Much Ado About Nothing: Act I, Scene I
By Izzy
Rated G
Hey everyone! I've gots a lot of time on my hands and is sort of at a stump for more fics. I wanna write a sort of saga. If you've got any ideas write it out in detail and send it to prncssprsfne@yahoo.com. And some peeps asked for a sequel to 'In the End.' I'm at a block. Any ideas? Email them to me too. Thanks a lot. Oh yeah, the g-boys & co. do not belong to me. Neither does Much Ado About Nothing. As if you didn't know. And this doesn't have as much humor it in. Sorry. I was just concentrating on figuring out the english meaning of everything they were saying. it was very hard. Go read the casting but i'll give you the rundown now:
Don Pedro (prince of Arragon): Wufei
Don John (Don Pedro's brother): Trowa
Claudio (young lord of Florence): Duo
Benedick (young lord of Padua): Heero
Leonato (governor of Messina): Treize
Antonio (Leonato's brother): Milliardo
Balthasar (attendant on Don Pedro): Sally
Conrade (follower of Don John): Noin
Borachio (follower of Don John): Dorothy
Friar Francis: Quatre
Dogberry (the constable): Cathrine
Hero (daughter to Leonato): Hilde
Beatrice (daughter to Antonio): Relena
Margaret (attendant on Hero): Sailor Neptune
Ursula (attendant on Hero): Sailor Uranus
**Sailor Neptune and Uranus are there to basically keep everyone in control but since there was no one left I gave them parts. Also, extras will be played by themselves. i.e. the boy will be played by the boy, the sexton will be played by the sexton. Now on with the show!!!
IZZY: Everyone! Listen up! Do you have your scripts. You were supposed to memorize your lines last night. So you better have it down. We're gonna begin practice, okay? Act I, scene I: in front of Leonato's house. Treize, Hilde, Relena: you're on! Somebody get the messenger onto stage!
DUO: *throws messenger onto stage*
TREIZE, HILDE, and RELENA: *shuffle onto stage*
IZZY: *sits down in director's chair labeled 'Izzy-chan' on the back* Action!
TREIZE/LEONATO: In this letter, *gestures to letter in hand* I learn that Don Pedro of Arragon will arrive here in Messina tonight.
MESSENGER: He is very near right now.
TREIZE/LEONATO: I also learn that Don Pedro has bestowed much honor on Claudio, a Florentine.
MESSENGER: Honor is deserved on both parts.
RELENA/BEATRICE: Has Signior Mountanto returned from the wars, or no? ... um, Izzy-chan, what does 'mountanto' mean?
IZZY: *sighs* You guys were doing great. Why'd you have to stop?
TREIZE and HILDE: *glare at Relena*
IZZY: Mountanto is a fencing term for an upward thrust. *hides dictionary again*
RELENA: Oh.
IZZY: Keep on going.
MESSENGER: I don't know anyone of that name.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Who do you mean, niece?
HILDE/HERO: My cousin, Beatrice, means Signior Benedick of Padua.
MESSENGER: Oh! He's returned and as pleasant as ever.
RELENA: How many has he killed in these wars?
MESSENGER: He has done good service, my lady.
DUO: *interrupting* Why the heck would she want to know how many people Benedick killed?
IZZY: Duo. Shut up. Please, continue.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Sir, you must not mistake my niece. There is a kind of war between Signior Benedick and Her. They never meet without a clash of wit.
RELENA/BEATRICE: In our last conflict, four of his five wits went halting off. Four of five?
IZZY: Relena, you really like interruptions, don't you? The five wits are common wit, imagination, fantasy, judgment and memory. Now keep on going.
RELENA/BEATRICE: Now there is little difference between him and his horse. Who is his companion now? He has a new sworn brother every month.
MESSENGER: Is it possible?
RELENA/BEATRICE: Quite. His faith is like his hat; it changes with the next block.
MESSENGER: I see he is not in your books.
RELENA/BEATRICE: If he was I would burn my study. Now, who?
MESSENGER: He is in company of the noble Claudio. Look! Don Pedro is approaching.
IZZY: *turns around only to see the rest of the group playing spin the bottle on the polished oak wood floor. Milliardo and Noin are making out and haven't come up for air in the last five minutes. Dorothy is about to kiss Quatre who looks quite terrified* Everyone, stop doing that. No more kissing today!
DOROTHY: *ignores Izzy and continues to try to kiss Quatre*
IZZY: Dorothy! The rules don't exclude you.
DOROTHY: *keeps on ignoring*
IZZY: Sailor Uranus, a little help.
SAILOR URANUS: *grabs Dorothy and ties her to a chair and puts a piece of tape over her mouth*
IZZY: *turns away only to see Milliardo and Noin still going at it* Neptune!
SAILOR NEPTUNE: *walks up to Milliardo and Noin and taps them on the shoulder. They ignore her and she yells in their ears to stop. They can't hear her and with the help of Trowa and Quatre, she manages to wrench them away from each other*
MILLIARDO and NOIN: *blush the deepest red you can imagine*
IZZY: Now put that bottle up!
QUATRE: *puts bottle up*
IZZY: Thank you very much Quatre. Wufei, Trowa, Duo, Heero and Sally-you're on! Wufei-it's your line.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Hello, Signior Leonato! Is this your daughter?
TREIZE/LEONATO: Her mother has told me so many times.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?
TREIZE/LEONATO: No, Signior Benedick.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Truly, the lady fathers herself.
HEERO/BENEDICK: If Signior Leonato is not her father, she would not have his head on her shoulder for all Messina to see.
RELENA/BEATRICE: Why are you still talking, Signior Benedick?; nobody marks you.
HEERO/BENEDICK: What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
DUO: Duh! She's right in front of him!
IZZY: *impatiently* He knows that. He's being sarcastic.
HILDE: *walks over and gives Duo's braid a good tug*
RELENA: What does-
IZZY: I know, I know, what does 'disdain' mean? Gawd, don't they teach you anything in those fancy schools of yours?
RELENA: *opens her mouth to answer*
IZZY: *cuts her off* Don't even answer-I don't want to know. Disdain is a display of contempt and scornful aloofness.
RELENA: So he basically just insulted me?
IZZY: He did more than insult you-he dissed you good!
RELENA/BEATRICE: *scratches head in thought* 'Doesn't insult and dis mean the same thing? Oh well.' Courtesy must change to disdain if you come in her presence.
HEERO/BENEDICK: It is certain that I am loved of all ladies, except you, and still, I have a hard heart; for truly, I love no one.
RELENA/BEATRICE: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than hear a man swear he loves me.
MILLIARDO: *forgetting this is still a play, he nods his head in approval of her last remark*
NOIN: *smacks Milliardo in the back of his head* Shhh!
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Signior Benedick, Signior Claudio, we will stay a month. Signior Leonato is no hypocrite; he prays from the heart.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Let me bid you welcome.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I thank you.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Will you lead on, your Grace?
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.
IZZY: Good. Not so bad for the first time. Now everyone leaves except for Heero and Duo.
EVERYONE (except for Heero and Duo): *leaves the stage*
DUO/CLAUDIO: Benedick, did you note Leonato's daughter?
HEERO/BENEDICK: I did not note her, but I looked upon her.
DUO/CLAUDIO: Isn't she modest?
EVERYONE: *stares at Duo, not believing what is coming out of his mouth even though they know it's just acting*
HEERO/BENEDICK: Do you want me to speak honestly or as a professed tyrant of their sex?
DUO/CLAUDIO: Sober judgment, please.
HEERO/BENEDICK: She is quite plain; I do not like her.
DUO/CLAUDIO: You think I'm playing; tell me how you like her.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Would you buy her?
DUO/CLAUDIO: Can the world buy such a jewel?
HEERO/BENEDICK: Yes, and a case to put it in.
DUO/CLAUDIO: She is the sweetest lady I ever looked upon.
HEERO/BENEDICK: I can still see without glasses and I do not see that: her cousin, Beatrice, if she did not have fury, exceeds her much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. *blushes at the thought of saying that about Relena* You have no intent of turning husband do you?
DUO/CLAUDIO: I will, if Hero will be my wife.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Look, Don Pedro has come to see you.
IZZY: Wufei! You're back on!
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: What secret has held you here?
HEERO/BENEDICK: Claudio is in love with Hero, Leonato's short daughter.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: If you love her, amen. The lady is very well worthy.
DUO/CLAUDIO: You speak this to fetch me in.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I spoke my mind.
DUO/CLAUDIO: And I spoke mine.
HEERO/BENEDICK: And I spoke mine.
DUO/CLAUDIO: That I love her.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: That she is worthy.
HEERO/BENEDICK: That fire cannot melt out of me. I will die in it at the stake. A woman conceived me, I thank her; she brought me up, I thank her; but I will not trust any. I will live a bachelor.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I will see you pale with love.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Never love. If I ever lose more blood with love than drinking-
DUO: Drinking? How can you lose blood drinking?
IZZY: Duo?
DUO: Yeah?
IZZY: Shut up.
HEERO/BENEDICK: If I ever lose more blood with love than drinking, pick my eyes out with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door for a sign of blind Cupid.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: You prove a notable argument.
HEERO/BENEDICK: If I do, hang me in a bottle and shoot me. Then let them signify: Here is Benedick, the Married Man. So I leave you.
IZZY: Wonderful job, Heero! How did you become so good at acting?
HEERO: I only am if I want to be.
IZZY: Glad to know you like the play.
DUO/CLAUDIO: You may do me good, Highness. Does Leonato have a son?
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Only Hero; she's his only heir. Do you love her?
DUO/CLAUDIO: Very much. The return from war is prompting me to how fair Hero is.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I will broach it with her and her father, and you shall have her.
IZZY: Great!!! You know, all you guys can act well, too. That's it. Take five, then we're onto the next two scenes.
That was probably the longest scene is Shakespearean history. Gosh! Five pages. This is only one frigging scene! It was eight pages in the book. The next scene is only one and scene three is two pages. I'm gonna combine the next two. Review please. Thanks a lot for reading this disaster.
Izzy-chan
By Izzy
Rated G
Hey everyone! I've gots a lot of time on my hands and is sort of at a stump for more fics. I wanna write a sort of saga. If you've got any ideas write it out in detail and send it to prncssprsfne@yahoo.com. And some peeps asked for a sequel to 'In the End.' I'm at a block. Any ideas? Email them to me too. Thanks a lot. Oh yeah, the g-boys & co. do not belong to me. Neither does Much Ado About Nothing. As if you didn't know. And this doesn't have as much humor it in. Sorry. I was just concentrating on figuring out the english meaning of everything they were saying. it was very hard. Go read the casting but i'll give you the rundown now:
Don Pedro (prince of Arragon): Wufei
Don John (Don Pedro's brother): Trowa
Claudio (young lord of Florence): Duo
Benedick (young lord of Padua): Heero
Leonato (governor of Messina): Treize
Antonio (Leonato's brother): Milliardo
Balthasar (attendant on Don Pedro): Sally
Conrade (follower of Don John): Noin
Borachio (follower of Don John): Dorothy
Friar Francis: Quatre
Dogberry (the constable): Cathrine
Hero (daughter to Leonato): Hilde
Beatrice (daughter to Antonio): Relena
Margaret (attendant on Hero): Sailor Neptune
Ursula (attendant on Hero): Sailor Uranus
**Sailor Neptune and Uranus are there to basically keep everyone in control but since there was no one left I gave them parts. Also, extras will be played by themselves. i.e. the boy will be played by the boy, the sexton will be played by the sexton. Now on with the show!!!
IZZY: Everyone! Listen up! Do you have your scripts. You were supposed to memorize your lines last night. So you better have it down. We're gonna begin practice, okay? Act I, scene I: in front of Leonato's house. Treize, Hilde, Relena: you're on! Somebody get the messenger onto stage!
DUO: *throws messenger onto stage*
TREIZE, HILDE, and RELENA: *shuffle onto stage*
IZZY: *sits down in director's chair labeled 'Izzy-chan' on the back* Action!
TREIZE/LEONATO: In this letter, *gestures to letter in hand* I learn that Don Pedro of Arragon will arrive here in Messina tonight.
MESSENGER: He is very near right now.
TREIZE/LEONATO: I also learn that Don Pedro has bestowed much honor on Claudio, a Florentine.
MESSENGER: Honor is deserved on both parts.
RELENA/BEATRICE: Has Signior Mountanto returned from the wars, or no? ... um, Izzy-chan, what does 'mountanto' mean?
IZZY: *sighs* You guys were doing great. Why'd you have to stop?
TREIZE and HILDE: *glare at Relena*
IZZY: Mountanto is a fencing term for an upward thrust. *hides dictionary again*
RELENA: Oh.
IZZY: Keep on going.
MESSENGER: I don't know anyone of that name.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Who do you mean, niece?
HILDE/HERO: My cousin, Beatrice, means Signior Benedick of Padua.
MESSENGER: Oh! He's returned and as pleasant as ever.
RELENA: How many has he killed in these wars?
MESSENGER: He has done good service, my lady.
DUO: *interrupting* Why the heck would she want to know how many people Benedick killed?
IZZY: Duo. Shut up. Please, continue.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Sir, you must not mistake my niece. There is a kind of war between Signior Benedick and Her. They never meet without a clash of wit.
RELENA/BEATRICE: In our last conflict, four of his five wits went halting off. Four of five?
IZZY: Relena, you really like interruptions, don't you? The five wits are common wit, imagination, fantasy, judgment and memory. Now keep on going.
RELENA/BEATRICE: Now there is little difference between him and his horse. Who is his companion now? He has a new sworn brother every month.
MESSENGER: Is it possible?
RELENA/BEATRICE: Quite. His faith is like his hat; it changes with the next block.
MESSENGER: I see he is not in your books.
RELENA/BEATRICE: If he was I would burn my study. Now, who?
MESSENGER: He is in company of the noble Claudio. Look! Don Pedro is approaching.
IZZY: *turns around only to see the rest of the group playing spin the bottle on the polished oak wood floor. Milliardo and Noin are making out and haven't come up for air in the last five minutes. Dorothy is about to kiss Quatre who looks quite terrified* Everyone, stop doing that. No more kissing today!
DOROTHY: *ignores Izzy and continues to try to kiss Quatre*
IZZY: Dorothy! The rules don't exclude you.
DOROTHY: *keeps on ignoring*
IZZY: Sailor Uranus, a little help.
SAILOR URANUS: *grabs Dorothy and ties her to a chair and puts a piece of tape over her mouth*
IZZY: *turns away only to see Milliardo and Noin still going at it* Neptune!
SAILOR NEPTUNE: *walks up to Milliardo and Noin and taps them on the shoulder. They ignore her and she yells in their ears to stop. They can't hear her and with the help of Trowa and Quatre, she manages to wrench them away from each other*
MILLIARDO and NOIN: *blush the deepest red you can imagine*
IZZY: Now put that bottle up!
QUATRE: *puts bottle up*
IZZY: Thank you very much Quatre. Wufei, Trowa, Duo, Heero and Sally-you're on! Wufei-it's your line.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Hello, Signior Leonato! Is this your daughter?
TREIZE/LEONATO: Her mother has told me so many times.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?
TREIZE/LEONATO: No, Signior Benedick.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Truly, the lady fathers herself.
HEERO/BENEDICK: If Signior Leonato is not her father, she would not have his head on her shoulder for all Messina to see.
RELENA/BEATRICE: Why are you still talking, Signior Benedick?; nobody marks you.
HEERO/BENEDICK: What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
DUO: Duh! She's right in front of him!
IZZY: *impatiently* He knows that. He's being sarcastic.
HILDE: *walks over and gives Duo's braid a good tug*
RELENA: What does-
IZZY: I know, I know, what does 'disdain' mean? Gawd, don't they teach you anything in those fancy schools of yours?
RELENA: *opens her mouth to answer*
IZZY: *cuts her off* Don't even answer-I don't want to know. Disdain is a display of contempt and scornful aloofness.
RELENA: So he basically just insulted me?
IZZY: He did more than insult you-he dissed you good!
RELENA/BEATRICE: *scratches head in thought* 'Doesn't insult and dis mean the same thing? Oh well.' Courtesy must change to disdain if you come in her presence.
HEERO/BENEDICK: It is certain that I am loved of all ladies, except you, and still, I have a hard heart; for truly, I love no one.
RELENA/BEATRICE: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than hear a man swear he loves me.
MILLIARDO: *forgetting this is still a play, he nods his head in approval of her last remark*
NOIN: *smacks Milliardo in the back of his head* Shhh!
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Signior Benedick, Signior Claudio, we will stay a month. Signior Leonato is no hypocrite; he prays from the heart.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Let me bid you welcome.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I thank you.
TREIZE/LEONATO: Will you lead on, your Grace?
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.
IZZY: Good. Not so bad for the first time. Now everyone leaves except for Heero and Duo.
EVERYONE (except for Heero and Duo): *leaves the stage*
DUO/CLAUDIO: Benedick, did you note Leonato's daughter?
HEERO/BENEDICK: I did not note her, but I looked upon her.
DUO/CLAUDIO: Isn't she modest?
EVERYONE: *stares at Duo, not believing what is coming out of his mouth even though they know it's just acting*
HEERO/BENEDICK: Do you want me to speak honestly or as a professed tyrant of their sex?
DUO/CLAUDIO: Sober judgment, please.
HEERO/BENEDICK: She is quite plain; I do not like her.
DUO/CLAUDIO: You think I'm playing; tell me how you like her.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Would you buy her?
DUO/CLAUDIO: Can the world buy such a jewel?
HEERO/BENEDICK: Yes, and a case to put it in.
DUO/CLAUDIO: She is the sweetest lady I ever looked upon.
HEERO/BENEDICK: I can still see without glasses and I do not see that: her cousin, Beatrice, if she did not have fury, exceeds her much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. *blushes at the thought of saying that about Relena* You have no intent of turning husband do you?
DUO/CLAUDIO: I will, if Hero will be my wife.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Look, Don Pedro has come to see you.
IZZY: Wufei! You're back on!
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: What secret has held you here?
HEERO/BENEDICK: Claudio is in love with Hero, Leonato's short daughter.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: If you love her, amen. The lady is very well worthy.
DUO/CLAUDIO: You speak this to fetch me in.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I spoke my mind.
DUO/CLAUDIO: And I spoke mine.
HEERO/BENEDICK: And I spoke mine.
DUO/CLAUDIO: That I love her.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: That she is worthy.
HEERO/BENEDICK: That fire cannot melt out of me. I will die in it at the stake. A woman conceived me, I thank her; she brought me up, I thank her; but I will not trust any. I will live a bachelor.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I will see you pale with love.
HEERO/BENEDICK: Never love. If I ever lose more blood with love than drinking-
DUO: Drinking? How can you lose blood drinking?
IZZY: Duo?
DUO: Yeah?
IZZY: Shut up.
HEERO/BENEDICK: If I ever lose more blood with love than drinking, pick my eyes out with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door for a sign of blind Cupid.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: You prove a notable argument.
HEERO/BENEDICK: If I do, hang me in a bottle and shoot me. Then let them signify: Here is Benedick, the Married Man. So I leave you.
IZZY: Wonderful job, Heero! How did you become so good at acting?
HEERO: I only am if I want to be.
IZZY: Glad to know you like the play.
DUO/CLAUDIO: You may do me good, Highness. Does Leonato have a son?
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: Only Hero; she's his only heir. Do you love her?
DUO/CLAUDIO: Very much. The return from war is prompting me to how fair Hero is.
WUFEI/DON PEDRO: I will broach it with her and her father, and you shall have her.
IZZY: Great!!! You know, all you guys can act well, too. That's it. Take five, then we're onto the next two scenes.
That was probably the longest scene is Shakespearean history. Gosh! Five pages. This is only one frigging scene! It was eight pages in the book. The next scene is only one and scene three is two pages. I'm gonna combine the next two. Review please. Thanks a lot for reading this disaster.
Izzy-chan