I gazed in astonishment at the letter, then at the owl, then back again.
Julie-- I don't know why Remus is muddling in your life, too, but I want you to stay away from him. He's a werewolf, and he's dangerous. Usually I wouldn't care one way or the other, as you never cared about me, your own brother, but he is a werewolf! He transformed himself last year and tried to kill a few students - rulebreakers, of course - who were walking around. As relieved as I would have been to have those disobeying, overconfident sneaks out of my hands, I knew I owed my duty to the school to turn him in. A nasty way to get food, even for a werewolf, if you ask me. Well, now you know the story. Spread the word, and save Hogsmeade from the werewolf! --Severus
I stared at the owl again, then back down at the letter. So that's how Severus forced Remus to back out of the job! He "spread the word" around Hogwarts, and stirred all the parents up! I had not expected this when I sent an angry letter to Snape about firing Remus, and I certainly wasn't sure whether to believe him now!
With a horrible clearness in my head, I remembered two weeks ago, before we'd both left on short vacations. "I think the knowledge of what you had to be for the rest of your life would be much worse than the pain ..." Remus had an imagination, and I knew that he did try to see into people and understand them and help them ... but that look in his eyes when he said that. There was more pain there than I'd ever seen in anyone's eyes. I couldn't believe that he was just sympathetic - could I? "So ... what's this about the law against vampires?" All right, maybe we were both working when I said that, and we both had things on our minds, but Remus was always attentive to detail, especially about werewolves, vampires, Boggarts, kappas, grindylows - after all, he'd told me that he'd taught a class on them at Hogwarts. I knew he would automatically snap to attention if a new law about something like them was mentioned, so he could keep up-to-date. "It's just ... you know, those werewolves ... I feel sorry for them ..." How could Remus change opinions so quickly? First saying that, and then looking frightened, nervous, and pained, and talking about the "knowledge of what you had to be for the rest of your life ..." Shocking myself with the rush of memories that came back into my head, I remembered his uneasiness as I told him that Sirius, James, and Peter had had good taste in friends. Did he think, that just because he was a werewolf -
Unfounded accusation, Julie! I screamed inwardly at myself. Carefully, I went over the evidence. If it nearly proved that Remus was a werewolf, did it support the other side as well? Maybe Remus had just been a little off that day ... and Severus - it was really Severus I was doubting. I was smart enough to put together the other clues. But if Severus was right, then there was no doubt about it. I would have to believe that Remus was a werewolf.
I re-read the letter. That sounded like Severus, all right. And the owl was bearing a Hogwarts crest - the owl! Quickly, I paid him a few Knuts and saw him off, then returned to my thinking.
All right, so it was Severus writing to me. And - well, I knew better than anybody how to decipher Severus's ways of talking. The students were probably breaking the rules for a very good reason, and people were around after dark all the time. Remus had probably changed by accident ... the point was, Severus exaggerated, but he didn't lie outright. He wouldn't have called Remus a werewolf if he wasn't a werewolf. I had to face that. He could have called Remus an awful teacher, an ungrateful, unjust swine .... but I guess he figured that the simple truth of what he was was better than insults.
Well, I decided, I wasn't going to put up with Severus any longer. I'd gotten my information from him, and I didn't care. I knew what I thought about werewolves. Remus had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn't - I didn't - it was hard for me to even think what I knew I felt. I didn't love him any less for it.
You've only been working together for a month, Julie, I reminded myself. Don't be so quick. But I did love him - I loved him as a friend, a good friend, and they were rare. I could count on him to feel comfortable with the person I was, anytime, and I just had to wait for him to learn that I was comfortable with him - all of him - in the same way.
Work on Monday was a little quieter than it was before, because I supposed to we were both thinking. I'd decided to pretend I didn't know anything, until he was ready to tell me. I didn't want to hurt him at all. I didn't want to risk losing him. Ever. He was the best friend I had. Especially now, in Hogsmeade, where I didn't really know what to do besides work at the Three Broomsticks. When I just wanted to stay in one place for awhile, while all my friends started the rest of their lives, and think ... even so, I still hated to watch all the happy Hogwarts students. They knew where their lives were headed - towards the O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. They had great friends, and they didn't have to think beyond their seventh year.
I cleared my throat. This couldn't go on! "So ... what do you think you're going to do after this job?" I asked curiously.
"After this job?" He looked stricken.
"Yes, after this job," I repeated. "I certainly don't want to work here for the rest of my life!"
"Why not?" he questioned softly.
Taken aback, I replied, "Well - it's just - I can't do this forever. I want to do something with my life. I was supposed to have learned things at Hogwarts, you know," I reminded both of us, and blushed. "I don't think I'm made for managing a pub in Hogsmeade, is all," I finished lamely.
"What are your friends doing?" he wondered, trying to be helpful.
"I don't know about the whole group," I admitted. "Ariana, or Ari, is working in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. At the Ministry," I added dumbly. "I think Bea is in the Department of Magical Games and Sports, and Gerik - Gerik drives the Day Bus, that's right. I just saw him when I went to deposit to our Gringotts account." Remus didn't look bored, so I continued. "I've always thought about teaching at Hogwarts, I guess ... that's what my brother -" I shut up instantly, moaning and snapping at myself inside, and mentally vowing to be alert for the rest of the conversation and never let my attention slip like that! "Uh, so, what are your friends doing?" I returned.
Remus wasn't fooled. "Your brother teaches at Hogwarts?" he asked carefully.
I shook my head, blushing, and mumbled, "It's not impor -"
"I know him, then," Remus went on. I don't think he heard me. He was too busy thinking. "Who is it? What does he teach?"
I knew I couldn't avoid it now. "It's Severus," I said with a sigh. "But we never keep in touch anymore!" I added hastily, remembering his letter last night with a stab of guilt. "Our parents are divorced." I tried to look innocent, and ignorant of Remus's identity. He allowed himself a small frown, but the subject was dropped then and he continued on to another topic as if we'd never spoken.