Slayers In The Movies

Another Pointless fic by Amori Malee

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It had been a couple of weeks since their little "adventure" with Xellos. Since then they had not heard from him, which was a nice change. So there they were, the four of them, sitting in the lounge of the inn they had stayed in for the last month, since it was snowing and they couldn't go anywhere (Lets just say, not everyone was getting along=cabin fever^_^), when the front desk clerk came in.

"Um...excuse me? Are you Lina Inverse, and Company?"

"Yeah, that's us," Lina answered, ignoring Zelgadiss's grumblings at the " and company".

"Well, this was left on the front desk for you," she put on a table a medium sized box, wrapped in pink paper with bunny rabbits on it with a big pink bow on top.

After the clerk had left, Lina looked closer at the gift.

"Who do you think its from, Ms. Lina? " Amelia asked, lifting her teacup to sip.

"Well, whoever it was doesn't have any taste. I mean, L~sama, rabbits? Pink?"

"Pinks not bad..." Amelia mumbled to herself.

"Are you going to open it Lina?" Gourry asked her.

"I was thinking about it Gourry..." Lina replied somewhat sarcastically.

"It seems like a waste to just leave it sitting there." Zelgadiss said, leaning back in his chair, trying to not appear curious.

"Oh come on Zel, we know you looove bunnys, right Zelga-bunny?"

Zel gave Lina the "I-WILL-kill-you" look.

Lina gave Zel the "Not-before-I-dragon-slaved-your-a$$" look.

Amelia looked at both of them with the "Why-can't-we-all-just-get-along" look.

Gourry looked at them with his "Huh?" look. (not different from his regular look ^_^).

"Anyways.....Gourry, Go for it!" Lina tossed him the gift.

"What?" Gourry barely had time to catch the gift before it would have embedded itself into his forehead, "Geez Lina, thanks for the warning!"

Lina grinned, "No problem. Open that sucker up already!"

"Why do I have to?"

"Cause, crabby boy over there is in a mood, and Amelia looks like Fillia with her tea, and frankly its scarrying me!"

Amelia looked up from her tea, "It's really calming Ms. Lina".

"Um....yeah" turning back to Gourry, "OPEN IT!"

"Alright..." Gourry slowly opened it, setting it on the coffee table and slowly unwrapping it. All the others leaned forward a bit to try and see what it was. After an eternity, and only one side of the package unwrapped, Lina grew angry, "L~sama, by the time your done, the rest of shabranigdo will be ressurected!" she grabbed the gift off the coffee table and ruthlessly ripped off the paper and ribbon. Opening the box, she found...nothing but a lot of those little styro-foam S things that they use for packaging.

"What the-" Lina exclaimed, "All this over nothing! Damnit!" she threw the box across the room where it hit a wall and a small black rectangle bounced out of the bottom.

"Ah....what lovely tea....Oh, Ms. Lina, what's that?"

All of them turned to look at the rectangle box that had fallen out.

"What IS that?" Lina asked. Gourry shrugged.

"Actually, I've seen one of those before," Zelgadiss said in a quiet voice.

"Really, where?" Now all of them turned to look at Zel.

"Well, in that cave, where we were with Xellos before. There was one of those right on top of the glowing box."

"Hmmm....." Lina thought. And thought. And thought.

"I know! It must be of SOME value! We'll go to the cave as soon as the snow stops and find out what this is!"

Amelia and Gourry enthusiastically cheered, while Zelgadiss meekly put his fist in the air and said in the flatest voice, "Yeah."

**Outside, as if by some odd coincidence, the snow stopped.**

Early the next day, the group set off from the inn. The plan, get there, find out what the rectangle-thingy, named by Amelia Rectangle-san, was, steal the other one and get back to the inn.

The plan....didn't work.

They got there, Lina checked that off her mental "List of things to do for the day" list. But they couldn't find the other rectangle-san anywhere.

"Hey guys, look!" Zelgadiss was looking intently at a bigger box on top of the glowing box, which presently was the non-glowing box.

"What'd ya find Zel?" Lina asked, as the all rushed to look, pushing Zelgadiss into the box thingy.

"Do you guys mind? It's called P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L space! Get some!" a blush was setting against the chimera skined cheeks since a certain princess was especially pressed against him.

"Look! He's blushing!"

"I am NOT!"

"Anyways, what IS that?" Lina asked, looking at the box-thingy.

"I'm not sure, but its odd that-"

"Hey guys look! It fits in here!" Gourry shoved rectangle-san into the bigger rectangle-sama.

"No Gourry! We don't know what's gonna----" they yelled, but alas in vain. Gourry had already put the box in and the glowing box, formally known as the non-glowing box, began to glow again.

Ah, and there was that tingling feeling, as they all screamed and were YET AGAIN sucked into the boxy thingy.

Once they were gone, Xellos popped into his chair again, ready to have some more fun. "They were soooo amusing last time, I wonder whats on the agenda for today! ||^_^||"

"Not this time Xellos!" a booming voice came out of nowhere.

"What the-?"

****

The day was warm, and sunny. California, near the valley. A school day. A happy blonde in a yellow plaid skirt and jacket ensemble stands in a growing crowd of students witnessing yet another one of her best friends fights with her boyfriend.

"Do I look like I wear these nasty-a$$ kmart extenstions?"

"Baby! Is it that time of the month?"

The whole crowd gasps, as does the girl, who now looks completely lost. "what's going on?"

Her "boyfriend" looks at her, "Amelia?"

"Mr. Zelgadiss? Where ARE we?"

"Thats a good question, "the blonde said to them.

"Lina?" both Amelia and Zelgadiss exclaimed.

"L~sama, don't tell me we have to go thru THIS again!"

"Where's Gourry?"

"I dunno...." just then, perfectly timed, a preppy boy with the sweater-dockers ensemble and a cell phone to his ear walks up to them.

"Lina?" the guy asked her.

"Gourry? What are you holding?"

"I dunno, but someone's telling me to sell! sell!"

"Sell what Mr.gourry?"

"I have no idea...."

"Thats a shocker," Zelgadiss muttered.

"ANYways, we need to get out of here!" just then the bell rang. "What the heck was THAT!" all of the kids began to file into the school.

"Nows our chance! Lets go-what?!?!?"

They weren't there anymore. They....were dancing. On a bar top. In front of guys. Handing them green paper. Gourry and Zelgadiss among them.

Realizing what they were doing, and who they were doing it to, they quickly pulled their arms back, lest they be snatched off by Lina in a fit of anger.

Meanwhile Lina and Amelia continued dancing because their feet literally would not stop.

Amelia, almost tearing up, cryed, "L~sama, stop the insanity!"

And it did. For a second or two. Then the four of them were running....why were they running?

"Why are we running!" Amelia yelled.

"I don't know!" Lina yelled back.

"I just have a feeling we should keep running!" Gourry yelled, flaring his arms around.

"I've had enough of this!" Zelgadiss stopped abruptly, causing Gourry to run into him, Lina running into Gourry, and Amelia running into Lina. (chain reaction)

Then, from where they had just been running, a person in a big black robe and a big weird white distorted mask on his head, covering his whole body up. And he ran at them with a big knife.

Lina, Gourry, and Amelia all screamed, "O.O AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zelgadiss got his cocky look (remember, he's a CHIMERA) and stepped in front of them.

The man charged Zelgadiss and stabbed him with the knife. Suprising, it didn't break off, it went into the hilt and a long stream of red blood came pouring out.

Lina, Gourry and Amelia all screamed again, "O.O AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zelgadiss, laughed and looked down, saw the blood and stopped laughing. "What the-? I'm bleeding?"

The man pulled the knife back and whipped off his mask.

"Ha Ha! GOTCHA!!! ||^_^||"

(I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.)

"Xellos!!!!" all of them yelled at him.

"How lovely to see you all again! ||^_^||"

Immediately Lina had him in a head lock and on the ground. You god d@#$ mazoku namagomi @#$%@#$#@@!"

"Ms. Lina," Amelia gasped.

"Please! I have nothing to do with this! For once this was not me!" Xellos pleaded, losing feeling in his head.

"Well, who is behind it then? Zelgadiss asked him.

"Sore wa himitsu desu! ||^_~||" immediately after saying that, Zelgadiss was also trying to choke him.

"Mr.Zelgadiss! Ms.Lina!"

"Come on guys, let him go, he can probably help us out of here."

All of them looked at Gourry, having heard him say something that made sense.

"What?" Gourry looked at them and as he watched, they were suddenly somewhere else. Amelia and Xellos were gone, Lina was hanging out of a tree and for some reason he had the strongest urge to say....

"The only way off this planet is through me!" then he blinked, and looked at the gigantic cockroach in front of him. The cockroach that looked like....

"This is NOT amusing...." Mr. Zelga-Roach said.

"Can someone help me out of this tree?"

"I have a really strong urge to eat flesh......" Mr.Zelga-Roach said then turned bluer that the chimera cockroach he was, "Did I just say that? Ew...."

"Hmm...I'm Black...This is interesting..." Gourry had found a shiny metallic paneling of a spaceship with glowing lights and was admiring his self in his suit, "Why do I want to sing about men in black? And how their galaxy protectors?"

"Um Hi guys! See me! Hi! I'm in a TREE! HELP ME OUT HERE!"

And they weren't there any more....But we'll get to that in a second.

Amelia was cold. She could see her breath. Cuddled up in her blanket, she faced the man who was her phsyciatrist and said, in the calmest voice she could, "I see dead people..."

Her Phsyciatrist nodded, "Of course you do! ||^_^|| I'm not really alive! And there's Fred here to my right, and George to my left here, and I don't know what you did to Ralph, but he's pretty pissed! He's standing behind you with a rope!"

Amelia just looked at him, "O.o"

Xellos looked back, "||^_^||"

And then they were all somewhere else. They were on a boat. In the middle of no where, no land anywhere to be seen. And they were all lounging out on the boats tiny deck.

Gourry, who was sitting in a chair and fishing, looked at the others, "This isn't that bad."

Lina groaned, "Please, PLEASE don't jinx us Gourry!'

"Well, what I'm saying is, what could possibly happen?"

Everyone, even including Xellos, groaned.

And then came the music, floating to them out of nowhere.

Da dum.

"What was that?" Amelia asked

Da dum.

"I...dunno...." Lina answered, sitting up.

Da dum. Da dum

"This CAN'T be good..." Zelgadiss groaned.

Da dum Da dum Da dum

"Oh, and you know everything thats good and bad? ||^_^||"

Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum

"Shut up Fruitcake!"

Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum

"Guys this isn't the time!" Lina yelled at them.

"Guys, whats that in the water over there?" Amelia pointed to a spot a little bit away from the boat.

A black fin broke through the water, coming rapidly towards the boat.

"Uh- oh....." All of them said in unison.

Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da dumDa dum Da dum Da dum Da dum Da DA!!!!!!!!!!

All of them gasped in horror as the fin reached the boat and then suddenly out from the water came.......

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!"

....NAGA!

"Naga?!?!?" all of them yelled (even the ones that never met her before)

"I've finally got you all! OHOHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHO!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" all on the boat, even Xellos, held their hands to their ears and jumped off their boat, swimming away as fast as hummanly, demonly, and chimeraly possible (lets just say Zelgadiss had a real good head start).

Naga stood on the boat and scratched her head. "I wonder what their problem is? Oh well." She then disappeared from the boat.

And somewhere, far far away, A woman sat laughing, watching the show, smoking her cigarette and occasionally sipping her wine.

"I just HAD to see what'd they'd do if I sent Naga in there!" she laughed again and shook back her blonde hair, then put her hand down to pet one of her many wolves. "That'll teach Xellos to have fun without me!"

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To be continued....yes, I'm sorry, It WILL be! ^_^