This is the third part of the Destiny series, and for yall real emotional people, I'd suggest grabbing a tissue. Got the tissues? Okay, now read the story, and after that would you please fill out that little box at the bottom of the page? I love reviews, you know.
I paced around Lupin's living room, trying to decide my next move. Voldemort was not a fool, and he would not waste any time in coming after me. But I was relatively safe here, and I was exhausted. I sank onto the couch, deciding that a nap would be a very good idea. I was fairly certain that Remus still lived here, but if he wanted to curse a sleeping man, then so be it. I woke to the sound of Lupin's voice.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. I sat up and looked at him, trying to determine whether or not my personal quest for vengeance was to end here, at Remus' hands.
"I don't know," I said softly.
"Have they finally decided to come after us?" he snapped, and he sounded furious.
"No. They haven't. But if you want, you can curse me now and be done with it. That's entirely up to you. I won't raise a hand to stop you." He hesitated, then began to pace, retracing my steps of only a few hours before.
"Why'd you turn on us, Harry?" he asked, and there was a plea in his voice. A kind of despair, because he knew--or he thought he knew--where my loyalties really lay, and it was not with him. I started to answer his question, but he held up a hand to stop me.
"That wasn't fair of me to ask you that. I would certainly not have held up as long as you did. You-Know-Who is very strong, I know that. But have you really returned to our side, or are you here at his orders?" I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again. Because I didn't know how to answer him. True, I was against Voldemort, but I had sworn to answer only to myself, to not let foolish notions of chivalry and gallantry make me hesitant to do what had to be done.
"I'm not with you, Moony. I will fight Voldemort-" he flinched at the sound of the name, "-but I'll do it my way. I've answered to Voldemort too long to do anything else."
"All right," he agreed. "Maybe you have. Wait here a second, will you? I have something for you." He left the room, and when he returned, he was carrying a little box, which he handed to me. I opened it to find a small gold locket inside. And I recognized it. I looked up at him, and he nodded.
"Yeah. That was Hermione's," he said, answering my unspoken question. I pulled the locket from the box and opened it. The picture inside was of me, Hermione, and Ron on our graduation day from Hogwarts. The three people inside looked at me with mild interest, and I snapped it shut. I couldn't do this. Not now. Not ever. I read the inscription on the front of it, unable or unwilling to stop myself.
'To Thine Own Self Be True'
No. I dropped the locket, and I couldn't stop the tears. Tears for a past I no longer wanted to remember; tears for a future I didn't have. I had given more than my life to Voldemort, because I knew now why I had surrendered so completely to Darkness. It had taken this long to realize it, but I honestly didn't remember those last few years before the wizarding world fell to Voldemort's irresistible power.
And there was only one reason why, I knew that now. Someone had put a memory charm on me. The question was who. Voldemort was the obvious answer, but there was another answer, one that frightened me. The other answer was that I had done it to myself.
I was powerful enough to do it, of that I was certain. It had taken two years, but the memory charm had to be wearing off. That was why I had suddenly begun to resist Voldemort.
"What's wrong?" Moony questioned, and there was concern in his voice. "You look like you saw a ghost or something." He picked up the locket and studied the picture inside. "Well, maybe you did see a ghost of a sort," he admitted.
"It's not that."
"Then what it is?"
"I can't tell you that." I truly couldn't. I knew if I tried to explain everything to him, I'd break down completely, and I didn't want that. He looked like he wanted to protest, but Ginny's timely arrival put that thought of his mind, at least for now.
"Hi, Moony," she called.
"Hello, Ginny," I said, and she whirled to face me, a look of complete surprise on her face.
"Harry! What are you doing here?"
"At the moment, not much."
"Don't be obnoxious. Anyway, the rest of us should be showing up in a minute, so you can see everyone."
"The rest?" I said, totally bewildered. I hadn't known there was that many wizards that still resisted Voldemort. On second thought, that might be a good thing. If I didn't know about it, Voldemort almost certainly didn't.
"Yes. The rest. Um, although I think it might be better if they didn't see you right off. Some of them are going to hex first and ask questions later."
"Yeah, I see your point. I'll be in the living room, just call me when you're ready." I collapsed onto the couch, feeling suddenly and inexplicably exhausted. I had so much I had to do, and no time to do it in. I wondered if it would be better if I just left now, because I had seen the hope in Ginny's eyes, and I didn't want to disappoint her again. But if I left, I would just be proving what Voldemort had always said, that I was too much of a coward to face the truth, and that made my decision for me. I would stay.
"All right, they're ready," Ginny told me, looking a bit nervous. "But I'd still be on my guard, if I were you." I followed her into the other room, where ten or eleven witches and wizards were lounging on chairs. They instantly tensed when I entered the room, and everyone had their hands on their wands.
"Now, don't do something you might regret later," Ginny warned the others, frowning at them severely. There was a long moment of silence, which was finally broken by a quiet voice.
"Harry?" Sirius stared at me, pure disbelief in his eyes. "But you're. . .you're. . ." He couldn't finish his sentence, and I smiled faintly.
"Never thought I'd see the day when you couldn't think of something to say, Padfoot." He just stared at me for another minute, then turned to Ginny and Remus.
"If this is some kind of trick, you're in serious trouble," he threatened.
"It's not," Ginny assured him. "And Harry's back of his own free will. He saved me from Voldemort."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," I drawled. "You're not safe yet, are you?"
"Not exactly, but with you here I'm safer than I've been in years," she challenged.
"Whoa, stop right there. Don't start that. I'm not the person you used to know. I can't ever be the Harry you knew."
"Why not?" she pleaded, almost tearfully.
"Oh geez, Ginny, don't do this to me. I don't have any more say in this than you do. This is just one of the things I have to do."
"You're going back to him, aren't you?" The troubled, hurt sound of her voice almost broke me. I was close--too close--to forgetting everything I had to do and just staying here, to protect her. But I couldn't do that, no matter what. To stay would put her in danger. To leave would break her heart again. There would be no second chances.
"I'm going back, but not the way you think. I will challenge him to a duel, winner take all. No matter who wins, I won't be coming back."
"So you'll just leave again?" The pain in her voice almost killed me. But God help me, I didn't have any other choice.
"Yes."
"It's that simple for you? You'll just leave? You'll just walk away from the only life you've ever known?" I refused to meet her eyes. I knew if I did, I couldn't leave, and I had to. I had to.
"Yes. It's that simple." I apparated away before she could say anything else. I remembered the saying written on Hermione's locket.
'To Thine Own Self Be True'
Could I? Could I ever to be true to myself? Could I ever be true to the life I knew, to the life I treasured? The only truth I knew was that destiny could not be denied, and that would have to be enough.
I paced around Lupin's living room, trying to decide my next move. Voldemort was not a fool, and he would not waste any time in coming after me. But I was relatively safe here, and I was exhausted. I sank onto the couch, deciding that a nap would be a very good idea. I was fairly certain that Remus still lived here, but if he wanted to curse a sleeping man, then so be it. I woke to the sound of Lupin's voice.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. I sat up and looked at him, trying to determine whether or not my personal quest for vengeance was to end here, at Remus' hands.
"I don't know," I said softly.
"Have they finally decided to come after us?" he snapped, and he sounded furious.
"No. They haven't. But if you want, you can curse me now and be done with it. That's entirely up to you. I won't raise a hand to stop you." He hesitated, then began to pace, retracing my steps of only a few hours before.
"Why'd you turn on us, Harry?" he asked, and there was a plea in his voice. A kind of despair, because he knew--or he thought he knew--where my loyalties really lay, and it was not with him. I started to answer his question, but he held up a hand to stop me.
"That wasn't fair of me to ask you that. I would certainly not have held up as long as you did. You-Know-Who is very strong, I know that. But have you really returned to our side, or are you here at his orders?" I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again. Because I didn't know how to answer him. True, I was against Voldemort, but I had sworn to answer only to myself, to not let foolish notions of chivalry and gallantry make me hesitant to do what had to be done.
"I'm not with you, Moony. I will fight Voldemort-" he flinched at the sound of the name, "-but I'll do it my way. I've answered to Voldemort too long to do anything else."
"All right," he agreed. "Maybe you have. Wait here a second, will you? I have something for you." He left the room, and when he returned, he was carrying a little box, which he handed to me. I opened it to find a small gold locket inside. And I recognized it. I looked up at him, and he nodded.
"Yeah. That was Hermione's," he said, answering my unspoken question. I pulled the locket from the box and opened it. The picture inside was of me, Hermione, and Ron on our graduation day from Hogwarts. The three people inside looked at me with mild interest, and I snapped it shut. I couldn't do this. Not now. Not ever. I read the inscription on the front of it, unable or unwilling to stop myself.
'To Thine Own Self Be True'
No. I dropped the locket, and I couldn't stop the tears. Tears for a past I no longer wanted to remember; tears for a future I didn't have. I had given more than my life to Voldemort, because I knew now why I had surrendered so completely to Darkness. It had taken this long to realize it, but I honestly didn't remember those last few years before the wizarding world fell to Voldemort's irresistible power.
And there was only one reason why, I knew that now. Someone had put a memory charm on me. The question was who. Voldemort was the obvious answer, but there was another answer, one that frightened me. The other answer was that I had done it to myself.
I was powerful enough to do it, of that I was certain. It had taken two years, but the memory charm had to be wearing off. That was why I had suddenly begun to resist Voldemort.
"What's wrong?" Moony questioned, and there was concern in his voice. "You look like you saw a ghost or something." He picked up the locket and studied the picture inside. "Well, maybe you did see a ghost of a sort," he admitted.
"It's not that."
"Then what it is?"
"I can't tell you that." I truly couldn't. I knew if I tried to explain everything to him, I'd break down completely, and I didn't want that. He looked like he wanted to protest, but Ginny's timely arrival put that thought of his mind, at least for now.
"Hi, Moony," she called.
"Hello, Ginny," I said, and she whirled to face me, a look of complete surprise on her face.
"Harry! What are you doing here?"
"At the moment, not much."
"Don't be obnoxious. Anyway, the rest of us should be showing up in a minute, so you can see everyone."
"The rest?" I said, totally bewildered. I hadn't known there was that many wizards that still resisted Voldemort. On second thought, that might be a good thing. If I didn't know about it, Voldemort almost certainly didn't.
"Yes. The rest. Um, although I think it might be better if they didn't see you right off. Some of them are going to hex first and ask questions later."
"Yeah, I see your point. I'll be in the living room, just call me when you're ready." I collapsed onto the couch, feeling suddenly and inexplicably exhausted. I had so much I had to do, and no time to do it in. I wondered if it would be better if I just left now, because I had seen the hope in Ginny's eyes, and I didn't want to disappoint her again. But if I left, I would just be proving what Voldemort had always said, that I was too much of a coward to face the truth, and that made my decision for me. I would stay.
"All right, they're ready," Ginny told me, looking a bit nervous. "But I'd still be on my guard, if I were you." I followed her into the other room, where ten or eleven witches and wizards were lounging on chairs. They instantly tensed when I entered the room, and everyone had their hands on their wands.
"Now, don't do something you might regret later," Ginny warned the others, frowning at them severely. There was a long moment of silence, which was finally broken by a quiet voice.
"Harry?" Sirius stared at me, pure disbelief in his eyes. "But you're. . .you're. . ." He couldn't finish his sentence, and I smiled faintly.
"Never thought I'd see the day when you couldn't think of something to say, Padfoot." He just stared at me for another minute, then turned to Ginny and Remus.
"If this is some kind of trick, you're in serious trouble," he threatened.
"It's not," Ginny assured him. "And Harry's back of his own free will. He saved me from Voldemort."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," I drawled. "You're not safe yet, are you?"
"Not exactly, but with you here I'm safer than I've been in years," she challenged.
"Whoa, stop right there. Don't start that. I'm not the person you used to know. I can't ever be the Harry you knew."
"Why not?" she pleaded, almost tearfully.
"Oh geez, Ginny, don't do this to me. I don't have any more say in this than you do. This is just one of the things I have to do."
"You're going back to him, aren't you?" The troubled, hurt sound of her voice almost broke me. I was close--too close--to forgetting everything I had to do and just staying here, to protect her. But I couldn't do that, no matter what. To stay would put her in danger. To leave would break her heart again. There would be no second chances.
"I'm going back, but not the way you think. I will challenge him to a duel, winner take all. No matter who wins, I won't be coming back."
"So you'll just leave again?" The pain in her voice almost killed me. But God help me, I didn't have any other choice.
"Yes."
"It's that simple for you? You'll just leave? You'll just walk away from the only life you've ever known?" I refused to meet her eyes. I knew if I did, I couldn't leave, and I had to. I had to.
"Yes. It's that simple." I apparated away before she could say anything else. I remembered the saying written on Hermione's locket.
'To Thine Own Self Be True'
Could I? Could I ever to be true to myself? Could I ever be true to the life I knew, to the life I treasured? The only truth I knew was that destiny could not be denied, and that would have to be enough.