Disclaimer: Sorry it took so long to get up but my mom barely lets me use her computer. Well, that's solved…Uh, so anyway, I was playing Scatergories with my sisters and dad. We had the letter "M" and one of the things was "Famous Duos and Trios". I put down "Maxwell" and it worked! Haha, it was so funny! Anyways, sorry about it being so long…Enjoy!!
A Muppet Christmas Carol:
Gundam Style!!
MLT: Hi! (Waves) Meet your new co-director!
Rei: Hello!
Duo: (Walks up with a bandage around his head) Where's Katie?
(Pounding comes from behind a closet door. Catherine throws knives at the door until it stops.)
Rei: Bwhahahaha!!
Duo: (backs away) Um, explain a little please...
MLT: Got mad.
Duo: Why her?
Rei: Only one around, thank god I was late.
MLT: Ok! Milliardo, its your line!
Milliardo: Gentlemen, let's close up for Christmas. There's magic in the air this evening, magic in the air. The worlds at her best, ya'know when people love and care.
Trieze: (Pops up behind MLT and Rei) Hmm, what an odd script…
MLT: Ah!! Oh, its only you. (Muttering) I hate ghosts…
Rei: Hi! (Tries to glomp him, but her arms go right through) Hmm… (Waves hand through stomach.)
Trieze: Umm, do you mind?
Milliardo: May I continue??
Rei: (annoyed sigh) Fiiiine.
Milliardo: The promise of excitement is one the night will keep; after all it's only one more sleep 'till Christmas. The worlds has got a smile today, the world has got a glow. There's no such thing as strangers when a stranger says hello and everyone is family, we're havin' so much fun. After all its only one more sleep 'till Christmas! (ROS continue to sweep and clean up. Soon they finish)
Milliardo: (closes door and turns key in lock) 'Tis the season to be jolly and joyous! With a burst of season, we feel it our right! 'Tis the season when the saints can employ us, to spread the word about peace and to keep love alive! (A RC spins by, dressed as a penguin)
Milliardo: It's the Christmas Penguins skating party!! Christmas penguins??
MLT: Umm, yeah…
Milliardo: (throws down script) what's the point!!!
Rei: Remember MUPPETS!
Quatre: Could we skip this?! I'm never going to get to act!!
Milliardo: Yeah, this is stupid.
MLT: Fine, skip it.
Rei: We're skipping Bell's singing too. That part is boring.
Catherine: Heh, you don't want to her me sing anyway.
Trowa: (mumbles) that's for sure…
Milliardo: Lessee, Merry Christmas penguins! There's something in the wind today that's good for everyone.
ROS: Yeah.
Milliardo: Yes, faith is in our hearts today, we're shining' like the sun. And everyone can feel it; the feeling's running deep, after all there's only one more sleep 'till Christmas. After all there's only one more sleep 'till Christmas…daay… (Camera focuses on Duo, curled up and snoring.)
Rei: *groans* isn't he capable of following script.
MLT: From my experience…no.
(Scene changes to a dark street, Mariemeia and Wufei ride up in a carriage
Wufei: Scrooge lived in bedchamber that once belonged to his business partners Jacob and Robert Marley. The building was a dismal heap of brick on a dark street.
Mariemeia: I thought there was only one.
Rei: Muppets.
Mariemeia: can't we do the book version?? I'm a *pig*!! (Points to parts in script about food.)
Rei: *snickers*
MLT: Too little people.
Mariemeia: *grumbles* Have some bread?
Wufei: No. Now I must ask you to remember that the Marleys are dead and decaying in their graves.
Mariemeia: Ewwwy…
Wufei: *glare* that one thing you must remember or nothing that follows will seem wondrous…WONDROUS???
MLT: *death glare* would you like to be a veggie??
Wufei: Heh…heh…
Heero: (Walks up to door and unlocks it. He looks up at the doorknocker and lets out a high-pitched, girlish scream. He runs away)
Rei: That was…disturbing…
MLT: (jumps onstage and rips a picture of Relena off the doorknocker) I can see why he screamed. Someone get him back here. (Quatre runs off to find him)
Wufei: Weak onna…
MLT: Hey, watch it. Women did some of the most heroic things!
Wufei: Like what? Name two!
Rei: Harriet Tubman
MLT: Clara Barton
Rei: Amelia Airheart.
MLT: Emily Dickinson.
Rei: Figures you'd name her.
MLT: Heh, heh…
Quatre: I found him
Heero: I-is she gone??
Rei: DING-DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD!!!!
All: *sweatdrop*
Rei: (innocent eyes) I have nooo idea where *that* came from…(A halo appears above her head.)
All: *sweatdrop* (Rei and MLT walk back to their seats.)
Wufei: To say that Scrooge wasn't frightened would be untrue…is that even a word??
Quatre: (from offstage) YES!!!!
Wufei: Still, the moment had past and the world was as it should be. (Heero lights a candle and shut the door, Wufei turns around and runs smack in to it.)
Wufei: (Face is smushed in the door) owww, dat hwurt…(Mariemeia yanks him backwards.)
Wufei: Scrooge made him way up the staircase, carrying not a button for the darkness. It was cheap.
Rei: (opens mouth to correct him)
MLT: (interrupts) don't even try.
Wufei: Will you onnas shut up?!
MLT: (throws "War and Peace" at him, but she ends up missing and it hits Quatre in the forehead.) Heh, heh…oops…
Quatre: Heey…I'm gonna read this… (Staggers offstage)
Wufei: But the incident at the door had made Scrooge weary. Before he shut himself in for the night he searched his rooms.
Mariemeia: *rolls eyes* Wow.
Wufei: To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps. (Lamps go on.)
Heero: (walks around with a cane and a lit candle. He stops and turns towards MLT and Rei) Ooh! A *cane*! Why can't I use my gun??
MLT: 'Cause.
Heero: (mutters something) Ah! (Spins and hits a robe. Stops and looks at it)
Heero: Oh, no harm done... (Picks it up and walks offstage. Scene changes to him sitting in the robe, eating bread in front of a fire.)
*DOORBELL*
Quatre: (from offstage) Hey! It doesn't play anything weird!
MLT: Shut...up...Quatre... [AN: You'd have to read Thanksgiving to understand this.]
Heero: (looks up, it stops)
*DOORBELL*
Heero: (death glare. It rings for a while, stops and the fire burns low.) *Gasp* (a glowing comes from downstairs, Hilde and Noin pop up laughing, white, and carrying chains)
Hilde: Oh look! It's Ebenezer Scrooge!
Noin: Looking older and more wicked than ever!
Hilde: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us! (They laugh)
Heero: Who are you?
Noin: In life we were your business partners, Jacob.
Hilde: And Robert Marley!
Heero: Looks like you, but I don't believe it!
Noin: Why do you doubt your senses?
Heero: Because a little thing like a stomach disorder can make them cheat! (Rei smacks a hand to her forehead) There's more to gravy than a grave about you! (Hilde and Noin laugh)
Hilde: More to gravy than a grave?!
Noin: What a terrible pun! Where do you get these things??
Heero: Please...Jacob...Robert...don't criticize me! You always criticized me!
Hilde: We were always heckling you!
Noin: Its good to be heckling again!
Hilde: Its good to be doing anything again! (Laughter)
Heero: Why do you come to me?
Hilde: *smile* 'Cause your cute!
Duo: (from offstage) WHAT???!!!!!!
Relena: (runs onstage and chokes Hilde) He's *mine*!!!
Heero: (screams and runs away)
Relena: Heeeeerrroooo!!! (Runs after him)
Hilde: (falls from harness that was keeping her floating)
***SMACK***
Noin: (looks down to where she's fallen, makes a face and looks away) Ewww....
MLT: (looks at watch) Crap! My haircut!!! Rei's in charge! (Grabs coat and runs out the door)
Rei: MAKEUP!!!!! (The crew scurries onstage and waits for instructions) Get Hilde cleaned up!
Loa: (knocks on door) Hey! Rei! Open up! (Rei opens the door and Loa walks in brushing snow off her coat and out of her hair)
Rei: What took so long?
Loa: Katie sabotaged my alarm. Speaking of which, where is she?
Rei: Heh, heh... (Pounding starts again and Catherine starts throwing knives.)
Loa: I see...Where's M?
Rei: Haircut.
Loa: Ah. Heero?
Rei: On the run from Relena.
Loa: I'll look for him in a second.
Makeup CrewMember #1: She won't be ready for another 30 minutes
Loa: Break time!!! I'll find Heero now. (Walks backstage)
Trieze: (pops up) Tea's on me!! (Actors stampede to cafeteria)
Loa: (Comes back with Heero glomping to her crying.) Found him. Uh, Relena scared him a little...
Rei: A *little*?!
Loa: Umm, yeah.
MLT: He looks scared for life. Well? (Spins, her normal hair length of 2ft is cut back to the middle of her neck)
Rei: Its cute!
Loa: Geez, you cut off a lot!
MLT: I like it better now.
Loa: Breaks over!
Duo: (walks in happily munching a Christmas cookie) Hi. AH!! (Chokes) Your hair!
MLT: (nods. Other actors walk in, some have the same reaction, and others simply nod.)
Rei: Places!! (Hilde and Noin are back in the harnesses. Hilde has a bruise on her face and one arm is in a sling)
Noin + Hilde: We're Marley and Marley. Averse and greed.
Noin: We took advantage of the poor, just ignored the needy.
Noin + Hilde: We specialized in causing pain, spreading fear and doubt.
Hilde: And if you could not pay the rent we simply threw you out! (Laughter) There was the year we evicted the entire orphanage!
Noin: I remember all the little tykes, standing in the snow bank.
Hilde: With their frostbitten teddy bears! (Laugh, then they both stop and shudder)
Noin + Hilde: We're Marley and Marley our hearts were painted black.
Noin: We should have known our evil deeds would put us both in shackles!
Noin + Hilde: Kept in bound, double iron, exhausted by the pain.
Noin: While freedom comes with killing laws
Hilde: Oh prison comes with hate!
Noin + Hilde: We're Marley and Marley! Ooooh! We're Marley and Marley! Ooh!
Heero: But my friends, you weren't unfeeling toward your fellow man
Hilde: True, there was something about mankind we liked...
Noin: I think it was their money! (They both laugh, and then both float up to Heero)
Noin + Hilde: Doomed Scrooge, your doomed for all time!
Hilde: Your future is a horror story written by your crime!
Noin + Hilde: Your chains are forged by what you say and do.
Box thingies: So have your fun, when life is done, a nightmare waits for you!
Heero: Why these terrible chains?!
Hilde: Uhh! The chains! We forged these chains in life by our acts of greed!
Noin: You wear such a chain yourself!
Heero: Humbug! Speak comfort to me friends!
Noin: Comfort?? Ahh!
Hilde: You will be haunted by three spirits!
Heero: Haunted? I've already had enough of that!
Noin: Without these visits you cannot hope to avoid the fate we have!
Hilde: Expect the first ghost tonight when then bell tolls one!
Heero: Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?
Hilde: When the bell tolls one!!! (They sink downstairs and disappear. The fire comes back up.)
Wufei: And with that, the ghosts of Scrooges business partners vanished into the night, leaving him once again, alone in his room.
Mariemeia: Wow, shouldn't we be worried about the kids in the audience?
Wufei: Nah, this is culture.
Mariemeia: Oh, want a jellybean?
Wufei: *scoffs*
Mariemeia: What?? What? (Turns to Loa, MLT, and Rei) You're seriously going to make me do this?
(They nod, with evil grins on their faces)
Mariemeia: *groans* (kisses Wufei on the nose. There's a click and a flash.) You didn't...
Loa: I *did* (holds up camera)
Mariemeia: *screams*
Heero: Humbug (closes bed curtains)
(Outside, Wufei is pulling Mariemeia through the bars of a gate. She comes loose and both of them fly backwards)
Heero: (sleeping.)
Wufei: (climbing up a rope followed by Mariemeia) Scrooge fell into the emptiness of a dreamless sleep. Look there's Scrooge's window!
Heero: (opens one eye when the clock chimes, candle burns low.)
Wufei: (standing on a branch with Mariemeia.) Except the first ghost when the bell tolls one!!!
Heero: (A white light fills the room He sits up. He opens the curtains and all the white light comes into a ball, then flashes and Dorothy is standing there. Her dress is white and somehow is glowing)
Heero: Are you the spirit who's coming was foretold to me?
Dorothy: (with perfect accent) I am.
Heero: But, you're just a child
Dorothy: I can remember nearly nineteen hundred years. I'm the ghost of Christmas past.
Heero: What business has brought you here?
Dorothy: Your welfare.
Heero: A night's broken rest, so it ain't my welfare.
Dorothy: Your salvation, then. Take heed, come. (Windows open.)
Heero: I beg you spirit; I am mortal and libel [crap, wrong word] to fall.
Dorothy: A touch of my hand and you shall fly. (Heero takes it and two different screams are heard from back stage. Trowa, Catherine, Noin, and Hilde are trying desperately to hold Quatre back. Lady Une, Sally, Trieze, and Duo are trying to hold Relena back as well.)
Loa: Didn't expect Quatre to get jealous.
MLT: Me neither...
Rei: Trieze, how much "tea" did you give him??
Trieze: I, uh...heh...heh...
(Wufei ties a rope to Heero's leg and they all fly off)
Wufei: Wheee! Hello London!
Mariemeia: Goodbye luuuunnnnccchhhh!!!
Heero: (a white light is seen in the distance) Spirit, what is that light? It cannot be dawn.
Dorothy: It is the past. (They fly into it and Wufei and Mariemeia fly through pine trees and they finally get to the schoolhouse)
Wufei: And so they arrived in Scrooge's childhood.
Mariemeia: That was horrible.
Wufei: Well, it's over now.
Mariemeia: Yeah. Safe at last...(an assassin shows up) No... (assassin chases her around, shooting.)
Wufei: It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve. And a thousand things were remembered.
Dorothy: You really can't act.
Heero: It's my old school! That's Henry! And Edmund my best friend!
Dorothy: These are but shadows of your past Ebenezer. They can neither see no hear you. Come, let us go inside.
Wufei: Mariemeia, stop playing with the assassin!
Mariemeia: Help! Help! (they run inside and slam the door on the assassin.)
Wufei: And what a flood of memories came back to him as Scrooge beheld his old classroom.
Heero: I know it all so well, spirit. The desks, the smell of the chalk...I chose my profession in this room.
Dorothy: And is he too familiar? (points to Quatre, who is dressed up as young scrooge. He glares at them.)
Wufei: Scrooge beheld a small boy. A boy he knew, oh, very well indeed.
Heero: Good Heavens...Its me...
Random Young Colonist: Come on Ebenezer, the last coach is leaving!
RYC#2: Come on you'll never get home in time for Christmas!
Quatre: Who cares about stupid old Christmas??!
Heero: I was often alone. The Christmas holiday was a chance to get some extra work done.
Dorothy: Let us see, another Christmas in this place.
Heero: They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Dorothy: You changed.
Wufei: The years preformed their terrible dance and in a moment Scrooge had seen his entire childhood. He saw his old school room age and decay (The shelf tips and Mariemeia and Wufei get squashed against a wall)
Duo: (walks in dressed as the headmaster) So Master Scrooge, graduation day.
Heero: That's my old headmaster. This man taught me my greatest lesson.
Duo: Stand up, Build your life as the school is built. Work hard, work long and be constructive. Work hard lad and soon your life will be as solid as this very building!! (the shelf holding up Mariemeia and Wufei breaks and they fall.)
Duo: Hmm, I've been meaning to fix that shelf...
Quatre: Yes, headmaster.
Duo: Well, young man you've been apprenticed to a fine company in London. Today you become a man of business.
Quatre: I'm looking forward to it.
Duo: You will love business! It is the American way...
Wufei: Maxwell...
Duo: Hmm?
Wufei: *British*!!!
Duo: It is the *British* way! Oh, here is your coachman.
Dorothy: Come, Scrooge. There is much to see. (the scene changes to Fozziwigs Rubber Chicken Factory)
Wufei: In a moment Scrooge was standing on a city street looking at a building he had not seen in years.
Dorothy: Tell me Ebenezer Scrooge, do you know this place?
Heero: Know it?? My first job was here! Its Fozziwigs old Rubber chicken factory!
Wufei: Dusk had fallen and the lamplighters were applying their trade.
Lady Une: (dressed up as Fozziwig) Look 'm lads! Dusk has fallen and the lamplighters are at work! It's Christmas Eve for certain! Its time for the party to begin!
Heero: Ooh! A Christmas party! (runs in followed by Dorothy)
Lady Une: Excuse could I have your attention? Please?? Quiet!! (people keep talking. Hilde and Noin are up in a balcony sort of thing laughing.)
Heero: It's the Marley brothers!
Lady Une: Attention Pleeeeeaaaseeee!! (Trieze comes in, fires a gun in the air, then walks off. Everyone stops talking) Ok thank you. Now it's a tradition for me to make a little speech!
Noin: And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!
Lady Une: Don't listen to them. My Speech: Thank you all and Merry Christmas!
Noin: That was the speech?
Hilde: It's was dumb!
Noin: It was obvious!
Hilde: It was...short...
Hilde + Noin: I LOVED IT!!!
(The band plays Music. Heero runs off and comes back dressed as young Scrooge.)
Heero: (makes his way through the crowd. ) Excuse me Mr. Fozziwig? Do you know how much the firm is spending or this party?
Lady Une: Master Scrooge! This is a time for generosity! Stop working, enjoy yourself! Go meet some people! (music gets peppy)
Noin: (dancing)
Hilde: You dancing fool!
Noin: Heh heh!
(camera focuses in on Quatre and Trowa playing their instruments. Sally's playing the piano and Mariemeia is playing the drums)
Lady Une: (talking with Catherine, Heero bumps in to her)
Heero: 'Scuse me. (looks at her again) Oh, Excuse me...
Lady Une: Mr. Scrooge this is Bell, a friend of the Fozziwig family.
Catherine: I'm pleased to meet you.
Dorothy: Do you remember this meeting?
Heero: (runs back in to place, in Old Scrooge costume) Yes, I remember...
Dorothy: There was of course another Christmas with this young woman. Some years later...
Heero: Please spirit...do not show me that Christmas...
Rei: Yeah, lets skip it!
Dorothy: No! (after much bickering, they skip the part, with Wufei filling the audience in. Scene changes to Scrooge going back to bed.)
Wufei: ...and there he remained until the nearby clock began to strike the hour. (The clock strikes two)
Heero: (peeks out from curtains) Nothing... (light comes from the kitchen, Heero investigates and finds Trieze dressed up as the ghost of Christmas present, surrounded by food and presents)
Heero: Santy Clause??
Trieze: Hoho! Come in and know me better man! I am the ghost of Christmas present! This is the night before the day of Christmas! Did I already tell you that I'm the ghost of Christmas present?
Heero: You did.
Trieze: Come in then and know me better man! Hoho!
Heero: You're a little absent minded spirit...
Trieze: No, I'm a large absent-minded spirit!
Heero: I don't believe I've ever met anyone like you spirit...
Trieze: Really? Over eighteen hundred of my brothers have come before me!
Heero: Eighteen-hundred? Imagine the grocery bills! (they laugh)
Trieze: Have you ever noticed how everything seems wonderful at Christmas?
Heero: No. Perhaps I've never understood...
Trieze: Come on then! (they appear outside) May I welcome you to Christmas Morning! It's in the singing of a street corner choir it's going home and getting warm by the fire. Its true where ever you find love it feels like Christmaaaassss!!!
RFC: It's a cup of kindness that we share with another, a sweet reunion with a friend or a brother
RMC: In all the places you find love it feels like Christmas!
Trieze: It is, the season of the heart a special time made clear!
Pigeons, Cats, and Trieze: And it is the season of the spirit, the message if we hear it, is make it last all year!!
Mouse #1: It's in the giving of a gift to another, a pair of mittens that were made by your mother
Mice + Trieze: It's in all the ways that we show love it feels like Christmas!
Horses: A problem child that will always remember, it's the summer of the soul in December.
Rei: Wait, a problem child?
MLT: That's what it sounded like.
Rei: Ah.
RC + ROS: Yes when you do your best for love it feels like Christmas!
Trieze: It is the season of the heart a special time of caring the ways of love made clear. (Colonists and soldiers begin to dance around him) it is the season of the spirit a message if we hear it is make it last all year! (Horses dance around with the colonists and soldiers)
Trieze: (comes back over to Heero) Its in the singing of a street corner choir, its going home and getting warm by the fire. Its true where ever you find love, it feels like Christmas. It feels like Christmas, it feels like Christmas!! It feels like Christmaaaasss.
Heero: Spirit, I had no idea! Show me friends, kin! Show me family! (They walk through a wall and appear in a living room. Trowa is walking around, Relena is sitting on the couch, along with Duo, Hilde, Catherine, Dorothy, a RMC, and a ROS. Mariemeia and Wufei pop up)
Mariemeia: Mmm, fruit! (She takes a big bite out of a pear and makes a face)
Heero: Its my dear nephew Fred! Having dinner with friends!
Trowa: Well, we've sung the carols and eaten the plum pudding, what next my lovely?
Relena: A game Fred!
RMC: Yes, we must have a game at Christmas!
Heero: Do people play games?
Trieze: I love games!
Wufei: You do know that fruit is wax?
Mariemeia: (nods) I cat get it owt of my mowuth!!
Duo: Lets play yes and no.
ROS: Ah, wonderful game!
Trowa: I'll be it!
Relena: Yes, let Fred be it! He always thinks of clever things!
Trowa: I do have a good one! Guess!
Hilde: Is it vegetable?
Trowa: No.
Relena: Mineral?
Trowa: No.
Hilde: Animal, then!
Trowa: What else?
Relena: What else indeed!
Dorothy: Is it found on a farm?
Trowa: Never.
Catherine: In the city?
Trowa: Usually.
Duo: Does it pull a handsome c?
Trowa: Certainly not!
RMC: How about a dog?
Trowa: No
Heero: A cat!
Relena: A cat?
Heero: I said it first!
Trowa: No.
Relena: Wait then, is it unwanted creature?
Trowa: Often.
Dorothy: A rat!
Trowa: No
Catherine: A leech!
Trowa: No.
Duo: A cockroach!!
Trowa: Oh, dear its too wonderful!
Relena: Wait, wait I know! An unwanted creature but not a rat a leech or a cockroach.
Duo: Then what?
Relena: Its Ebenezer Scrooge!
Trowa: Yes! (they all laugh)
Trieze: Come, there is much to see.
Heero: No more, I wish to see no more. (they fade away)
Loa: Cut! Everyone get ready for the next scene!
MLT: Cratchits! I need to talk with you! (Noin, Milliardo, Quatre, Hilde, and Dorothy come over.) Noin, your no longer the mother. You're a twin now.
Noin: Who's Mrs. Cratchit, Then?
MLT: *evil grin*
Rei: Oh, no. I think I know! (cracks up)
Loa: Heh heh heh…I know!
Milliardo: Who?
MLT: I want to take him by surprise so don't make a big deal!
Hilde: "him"? You really *are* evil.
Dorothy: So, who is it?
MLT: Wufei. (Everyone burst out laughing. In a few minuets they stop and wipe away the tears of laughter)
Loa: We'll go inform him of his new role…heh heh.
Rei: Wufei, you have a new role.
Wufei: Why?
Loa: 'Cause we're a little short on people.
Wufei: Who is it?
MLT: Mrs. Cratchit.
Wufei: No.
Loa: Don't have a choice!
Wufei: (tries to run, but they drag his back towards the dressing rooms and lock him in one. He pounds on the door) Let me out, onnas!! INJUSTICE!!! I REFUSE!!
Rei: Too bad then, your only way out of that room is to play the character!
(Meanwhile, Catherine is throwing knives at the door when Katie appears behind her.)
Katie: Excuse me. What are you doing? Are you throwing knives at where I was?
Catherine: Uhhh…(runs)
Katie: I'm going to have to hurt you! (runs after her)
Rei: Whats that?
Loa: Sounds like Katie got out.
MLT: Mmhmm, right on time too. (looks at watch)
Wufei: Please…let me out…please…
Rei: Play the part!
Wufei: Fine, fine…Just let me out!!
Loa: Get in to costume first.
Wufei: Ok, open the door now!
MLT: (unlocks the door, Wufei walks out looking very annoyed, dressed in costume)
Wufei: You guys suck!
Rei: We have to do your hair.
Wufei: No!! Its flammable! (Loa, MLT, and Rei laugh)
Loa: Well, then. We'll have to wash it! M, are there any of those hair salon sink things?
MLT: First door on the right. (They drag a kicking and struggling Wufei in to the room and push him in to the chair)
Wufei: No no no no no no!!!! (Rei turns the water on hot, Loa holds him by his shoulders to the sink, and MLT keeps his head down.) Watch it, onna! You'll break my neck!
MLT: Wish I could.
Loa: Hmm, can I kill him after this is over?
Rei: Yeah! I'll help!
MLT: Be my guest!
(After about forty-five minuets, they finally get his hair washed and dried. Loa then curls it. They push him onstage, and the rest of the actors try not to laugh)
Wufei: Shut up, it's not funny. (Stomps backstage)
(Scene changes to Bob Cratchit's house, everyone takes their seats.)
Heero: Why are we here?
Trieze: It's Christmas here too. That's Bob Cratchit's house!
Mariemeia: Perhaps it was the spirits own sympathy for all poor men that led them straight to the house of Scrooges fateful clerk.
Heero: This is Bob Cratchit's house?
Trieze: How do you know that?
Heero: You just told me!
Trieze: Well, I'm usually trustworthy.
Dorothy: (bursts out laughing)
Trieze: Do you mind??
Dorothy: I'm fine, go ahead.
Heero: Who's that? (looking in window)
Trieze: (looks in window.) Mrs. Cratchit of course!
Wufei: (muttering death threats as he cooks, turns around) Dorothy! Do not turning that spit! It's the whole secret of a properly roasted goose!
Dorothy: Mmm, yummy… Smells good.
Hilde: Mother mother! I thought you said we couldn't eat the chestnuts 'till father and Tiny Tim came home!
Wufei: I was checking to make sure they weren't burnt. And do not shout!
(back outside, Trieze and Heero turn around to see Milliardo staggering down the road toward them, trying to balance Quatre on his shoulder, walk, and sing all at the same time.)
Quatre: 'Tis the season to jolly and joyous, fa la la! With a burst of pleasure we-Ahhh!! (Milliardo falls face first into a snow drift. He lies there, while Quatre sits where he was.)
Milliardo: Get woff!!
Quatre: Huh? Oh, sorry. (stands up, and Milliardo gets to his feet, brushing snow off of himself)
Milliardo: Okay, lets get this over with! (They both walk in the door. After a few seconds, Quatre dashes outside, picks up his crutch and runs back in)
Milliardo: (shuts door) Merry Christmas, everyone!
Hilde, Noin, and Dorothy: *gasp* Daddy! (they all run over and hug him. Wufei makes a face, and walks over.)
Wufei: Children please set the table. (They all run off)
Quatre: The goose! Heh heh! The Christmas goose! *cough* *cough*
Wufei: Ok, you've gotten too excited, sit over there. So, how was he at church?
Milliardo: Good as gold and better. He said he hoped that the people in the church saw him because it might help to remember that on Christmas day, they made lame beggars walk and blind man see.
Heero: A remarkable child.
Mariemeia: And with that the Cratchits came to the single most happy moment in all the live long year.
Heero: Such a meager feast.
Trieze: But very much appreciated
Heero: I pay Bob such a small amount
Milliardo: Mr. Scrooge!
Heero: Bob? Bob Cratchit? (walks in)
Milliardo: It only seems right that I should liftmy glass to my employer. I give you Mr. Scrooge the founder of the feast!
Wufei: The founder of the feast indeed! If I had him here I would give him a piece of my mind to feast upon! And I bet he would choke.
Hilde + Noin: Hmph! Choke!
Milliardo: My dear, the children, Christmas Day!
Wufei: uhh, well. I suppose on the blessed day of Christmas, one should drink to the health of Mr. Scrooge. Even though he is odious, stingy, and unfeeling and badly dressed…
Hilde + Noin: *gasp*
Quatre: To the founder of the feast Mr. Scrooge!
Wufei: To Mr. Scrooge I'm sure you'll be very happy this day I have no doubt!
Hilde + Noin: No doubt!
Milliardo: Hmm, cheers.
Quatre: God bless us! (singing) Life is full of sweet surprises everyday's a gift. The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my spirits! Fills me up with laughter, fills me up with song. And I look in to the eyes of love and know that I belong!
Cratchits: Bless us all, who gather here. The loving family I hold dear. No place on earth, compares with home. And every path will bring me back from where I roam. Bless us all that as we live, we always comfort and forgive. We have so much we can share with those in need that we around us everywhere. Let us always love each other. Lead us to the light. Let us hear the voice of reason, singing in the night. Let us run from anger, and catch us if we fall. Teach us in our dreams and please yes please bless us one and all. Bless us all, with playful years with noisy games and joyful tears. We reach for you and we stand tall and in our hearts, bless us one and all.
Quatre: We reach for you and we stand tall. And in our dreams we ask you bless us all…*cough* *cough* *cough*
Milliardo: Uh, lets eat now.
Heero: Spirit, tell me if Tiny Tim will live.
Trieze: (now wearing a white wig) That is the future. My realm is the present. But I see a vacant seat by the fire and a crutch without an owner. If these shadows remained unaltered, I believe the child will die. But if hes going to die, he'd better do it and decrease the surplus population.
Heero: *death glare* Omae o korosu!!
Mariemeia: Uh…As the Cratchit family vanished into the night, Scrooge kept his eyes on Tiny Tim 'till the last.
(Scene changes to a graveyard)
Heero: Spirit do you grow old? Am I suppose to be some kind of idiot??
Trieze: I do.
Heero: Are spirit's lives so short.
Trieze: My time upon the globe is very brief. I believe it will end upon the stroke of twelve. (Church bells ring)
Heero: Now? But I have learned so much from you! You have changed me!
Trieze: I leave you to the ghost of Christmas yet to come.
Heero: You mean the future?
Trieze: Go forth and know him better man! Mho ho ho!!!
Rei: Ok, take five!
Duo: (walks up in costume) I'm too short and I don't have any lines!! All I do is point!!
MLT: Think happy thoughts.
Duo: (pauses for a second.) *gasp* Heero! (gets little hearts in eyes)
Heero: *nosebleed*
MLT: Ack!! Too happy!! TOO HAPPY!!! Get onstage!! (pushes him onstage)
Loa: PLACES!!! (actors get in to place)
Heero: (standing around, until he sees smoke behind him and runs) Oh!! (He stops and the smoke blows by, he turns around to face Duo in his costume) Ah!! Am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas yet to come?
Duo: (nods)
Heero: I am prepared to follow and to learn, with a thankful heart. Will you not speak to me?
Duo: (shakes head and Points)
Mariemeia: Ooh, this is creepy. See ya'll at the finale! (Runs off)
Heero: Ah, yes. The night is waiting. Lead on.
(Scene changes to a city street where all the doctors are talking. They have umbrellas and its raining)
Dr. S: No, I don't know much about it either way, I only know he's dead.
Prf.. G: When?
Dr. S: Last night I believe.
Dr. J: Wonder what he died of, I thought he'd never go!! (They all laugh)
Instructor H: Well I don't care how or why he died. I'd just like to know what he's done with his money! (laughs)
Master O: Well, he didn't give it to me.
In. H: Its likely to be a cheap funeral, I don't know a single soul who would go to it.
Master O: I wouldn't mind going.
Other 4: Huh??
Master O: If lunch is provided! (They all laugh)
Heero: I know some of those men, spirit. Of what poor wretch do they speak?
Duo: (points)
(Camera focuses in on Trieze, Dorothy, Lady Une, and Trowa)
Trieze: Back from the house of sorrows I see.
Lady Une: Sad that he didn't die years ago the old skinflint.
Trrieze: What have you got for old Joe? To remember him by??
Trowa: I got these collar buttons from his dresser. Mother of pearl.
Noin: No, no. I got his bedcurtains!
Trieze: Hmm, cheap.
Dorothy: I got his blankets!
Trieze: Hmm, their still warm! I don't pay extra for that you know.
Dorothy: You should, it's the only warmth 'e ever 'ad. (Everyone laughs)
Heero: (turns and faces Duo) I understand spirit, the case of this unhappy man may be my own. My life turns that way now.
(Scene changes to Cratchits house.)
Heero: Its Bob Cratchit's house! A place of joy and laughter. Thank you for bringing me here. (pauses) Its so quiet. Why's it so quiet?
Duo: (points at window)
Loa: He kinda looks like a dementor.
Rei: What?
MLT: You mean those things from Harry Potter?
Loa: Yah!
MLT: We're gonna have to cut it off here. 'Kaye? See ya'll later!
(Everyone leaves. Wufei has the hood of his coat pulled over his head, hiding the hairstyle.)
Loa: Wreck your hair and we'll have to do it all over!!
MLT: Bye People! (waves) I'll post the rest later! Remember to review!
Rei: Only you can prevent forest fires!
Loa: Remember if anyone asks you to do drugs just say: "No way!"
MLT: Ok, where did that come from??
Rei: Heh, heh…
Loa: (Shrugs)
MLT: You guys really like teasing me huh? Bye!