A/N: It's the
last chapter! The conclusion! I've finished my first series! I'm so PROUD! And,
for the last time, so no one sues me for the nothing that I have tons of,
everything goes to the omniscient and omnipotent Joanne Rowling. The last
version of thank you's are at the end (by the way…there were a depressing
amount of reviews. This is the last chapter…please?).
Quote of the Day: "Where is he? Where's the creep that turned me into a spider eating man bitch?"---Xander, BVS
The Deepest, Most Desperate Desire of Our Hearts, Ch. 05
I slowly stand up from my desk, yawning. I take
a quick look outside, and see only darkness. I have been grading papers since
the Gryffindors, my last class, left. I felt ashamed of the torture and the
pain I had put them through, but Dumbledore thinks it is the right thing. When
he originally told me about his idea, I thought it would be fun. A
light-hearted class. Everyone seeing their deepest desire, pleased to see what
they really wanted. After seeing four classes of children crying and screaming,
I think my heart is scarred for life. I have only peeked into the Mirror of
Erised once, in my fifth year, on one of the Marauders' nightly escapades. But
back then, what I saw was still a possibility. A "possibility" that never did,
and never will, become real.
Taking
another look outside, I see the almost full moon. I make a mental note to take
the Wolfsbane Potion, before I realize I don't have to take it for ten more
months. I shake my head with a slight smile on my face. These advances are
getting too much for me.
I
gather up all my books, papers, and such, and pile them into my bag. A stray
bottle of ink rolls across the floor. I follow it, picking up speed as it does,
lunging after it. Why did I buy
Independent Ink? I think to myself, sighing. The midnight blue bottle
suddenly stops. I dive forward and catch it before it can move off again. Right
where it had stopped, a golden-clawed foot catches my eye. Looking up, I see
the gilded back of the Mirror. Dropping the bottle of ink, I stare at it for a
moment, remembering….
Coming
back to my senses, I walk over to the opposite corner of the classroom and drag
the heavy mauve cloth over to the Mirror. I squint, trying not to look in. No
one would be there to drag me away if I got caught in its trap. Hoisting up the
purple cover onto my shoulder, I prepare to throw it over the Mirror. But as I
take a step, ready to throw it, I step on the rolling ink bottle. I fall, the
musty cloth flying off my shoulder. My eyes widen in shock, and I see a glimpse
of the Mirror's surface. A flash of red, that's it. But it's enough. I close my
eyes tightly, trying to defend myself from the siren song. I can tell it will
be the same image I had seen so many years ago. But nothing will protect me. My
eyes pry open, as if having a will of their own…
There
she is, standing a distance away. A smile lights up her beautiful face, her
bright emerald eyes sparkling with joy. Her tumbling dark red hair contrasts
wonderfully with her alabaster skin. She wears a bridal dress, white sequins
and ivory lace everywhere. She is gorgeous. She is Lily.
My
heart pounds violently in my chest. I see myself, a Mirror image of myself, in
a tuxedo, standing nervously at an altar. Sirius and James stand to my left,
Dumbledore to my right. As if in slow motion, the flower girl, ring boy, and
bridesmaids walk down the aisle. And suddenly, there is Lily, her hand on the
arm of her father, who is smiling proudly. They gracefully walk down the aisle.
She is a breathtaking sight, stunning and lovely. She reaches the altar,
squeezes Mirror-Remus' hand affectionately, and they both turn toward
Dumbledore. After eternal minutes, I see Albus' mouth form the words, "You may
kiss the bride." Mirror-Remus and Lily turn toward each other, and their lips
softly meet. Back in the real world, I scream.
I
remember that day in reality all too well. The marriage of Lily Evans and James
Potter. My love and my best friend.
~*~
"Moony, I have to tell you, I'm really
nervous right now," James said to me quietly as he adjusted his tux in the back
room. I slapped him playfully on the back, all the while feeling utterly
nauseous inside.
"Come on, Prongs. It's just the
pre-wedding jitters. You and Lily are perfect for each other!" I reassured him. No, no, that's not right…Lily and I are perfect for each other,
I thought to myself. James smiled and
took a deep breath.
"You're right-" he began, when
Sirius burst into the room. He held up a long strip of red cloth.
"Hey, where do you want these to
go?" he said mischievously. I looked at them closely.
"Are those…Bouncing Banners?" I
asked him. He nodded sheepishly, acknowledging the banners he held were the
ones that constantly dropped bouncing, springy balls on whoever was below them.
James turned on him angrily.
"Padfoot, you know that this is a Muggle wedding! Lily's family is here!" he hissed. "I
don't want to have to do Memory Charms on all of them!" Sirius shrunk back.
"Sorry, Prongsy boy, sorry! It was
just a joke…never will happen again, I promise," Sirius said quickly. James sank down into a nearby chair, putting
his head in his hands.
"No, Sirius, I'm sorry. I know you
were just kidding. I'm just so scared. What if she doesn't show up? Or says, 'I
don't' at the altar? What am I going to do then?" Sirius grinned.
"Then? Then you'll bugger off and
Lily will be mine," he replied merrily. My stomach clenched. That's exactly
what I had been thinking, except that it wasn't a joke for me. "C'mon, you
bloody git, if Lily loved you any more, you two would be arrested for public
indecency!" James laughed, and stood up.
"You're right, both of you," he
said. Then he froze and blinked. "Where's Peter?" I looked out the window.
"He just got here. He said he might
not arrive early because of that meeting he had, remember?" James nodded his
agreement, and the three of us went out the door.
A half an hour later, we were at the
altar. The music started up, and the flower girl and ring boy walked jauntily
down the aisle. Following them came the bridesmaids, Lily's sister Petunia,
with a sour look on her face, Samantha Colby and Christina Longbottom (Lily's friends from Hogwarts), and McGonagall.
Us four Marauders almost burst out laughing at the sight of her in a dress, and
a pink one at that. She made a small face at us as she reached the altar.
I suddenly saw James break out into
a sweat, and he gasped. Everyone in the Muggle church turned around. There was
Lily.
I desperately wanted to jump off the
altar, run to her, take her in my arms, and kiss her right then and there. But of course I couldn't. I would never be
able to satisfy the love I had felt for her since we met on the train in first
year. She was for James, now. I had missed my chance.
Dumbledore, as the priest, began the
ceremony. About halfway through, Severus Snape slipped into the room with a
grim look on his face. Yes, James and Lily had decided to invite him, and he
had decided to come. I knew why. I was the one who caught him writing a love
letter to Lily at the end of seventh year. He made me promise not to tell, and
I said I wouldn't tell as long as he kept my
secret confidential. I wouldn't ever tell, though. I understood how he felt.
"You may kiss the bride." James
turned to Lily, and carefully slid an emerald ring onto her finger, an emerald that
matched her green eyes. Green eyes that were filled with joyful tears. They
kissed, a kiss so sweet and full of love, full of expectations for the future.
Sirius started bawling hysterically, Peter clapped stupidly, Snape sneered and
left the room, and I almost threw up.
Three years later, Lily Potter died.
My heart died with her.
~*~
A
hand touches my shoulder and brings me back into the present. I am reminded of
myself doing the same to Harry earlier. Harry, who saw James and Lily in the
Mirror for himself, and wants them back just as much as I do. I feel a sudden
kinship with him.
I
look into the friendly blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore. He smiles gently and pats
me on the shoulder.
"Remus,
it is not a good thing to dwell on the past. What happened, happened. It was
meant to be. Nothing you could have done would have ever changed it. This
Mirror shows the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. Sometimes our
hearts can be foolish…and sometimes they can be the truest things in the world,
the only things we can depend on. Remus Lupin, it is up to you to decide which
one it is for you. I understand,
believe it or not. I do understand what you're going through, a love lost to
another. You have to move on. I'm sure you can do it," Dumbledore tells me
softly. He pats my shoulder again, and leaves the room.
I
sit on the floor there for a while, my back to the Mirror, just thinking. I
finally come to my conclusion. I stand up, and drape the purple cover for the
Mirror over to it. Once again, I hoist it up on my shoulder. Bending my knees,
I heave it upwards.
The
cloth falls gently down, covering the Mirror of Erised, and finally putting my
past to rest.
~*~FINITE
INCANTATEM~*~
A/N: MAJOR thanks and a big ol' jar of Bertie Bott's
Every Flavor Beans go to: Ally, Justin's Future Wife, Rosmerta, alex, Kia, and
dani.
Pleeeeeeeease read this important author's note! I have many things to say. First of all, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed. I love you all!!! This is my first series, and I actually finished it. And I got reviews! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Second of all, a lot of people have written in their reviews that they would like to know what Draco, Dumbledore, Sirius, etc. would see. If I get enough reviews for this section with enough people saying they want it, I'll write a sequel series with some other theme (this one was Gryffindor people, if you didn't realize that). But if I do decide to do another series, it will be a few weeks (maybe a month, a little more) until it comes out, because I like to write the whole series before posting any parts. I guess you'll just have to put me on AuthorAlert to see when it is coming out. *hint hint, wink wink* I think that's all. Thanks again, everyone! JJJ