Things That Go 'Mwahaha' in the Night
~Part 6: The Question: Truth or Dare? And Who will Survive?~
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, or anything else mentioned in this entire story…except for Starseeker, who is me. I'm making references to a few fanfics in here…which I didn't write. See if you can figure out which ones…they're listed at the end of the chapter.
Notes: Did this make up for the other short chapters? I wanted a whole chapter devoted to Truth or Dare, so here it is! Please review!! I love reviews! Thanks, now you can read it. Oh, and there's a little shounen ai (spelling?) in here, too…very, very mild, though. Just a few 3x4 references…so don't kill me if you're not a shounen ai fan…please don't. Really, I'm too young to die.
~*~
Relena: Starseeker, you're scaring me…
Starseeker: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Relena: Eeep.
*Everyone's upstairs in one of the bigger rooms. Strangely enough, the room isn't creepy looking*
Hilde: This is even weirder than downstairs.
*Everyone else agrees*
Catherine: So what are the rules?
Hilde: Are there any consequences?
Relena: How about we get one consequence? The person giving the dare gets to choose it.
Catherine: Good idea, Relena! (I think that's the only time I'll EVER say that…)
Starseeker: (Heh heh, Relena bashing…)
Relena: It has to be worth skipping a dare…
Hilde: So it's gotta be good!
Lady Une: This is gonna be a LOOOOONG night.
Relena: I have a feeling that this'll be very interesting… *Glares at Starseeker, who grins back*
Dorothy: Hey! What about yaoi and yuri?
Starseeker: *Shrugs* I don't mind, do you?
*Everyone sweatdrops*
Starseeker: Hey, there IS a consequence if you don't want to deal with it. I'm allowing guy/guy and girl/girl pairs.
Relena: But why?
Starseeker: *Shrugs* I may decide to write a story like that some day. This'll be good practice.
*Everyone facevaults*
Duo: Oww…did anyone ever mention that facevaulting is PAINFUL?
*Everyone sweatdrops*
Catherine: Let's just start the game.
Hilde: Who goes first?
Starseeker: Um…Catherine.
Catherine: Why me?
Starseeker: If you put your names in order, you're first.
*Everyone sweatdrops yet again*
Catherine: Okay…uh, who should I pick?
Starseeker: Whoever you want.
Catherine: Okay, I pick you, Star!
Starseeker: NO way! I'm not playing! *Disappears to write the story in peace*
Relena: If she can do that, then why doesn't she just get us out of here?
Starseeker: I'm still in the house. I just made myself invisible to you. You might like to enjoy the game without me.
Relena: Whatever. Catherine, it's your turn.
Catherine: Um…I pick…Hilde! Truth or dare?
Hilde: Huh?!
Catherine: You heard me. Truth or dare?
Hilde: Uh…um…truth?
Catherine: Okay…is it true that and Duo are together?
Hilde: What do you think?
Catherine: Ohhh yeah! Sorry, I forgot about the Monopoly thing… Okay. Your turn.
Hilde: Let's see… How about…Trowa.
Trowa: …?
Hilde: Truth or dare?
Trowa: Truth.
Hilde: Uh, okay. Lessee…are you and Quatre together?
Trowa: Huh?!
Hilde: As in, together?
*Quatre turns a deep shade of red. Trowa forces himself not to blush*
Trowa: Um…no? *Crosses his fingers behind his back*
Hilde: Okay…
Trowa: My turn? *Hilde nods* Dorothy. Truth or dare.
Dorothy: Dare!
Trowa: Okay then. Let Duo fix your hair.
Dorothy: What?! What's the consequence?
Trowa: Kissing Duo.
Dorothy and Duo Together: What?!
Dorothy: Grrr…fine. Duo can mess with my hair.
Duo: *Evil grin* Heh heh heh…
Dorothy: Wufei! Truth or dare?
Wufei: … *Sweatdrops* Truth?
Dorothy: Okay then…I heard a rumor that you like Sailor Moon. Is that true?
Wufei: NO!!! That pathetic weakling!! I can fight MUCH better than she can!
*Sally giggles*
Wufei: What're you giggling for?
Sally: Nothing…just had a mental picture…
Wufei: Of what?
Sally: You DON'T want to know.
Wufei: Okay, it's my turn. Let's see…Duo. Truth or dare?
Duo: Truth.
Wufei: *Mutters* Weakling.
Duo: I heard that!
Wufei: Are you a cross-dresser?
Duo: What?! Who told you that?
Wufei: No one…
Duo: Oh well. It's my turn! And I pick…Relena!
Relena: I'll take a dare.
Duo: Okay… *Evil grin* I dare you to…switch clothes with Heero!
Heero: ?!
Relena: Where'd you come up with that? Have you been reading fan fiction again? [1]
Duo: …yes…
Heero: Damn fan fics.
Duo: Will you switch clothes? Or do you want the consequence?
Relena: What is it?
Duo: Dance.
Relena: *Thinks for a moment, and knows she's a terrible dancer…* (No, I don't want to embarrass myself THAT much…) Um…okay, fine. Come on, Heero.
*Relena drags Heero out of the room so they can switch clothes.*
Relena: (Ugh, and he's wearing the spandex too!)
Heero: (I can't believe I have to wear her school uniform…Duo is gonna get it…)
*Everyone -except for Duo (who is still messing with Dorothy's hair) and Dorothy- leaves the room to see if they say anything to each other.
*Crash!*
Relena: Ouch!
*Bonk!*
Heero: That was my head!
Relena: Sorry! I can't see anything!
Heero: Then turn on the light!
Relena: NO!!
*Click* (Heero turns on the light)
Relena: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Heero: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Relena: Turn it off!
*Click!* (Light goes off)
*Crash!*
Relena: Owwww!
Heero: Duo! Omae o korosu!!
Duo: *From the other room* Uh-oh…
*The door starts to open*
Hilde: Everyone run!
*Everyone goes back into the other room and waits for Heero and Relena to come back*
Heero: I am NOT going in there.
Relena: Heero, I look just as ridiculous as you. Come ON!
*Relena drags poor Heero into the room. She's wearing his green shirt, and it's inside out. She's also wearing the spandex shorts, and they seem to be a little too small*
Relena: How can you wear these things?
Heero: They stretch.
Relena: Or they're SUPPOSED to.
*Heero is wearing Relena's school uniform from the Peacecraft academy. The jacket's on backwards, and it's a few sized too big*
Heero: *Glares at Duo*
*Hilde is in tears on the floor. She can't talk because she's laughing so much*
Hilde: Hah hah hah! Y-you-… *Can't formulate a whole sentence. She looks at them again and cracks up some more*
Heero: *Gives Hilde and Duo the Death Glare* Omae o korosu, Duo.
Hilde: *Calms down long enough to say…* Y'know, it's hard for ANYONE to take you serious when you're dressed like THAT.
Heero: Damnit.
*Relena and Heero sit down*
Duo: *Says very suddenly* Finished!
*Everyone looks over at Dorothy and gapes. Her hair is lime green. It's cut very poorly and very messy. There are also little hair clips randomly placed all over her head*
*No one says anything for a minute. Then everyone except for Duo and Dorothy start laughing*
Dorothy: What's so funny?! Duo, what did you do?
*Duo hands Dorothy a mirror*
Dorothy: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
*Duo starts laughing*
Dorothy: It's GREEN! That'll NEVER come out!
Duo: Well, Relena, it's your turn.
Relena: Okay…who should I pick? Um…Catherine!
Catherine: Me?
Relena: Yes. Truth or dare?
Catherine: Um…truth.
Relena: Okay. Is Trowa really your brother?
Catherine: Yeah. My turn again? *Relena nods* Okay…this time I'm going with…Sally! Truth or dare?
Sally: Dare!
Catherine: Okay…I dare you to…kiss Wufei!
Sally and Wufei: What?! *Sally and Wufei look at each other in alarm*
Sally: That…shouldn't be too bad…
Catherine: Make that a French kiss.
Sally: What?!
Wufei: I agree…what?!
Catherine: C'mon, you know you want to.
*They both sweatdrop*
Sally: What's the consequence?
*Catherine pulls a bunny suit out of Hammerspace and hands it to Sally*
Catherine: You have to wear THIS all night.
*Sally sweatdrops and French kisses Wufei*
Catherine: See? That wasn't too bad, was it?
*Sally glares at Catherine*
Sally: Let's see…um…Zechs!
Zechs: What?
Sally: Truth or dare?
Zechs: Um…I'll do a dare.
Sally: *Evil grin* Okay…I dare you to… *Looks over at the CD player and a stack of CDs* You have to dance to Britney Spears! [2]
Zechs: WHAT?!
Sally: Or you get to wear the bunny suit.
*Zechs sweatdrops and then facevaults*
Zechs: I'll make a deal with you. I'll *gulp* wear the bunny suit for 10 minutes and then I'm taking it off. But I am NOT dancing, got it?
Sally: Ten minutes is good enough. *Gets her camera ready*
*Zechs leaves the room grumbling and then comes back with the bunny suit on*
Zechs: Happy?
Sally: Very. *Pulls out her camera very quickly and snaps a picture before Zechs notices*
Zechs: Okay…who's next? *Looks around the room* Treize. Your turn.
Treize: I'll take truth.
Zechs: Okay…which of Lady Une's personalities do you like more?
*Treize looks at Lady Une*
Treize: Well, it's hard to decide-
*Lady Une glares at him with her evil personality*
Treize: *Gulps* I guess…whichever one she's in at the time.
Zechs: Okay…your turn.
Treize: Duo, truth or dare?
Duo: Well, uh…I'll take a dare, I guess.
*Lady Une whispers something into Treize's ear*
Starseeker: No! Too nasty!
Lady Une: Not in front of US!
Starseeker: Um…no!
*Lady Une finishes her whisper*
Treize: Okay…your dare is to…kiss Relena.
Duo: WHAT?! Heero's already pissed at me, I don't want him more angry!!
*Lady Une whispers something else to Treize*
Treize: Oh, I forgot. You have to let Heero have a gun, too.
*Heero's eyes light up and he smiles evilly*
Duo: What's the consequence?
Treize: The bunny suit.
Duo: NO way, pal! The God of Death does NOT wear a bunny suit!
Zechs: Damn.
*Sally takes another picture, and he notices this time*
Zechs: What the… give me that camera!
*Zechs chases Sally around the room but doesn't catch her*
Duo: Fine, I'll kiss Relena and give Heero the gun.
*Duo gives Heero a real gun, because Heero will know if it's fake, and proceeds to kiss Relena very quickly*
Duo: Happy?
Treize: No, but it's your turn now.
Duo: What do you mean, 'no'?
Treize: I was hoping he'd shoot you.
Duo: WHAT?!?!
Treize: It'd make things more interesting.
*Heero takes aim and shoots at Duo, who jumps up and gets out of the way just in time*
Duo: What're you tryin' to do, kill me?!
Heero: …yes.
Duo: Man, I knew you were suicidal, but not homicidal too!
*Heero shoots at Duo again, but realizes that he probably looks ridiculous because he's wearing Relena's clothes*
Heero: Duo-
Duo: Yeah, yeah, I know. Omae o korosu, right?
Heero: Yeah.
*Relena takes the gun away from Heero*
Relena: What do you want to shoot him for? [3]
Heero: That was a dumb question.
Relena: You're right.
Duo: Well, it's my turn any ways. And I'm gonna ask Quatre. Truth or dare?
Quatre: Um…dare!
Duo: Okay…I dare you to…wear the bunny suit!
Quatre: And the consequence…?
Duo: Get a bottle of wine and drink 3 glasses of it.
Quatre: …why?
Duo: I dunno…it just seems like it'll be a good idea. I mean, you're into the non-alcoholic stuff…so why not?
*Quatre leaves to go down to the wine cellar*
Duo: I didn't think he would wear the bunny suit.
Zechs: *Still chasing Sally* Damn. Isn't my 10 minutes up?
Everyone else: No.
Zechs: I'll say it again…damn.
*Quatre comes back with a bottle of wine and a glass*
Duo: It can't be non-alcoholic.
Quatre: *Sigh* It isn't.
*He drinks 3 glasses and looks around*
Quatre: Oh, it's my turn…right?
Duo: Yep.
Quatre: Um…Trowa!
Trowa: Truth.
Quatre: Exactly how much hair gel do you use to keep your hair like that?
Trowa: Let's see…I get one case per week. Each case has 28 bottles…4 bottles per day.
Quatre: Per DAY?
Trowa: Yeah. Let's see…Dorothy.
Dorothy: *Mourning over her messed-up hair* Truth!!!
Trowa: How did you get your eyebrows like that? Did you have some kind of extensions?
Dorothy: They're stick-ons.
Trowa: Okay…
Dorothy: My turn! Hmm…Heero. Truth or dare?
*Heero considers this question for a moment and then looks down at what the last dare caused*
Heero: Truth.
Dorothy: What's your favorite color?
Heero: What's the point of that question?
Dorothy: Well, I've had sources that say it's pink.
Heero: PINK?! No way.
Dorothy: That's what I wanted to know. Your turn.
*Heero grins evilly*
Heero: Duo…truth or dare?
Duo: Me again?! Why's everyone picking on me?
Starseeker: Sorry, I just had a lot of good dares and stuff for you.
Duo: Okay, okay. Dare.
Heero: I dare you to…let Dorothy mess with your hair.
Duo: WHAT?!
Heero: The consequence is…
Duo: The bunny suit?
Heero: No…you have to dress up like a girl and give one of the guys a lap dance.
Duo: Damn. Heero, you're cruel. I guess…I'll let Dorothy mess with my hair.
Dorothy: YES! Payback! Hah hah! SOMEONE GET ME SOME SCISSORS!!
Duo: Oh man, what have I gotten myself into?
Dorothy: I'll also need some hair spray, lots of gel –Trowa, can you help me with that? –Um, some little hair clips, that spray-on color… *Pulls all the stuff out of Hammerspace and gets to work* Don't worry Duo, you're gonna look MUCH better when I'm done…
Relena: Should we be worried?
Heero: Serves him right.
Duo: Oh, it's my turn! Let's see…let's see…who should I pick? How about…Noin! You haven't had a turn yet, have you?
Noin: Um…no…
Duo: Well then, truth or dare?
Noin: Truth, I guess.
Duo: Okay…damn, I can't think of a good question. Ever had a hangover?
Noin: Once, but I'm not going into it.
Duo: Jeez, fine then. Your turn.
Noin: Hmm…Wufei, truth or dare?
Wufei: Dare!
Noin: I dare you to…well, I'm taking this from Heero. Dress like a girl and give a lap dance to the guy of your choice.
Wufei: The consequence?
*Noin pulls a pair of Sailor Moon boxers out of Hammerspace*
Noin: You have to wear THESE.
Wufei: But…but…injustice! Oh, fine! *Grabs the Sailor Moon boxers and leaves for a minute. He changes into them and comes back*
Wufei: Now it's my turn. Relena, truth or dare?
Relena: I'll take a dare…
Wufei: You have to eat Heero's cooking. [4]
Relena: But…he cooks almost as bad as I do! What's the consequence?
Wufei: Bunny suit.
Relena: I suppose I could survive Heero's cooking…not too much of it, though.
Heero: Are you implying that my cooking sucks?
Duo: You hit the nail on the head, buddy.
Heero: Duo…
Duo: Yeah, yeah, omae o korosu and all that crap. Now, get to cookin'! OW!! *Duo yells as Dorothy pulls his hair*
Dorothy: Sorry.
Duo: Are you almost done?
Dorothy: Not quite… *Gets some glitter* It could take a while.
*Duo sweatdrops*
Duo: I have a feeling that I'm not gonna like whatever you do to my hair.
Dorothy: Oh, but Duo, that's the point.
Duo: Damn.
Relena: Before I go…Hilde! Truth or dare?
Hilde: Um, I chose truth last time…how about a dare?
Relena: Okay…I dare you to…
*Heero whispers something in her ear*
Relena: Good idea! Hilde, I dare you to kiss Trowa!
Hilde: And the consequence?
Relena: Kissing Dorothy.
Hilde: Okay… *Goes over and gives Trowa a kiss on the cheek*
Relena: Well…I guess that counts. It's your turn.
Hilde: Quatre, truth or dare?
Quatre: I'll take another dare.
Hilde: The dare is to…oh, jeez, why not? Dress like a girl and give a lap dance to the guy of your choice, or drink 3 more glasses of wine.
Quatre: Well… (This is tough…but…I dunno, I guess I'll go with the wine.) *Pours and drinks 3 glasses and starts to feel a little…uh, tipsy…*
*Heero and Relena go downstairs into the kitchen. Heero grudgingly starts to cook. After a while the others smell strange scents coming from the kitchen…*
Quatre: Maybe someone should go check it out…
*Everyone looks at him*
Quatre: Maybe not… *Shrugs indifferently*
Trowa: No, you're right. Maybe we should make sure that everyone's still alive down there.
Quatre: Really? *Trowa nods* Okay, let's go.
*Trowa and Quatre leave the room*
Catherine: We need to wait for Quatre to get back so we can finish…*
Starseeker: Choose someone else to go.
Catherine: Why?
*Starseeker appears in the room and doesn't say anything*
Catherine: …oh. Why don't YOU start?
Starseeker: Me? I've never been good at truth or dare…well, except for that one time…but I was hyper. VERY hyper.
Hilde: How about we take a break for a while?
*Everyone agrees*
*Wufei and Sally take out a deck of cards*
Sally: Go fish? You sure? I mean, I don't want to cheat, er, take all your money…
Wufei: This time, we play for candy.
*Noin and Zechs walk over*
Noin: Can we play, too?
Hilde: Hey, here's the Monopoly board!
Duo: Cool!
Dorothy: Done!
*Duo looks in a mirror. His bangs are clipped back messily, and his hair –jaggedly cut is tied up like Sailor Moon's…only it's all different colors. Parts of it are blue, purple, green, or glittery. Duo screams, again, like when Deathscythe was destroyed*
Duo: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! My hair, my beautiful hair!
*Everyone else stops what they're doing and sweatdrops*
Duo: I'll get you for this Dorothy…if it's the LAST thing I do!
*Dorothy just smiles…a look of evil in her eyes*
Hilde: Duo, get over it and come play Monopoly.
Treize: Can we play?
Hilde: Sure!
*Starseeker pulls out a deck of UNO cards*
Starseeker: *To Catherine* Wanna play?
Catherine: Sure.
*Dorothy is watching the others set up Monopoly*
Dorothy: Can I play, too?
Duo: *Trying to undo what she's done to his poor hair.* As long as you stay away from me.
Now, if you don't remember, here's what everyone's doing
Heero: Cooking (If that's what you could call it…)
Relena: Watching Heero 'cook'.
Duo: Playing Monopoly.
Hilde: Playing Monopoly.
Trowa: Who knows?
Catherine: Playing Uno.
Quatre: Who knows?
Dorothy: Playing Monopoly.
Wufei: Playing Go Fish.
Sally: Playing Go Fish.
Zechs: Playing Go Fish.
Noin: Playing Go Fish.
Treize: Playing Monopoly.
Lady Une: Playing Monopoly.
Starseeker: Playing Uno.
Will Relena survive Heero's cooking? Who will win in Go Fish, Monopoly, and Uno? When will this story end?! And what *are* Trowa and Quatre doing? Find the answers to these questions (Well, maybe not the last one…) in part 7!
[1] Referring to the fanfic "A Night when Hell Breaks Loose".
[2] I know that this is way in the future, but I had to think up something funny!
[3] Relena said this line referring to Heero in one of the earliest episodes of the English version…
[4] This is kind of referring to the story "Relena *Can't* Cook". But I doubt that Heero can cook either…