*~Erin, Chapter 5~*


As soon as I got to Hogwarts, I realized there would be no keeping certain boys out of a girl's dormitory and vice versa. I sat through the sorting hat ceremony, in which several people joined our house, including a perfect looking platinum haired girl named Meghan. She seemed very sweet, though maybe a little too beautiful to be popular with the other girls, who all slid silently away from her. We were joined by many others, as well, but I didn't get to know them all. Nor did I need to, after all, I'd only be with them this year and next. But something about Meghan made me feel sorry for her, to want to be friends with her. I made up my mind to make an effort to be nice to the little pearl of a child.
The next morning I went to breakfast early. I made up my mind to go to every meal no matter how I was feeling when I started dating Remus -- it was worth going just to see him. And so I guess I kind of gave up my eating disorder that I had sort of developed, though I had tried to pretend I didn't have a problem. I sat next to little Meghan, saving the seat on my other side for Remus. I wondered if Meghan would be just like I was as a first year. I hoped she didn't get all the verbal beatings by older girls, just because all the boys would stare at her, as they did me.
My thoughts were interrupted by a soft "Hi". I realized it came from Meghan. After thinking about how cute she sounded, and how I just wanted her for a sister, I realized I needed to reply.
"Hi! How are you?" I said quite cheerfully, considering it was six in the morning. I examined her perfectly formed face and wondered if she, too, was a model.
"You're quite nice." She said. I just wanted to hug her and say "You're so sweet!!!" and squeeze her and tell her she'll love Hogwarts, but I figured it would scare her, so I just smiled and thanked her. It was then that Remus came in.
"Hello, my sweet love!" He said and smiled. I smiled back, and he handed something to me. "Got you a present the other day, but I forgot to give it to you yesterday." he said, as he handed me a wrapped gift. I don't think there could ever be a sweeter boy. I unwrapped it and found a beautiful diamond necklace in it and quickly put it on. Hugged him and thanked him for it and then remembered to introduce him to Meghan.
Meghan, this is my boyfriend, Remus. Remus, say hi to Meghan. She's a new Ravenclaw." Remus looked at her for several seconds and finally came up with something to say.
"Is Ravenclaw the house for brains or models?" He said and sat down (finally!) and held my hand. I messed up his hair and grinned at him.
"I love you, Remus. I don't think anything could ever keep us apart."
"Good." he said, grinning. I'd never seen Remus cry over nothing, but suddenly a few tears escaped his face. I was surprised, but tried not to show it. I just kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand, knowing he'd be okay in a few seconds, which he was. Meghan looked at us like we were some kind of romance novel, and I suppose, in a way, we were, to Hogwarts. I think that if we split up that we wouldn't be the only ones crying, in fact, the professors would probably cancel classes just so everyone could cry about how we were so perfect together. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but then again, maybe not.
Meghan and I hung out a lot. I found out that in fact Meghan was not a model, but she was very interested in becoming one. I promised to take her with me some places this summer to see if she could get some jobs (and I was sure she could!), which delighted her. She was such a fun friend, and soon we became best friends. The only time we weren't together was when I was dating Remus. Meghan had to be the only person I loved more than Remus, but I loved them both, Remus as a friend and boyfriend, and Meghan as a best friend. I knew we'd be best friends for life, or at least I was hoping.


* * * * *


"About that Yule ball, you'll go with me, right?"
"Of course, Remus! I wouldn't go with anyone else. You know that!" Remus grinned at this.
"Yeah, I guess I knew." I knew I was going with him even if he didn't ask, I don't know why he's always so unsure of us. Maybe he's been hurt by other girls, and can't believe this is really love. Meghan was a little disappointed that first years couldn't go unless asked, but she got over it quickly when Peter Pettigrew asked her, and she decided maybe she didn't really need to go after all. When she told me this I must have laughed for three days straight, because of when Peter asked me out. I was looking forward to the Yule ball with every bit of me that I had, and it was only one week away now. Once, in the halls, I was babbling to Remus about how excited I was, and asked if he, too, was excited.
"Erin, I'm really sorry about this, but I'm not going to be able to go. I want to more than anything in the world, and I love you with all my heart, but I really can't go."
"What?!" I exclaimed. This hurt me so much, I could not believe he couldn't go. Even if I had been able to find a new date, I wouldn't have gone with them. No matter, I'd go anyway, just without a partner. "Remus...why?" I put my arm around his waist and he started crying. I didn't know why he did this, but I didn't mind it. I loved him, and that was all that mattered.
"Erin, I'm...I can't!" he practically shouted, then took a deep breath and cried some more. "Because, because I won't be here."
"Oh really, and where might you be? You won't be at Hogwarts for the ball?"
"Erin, I..." he cut off his sentence. He couldn't explain himself. I hugged him and went to my dormitory to cry about it, and Karen tried talking to me.
"Erin, what happened to you? All of a sudden you've like, forgot about me. You're always with Meghan, or Remus. And why are you crying?" This just made me cry more. In befriending Meghan, I'd forgotten my old best friend completely. I'd forgotten that I'd been best friends with Karen since we met, several years ago. And I didn't even want to think about not going to the ball with Remus. Why wasn't he going to be here? He was always here!
"Karen!" I sobbed. I couldn't say anything for about five minutes and then finally the whole story came pouring out of me. About how Remus wouldn't be here, that I was in love with him. About Meghan, she was so pretty that all the girls hated her, except me, because I knew what it was like. How I was so sorry, but if it weren't for Karen, I don't know what I would have done, and Meghan didn't have anyone like Karen. No first years sweet enough to want to be her best friend. I hugged, cried, and promised we'd all hang out together, instead of shutting Karen out. Karen nodded and said she understood, but just couldn't believe that I had forgotten her.
"I was just so excited, a new friend, my boyfriend, being in love, it's so exciting. I didn't mean to forget about you!" At this point she explained to me that maybe that's how Remus forgot he couldn't go to the ball, maybe he was just so excited, that he wasn't thinking.
I had a miserable time at the Yule ball. Remus wasn't there, and neither were any of his best friends, which included Peter. Maybe they'd had a boys night out, or something. I ended up asking Karen to leave her date (the Hufflepuff prefect) which she gladly did, since they didn't get along, and we went up to hang out with Meghan. I figured, if we couldn't have fun because of the boys night out, then we could at least have a girls night out and try. We did have fun, we did each others nails and stuff. But I still couldn't help but be sad that Remus couldn't be at the dance.

* * * * *


"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there! I hope you're not mad. If you are, I understand, that was pretty rotten of me. I couldn't help it, though. I'm so sorry!"
"Oh, Remus, I love you so much! You're so cute, and of course I forgive you! I don't think anything could ever make me not love you!" I forgave him completely for not coming to the dance. I love him so much, I don't know how to describe it. He's so wonderful!
"I will never stop loving you, Erin." he said solemly. I tossed my hair back and hugged and kissed him. I was so happy to see him,and even though he'd only been gone for a night, I had missed him. No, I don't normally see him at night, but he left after dinner and didn't come back until late this morning. He hugged me back weakly, and I wondered if he'd stayed up late. I didn't know what was wrong, but maybe he hada sick family member and had to visit whenever he or she was maybe dying. I didn't know, because I'd never had a death in the family and wasn't quite sure how that worked, if they pulled you out of school on certain nights to go visit your sick relative. But whatever it was, I was just happy he was back. Then a terrible thought struck my head.
"Remus, are you okay? I mean, sometimes you have to leave. Are you like, very ill? And sometimes you need to leave, go to some place where they can take care of you? Though I don't know why you'd need to leave Hogwarts, there's always the hospital wing. My heart was beating fast. I didn't want him to die, but then again, he hadn't said anyhting about that yet.
"Well, sort of yes, and sort of no. Do you want to go out to eat or something?" I jumped at the opportunity to be with him. We took the way to Hogsmeade from the old statue the opened up and led to the path, just as we had many times before. We talked for hours, and finally went back to Hogwarts.
"So, are you going home for the holidays? I never noticed if you did or not before, because this is our first Christmas together." I asked him, curious.
"Oh, I'm definitely staying here. I always do. It's easier on my parents." I suddenly felt an extreme sorrow for him. Did his parents not want him around? I loved him, how could they not? He seemed to be so open to me about most things, but there were just a few things you couldn't get Remus to talk about, no matter what. I decided this must be one of the things, that his parents don't want him around, so I decided not to pester him about it. It's best to leave his sensitive spots alone.
I went to my room and wrote a letter to my parents, telling them I didn't really want to go home for the holidays. As usual, I told them I loved them, but that I needed to keep Remus company. I told them not to worry, of course I was coming home for the summer, I had a job, after all.

* * * * *


"Bye, Karen! Bye, Meghan!" We hugged and then I turned to Remus.
"Goodbye, Remus! I love you!" I hugged him as tears fell from my eyes.
"Oh, Erin, I'll always love you!" I knew this was more than most relationships were. Ours was so different...I knew he really meant it.
"Well, my mum is waiting for me. And you know, I really have to go home, because I didn't go home over holiday break."
"Well, yes, and I have to go the -- for that reason, yes, too." As he said this, his voice cracked. He was so cute when he got emotional! I kissed him goodbye one last time and finally went off to my parents for another summer without Remus.

A/N: Well, there you have it! It's not over! Some of you, I think, thought it was over last part. I just have to get them through their last year at Hogwarts, and then I have the entire end finished in my head, I'll just write it down.

Peace, popcorn, and parentheses,

*Heather*