elder's lack of action, decided she would save the column on her own. Lina was able to break out of her trance just in time to pull the girl away. "What are you doing?" she questioned over the wind.

"Me?" The princess was plainly shocked. "Lina-san, if I don't--"

"That thing will fry you in a second!" the sorceress shouted, snagging the girl by her collar so she could better understand the gravity of the mistake she had almost made. "The spell undoes magic, and you couldn't stop that stone without it! Don't you get that it would shred you in a second?"

There was a strained groan from behind them, and both girls faced the pillar. Lina gasped, blinking rapidly. "Zel, what are you--"

"Stay back!" the chimera warned, eyes closed in concentration. In one hand he held the spell, the tendrils of energy still connected to the other columns. With the other he steadied the one in danger of collapse, his expression strained with both tasks.

"But Zel, the spell--"

He opened one hard, determined eye that answered her before he spoke. "I'm going to finish this! Stay back!"

Lina knew he couldn't hold the heavy stone by himself, not while trying to cast an extremely difficult spell, but she wasn't given the time to argue. The sphere abruptly flashed, filling the clearing with a light so intense they were blinded. Lina staggered back, still holding Amelia's collar. Faintly, she could hear Sylphiel's surprised shriek.

Then came the explosion.

Zelgadis nearly dropped both the shadow ball and the pillar when the light flashed, especially when he felt what was happening. The spell began to pull every bit of energy he had left, completely draining him of any resources he might have had.

The power burst from his hand, striking the stone columns. He could feel it grow, strengthen, knowing this was the climax. The energy then came shooting back at him, every pillar exploding with the release as the magic struck him from all sides.

He screamed.

It was painful, more than it should have been; every stone was being ripped from his body, leaving no part of him without agony. Then his skin was melting, and he could feel every change that was taking place within him. The lights flashing behind his eyes almost seemed to dull, the sound of the wind and his own screams draining away. But at the same time he felt as though he was being release, as though he was coming out of a prison he'd never known he had been in. It was terrible, incredible, frightening, and wonderful.

As the pain began to ebb, the spell completing, he had the feeling that something was still not right. His skin still felt like it wasn't there, the holes made by the stones still gaping and bleeding. Darkness began to surround him--he was falling.

But it's not over, his mind protested. It didn't finish; I'm not human yet. He struggled to find some bit of energy to complete the spell, but he was utterly spent.

A strong force took hold of him, and then another. They pulled him in different directions, as if trying to wring the life out of him. Zelgadis found he couldn't fight them--he had nothing left. The forces continued in their tug-of-war until the sorcerer felt something within himself tear. The pain was far beyond that of his unfinished physical body. It reached down to the core of his being, shredding everything in its path.

I failed….I wasn't strong enough…not….

He fell into silence.

A wave of released energy swept over Tanith, causing every nerve to cringe and her head to pound. However, it passed quickly. She raised her eyes, looking to the sky as if she could see the outcome.

Shadow Redemption

Chapter 5: Snake! Leshimier's Return

Zelgadis awoke slowly, every part of him complaining at the lack of rest--he was exhausted in every sense of the word. It was all he could do to even open his eyes, blinking in the light of the setting sun.

"Zel? Zelgadis? Are you okay?"

"Zelgadis-san?"

"Can you hear us?"

The voices blurred, sounding strangely distant. What was wrong with his ears? Even when asleep he was always dimly aware of his surroundings. And why was it taking so long to sort out the shadow hovering over him? With a moan and no small amount of energy he raised a hand, rubbing at his eyes, hoping they'd clear.

"Zel? Hey Zel, you awake?"

He removed his hand, his sight confirming what his ears already knew. "Lina?"

She grinned, and her fist impacted lightly against his shoulder. It felt harder than it should have. "Finally. We were starting to think you'd be out for good."

He was so tired that he wished he was out for good. But his strength gradually began to return, and he was able to sit up. They were still in the clearing, only now the stone pillars were gone, and the sun was carefully slipping below the line of trees. He looked to his friends, about to speak, but he paused when he saw their faces. Their expressions were various degrees of surprise and delight. They can't be this happy to see me. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Amelia practically exploded. "Zelgadis-san, you did it!" she cried, jumping up and down. "This is so great!"

He blinked in confusion. "Did…it?"

Lina was kneeling beside him, her expression one of uncensored pride and happiness for her friend. "Zel," she said softly, almost gently. "You did it. Shadow Redemption worked.

"You're human."

It took the words a long time to penetrate his shock. Trembling fingers explored his face, searching for the familiar patches of stone and leather, unnatural skin. Instead he only encountered warm, soft flesh. He stared blankly at his hands, amazed at their color. He looked back to the red-head, still having trouble believing. "I'm…I'm really human?"

She nodded, and the cheering of the rest of his friends enforced the affirmation.

All at once his emotions swelled in a joyous wave that sent him bounding to his feet. Laughter, a sound that had been all but banned from his throat, burst forth without reservation. He spun in circles, arms raised to the sky. "I'm human!!!" he cried, shouting to the clouds as if to reach the heavens. "Do you hear me Rezo? I'm human!!!"

Amelia cheered, and to her surprise was swept off her feet. Zelgadis swung her in a circle, then dropped her to repeat the act with Lina. The sorceress, however, wasn't that overjoyed, and she promptly escaped. Undaunted, he continued his celebration.

Finally, Lina had enough with his excessive silliness. "Zelgadis, will you please calm down! You're making me dizzy."

To her relief the man did stop, but there was nothing that could erase the broad smile that seemed to cover his entire face. All the years of hardships and searching were instantly forgotten; for once, he could be a normal, human man.

Lina forced her expression to be stern, even though she was having a difficult time not returning her friend's excitement; of everyone in the group, she alone was perhaps the only one who knew just how much he had wanted this. It didn't even bother her that the painting had disappeared at some point during the spell.

"Okay, we're all happy for you," she said in a lecturing tone. "But Tanith is going to be waiting, and personally I could use some dinner."

"Dinner sounds delightful. I'll be glad to have some."

The group whirled, Lina already recognizing the voice before the bald man revealed himself. "Leshimier!"

The chimera grinned as he sauntered from the trees, blade dangling at his side, the snakes of his left arm snapping in anticipation with the mention of food. He bowed as the five turned to face him. "You really expected me to be gone for good, my dear Lina Inverse?" His eyes met hers. "You should really have more faith in me."

The sorceress crossed her arms. "Actually, my dear Leshimier," she replied coolly, "I expected you to be cowering beneath a rock after what we did to your precious Kraias."

His smile vanished, turning into a dark sneer. "I have paybacksss to collect for him," he growled, the hiss in his speech becoming more pronounced. He slid into a ready position. "I will give him hisss revenge."

Lina grinned tauntingly, waving him forward. "Take it, then. If you can."

Leshimier hissed violently. With eyes blazing and demons screaming, he charged. The group immediately scattered, Lina and Amelia countering just after. The chimera easily dodged, letting his demon arm attempt to reach them. He paused as they came up short.

He glared at the five with a red-tinted gaze. The snakes snapped as he surveyed each of them. Finally he locked eyes with Zelgadis, and his anger melted into confusion. "Where'd you come from?"

Zelgadis smirked, sword held tightly in two hands. He didn't say anything, only met the chimera glare for glare.

"You're…." Leshimier squinted, blinking as his senses confirmed what his eyes couldn't believe. "You're that chimera!"

"Was," he corrected, grinning. "I was that chimera. Now I'm human again."

The demons abruptly went quiet, hissing softly as if talking to each other. Leshimier's expression was almost comical, lost between shock, confusion, and a look that seemed to be regarding his opponent as insane. "Why?"

Zelgadis nearly choked on his laughter. "Why? What do you mean 'why?'" He shook his head, sharing a glance with Lina.

The chimera studied the sorcerer carefully, amusement creeping into his eyes. "I mean, why would you want to be human?" As Zelgadis sought an answer, he continued. "Who would give up such a gift?"

"A--a gift?" he spat, completely lost, looking to his friends, but not even Lina understood their opponent's words.

Leshimier laughed, the demons dancing wildly around each other. "How stupid!" he cried, one hand against his stomach as if it pained him. "How stupid can you be? Giving up all that power; what's wrong with you? I am hundreds of times more powerful that I was as a human. I wouldn't go back to it if you paid me!"

"Well, I'm glad you changed," Lina retorted as he continued in his hysterics, watching as her friend slowly reached his boiling point. She grinned darkly at the chimera as his attention shifted to her. "Otherwise, you'd be too weak to even bother with; I'd be insulted."

Leshimier bowed, stance slipping back into on of battle. "I wouldn't dream of insssulting the amazzzing Lina Inverssse," he said, his sarcasm lengthening his s's again. "I hope I won't disssappoint you."

Lina answered the unspoken challenge, the rest following her into readied stances. The sorceress grinned. "The only disappointment would be you running away again."

He smiled. "That won't happen thisss time, I asssure you," he hissed.

Zelgadis leaned against a tree, breathing heavily while trying to conceal his weariness. The battle went on without him. Sylphiel shielded the group against any spell she could get to in time, Gourry continued to strike at the demons after having severed off one slow serpent, and Amelia and Lina threw whatever spells they thought were fast enough to catch the chimera. They were at a stalemate--they simply couldn't cause any significant damage to the other. Zelgadis had been forced to pause and was silently cursing his own weakness.

What's wrong with me? Why is this battle taking so much of my energy? I wasn't this weak before Rezo changed me….The strength, the speed--they were all lost to him now. Every spell seemed to drain him, and he couldn't recover as fast as he used to.

I'm not recovering at all, he finally admitted to himself. I'm as tired now as when I stopped, just not as winded.

Leshimier suddenly caught Gourry off guard with a Freeze Arrow near the swordsman's foot, cementing him to the ground. Lina was there before the chimera had a chance to act on the helpless man, Amelia and Sylphiel backing the red-head a moment after.

Zelgadis left the tree, moving quickly behind their opponent, and struck with a Fireball. Leshimier immediately abandoned the trio as they tried to release Gourry. He grinned when he saw who it was. "Well, pathetic little human, come to finally join usss?"

"My name is Zelgadis," he answered, sword held ready in one hand. "A freak like you can not insult me."

Leshimier chuckled, amused. "Better a freak that sssome foolisssh weakling," he responded easily. His stance was casual, and he waved a taunting hand. "Come then, and letsss sssee who isss the ssstronger."

The sorcerer was not fooled by the relaxed appearance and gripped his weapon tighter. He'll attack with those snakes. How can I get them all at once?

The idea came quickly, and he cursed himself for not thinking of his sooner. Just behind the chimera, Gourry was almost free, Lina casting him a glance as if to say "keep it up." He nodded to her slightly before focusing on his enemy. With as much speed as he could muster, he charged.

Leshimier grinned, the demons shrieking as they rushed to meet the sorcerer. Zelgadis slid his sword into its sheath and readied a spell, catching the surprise on the chimera's face. He threw his hands before him as the chant was completed.

"Van REHL!!!"

The icy, spiderweb-like lattice appeared, forming a silvery wall between himself and the demons. Zelgadis enjoyed a thrill of satisfaction at seeing Leshimier's shock as he tried to pull back his doomed limb. The snakes ignored their master, racing headlong into the shield.

Then, to the horror of those watching, the barrier fell apart.

Sharp fangs crushed the ice, a sound like breaking glass mixing with the creatures' delighted cries. Lina shouted a warning, reading a hand as if to stop the demons herself.

Zelgadis was too shocked to utter even a cry of pain, watching with widened eyes as a dozen sets of teeth bit into his skin. His body shuddered even as his mind refused to feel the blood that slowly began to seep into his clothes. Leshimier grinned, raising his blade as the demons dragged their frozen captive forward.

"Flare ARROW!!!"

Leshimier cried out as the fire spell burned across his side. Before he could face the red-head, Gourry leapt into view, slicing four serpents in half. Instantly the rest released their victim, the chimera retreating a ways. Zelgadis collapsed soundlessly to the ground.

"You bastard," Lina growled, stalking towards the chimera as he continued to back away. Her eyes blazed, power glowing around her closed fists. "A Dragon Slave isn't good enough for you."

Leshimier's lips trembled, mumbled words spilling as he faltered under her harsh glare. His arm had rewound itself, and the limb shuddered terrible as pale blood dripped from the severed parts.

Lina raised her hands above her head. Her anger was greater than any time she could remember, her hatred of this man surpassing even the loathing she'd had for Rezo. On the edges of her senses she could hear the labored breathing of her fallen friend, a sound that only doubled her rage. "He just became human, you damned bastard. I won't let you ruin it for him." She had no specific spell in mind, only the desire to destroy the chimera as painfully as possible.

Leshimier retreated further, still mumbling as he clutched at his injured limb. Just as Lina looked ready to send him to some terrible hell, his voice rose over the howl of her power.

"Let Your roar burn my enemy to ashes." Leshimier leaped to his feet, raising a hand to the sorceress. Her expression darkened as she forfeited her own spell as she tired to escape. "Everyone, watch out!"

"GAAV FLARE!!!"

Tanith jumped to her feet, gaze swinging to face the northern sky. The energy of the Black magic spell sent shivers up and down her arms, a chill running through her and settling in her stomach as a large, frozen lump.

The blast shook the ground beneath her. Before the earth could even stop its trembling she was off, sprinting as fast as she could through the forest.

Lina moaned, slowly pushing herself to her knees. Gourry was at her side, asking her if she was all right as he nursed a sprained wrist. "I'm fine," she muttered, rubbing her throbbing temple. Amelia was doing the same a ways away, wincing and gripping her shoulder. "Is everyone oka--"

"Lina-san! Come quick--Zelgadis-san is hurt!"

She was on her feet in an instant, searching the charred clearing quickly before spotting Sylphiel near the edge. Beside her, sprawled across the ground, lay the former chimera.

And he wasn't moving.

Lina knelt next to her friend. His eyes were barely open, his breath shallow and rasping. He was a bit singed but had no serious burns. The multiple bites, luckily, weren't that big. However, there were many of them, and Zelgadis seemed a bit more dazed than his body indicated he should have been. She quickly began casting a healing spell as the priestess tried to stutter an explanation. "I t-tried to protect him, Lina-san," she half sobbed, half wailed. "B-but the spell w-was t-to strong! I c-couldn't reach him!"

"Shut up already?" the sorceress snapped, her hands glowing as they hovered over her friend's chest. She cursed as his skin grew pale and his eyes closed. "It's too late now to complain. Just help me heal him!"

Sylphiel was quick to follow the orders, blinking back tears. Amelia joined them a moment later, despite the pain in her bruised shoulder.

A few minutes later Lina felt close to panicking. For some reason, Zelgadis's wounds refused to heal, and the three girls were quickly running out of energy. "Damn it, what the hell's going on?" the red-head cursed, fear and frustration mixing in her voice. "Why isn't this working?"

"Lina-san," Amelia called weakly. She was leaning against a nearby tree, too spent to continue. "We should find Tanith-san. She might…."

As if summoned by her words, the Ruumin Mage suddenly burst into the clearing. Lina, tired as she was, couldn't hide her relief as she called the blonde over. Her head was still throbbing painfully, and none of them were in any shape to handle any kind of attack. If Leshimier chose to come back….

"What happened?" Tanith hurried to where the others were seated, and she was visibly startled by the terrible condition they were all in: Amelia was barely conscious, Gourry cradled a badly swollen wrist, and Lina and Sylphiel looked ready to collapse, their faces pale and drawn. "Are you all--"

She froze, finally spotting Zelgadis.

"Shadow Redemption worked," Lina explained, hands shaking as she and the priestess continued to pour their energy into their friend. "Leshimier attacked us, but Zel was too weak to fight him." Her throat clamped painfully, trying desperately to stay in control of the situation and her emotions. "Then he caught us off guard with a Gaav Flare, and none of our spells are working, damn it!" she at last exploded.

Tanith quickly knelt at the man's head. Lina watched her expression carefully, hopes faltering at the distress on her face. She knew the Mage was seeing something she herself could not, and whatever it was, it was not good. "Tanith? Can you…" she started softly. "Can you help--"

"I know you're all tired," she interrupted as her face hardened. "But please, keep going for a while."

"But it's not working!" Lina protested. She was slowly losing that thin barrier of control. Zelgadis was one of the closest friends she'd ever had. If something wasn't done soon…and he kept bleeding….

"Trust me." Tanith placed her hands on either side of the man's head, fixing her eyes on Lina for half a second. Her gaze told the sorceress the truth before she could voice it.

"Right now, you're the only ones keeping him alive."

She hadn't expected this.

Even if Leshimier had attacked, he couldn't have done this much damage.

How could this have happened? How could it get this bad? Why did Lina do something? Why can't they wee what's wrong?

What happened?

But no answers to her questions would help now--Tanith knew that, even if Lina and the others did not. Now was not the time to hesitate, because Zelgadis was dying.

She could see it as soon as she had laid eyes on him, could See the damage done that Lina couldn't. It was a wonder he had survived long enough for her to get there.

It would be a wonder if he still survived.

In a sense, he was bleeding to death. Not physically, though--the wound was on a purely astral level. Shadow Redemption, the counter spell….Zelgadis wasn't able to finish it. It separated the human, demon, and golem parts, but their spirits were still connected. His soul has been ripped in three and is bleeding. But how could she seal it? How could she mend a broken bond of the soul?

I have to try, she told herself strongly. If only enough to buy us some time for a real solution.

"Tanith? Can you….Can you help--"

"I know you're all tired. But please, keep going for a while."

"But it's not working!"

"Trust me. Right now, you're the only ones keeping him alive." Tanith closed her eyes, fingers tingling at the cool softness of the unconscious man's skin. With her sight blocked, she was able to See better.

In the darkness behind her eyelids glowed a human outline, one slightly different and much fainter than it should have been. The rainbow light of Shaman magic could barely be seen now. His life force was weak and fading, and Tanith opened her view "wider" to better See the cause.

It was like two veins trailing away from his body, both torn in a way that made Tanith wince. The wounds were huge--not surprising, considering how tightly Zelgadis must have been bonded to his former parts. From this wider perspective she was also able to See the combined energies of Lina and Sylphiel flowing into him. Only to be lost, she noted sadly. There's only one way to solve this….

With a deep sigh and a firm gathering of courage, Tanith opened her view so she could See her own glowing self as well. She reached out a bright spiritual "hand," grasping one of the four trailing veins from her own body.

It had been years since her own wounds had been dealt, and she still didn't know how she had survived the loss. However, now was not the time to wonder about such miracle gifts--or curses--as the restoration of her own life. Forcing away all memories, Tanith studied the severed end and the astral "seal" that had kept her alive.

It's too complicated, she decided, turning back to the former chimera. And it would take more energy than I have. But I can probably manage a sort of "bandage" for now. It's all there is.

With great care she wove a net of astral energy with her spirit hands, using her own power to seal it to the vein. For one tense moment she watched to see if it would hold.

It did.

Without pause to congratulate herself, Tanith quickly wove a second cap and set it in place. It held, and the Mage sighed as the healing energy of the other two girls began to restore Zelgadis's weakened life force. Then, despite how exhausted she was after using so much power, Tanith cast her own spell to aid the other.

When she finally opened her eyes, Zelgadis was sleeping peacefully, and Sylphiel and Lina were watching his healed form with relief. "It worked," the former whispered, looking ready to sleep herself.

"Is anyone else hurt?" Tanith asked, already moving towards Amelia and Gourry.

"They are," Lina answered, still watching her sleeping friend. "If you can take care of them, I'll do something about a fire and food." She raised her eyes to meet Tanith's. "I want to talk to you later about what happened."

She nodded agreement. "After everyone's okay, though."

Lina repeated the gesture. "Sure. Okay."

For once, there was no snoring as several of the group members slept. Amelia and Gourry's bruises had been healed, and they, along with Zelgadis and Sylphiel, sought to replenish their depleted powers in their dreams.

Lina and Tanith, however, found no such rest. The elf tried her best to explain what she'd seen with her True Sight and what she'd done to fix it. When she finished, Lina sighed and rubbed her eyes. "So the whole of it is," she summarized, "Zelgadis's spiritual body was torn in three and didn't heal. You were able to stop the 'bleeding,' but it's only a temporary solution, and we have to find something better." Tanith nodded gravely. The sorceress moaned, dragging her hands down her face in a gesture of frustration. She fell silent for several moments before raising her gaze to the Mage. "How long?" she asked softly, fearing the answer.

"I'm not sure," Tanith admitted truthfully. "Days, weeks…maybe months."

"Shit…." Lina kicked her heal into the dirt. "How could this have happened?"

Tanith shook her head. "It should have, as far as I can tell. Maybe he wasn't strong enough to finish it. But these wounds couldn't have been caused by just the taking out of his demon and golem parts--they're too big, for one thing." She looked down at the man in question. "If I had some more time…maybe I could figure out what happened…."

Lina nodded. "He'll be okay for awhile, right?" Tanith silently affirmed. "Then we won't tell him what's happened."

Tanith blinked, finally meeting Lina's eyes. She couldn't keep the surprise from her face. "Not tell….But shouldn't we?"

Lina's expression was unreadable. "He just got back the one thing he's ever wanted--as far as I know, at least." Her gaze drifted to their sleeping friend. "If we can find out what happened and fix it….I'd rather do that than ruin this for him. If he knew, he'd just get all independent on us again."

"We can't let that happen," Tanith reluctantly agreed. "The way he is now, he couldn't handle any kind of major fight." I still don't like not telling him, though, she thought silently. She sighed. But if Lina thinks it's for the best…I just I'll just have to go with her. "Okay," she said aloud. "We won't tell him, unless it's necessary."

Lina nodded. "Unless it's necessary," she echoed. A smile worked its way onto her lips. "And in the mean time, we let him enjoy being human while we find a way to keep him like this."

Tanith glanced at Zelgadis, watching him sleep. For the first time in her memory, he looked peaceful, content. Any trace of pain was gone from his expression. He looked like a child, all the heavy burdens of may hurtful years having been suddenly lifted. And lifted with that pain--to Tanith's surprise and slight disappointment--was that aura that had alternately drawn her and caused her to fear him. Instinct was now silent--he was no longer her enemy. But now, somehow, he'd lost some part of the beauty she'd seen in him.

That's not fair, she admonished herself, feeling ashamed for even thinking he was now less that what he'd been. Just because his face has changed doesn't mean his personality has, too. Sure he was…before, but he's just as handsome now. And you liked him for his quietness, his caring.

But, now that he's human, he may not bother with you anymore, some part of her spoke up. Tanith was surprised by the thought, for he'd never given an indication of her meaning anything more than a traveling companion to him. Even if she felt…differently, she certainly hadn't made any such feelings clear to him.

I'm tired, she finally reasoned. I'm not thinking straight. It's been a long day, and I've used up a lot of energy. Better to sleep now and figure it out in the morning.

Tanith settled herself on the ground beside the already slumbering sorceress. Tired had been an understatement; she was exhausted, and sleep came upon her quickly.

Just before she fell into the waiting darkness, she wished she would dream and get to speak to her clouded adviser. He would probably be able to tell her what to do.

Shadow Redemption

Chapter 6: Break! Falling Apart

"So then the guy says, 'What? You mean I slept through it?'"

"That's terrible!"

"That didn't happen! It couldn't have."

"It's true, I swear! The guy who told it to me said his friend's cousin's husband really did that."

"Really!"

"It's still not funny."

"Then why are you laughing?"

The girls burst into giggles, covering their mouths. A particularly brave one went so far as to lean briefly against the man they surrounded, batting her eyes at him. "Zelgadis-san, really. That is a terrible story to be telling a bunch of ladies like us."

Zelgadis grinned. "My apologies then, dear lady." He carefully took the girl's hand, bowing over it and raising a suggestive eyebrow at another. "I was merely hoping that such a charming tale would convince such fine ladies as yourselves to stay for another drink."

The first girl retrieved her hand, swatting at his playfully. "Only it you are paying, Zelgadis-san."

"Of course."

The former chimera cheerfully ordered another round of drinks for the women keeping him company. Across the room, several figures glared at him, but--whether he know of their existence or not--he ignored them. One stuck out her tongue, her middle finger, but all her efforts were wasted; Zelgadis was too busy.

The tavern was filled. It seemed that all of the people in the city of Jern were there and celebrating. A minstrel and his dancing partner had taken a place in one corner, and they were soon joined by several other enthusiastic couples. Several loud drunken card games were being played away from the more physical party-goers, and the waitresses bustled about trying to serve them all. The rest of common room's inhabitants held their own gatherings at the circular tables or the long bar. The latter was where most of the single female crowd was congregating, listening intently to the handsome young traveler's many tales.

But back in the furthest corner of the room, one table was not interested in the festivities.

"That bastard," Lina growled, slumping back into her chair. "Who does he think he is? This is the third night in a row, for heaven's sake!"

"At least he's enjoying himself," Amelia spoke up meekly. Her face, however, showed she was just as upset as the sorceress.

Lina started to reply, then halted herself. She and Tanith had kept the secret of Zelgadis's condition away from their friends, something that hadn't come as easy to the red-head as she had first thought. And there had been many times she had wanted to blurt out--to Zelgadis in particular--about the seriousness of their new journey.

"Hey Lina." Gourry leaned closer to be heard over the noise of the large room. "Where's Tanith?"

"Out. She'll be back soon." Hopefully with information on how to help Zel, she added silently.

Jern was by no means a sorcerer's town; a church was the only source of magical information. Tanith had devoted her afternoons to scouring the dusty volumes of the library, hoping to find any clue. Lina had offered to help, but they finally decided it would be best for her to stay with the group. This proved to be a good idea, since Amelia, Sylphiel, and Gourry needed to be kept distracted.

Not to mention keeping Zelgadis from wandering off with some group of overly-friendly females.

"Why is Zelgadis-san spending so much time on those girls?" Sylphiel finally spoke up.

"You mean, why is he spending so much of our money," Amelia corrected, even though she wanted an answer to the priestess's question more than the older girl herself did.

Lina glared at her friend as he raised his glass in a toast. "Just making up for lost time," she muttered, barely loud enough for the others to hear.

The door to the tavern opened, a cool breeze sweeping through the crowd. Several of the customers glanced up, then took a second look as the young blonde entered. She ignored the stares and invitations, making her way wearily to the far corner. "Hey." Tanith lowered herself into one of the empty chairs, rubbing her eyes.

"Find anything?" Lina asked casually. Inwardly she noted the weariness in the girl's movements and expression, seeing the results of three days of endless reading and searching. But more than that was the distance in the elf's eyes. She had been pulling away from them ever since they'd left Rana. Lina guessed it had something to do with the Shadow Priests, but she couldn't figure out anything else besides that. Worry about that later--she'll be fine. Zel needs us more right now.

Tanith met her gaze, and the look alone was enough of an answer. She leaned across the table, taking a tall glass of water that--miraculously--hadn't been devoured with the rest of the food. She quickly remedied that, managing a faint, forced smile for the other group members. When she was done, she glanced over her shoulder towards the bar. "Is Zelgadis still at it?"

Lina watched Tanith carefully. "Yeah, the bastard. Seems he's forgotten who his friends are." The girl nodded absently, not quite hearing the response with the answer so obvious. The sorceress ground her teeth, barely able to read the expression on the blonde's face. It was an emotion she was familiar with, having traveled so much and seen so many situations. She knew that hurt, slightly betrayed look, had even felt the same at times. The really frustrating part was that it was the most emotion Tanith had shown in days, but somehow Zelgadis didn't even notice. And here Lina had thought the two had actually been getting close. I can't stand them. They would be so good for each other, but they're not doing anything about it! How can they both be so dense!

She ordered more food.

Nearly an hour later, Zelgadis waved good-bye to his companions, promising to meet them the next evening. They let him go reluctantly, swearing terrible vengeance if he didn't keep his word. Still chuckling to himself, he strode across the room to the corner table, flopping into a chair with a content sigh. "Hey guys," he greeted casually, blank gaze showing his thoughts were elsewhere. "Nice party, huh?"

Lina snorted, crossing her arms and turning away. "Yeah. Swell."

Her harsh tone brought the sorcerer's attention back from its wandering. He stared at the red-head curiously. "What's the matter?" Lina didn't answer, so he turned to the others.

Amelia refused to meet his gaze, staring across as if the drunken men dancing there were completely fascinating. Her eyes, however, glinted in the light with a look of hurt. Sylphiel kept glancing between Zelgadis and her folded hands before finally settling on Lina. Tanith seemed to be ignoring them all, focused on her meal. Gourry took it all in, apparently as confused as the former chimera, and offered his friend a sympathetic shrug.

"Lina," Zelgadis finally petitioned, "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all," she answered sharply. The sorceress abruptly faced him, eyes hard even as her tone was fighting to be neutral. "At least, there's nothing wrong with us."

Zelgadis blinked but wasn't angry. That seemed to upset Lina even more. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

"Did you enjoy your little fan club over there?" she retorted.

"Is that what this is about?" He laughed, sliding out of his chair to stand behind the red-head. He set his hands on her shoulders, bending down close to her ear. "You know, Lina, if you're jealous you should say so. I have plenty of time for everyone."

"Oh, get over yourself!" she snapped, and shoved him back towards his seat. He fell into it laughing. "Stop it, Zelgadis! I'm not joking, and neither is anyone else!"

Zelgadis managed to calm down, looking over the group again. The reserved, closed gazes sobered him completely as he realized they were being serious.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lina asked, her town lowered but still hard. She leaned closer to him with flashing eyes. "You've been acting strange ever since we got here."

Zelgadis was genuinely puzzled. "Wha'da'ya mean me? You're the ones acting weird." He crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. "What's up with you all?"

"Listen to yourself! 'What's up?' You never talk like that!" Lina turned to her companions, Amelia and Sylphiel nodding their agreement. "You've been acting stranger and stranger ever since five days ago."

His expression grew icy. "Since I became human, you mean," he stated plainly.

"Yes," the sorceress answered bluntly, crossing her own arms to mirror his posture. She was treading dangerous ground--could tell in the way the man's eyes narrowed--but she was tired of being silent in her complaints. "Since you've become human you've been acting like a fool. You've been strutting around this town like it's yours. And those girls!" She threw her hands up in disgust. "They're witless, but I still can't figure out what they see in you."

Zelgadis leapt to his feet, fists impacting loudly against the table. "Obviously more than you see!"

Lina followed him a second later. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean," he answered coolly, "That you don't know me as well as we both thought."

"Ha!" The sorceress ground her knuckles into her hips, glaring down her nose at him. "I know just fine who you are, and this isn't it."

Zelgadis grinned, but it was an expression filled with scorn. "You know the chimera. You don't know me, Zelgadis. This is how I act, this is who I am. This is the me before I was a freak, a monster." He started to turn away as if to head up the stairs.

"Well, I don't like this Zelgadis."

He spun on her so fast that everyone jumped. Amelia and Sylphiel winced at his dagger stare, expecting an assault at any moment.

But instead of shouting at the sorceress as he normally would have, Zelgadis only glared. The sounds of the full tavern faded into the distance, the air around the corner table so thick with tension that even the waitresses decided to leave the dishes until later. Lina, with her hands at her sides, met his eyes glare for glare. "In fact, I like the old Zel better. At least then you had some sense."

His eyes burned like some predator locking on a new prey. Still he didn't speak, his pale human skin slowly growing red with rage. His gaze then swept across the others. Sylphiel was hunched in her chair, but both she and Gourry were nodding slowly. Amelia was watching Lina with shock, but her agreement was clear. Tanith's own eyes were closed, hands clasped easily on the table. She seemed oblivious to the argument.

For some reason, that upset Zelgadis even more. Why wasn't she defending him? She knew how terrible demons were. She knew how hard it was to not be human. She was the one who told him about the spell in the first place! She should be helping him, not sitting there as if she didn't care!

Maybe she doesn't, he realized. She hadn't, after all, been around since they'd arrived in Jern. And the two of them had never been that close--

Except after fighting Leshimier the first time. Except for the king's cell.

--so why should she care about him?

He straightened, focusing back on Lina. "I'm sorry you don't like the real me," he said coldly. "I guess we weren't as good of friends as I thought."

She was stubborn, even as Amelia and Sylphiel looked ready to protest. She answered before they could. "I guess you're right."

Zelgadis nodded, having expected such a reply. Without another word he turned away, heading for the door. He didn't need to say good-bye; it was clear by the way he walked that they wouldn't be seeing him again.

Once his figure was out of sight and definitely gone, Lina sunk down into her chair, resting her head on her hand. "That didn't go as well as I would have liked," she murmured.

"Lina-san, why?" Amelia stood, staring down at her elder. "Why did you say those things to him? Why'd you have to be so mean?"

The sorceress refused to meet anyone's eyes. "He doesn't listen to anything he doesn't want to hear," she stated emotionlessly.

"That's no excuse! You've never been so hard on him and been serious! Now he's gone, and we can't even apologize!" Amelia spun in a circle, torn between arguing with the red-head and racing after the sorcerer. "How could you, Lina-san? Even if his was acting like a fool, why'd you have to go and ruin his fun and--"

Lina leapt to her feet so quickly that Amelia fell back into her chair. Her brown eyes blazed with an emotion that none of them could read. Her voice was so loud that other customers near her flinched and glanced at her warily.

"Because he's dying, Amelia! He's acting like a child and doesn't even realize that he could be dead tomorrow!"

Gourry blinked in surprise, for once understanding the seriousness of the conversation. Sylphiel covered her mouth as the princess stuttered on a reply. Both girls looked to Tanith. The Mage nodded slowly, her eyes still closed. "Something went wrong with the spell," she said softly. "He's dying."

"He's…he's dying…?" Amelia repeated, sounding as though she was trying to deny the words.

"Yes," Lina answered, returning to her seat. "We've been trying to figure out what happened, and if there's a cure."

Sylphiel finally spoke up. "Does Zelgadis-san know that he's…."

"No." Tanith slowly rose to her feet. She finally opened her eyes, meeting Lina's gaze. "But I think it's time he did."

The sorceress nodded, standing as well. She began to head for the stares; she knew she wasn't the right one for this mission. Before she left, however, she paused beside the elf. Her voice was low for the blonde's ears alone. "I'm leaving it up to you."

Tanith silently assured her understanding, knowing it was more than "I'm leaving it up to you." It was "I'm depending on you to bring our friend back." Lina then left, and Amelia and the others followed to get an explanation and talk about a solution.

Tanith slipped out of the town, and as the city lights faded, the darkness surrounded her, leaving her with a cold premonition.

Zelgadis paced angrily, scowling at the ground. His heavy footsteps could barely be heard above his rasping breath and pounding heart. His thoughts were a jumbled mess that could not be understood, save several curses aimed at his former friends.

Eventually he had to stop his pacing--he was exhausted. That brought out a whole new round of foul words concerning his body's weakness. Damn it, something's not right. I was never this weak. He growled, fists clenched so tight that his nails dug painfully into his palms. If Lina and Tanith and the others weren't acting like such bitches I could ask them.

That thought was crushed violently. Never again. I'll never ask for their help again. They don't understand anything.

As if called by his thoughts, a figure appeared at the corner of his sight. Even without his demon senses he knew who it was, and he turned away. There was no reason to ask how she'd found him, and he didn't care why she had come.

Tanith strode easily into the small clearing, arms at her sides. She didn't speak, merely standing behind him calmly, watching. Zelgadis refused to turn, wishing she would just leave. Finally, he couldn't stand the silence. "What do you want?" he snapped over his shoulder.

"You were pretty rude back there," Tanith stated, ignoring his question. He could feel her eyes on his back.

"Me?!" Now he faced her, surprised by her words. He'd been expecting an apology or a request for him to come back, not a reprimand. "You're the ones spouting nonsense about me acting strange!"

"We were telling you the truth," she replied calmly. Her tone was patient; it only made him angrier. "Lina, Amelia--we're all your friends, Zelgadis."

"Yeah, right." He crossed his arms, eyes narrowed and cold. "Some friends. You can't even understand what this means to me."

"Wrong." He blinked, taken aback by her declaration. "We do understand--what being human means to you, what being able to have attention means. We all understand. That's why Lina never brought it up until now." She raised a questioning eyebrow. "Don't you think she would have said something sooner if she didn't? Would she have let you get away with such strange behavior otherwise?"

"But I'm not acting strange!" He threw up his arms in exasperation. "This is the real me, before I was changed!" It was so frustrating that even his constant repetition wasn't being heard. Her disbelieving gaze caused him to lower his voice. "Not that it matters. She said she liked the old me better. But that wasn't me." He glared at her, spreading his arms wide. "This is me, the real me, and I'm not changing back."

"But you--"

"No!" he interrupted. "That's the way things are. You all will just have to get used to it, because I'm not changing."

Tanith frowned, the first crack in her calm demeanor. Zelgadis took great pleasure in the expression. She should be upset. She should get angry, because he was angry. He had wanted this for over four years, had suffered all that time because he couldn't find a way to reach his goal.

And now this girl was telling him that everyone liked him better when he was a monster, back when every night he mourned at not having found even a clue. Back when every morning brought a dim hope that maybe today would bring his salvation. Back when he had to hide his face. Back when he was running from Rezo, when he was being used, even manipulated.

They wanted him to go back to the anger and the hate, to the fear and the shame. The days of doubts and even despair. Back to the loneliness, the unending loneliness that only Lina and Gourry had been partially able to alleviate, if only for a short time.

Tanith just stood there. She should have been understanding of his pain, should have been helping him and defending him. For her to actually be arguing with him, agreeing with Lina--

"You're acting so foolish."

--was enough to make him wish she'd suffer as much as he had.

"I'm not acting foolish," he retorted. "Why do I keep having to repeat myself? I'm acting like a human, like the human I'm supposed to be."

Tanith shook her head, the frown on her lips moving to her eyes. "It must have been a long time since you've been human, because you're acting like a child."

Zelgadis ground his teeth crossing his arms again, mind supplying him with a comeback. "You're the one acting like a child, Tanith." He grinned darkly at the surprise that escaped her mask. "You walk around here, acting like you know everything, breaking down whenever something gets too tough for you to handle."

She scowled. Zelgadis silently cheered this second victory. He wondered how far he could push her. It wasn't fair, her attitude. She had grown so cool the last few weeks, almost superior in the way she wouldn't talk with any of them. She was always acting so in control, so knowledgeable of everything around them. He wanted to hurt her, want to prove that she was no better than him or anyone else. Even if she had been "chosen" by the Elements, it didn't mean she could look down on him. He wouldn't let her, and he eagerly waited for her next comment.

He didn't have to wait long. "I don't understand you humans," she spat.

"Of course you don't; you aren't one."

The insult didn't work as he had hoped--she brushed it aside as though it didn't bother her. "I've seen plenty of people who don't give you a second look, but you act like everyone's terrified of you. People don't judge you that harshly."

"What are you talking about?" He filled his voice with scorn. "You said before that you've never spent a night in an inn until you met us. You hide from humans, and you think you know any better than me?" He laughed, sounding as superior as possible. "I've been run out of towns before, Tanith. I've been turned away from inns and restaurants times when I've forgotten to wear my mask. Not being human is a curse. People fear and hate and persecute those that are different. Why do you think Rezo wanted to be able to see? He was tired of being treated like some poor invalid, just like I'm tired of being treated like a freak."

"There are worse things than being treated differently." Tanith's eyes shone with a strange light, focusing within on something he couldn't see. "You could be dead."

He had no reply to that. There had been times when he had wanted to die rather than keep on following the Red Priest, rather than have to face another busy town from behind his mask. Some dark nights he'd even considered doing the deed himself, back when he'd first been changed. If it hadn't been for Zolf and Rodimus….

He shook his head, banishing the disturbing thoughts. Tanith's expression was turning smug. It then occurred to him that she might be trying to upset him as much as he was trying to upset her.

That could not be tolerated.

"You don't understand." His fingers curled tightly around the fabric of his clothes, straightening his stance. "You, Lina, Amelia--you're my friends, but you don't even try to understand how I feel."

"For calling us friends," she replied," You sure don't treat us very well. After everything that's happened--"

"Like you know how to treat friends," he shot back. "You've been wandering for so long that you've obviously forgotten."

Tanith's eyes darkened, fists clenched at her sides. Zelgadis realized he was hitting some tender spots, and that caused him to grin. He was winning.

"I had friends, before." Her voice was low, body and face tense with barely suppressed emotions.

And then he knew how to break her. Lina had done it before, not realizing until it was too late. The one thing Tanith never talked about, the one topic she avoided at all costs. Every time she talked about her own people, her eyes had grown pained. He could bring that out again. Right now. He could beat her down, and then maybe she'd understand how he had felt all those years. She would know what he had lived through, day after day. She would understand.

Zelgadis felt his lips stretch into a smile. "Yes, what about your friends?"

Tanith froze, expression freezing. She didn't try to speak. He held her gaze for several long seconds, relishing the flicker of hurt in her slit blue eyes before continuing. "You keep telling us about your 'Mages.' For years you protect us helpless humans out of 'duty' or some other such shit. You're just the Light of God, aren't you? And oh, you Ruumin are so amazing with your perfect society, your perfect lives away from the rest of the evil world." Zelgadis advanced towards her a few steps, getting a perverse pleasure from her widening eyes. "And then there are you Mages. So tight, so caring of each other. Like siblings." He spread his arms in a questioning gesture. "Where are they now, Tanith?"

She stepped back, face gone ghostly pale. Zelgadis continued, not really hearing himself anymore, not able to stop.

"Where are your precious little brother and sister Mages now, Tanith? Did you run away? No, you told me you did something terrible, didn't you. They're not here anymore." He lowered his voice, but as he continued it began to grow in volume and ferocity, fueled by his own emotions.

"I had friends once, too, Tanith. They took care of me when I was mutated by that so called 'Priest.' They did everything for me! They kept me alive. They kept me sane. So did Lina, and Gourry, and Amelia and Sylphiel. I had friends who fought for me, just like yours probably did. I had friends who would sacrifice everything for me, and I for them, just like you and your Mages. I'm just as good as you, Tanith!. But in one way I'm better, because I didn't stand by and watch them die!!!"

Zelgadis spun around, turning his back on the elf. The forest rang with his final words, silence following on its heals. Not even the animals stirred, waiting for something that wasn't coming.

I've won. She can't beat that. I've won.

But the silence began to grow thick, dampening his victory and filling him with apprehension. Why doesn't she say something? Is she even there? He turned his head slightly, catching a glimpse of blond hair. He couldn't see her face, but her arms were tight against her sides.

Zelgadis grew uncomfortable. His fingers twisted in his sleeve, eyes shifting as if to get a better view of her without turning. He alternated his weight back and forth, from foot to foot. The forest was completely still, hundreds of eyes focused on that one tiny clearing. The presence of the person behind him was almost overpowering, and finally he couldn't take it. Readying a new, scornful comment he turned around, fists locking by his sides as he faced the girl.

The words died in his lungs, hands unclenching and breath held as his gaze met hers.

Her stance, her face, even her eyes practically glowed with anger, frozen from just before he'd exploded. Her skin was white in the light of the full moon that had settled directly overhead as if to watch the scene with the rest of the forest. Her arms trembled just barely as she glared at him.

And from those blazing eyes spilled more tears than Zelgadis had thought were possible to shed. They poured down her cheeks, dripping off her chin to be absorbed into her cloak. Behind the anger of her stare shone the terrible pain that had found only one escape.

He didn't know what to do. Her hard, unmoving exterior was more frightening and grieving than if she had been broken down and sobbing. There was nothing he could say to take back his words, but worse than that was that part of him didn't want to.

Finally she spoke. Her voice was chillingly dull, as though she wasn't completely there. Zelgadis shook himself as she did, but upon hearing her words his mind went numb. He struggled for a reply, not believing the statement she'd just made. "I'm…I'm what?"

"You're dying," she repeated, just as emotionlessly as before. "Shadow Redemption didn't work, and you're dying."

"Didn't…work?" That didn't make any sense--he was human. That was how it was supposed to be. "But, but I'm--"

"The spell didn't complete itself," she interrupted. Her expression calmed, returning to the flat mask she'd arrived in. The tears, however, refused to stop. Tanith didn't seem to notice, and that unsettled him even more. "It removed the demon and golem, and it split your astral spirit. But there wasn't enough power, and it couldn't seal you. Your soul is bleeding to death."

This was impossible. "But I feel fine," he insisted. "I haven't--"

"Don't you feel weak, like some part of you is draining out?" she continued. "You're using up energy quickly and can't replace it. I was able to put a 'bandage' on the injuries to slow them, but they won't last."

He shook his head rapidly, but she went on before he could speak. "Lina knows it; she's telling the others right now. We've been heading to Atlas City to find a cure, and we've been searching here as well."

That's where she's been the whole time--trying to find a cure for me. "But the spell was fine," he protested. "I felt it comple--"

"You were knocked out before it was over," she pointed out coldly. "The spell may have finished with you physically, but not completely. You weren't strong enough."

Those last words hit him like an explosion. Not strong enough? The one thing he had always fought to achieve, the obsession that had led to his original transformation…and now it was ruining his life again?

Ever since that time I've wanted to be strong, since I was nine. I've always worked for it, even as a chimera. He closed his eyes tightly, blocking out the image of the girl before him It was too much--it was all too much. He was finally human again. Everything was supposed to be all right. The one thing he'd believed in all those years….

And again, my own weakness has destroyed everything.

Even her….

But there was no point in giving up just yet. Tanith had said they were looking for a cure, and he had to search as well. This time, he thought strongly, facing the Ruumin again, I won't lose.

"Fine." It was all he said, all he would say. Despite all the mixing emotions, his anger was still there--he couldn't forgive her so easily. She had been too cold, too superior, not even willing to admit her defeat by breaking down. They had been falling apart for some time now, and there was nothing to be done about it now. Without another word he left, heading back towards the city. He didn't know if she was following.

And he didn't care.

* * * * * *

Thunder roared overhead, lightening flashing so often the night looked more like day. Tanith covered her head, hiding from the dream even as she knew it was futile. This dream had haunted her for eight years, and she hadn't yet found a way to overcome it.

She was tossed back and forth, arms and legs banging painfully against wood dampened by the constant rain. Breathing was difficult, and seeing was even more so--water kept pounding into her face.

There was a terrible, ripping agony. It felt as if something had taken hold of her arms and legs, tearing them away from her shocked body. She could hear screaming--most of it her own. Then some sharp object collided with the back of her head, sending her into complete darkness.

* * * * * *

Tanith sat bolt upright in bed, sweat dripping down her forehead as she tried to regain her breath.

I haven't had that dream for over a month, she thought, slowly reestablishing her calm. Not since I joined up with Lina and the others, since I met clouded brother.

She blinked rapidly, realizing she hadn't seen or heard from him since the casting of Shadow Redemption.

Tanith suddenly felt sick, afraid, and very, very lonely. Everyone was falling away from her, and now the dreams were starting again.

It's my punishment. I knew Shadow Redemption wasn't a good idea, and I let it happen anyway. He's left me--I'm on my own again. It was a sobering answer.

Tanith pushed the choking emotions down, forcing on herself the calm mask she'd held since Rana. She was being punished, but she'd been being punished the past eight years. She would just continue, like she had for so long already.

Perhaps, when I find and answer and make things right again, clouded brother will forgive me.

Perhaps….