Asuka's Project 6
Asuka watched him avoiding looking at her. She had Misato's magazine held up in front of her face to appear less obvious. She was less obvious, but more conspicuous at the same time. She just knew he was silently squirming, wishing she wasn't there.
That didn't make her feel better though. She didn't want him to squirm and find her presence distasteful; he was supposed to want to have her around. So far, her progress on that front was minimal.
It had been fun though. Who would ever believe how easily she had gotten under the commander's skin? Not even she quite believed it. Maybe he was setting her up again, and he wasn't really bothered at all.
But no. He had been flustered by her behavior, he had been surprised by her kiss. It wasn't like him to be so... skittish? with anyone though. Certainly she'd have to follow up on this. There was no way she was going to just drop it, forget that it had happened.
Asuka sighed loudly, not even realizing it. She could see it. She could see how tense he was, and for a precious moment, he looked down at her. A smile crept to her lips, almost shy. He quickly looked away though, transforming her smile into a frown.
This would simply not do.
"Asuka-chan, I have a little something for you."
Asuka's eyes gleamed when she heard Kaji speak from behind her. She whirled around, a wide smile plastered on her face. "You got it?"
Kaji strode forward, a slip of paper held confidently between two fingers. "Of course, I did. Did you think I couldn't?"
Snatching the paper from his hand, Asuka ignored his smugness. It just wasn't worth dealing with. Glancing at what was on the paper first, she smiled up at Kaji, and tucked it into her pocket. "Thanks! I know right what I can do with this."
Without another word or look, she turned and hurried off. Kaji was no longer any of her concern.
In the darkness and privacy of her room, Asuka held the slip of paper up and stared at it. Without light, she couldn't quite read it, but she had already memorized it as soon as she had gotten the chance.
The next step was to make a plan and execute it. That sounded simple enough, but even for someone as smart and confident as herself, it wouldn't be easy. After all, this was not only her commanding officer, but he was also the closest thing to a living stone.
She would have to break through that granite exterior somehow. And that would have to be the very basis of her plan. Plan.... This would be a process, and there was no was to say how long it would take.
It would take daily evaluation of the situation to determine just when to make her move. Her move.... How strange that sounded. She had never really made a move on anyone--Kaji didn't count--and here she was, going after the commander.
The commander.... Ikari Gendo. If Shinji were half the man his father was....
Asuka tucked the paper beneath her pillow. She couldn't really make plans so late at night when her thinking was less than optimal. She'd just have to wait until the next day when she was fully awake.
Even if she didn't want to.
At school, Shinji looked over at the empty seat and sighed just a little. It wasn't the same without her there, even if he didn't miss her torment. And walking to school was... peaceful, yes, but so... mundane. The whole day just seemed less... less.
Then at home in the evenings, Asuka seemed distant, though generally polite, which confused him. She had been plenty hard to figure out before, but she was even more so now.
Misato had even commented on the Second Child's odd behavior, though she wouldn't give any specific examples. At any rate, he wasn't sure what was going on and knew that asking her would get him absolutely nowhere.
Asuka was apparently finding some value in working at NERV that outweighed everything else; Shinji just wished he could find the same thing.
[Ikari, can you give Asuka a message for me?]
Shinji blinked and glanced over at the class rep. Hikari was doing a fabulous job of hanging on the teacher's every word, though he was sure she had sent the message.
[Sure.]
[Just tell her to call me. I haven't talked to her since she left.]
Since she left. That described it pretty well. Asuka wasn't all there; her mind was busy with something else, and he, along with Misato and Hikari, weren't worthy of her attention now.
[I'll tell her.] Not that he thought it would do much good.
[Thanks.]
Shinji nodded and looked at Hikari. How she could even pretend to be interested in class was beyond him.
"Asuka?" She looked like she was a million miles away. Her attention definitely wasn't on him. "Asuka, Hikari wants you to call her." Shinji waited for her to acknowledge what he had said. Certainly, he didn't expect her to acknowledge him.
Slowly, Asuka returned to full awareness of Misato's apartment, and blinked when she saw Shinji standing in front of her. "What do you want?"
"I said, Hikari wants you to call her." He frowned as his only way of letting her know he was annoyed.
"Right. Thanks."
And with that, he was dismissed. She didn't even insult him. A bit miffed, confused even, Shinji walked away. Immediately, he could tell she was back thinking about something very far away from that apartment.
As for Asuka, she had far more important things concerning her at the moment than calling Hikari. And that was Section 2. How could she get past Section 2 to get at Commander Ikari? Even if there weren't security goons surrounding him at all times, they still watched him, and of course they would be watching his apartment.
That was really her first hurdle before all else. If she couldn't get past Section 2, nothing else would matter. Maybe she'd have to employ some unwitting help from Kaji, Commander Fuyutsuki, and Dr. Akagi. Just enough interference to allow her to slip past. But it would take research and time, and she was not a patient girl.
"Misato?"
Misato slurped up her noodles and looked at Asuka. "Yes?" She spared a glance at Shinji to find his attention wholly on his food.
"What do you know about Section 2?" Asuka's food was completely untouched.
The idea to lie flitted through Misato's mind. "What do you want to know?" she said casually. Maybe if she knew what Asuka was interested in, it'd give her a clue as to what was going on.
The girl shrugged, totally nonchalant and relaxed. "Just curious. I heard the commander mention it a couple times, and you know I couldn't ask him about it." She smiled, giving it a secretive, knowing quality, like it was something just between the two of them.
Hesitantly, Misato returned the smile and nodded. "Personal security. You know those guys that follow you everywhere and try to be inconspicuous? They're Section 2. Any personnel of importance is under their watchful eye."
"So you don't have anyone guarding you?"
Misato flushed and looked down at her food. "No," she mumbled.
Asuka grinned good-naturedly at the response. "So they must be pretty tough guys to watch over me; I know I'm the main target of everyone's attention."
Immediately, the look on Misato's face changed to one of skepticism. "Right."
"So," Asuka continued casually, "they're always around?"
"Yeah." For a moment, a strange feeling overcame the older woman. "Why are you so interested in Section 2? I thought you were annoyed at the extra security we insist on providing you."
"Oh, I am. I was just curious," Asuka answered simply, doing her best to convey it as truth. "And how might one...." She shrugged, idly running her finger along the edge of the table. "You know... accidentally lose them?"
"Asuka, no. They are not that bad. Not bad enough to risk your safety. We won't let you dismiss them just because you don't like them." Misato's lips were pinched into a thin line as proof of her unwavering position on the matter.
Something clicked in Asuka's mind and her eyes lit up. "But... all the Section 2 guys know everyone else, right? If you had some guarding you, they'd know me and Shinji and Wondergirl, right?"
Misato nodded, her features softening. "Sure." Now she was really confused as to what was going on with the girl. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing. Thanks, Misato." Asuka stood and hurried back to her room, the gears of her mind spinning madly. She wouldn't have to get around Section 2; she could go right through them.
Why would they care if a pilot was going to see the commander? She wasn't planning on attacking him or anything; she just wanted to.... To what? She wasn't totally sure really. Maybe it was so she could just...
Flopping on her bed, Asuka stared at the ceiling. Just what was she doing? It was insane. More than insane! Yet, she had already done something she couldn't take back, and she didn't want to. Why should she feel bad about it? Guilty over it?
It wasn't like he had rejected her. He was just... confused, and for that, she couldn't blame him. If their roles had been reversed, why, she'd have been furious! Of course, she was 14, and someone his age taking advantage of someone so young was incredibly improper.
Being young certainly had its advantages.
"You're doing it again."
Gendo glanced at Fuyutsuki and noted the amused look on the older man's face.
"This is starting to look like an obsession with you." Fuyutsuki waited for a moment to give Gendo a chance to say something. To his unsurprise, Gendo remained silent. "That troubling?"
"Possibly."
The sub-commander's eyebrows rose. "Oh really?" he said in a far more interested tone than he had intended. He quickly cleared his throat and tried to reclaim his normally neutral expression.
Resuming his contemplation, Gendo put one hand in front of his mouth again and unconsciously began to rub.
Fuyutsuki noticed, but made no comment this time.
Gendo stared blankly at the flickering TV, glowering. The problem with the Second Child would not leave him alone, and it had started to affect his behavior, as Fuyutsuki had noted earlier that evening. That was not good in multiple ways. Obsessing over it accomplished nothing, and over the girl was unacceptable.
As much as he simply wanted to dismiss her, he couldn't. This was more than just his pride being hurt. It had very little to do with pride actually. It was something... deeper, something he couldn't explain.
Asuka pushed her chair away from the table with authority.
Shinji looked up at her, noting the purpose with which she moved. It was like... finality, like she was ready to tell them she was leaving or something. "Was breakfast okay?"
"Perfectly fine, Shinji," she answered in a detached tone.
Misato glanced up, noting the odd tone as well.
"I think I'll be heading out now. Give those Section 2 guys a workout." Asuka stood, gave her two housemates a perfunctory smile, then exited the kitchen.
Shinji looked to Misato, who was looking through the kitchen doorway.
She turned to him and shrugged. "I have no idea." Misato wasn't about to tell him what she'd heard Asuka say in her sleep, but she could see the worry on the boy's face. Something would have to be done about this soon.
Asuka sat on the train, using the somewhat roundabout route to NERV and the time it afforded her to think. She needed to do more, needed to.... She clenched her fist and slammed it on the seat.
She needed to prove herself! If only for herself, she needed to demonstrate that she was strong enough to take what she wanted, the same way he would. That was what she needed to do: prove herself to be his equal.
So that meant.... Damn. She was still without a plan on how to actually do that.
Ritsuko's lab coat fluttered as Asuka breezed past at a pace the doctor didn't even know she was capable of. "What the...."
Asuka was out of sight before Ritsuko could even finish her thought. "Er... okay." Shaking her head momentarily, Ritsuko continued on her way.
Eyes burning with determination, Asuka cruised down the hall, hair flowing behind her. This time she would begin the process of showing him she wasn't to be brushed aside. The Second Child was a force to be reckoned with.
Her footsteps echoed as she stalked down the corridor, approaching the office of the commander. To hell with courtesy; she would afford him the same courtesy he gave her, no more, no less. If he insisted in treating her like a thing, then she would do the same. Any game he could play, she could as well.
Without pausing to think too deeply about what she was doing, Asuka opened the door and marched right into the office. "Commander," she began imperiously, "I demand an explanation." She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him.
Gendo regarded the girl silently. She demanded an explanation? Interesting in a cursory way. "Go away. You have ceased to be amusing."
He had expected her to explode, as was her normal reaction. Instead, she returned his calm gaze.
"I'm not going anywhere because I don't think you're very amusing either."
"You will obey my orders."
"No, I won't, because you're just saying that to get out of this situation; there's nothing for me to do and you know it."
At least this behavior Gendo could deal with, not like she was before. This behavior he was well acquainted with because... because....
"You will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. You will treat me the way a pilot should be; not like your personal slave you can just ignore and then throw away when you're done."
The words escaped in a humiliating moment of weakness. "No, you're not." To his unexpressed shame, the girl stopped blathering to just stare at him.
Going through his routine of relaxation and resetting his mask, Gendo spoke without the weakness this time. "Pilot, you are already treated beyond what you deserve. Leave." He had wanted to sound firm with her, but his voice wouldn't cooperate. Instead he ended up sounding soft and ineffectual.
Asuka heard the difference in his voice and decided to take a chance. "Sir," she began softly, approaching the desk, "I pilot to your standards. All I want is your recognition."
Not the total truth, but she did have to pilot to his expectations or she could be shipped back to Germany. "Please. We would all get along so much better if you'd just--"
Abruptly, Gendo stood, almost causing her to step back, but she held her ground. "Pilot, you are dismissed."
Even through his glasses, in the dim light of the room, when his eyes met hers, she could see the heat of the moment in them. He was not happy, which sent an odd thrill up her spine. "I'm not going anywhere until you see that--"
"Will this be a repeat of before?"
She didn't think it was exactly what he meant, but Asuka couldn't pass up such a fabulous opportunity. "I hope so."
His brow furrowed.
"Don't... don't you.... I won't do it again unless you--"
"How many times do I have to repeat myself? You are a child. The fact that you think this is... something shows how immature you actually are."
Sighing, Asuka looked at the desktop, at her own dejected reflection. "You think you've got everything worked out, know just how it's all going to go," she said quietly. "Things don't work that way thought. You can't plan for every contingency; something will always slip through." Turning her eyes back up, she noted the subtle way his breathing had changed. He was covering it very well, but not well enough. "No plan is perfect."
The moment stretched, and Asuka wasn't sure just what was going to happen. She wasn't sure anyone had ever seen the commander like this, and she wasn't so sure she wanted to either.
"I will hold you personally responsible for any problems from now on, pilot," he said and barely managed not to hiss it at her.
Asuka got the impression not of a snake, but of a large cat with flattened ears, warning her to keep away. She couldn't allow herself to be so easily intimidated though. "I'll take responsibility, but you won't do anything to me."
He stood to his full height, and finally the snake came through. Still, Asuka would not back down. She couldn't let the situation get away from her. It wasn't necessary for her to carry it, be in control, but she couldn't let the commander get out of control either; who knew what would happen then.
"You are mistaken if you think you are irreplaceable."
In that moment, he had gained a measure of control over things, which she couldn't allow. She wanted him perfectly off-balance; Asuka wasn't so cocky to believe she could actually get the best of the commander, but as long as she kept him doubting, wondering, things would play into her hands. Hopefully.
"I'm not Rei; I'm not your little doll, and I won't allow you to bully me like this. I am irreplaceable. So are Rei and Shinji." The fact that he thought her replaceable.... The more it sat in her brain, the angrier Asuka got. That anger riled thoughts she wouldn't have ever considered saying aloud. "We're not any more replaceable than your wife was."
"Security." He spoke too weakly and no one outside the office could hear him. "Security!"
This time he was heard, and two of Section Two's finest, with guns drawn, burst in. "Sir!"
"Take this girl to a holding cell," he said quietly, but with authority as he looked at the Second Child.
The two agents looked at Asuka as well. "Sir, the Second Child?" one asked hesitantly.
"Yes."
Receiving confirmation, the two holstered their guns, then stood on either side of Asuka. "Let's go."
"It's not so easy. You can't keep me down there," Asuka said loudly, making it sound distinctively like a threat.
"I can, and I will." Gendo nodded at the security agents, who swiftly removed Asuka.
She kept a calm and controlled look on her face, but inside she was frightened. The commander didn't make idle threats, so if he had something planned for her.... For once, she didn't bother with her indignant act; Section Two, with orders from Commander Ikari, wouldn't care how big of a fuss she made.
Asuka glanced up at the faces of the men escorting her through NERV and noted the hard expressions. The temporary confusion at being ordered to arrest the Second Child was no longer there. She was actually rather surprised they had showed any hesitation at all.
"What do you think the commander will do to you two for questioning his orders?" she asked in both curiosity and spite.
"Don't be scared," the one on her left answered. "It's just a holding cell, not a torture chamber."
"Yeah," the other added. "Whatever you did, you must've really pissed him off. I could hear his voice down the hall." The two shared a chuckle.
They hadn't heard that first pleading call though. Only Asuka had. It made her doubt that he was as mad as security believed.
"Hi, Misato."
"Asuka, what did you do!?" she screeched. It was clear from her voice that she wasn't so much concerned with that as what action would be taken against her charge.
"It's... no big deal. I guess I deserved it," the girl answered, not exactly sounding nonchalant, but certainly unconcerned.
"The commander is going to hear about this. We can't have a viable pilot in jail. And a child to boot."
Asuka sighed. "I'm not a child, and don't go running to my rescue. It's not necessary. I'm sure it'll all blow over and then everything will be back to normal."
"Asuka--"
"No, Misato. It doesn't matter to me. You should know that he won't do anything that might upset his precious schedule." And she knew he would never tell anyone what had really happened.
"The commander...." Misato shook her head. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but it's a dangerous one."
At that, Asuka grinned. "Maybe, but sometimes the risk is worth it."
Sighing first, Misato said, "I'll get you out as soon as possible. And I'd reconsider those risks." The woman left the cell without a glance back.
Asuka was plunged back into darkness and went to relax on the cot. Of course, all this time in quiet solitude gave her a chance to think. Her plan needed work; there was no way she was going to abandon it now. It did occur to her that she was probably overmatched, that she'd never break through that wall, but she wasn't going to quit just yet.
Perhaps a direct confrontation. Just go ahead and tell him her intentions, what she wanted out of it all. That would, in all likelihood, accomplish nothing, but not doing anything definitely accomplished nothing. She rolled to her side and stared at where the door was. Of course he wouldn't visit her; that had been an attempt to shake him, and maybe it had even worked.
But what did it get her? Nothing. What was she hoping to get out of all this ultimately? She asked herself that for about the hundredth time, and still she seemed hesitant to answer her own question. A sense of accomplishment? Hardly. She wasn't interested in just knowing she had gotten to him. The comment about his wife had been little more than an emotional low-blow. She wanted... to have him. That would be the goal.
Like taming Kaji had been a goal, tame the wild stallion, this was just that much more difficult. This was akin to making a pet of a shark or wolverine. How did a girl threaten a beast with no natural predators? Asuka didn't know, but she was going to try.
And at this point, with her original plan ready to fall into shambles, Asuka was willing to go with the straight ahead approach. It seemed to be the only really viable option left.
All she had to do was avoid getting thrown in a cell again.
Time passed, but Asuka couldn't tell how much when the door finally opened. Misato had gotten her out, and not a moment too soon. Her stomach was starting to make its annoyance known very loudly. "It's about...." When she rolled over to face the door, she didn't see the silhouette she had been expecting.
He didn't say anything as he stepped through the doorway. The door closed silently, ominously behind him, plunging the cell into cold blackness once again.
"I thought you said you weren't going to do this," Asuka ventured with far more bravery than she felt.
When her words went without reply, she tried again. "You know, visit me."
Still he refused to answer her, and in the dark cell, Asuka couldn't even be sure he was really there.
"Do you realize how you've tried my patience?" His voice floated to her with an eerie otherworldly quality.
Asuka groaned. "Not this again. We already went through all of it before you threw me in here," she said, flopping back on the cot. "Now you're trying my patience."
"You have no idea--"
"No, you have no idea how irritating it is to rehash the same argument again. I know I'm trying your patience, and I know you don't think I know what I'm getting into, and maybe I don't, but doesn't it go 'live and learn'?" Asuka said, somewhere between begging and preaching.
"You have no idea what you're saying. This is not an experiment. This is the difference between survival and the destruction of humanity," Gendo intoned solemnly.
Asuka almost believed him. "A convenient way to blow off anyone who gets in your way," she answered derisively. "And if that's what you think, that I'm in your way, then... you're wrong."
This time, Gendo stayed silent, giving Asuka an opening to continue.
"I know what's at stake," she said quietly. "I don't just pilot for the reasons people think I do. I had it drilled into my head when I was still training that it would be more critical than I could imagine one day." She laughed a little. "I was young. I ate it up. And I still believe; I know the angels aren't attacking for the fun of it all.
"I'm not trying to cause trouble. I just want.... I just want you."
"You don't."
"How would you know?"
"You are a child."
"I'm young. I certainly wouldn't say I'm a child, not after what I've been through." The sour expression on her face was known only to herself.
"You are immature, whether your experiences lead you to believe otherwise."
Asuka sighed. "Think whatever you want, but it doesn't change things at all. You can leave now. This isn't going to accomplish anything; you're not going to change my mind, and I won't change yours."
There was silence again. Not even their breathing was audible. And then a footstep as Gendo turned on his heel.
"I don't love you, you know," Asuka said suddenly, more loudly than necessary so that her voice echoed in the small cell. "I just want you."
A brief pause. "That is a mistake."
"Live and learn, Commander."
Gendo snorted in response, then the door opened, blinding Asuka.
The door closed before her eyesight could adjust, and she was plunged back into solitude.
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End Part 6