Chandler was helping Monica get the apartment all decorated for Matthew's birthday party. He was a bit nervous because the whole gang was coming over for the celebration. He had wondered if maybe he should leave because he didn't want to cause any unwanted tension. This was Matthew's day and he didn't want to spoil it. Monica hadn't mentioned anything else about Chandler wanting to become Matthew's father, but Chandler just thought she needed some more time. However, he did not have time on his side. He was supposed to leave for California in a few days, and if Monica agreed to let him be Matthew's father, he was going to have to let his boss know so he could transfer back to New York. He contemplated moving back to New York anyway, just to be closer to Monica and Matthew. He hoped deep down that someday, they would be able to get back together and be a real family.
Chandler looked over at Monica, who was putting streamers over the front door, along with a big sign that read "Happy Birthday". Being a mother really suited Monica, he thought to himself.
"Hey, when is Matthew supposed to get back?" Chandler asked her.
"Well, my parents said they would be here around five. So we still have a couple of hours."
"Okay, good." He replied, as he watched her fidget with the sign, trying to get it straight. "You know, he is only turning four Mon, I don't think he'll even know what that says."
Monica laughed. "Well, its never too early to start learning to read."
Chandler laughed nervously. He looked around the apartment trying to see if there was anything else that needed to be done.
"Chandler, are you okay? You seem really anxious."
He sighed before sitting down on the couch. Monica walked over and sat next to him. "Well, its just that…everyone is coming over today. I just don't want anyone to have a bad time on my account, so maybe I should leave."
"Absolutely not!" Monica exclaimed, surprising Chandler a little. "Matthew would be really disappointed if you weren't here. And besides I think its time to get everything straightened out with the others."
Chandler nodded. "Mon, this may not be the best time to ask..but have you made any kind of decision about.."
"You being Matthew's dad?" She asked, interrupting him.
"Yeah. I mean I know you said you needed time. But I was just wondering if you've made any progress in your decision."
"Actually I have. Chandler, I just don't think it's a good idea." She told him as she placed her hand on his. "I'm sorry."
"I understand." He replied, sadly. "It wasn't fair of me to ask. I had the chance to be his dad and I blew it."
Monica felt really bad for him, but she just couldn't say yes. Chandler had hurt her so much, and she never wanted Matthew to feel hurt like that. She stood up and walked back over into the kitchen, and Chandler went into his temporary bedroom.
"Hey!" Rachel exclaimed a short time later, as she walked through the front door with a bag full of presents. Phoebe and Joey who were also carrying presents followed her. They all hugged and kissed Monica and put their gifts on the table.
"Where is the birthday boy?" Phoebe asked.
"He's with my parents. But he'll be here in an hour I think."
Chandler emerged from his room carrying a large box. "Hey Mon, where is the.." he started, but stopped himself when he saw his three estranged friends standing in the kitchen staring at him. "Oh, hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."
"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked him.
"Uhh, I've been staying here, Rach." He informed her as he looked questioningly at Monica. "You told them I would be here, didn't you?"
"Not exactly." Monica replied, looking a little nervous.
"Monica!" Chandler exclaimed. "Look you guys, I'm sorry. I'll just go." He told them as he sat the box down on the coffee table. "You need to wrap this for me." He said to Monica, obviously upset.
"No, Chandler. Don't go. I want you to stay." Monica pleadingly said, just as Ross walked in the front door.
"Yes, Chandler. Please do leave." Ross said, as he motioned for Chandler to leave through the open door.
"Okay. I don't want any fighting." Monica told the group as she closed the front door.
"You didn't tell us HE would be here." Phoebe said.
"I already said I would leave." Chandler replied.
"Then leave." Ross said.
"Shut the hell up, Ross!" Monica yelled. "You of all people just need to shut up for once. What the hell is your problem? Actually what is all of your problems? If anyone needs to leave, its all of you!"
"We don't understand why you would let Chandler back in your life after what he did to you, Mon." Rachel told her, calmly.
"Chandler wasn't the one who raped me! He was just as traumatized by what happened to me. Okay, maybe moreso! He got sick, and yes he made some mistakes, but my God how can you make him pay for the rest of his life? He got help and he is better now."
"Monica, its okay. You don't have to defend me. I appreciate the effort, though." Chandler told her as he put his hand on her shoulder.
"Don't touch my sister! You no good, piece of –" Ross started, but was cut off by Monica.
"I swear if you finish that sentence you will be so sorry." She told him on the verge of tears. "You don't understand anything about what either of us have been through. For one thing none of you would know what its like to be born as the result of a rape!"
"What does this have to do with Matthew?" Phoebe asked, confused.
"I'm not talking about Matthew, I'm talking about Chandler!" Monica sobbed.
The group looked at Chandler, in shock. He began to cry as well and was holding Monica close to him.
"Chandler, you were –" Rachel started.
"My mom was raped. And as a result, I was born." He told them. "When the same thing happened to Monica, I just lost it. I know, I should have told you guys but I didn't know how. And before I knew it I pretty much had lost control of my life. And I hope you don't think that I think I deserve your forgiveness. You guys were left here to help Monica pick up the pieces. I never should have left. I'm so sorry." He cried.
Everyone just continued to stare at Chandler, in total and utter disbelief. They all had tears in their eyes, and were all feeling pretty guilty they had never given him a chance to explain. Joey walked over to Chandler and pulled him into a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry man." Joey told him.
Monica watched Chandler and Joey hugging and felt really hopeful for the first time in months. Rachel and Phoebe both joined in the hug and told Chandler they were sorry. For the first time they could see how fragile Chandler really had been. To them, he'd always been the Chandler who couldn't cry and now he was sobbing. Monica glanced over at Ross, who looked as though he couldn't understand why the others were forgiving Chandler. She felt so disappointed in her brother. She knew he loved her and was only looking out for her, but she couldn't believe he was so unforgiving. He walked over toward Monica and pulled her into a hug.
"I'm sorry, Mon. I know you want this to happen, but I just can't do it. Not yet."
Monica just nodded. Her brother was stubborn, but hopefully it wouldn't be too much longer.
Matthew arrived a short while later with Monica's parents and was greeted by his mother and all of their friends. He jumped onto Chandler's lap, and the others were quite surprised at how well the two got along. Throughout the entire party, Matthew was either at his mother's side or with Chandler. And Monica, for the first time, started to realize just how hard it would be on her son once Chandler left. Matthew had always been so close to her Uncle Ross, but now it was Chandler he wanted to be with. And Monica couldn't let selfishness come before her son's happiness. She slipped into the hallway between the two apartments to try and get her head together. She was leaning against the wall when Chandler came into the hallway and joined her.
"What are you doing out here?" He asked her, as he leaned up against the wall as well.
"Just needed some alone time." She replied, smiling.
"Oh, well I'll leave you alone then." He said, turning back.
"No. Please stay."
"All right." He said, leaning against the wall again. "Thank you." He told her, after a few minutes of silence.
"For what?"
"For helping me get my friends back again. Well, with the exception of Ross."
"He'll come around."
"I hope so." Chandler replied, sighing.
"Chandler there's something I want to tell you."
"Sure. What's up?" He asked her.
"I think I made a mistake before."
"What do you mean?"
"I think when I told you that you couldn't be Matthew's father, I was being selfish. You know it was like you said about how you had a chance to be his father and you blew it. I think I was holding that against you. And that isn't fair. I was watching the two of you just now, and I see how much he loves you."
"I love him too." Chandler smiled.
"I know you do. And that's why I think my answer should be yes."
Chandler looked at her, his eyes filling with tears. "Really?"
"Yeah. I don't want to blow it a second time. He deserves a father and I want it to be you."
Chandler pulled Monica into a long hug. "Thank you so much. I won't let either of you down."
"I know you won't." She smiled, taking hold of his hand. "Now let's go tell OUR son the good news."
THE END!!
Stay tuned for the Epilogue! Thanks so much for reading and the feedback is greatly appreciated!!