The Characters On The Cast-2
A/n: I was leafing through the movie page of a Harry Potter site I was on and decided to write another fic about the 'views' of the Harry Potter characters on the cast playing them. If anyone wants to see pictures of cast members, then everyone I've done is on the page http://members.tripod.com/ashleythewriter on the movie page. Ashley, if you're reading this, it is okay that I linked to you right? It's just, I couldn't remember the exact address of any other site with all the pictures on off the top of my head. Anyways, on with the show.
This time I'm sat in Hagrids hut. Hagrid himself has just finished feeding Fang, and is staring pointedly at the picture I handed to him of Robbie Coltrane.
Me: So, what do you think?
Hagrid: Well, he's a little on the small side don't you think? (He swells up a little proudly) Though the last time I measured meself, I'd only grown a couple of centimetres. Maybe the muggles 'ave noticed! But he looks like a decent sorta chap. Yeah, if they can mek 'im look a bit bigger then he'll be okay by me.
Me: Thank you very much for your time, and the rock cake was delicious. (I exit, before he notices that the rock cake is actually in my bag not my stomach.)
Right, now I'm inside Hogwarts, in the charms classroom, speaking with Prof. Flitwick. He's sat on his pile of cusions, staring bewilderdly at the picture I handed him.
Me: So, what do you think?
Flitwick: Well.....I suppose they got my size right at least. But do they really imagine me with bright red hair?!? (A/n: Okay, so maybe we don't actually know what colour Flitwick's hair is, but the photo on the site above certainly shocked me to say the least.)
Me: Other than the hair, what do you think?
Flitwick: I suppose it isn't bad, to say they've never met me.....(It's painfully obvious that he's trying to be nice, but is really kinda narked.)
Me: Well, thank you for meeting with me, I'd better be on my way.
Okay, now I'm stood outside Hogwarts castle, which Prof McGonagall very kindly transfigured for me so that it can be interviewed. (She could do that right? I mean, in PS she brought the chess piece to life.)"
Me: Hello there!
Castle: (The doors flap as it talks) Good day to you! I never thought I'd see the day when I would be having a conversation with a muggle!
Me: Yes, well, you are now! I was wondering if you could tell me what you think of this picture? It's what the muggles are using as you in the film they're making.
'Castle: A film? How terribly exciting! Now let me see....(The castle carefully examines the picture) It looks a little like a church to me. Never could stand churches. My cousin is married to one, haven't seen her since the wedding. Come to think of it, didn't see her AT the wedding, I couldn't quite get there......No, I'm afraid I really don't like churches. Far too stuck up in my opinion.
Me: Well technically it's a cathedral, not a church.
Castle: A cathedral? Well that's alright then, cathedrals have every right to be stuck up. If I wasn't a castle I'd be a cathedral. My aunties a cathedral you know. Come to think of it, the cathedral in that picture looks awfully like my great uncle Eustus-
Me: Well that's certainly very interesting, but I'm sfraid I must be on my way. Places to go, people to see, you know how it is. (The castle looks forlorn) Maybe we could have tea sometime?
Castle: Oh yes, that would absolutely spiffing my dear girl! Well, ta ta then! (I make a hasty exit)
My next stop takes me to number four Privit Drive, where both Mr and Mrs Dursley are present.
Me: Hello, I was wondering if you could tell me what you think of the people in this picture? They're going to be playing you in a film the mug-uh, people at Warner Brothers are making and I'd like your opinions.
Mrs Dursley: A film? About US?
Me: Um, yes? (I decide to lie. It'll probably be easier)
Mr Dursley: Well that man obviously like his food. I can't stand people who are fussy eaters. (He peers at me) You're not a fussy eater are you? (I decide not to mention the vegetarianism)
Me: No, of course not.
Mr Dursley: Good, good. And he looks well dressed. With tidy hair. Yes, I always like people with tidy hair. (I attempt to straighten mine, which is more than slightly windswept.)
Me: So that's a thumbs up then?
Mr Dursley: Yes, I suppose so.
Me: How about you Mrs Dursley?
Mrs Dursley: Slim isn't she? And rather pretty. That's good, I wouldn't want people thinking I'm fat and ugly. (It's fairly obvious she doesn't care about anything else) Yes, she'll do.
Me: Thank you very much Mr and Mrs Dursley, tell Dudley I'll be seeing him very soon.
Mr Dursley: Hang on a second, how do you know our names? And how do you know the name of our son? (Except I've already disappeared to my next location, a cave in the middle of no-where.)
Me: Yoo-hoo, Voldie dearest?
Voldemort: What did you just call me?
Me: Voldie dearest. Now be a sweety and look at this piccy will you? It's meant to be you, and is going to be in a film. I'd like to know what you think. (He looks at the photo of the computer that I handed him)
Voldemort: I think you gave me the wrong picture.
Me: No, that's the right one. They couldn't find anyone willing to have their head sewn onto someone else, so they're using that.
Voldemort: (spluttering with rage) But that's not me! How dare you! Avarda Ked-(But I have already disappeared and I'm no where to be seen. Look at for me, scouting a movie page near you soon!)