~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear
* Shelby sat next to Scott on the dock, her feet dipping into the water. She couldn't believe what he had just said. "You can't be serious." She told him angrily. "You can't leave me here." Her eyes were searching his for some kind of sign that told her that he was joking. There was nothing reassuring in his eyes. Now she knew he was leaving. This was going to be her last night with him. "I love you, Scott. I don't want you to leave."
"I know, Shell. I know." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He could feel her pull away and she looked into his eyes. Then she kissed him.
This was a kiss unlike any of the other kisses that he and Shelby had ever experienced before. It was deep and passionate, laced with all the emotions he knew Shelby was feeling at that moment. When he finally broke the kiss, he saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She took off her jacket and laid back, pulling him on top of her, giving him another long kiss. Scott could tell what she wanted, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't do it knowing he was leaving the next day.
Pulling away from her, Scott looked deep into Shelby's eyes. "We can't." He told her sternly.
"Yes we can." She said quickly, attempting to kiss him again.
Grabbing her shoulders, Scott held her away from him. "I can't Shell. Not with me leaving tomorrow."
Shelby recoiled at that remark. "You don't want me?" She asked him softly. He shook his head and tried to plead with her, but she put her jacket back on and began to stand up. "Did you ever want me?"
Scott tried to make her understand, he tried to make her see his side, but she wouldn't listen. She turned and started to walk back to her bunk. "Come on Shelby, don't do this. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." She stopped, listening to his words. "It's not that bad. I can come to visit."
She turned around and for the first time, he had seen all the pain that she had tried so hard to conceal. "It is that bad, Scott." She wiped the tears away from her face, and tried desperately to make them stop reappearing. "Lets not make this one of these drawn out good-byes. I can't do that again." And with that, Shelby ran up to her dorm room, flopping down onto her bed to cry herself to sleep. The first of a long series of nights.*
Shelby laid on her stomach, sobbing into her pillow. It was morning now, and she hadn't slept a wink. All night she had remembered everything that had happened between her and Scott. That phone call had brought up every memory that she could possible recall, and just when she thought she couldn't cry anymore, she would be reminded of something else, and they would start to fall again. She knew how she must have looked to the other girls in the room, but part of her didn't care. They had tried to tell her that he wasn't worth it. Tried to make her eat, but she had turned them down. Then after everyone had gone off to class, she pulled on her sneakers, and walked down to the docks.
After watching her for about ten minutes, Jessica walked down to sit next to her sister. "Where'd you go last night? Who was on the phone?"
"As if you don't already know." Shelby said harshly. She knew she shouldn't take her pain out on her sister, but she couldn't help herself. "I'm pretty sure there's not a rock around this damn place that doesn't know that I talked to Scott last night." She turned to the trees and shouted. "That's right everybody! Shelby Merrick talked to Scott Barringer for the first time in three and a half months!" She dropped her voice a few levels and looked at her sister. "And it's tearing me up inside. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?" When she couldn't stand her sister looking at her anymore, Shelby stood up and raced into the woods.
She raced past Auggie and Juliet without out even a grunt of acknowledgement that they were there. "That's it." Juliet said harshly. "I am going to get that girl off of Scott. Even if it kills me." She turned to follow Shelby into the woods when Auggie grabbed her arm.
"Let me go." He whispered into her ear. "I think she needs someone with a level head talking to her." He kissed the top of her head and looked into her eyes. "You go see what you can get out of Jess." Juliet nodded in agreement and headed off to where Jessica sat on the docks. Her head in her hands. Auggie followed Shelby into the woods.
He found her a few minutes later slumped next to a tree. He braced himself for the words he knew that Shelby would throw his way. "You know, polite people say 'hi' right before they run over their best friends." He started, walking up and taking a seat next to her.
"Go away, Auggusto." Shelby spat in his direction. She didn't even look up to yell at him. That told Auggie more than he wanted to know. This was not going to be a normal argument with Shelby. No, he was going to get the truth out of her. The whole truth.
"Now Shelby, you know I can't do that." Auggie looked at her again and saw what he had missed the first time. Shelby was a wreck. Her hair was tangled and her face was especially pale and thin. He had known that she hadn't been eating, but this was unbelievable. He didn't think she would be able to take much more of this. "I can't just sit by and watch you destroy yourself."
"What do you care, Auggie?" She asked harshly. "What would it bother you if I died?"
That remark hit close to home. "Why wouldn't I? Shell, you can't do this to yourself." He slid his arm over her shoulder and pulled her toward him. She allowed him to pull her close. "If you were gone, I would actually have to start feeling good about myself." Shelby managed a soft laugh and Auggie continued. "You know that we all love you. Even if you're being a total Bitch." His brain noted that there is no reaction from Shelby at that remark. "Now that I've shared, it's your turn."
Shelby didn't allow him to let go of her, or even turn her around. "Just when I think I can get over this, he calls." She could feel Auggie's breath on the back of her neck, and she knew that she's safe with him. "He'll never know how much I love him Auggie. I don't even think he cares anymore. He didn't even think I mattered enough to tell me that he was leaving before it was too late. He told me the night before, Ez. The night before! Then to top it off, the one gift I wanted him to have, he shuns." She's sobbing now, and Auggie just holds her. "I wanted him to make love to me, and he told me that he couldn't.
"I wanted him to just go ahead and kill me so I wouldn't have to say good-bye. More than anything, I didn't want to have to say good-bye." Inside her head told her not to tell him anymore, but her heart told her that she needed to get it out. As usual, her heart won. Her heart always won. "I wanted to die. To just be gone. He killed my heart, but spared my body. I just wanted to make my body feel like my heart did." By now she was just babbling incoherently.
Auggie never let go of her. He knew what she was feeling. Not because he had been there, but because she was telling him. "It's okay Shell. You know that it's gonna be okay." He held her until the shaking stopped and she began to speak again.
"He told that me missed me. Then he expected to hear that I wanted him to come back." She closed her eyes and leaned back into Auggie. "I can't tell him that. I want him back, Auggie. You don't know how much I want him back, but he can't know that. I can't be responsible for all his pain. I just can't." She started rocking back and forth, her hands clutching her knees. Her eyes were still closed, and she leaned into Auggie a little further, allowing him to tighten his grip on her.
Auggie waited until he knew that Shelby was asleep before picking her up and heading back to campus. Peter saw him emerge from the woods with Shelby in his arms and he feared the worst. He ran over to him as fast as he could. "How is she?" He asked , trying to regain his breath.
Auggie showed Peter that Shelby was alright. "She's asleep." He handed her off to Peter, and brushed his hands together. "She talked a lot. About...you know."
"Scott?"
"Yeah, it's hard to explain Peter, but I understood her." Both of them started to head towards the girl's dorm. "She kept telling me how she felt, what she did, and I thought I already knew." He hesitated with the last line. "Guess, now I know how it feels to be you." Peter gave Auggie a huge hug after they had set Shelby up in her bed.
"And how does it feel?"
Shelby started to wake, but when she realized she was in bed, she just rolled over and slept some more. "Better than you'll ever know." He brushed a stray hair out of Shelby's eyes, and Peter left the room. Before, when Auggie had wanted to get close to Shelby, he knew it was only for her looks and reputation. Now, as he watched her sleep, he knew that he had finally got what he never knew that he wanted. A part of him loved Shelby more than life itself, and that was the part that made him stay with her until she woke.
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear
* Shelby sat next to Scott on the dock, her feet dipping into the water. She couldn't believe what he had just said. "You can't be serious." She told him angrily. "You can't leave me here." Her eyes were searching his for some kind of sign that told her that he was joking. There was nothing reassuring in his eyes. Now she knew he was leaving. This was going to be her last night with him. "I love you, Scott. I don't want you to leave."
"I know, Shell. I know." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He could feel her pull away and she looked into his eyes. Then she kissed him.
This was a kiss unlike any of the other kisses that he and Shelby had ever experienced before. It was deep and passionate, laced with all the emotions he knew Shelby was feeling at that moment. When he finally broke the kiss, he saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She took off her jacket and laid back, pulling him on top of her, giving him another long kiss. Scott could tell what she wanted, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't do it knowing he was leaving the next day.
Pulling away from her, Scott looked deep into Shelby's eyes. "We can't." He told her sternly.
"Yes we can." She said quickly, attempting to kiss him again.
Grabbing her shoulders, Scott held her away from him. "I can't Shell. Not with me leaving tomorrow."
Shelby recoiled at that remark. "You don't want me?" She asked him softly. He shook his head and tried to plead with her, but she put her jacket back on and began to stand up. "Did you ever want me?"
Scott tried to make her understand, he tried to make her see his side, but she wouldn't listen. She turned and started to walk back to her bunk. "Come on Shelby, don't do this. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." She stopped, listening to his words. "It's not that bad. I can come to visit."
She turned around and for the first time, he had seen all the pain that she had tried so hard to conceal. "It is that bad, Scott." She wiped the tears away from her face, and tried desperately to make them stop reappearing. "Lets not make this one of these drawn out good-byes. I can't do that again." And with that, Shelby ran up to her dorm room, flopping down onto her bed to cry herself to sleep. The first of a long series of nights.*
Shelby laid on her stomach, sobbing into her pillow. It was morning now, and she hadn't slept a wink. All night she had remembered everything that had happened between her and Scott. That phone call had brought up every memory that she could possible recall, and just when she thought she couldn't cry anymore, she would be reminded of something else, and they would start to fall again. She knew how she must have looked to the other girls in the room, but part of her didn't care. They had tried to tell her that he wasn't worth it. Tried to make her eat, but she had turned them down. Then after everyone had gone off to class, she pulled on her sneakers, and walked down to the docks.
After watching her for about ten minutes, Jessica walked down to sit next to her sister. "Where'd you go last night? Who was on the phone?"
"As if you don't already know." Shelby said harshly. She knew she shouldn't take her pain out on her sister, but she couldn't help herself. "I'm pretty sure there's not a rock around this damn place that doesn't know that I talked to Scott last night." She turned to the trees and shouted. "That's right everybody! Shelby Merrick talked to Scott Barringer for the first time in three and a half months!" She dropped her voice a few levels and looked at her sister. "And it's tearing me up inside. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?" When she couldn't stand her sister looking at her anymore, Shelby stood up and raced into the woods.
She raced past Auggie and Juliet without out even a grunt of acknowledgement that they were there. "That's it." Juliet said harshly. "I am going to get that girl off of Scott. Even if it kills me." She turned to follow Shelby into the woods when Auggie grabbed her arm.
"Let me go." He whispered into her ear. "I think she needs someone with a level head talking to her." He kissed the top of her head and looked into her eyes. "You go see what you can get out of Jess." Juliet nodded in agreement and headed off to where Jessica sat on the docks. Her head in her hands. Auggie followed Shelby into the woods.
He found her a few minutes later slumped next to a tree. He braced himself for the words he knew that Shelby would throw his way. "You know, polite people say 'hi' right before they run over their best friends." He started, walking up and taking a seat next to her.
"Go away, Auggusto." Shelby spat in his direction. She didn't even look up to yell at him. That told Auggie more than he wanted to know. This was not going to be a normal argument with Shelby. No, he was going to get the truth out of her. The whole truth.
"Now Shelby, you know I can't do that." Auggie looked at her again and saw what he had missed the first time. Shelby was a wreck. Her hair was tangled and her face was especially pale and thin. He had known that she hadn't been eating, but this was unbelievable. He didn't think she would be able to take much more of this. "I can't just sit by and watch you destroy yourself."
"What do you care, Auggie?" She asked harshly. "What would it bother you if I died?"
That remark hit close to home. "Why wouldn't I? Shell, you can't do this to yourself." He slid his arm over her shoulder and pulled her toward him. She allowed him to pull her close. "If you were gone, I would actually have to start feeling good about myself." Shelby managed a soft laugh and Auggie continued. "You know that we all love you. Even if you're being a total Bitch." His brain noted that there is no reaction from Shelby at that remark. "Now that I've shared, it's your turn."
Shelby didn't allow him to let go of her, or even turn her around. "Just when I think I can get over this, he calls." She could feel Auggie's breath on the back of her neck, and she knew that she's safe with him. "He'll never know how much I love him Auggie. I don't even think he cares anymore. He didn't even think I mattered enough to tell me that he was leaving before it was too late. He told me the night before, Ez. The night before! Then to top it off, the one gift I wanted him to have, he shuns." She's sobbing now, and Auggie just holds her. "I wanted him to make love to me, and he told me that he couldn't.
"I wanted him to just go ahead and kill me so I wouldn't have to say good-bye. More than anything, I didn't want to have to say good-bye." Inside her head told her not to tell him anymore, but her heart told her that she needed to get it out. As usual, her heart won. Her heart always won. "I wanted to die. To just be gone. He killed my heart, but spared my body. I just wanted to make my body feel like my heart did." By now she was just babbling incoherently.
Auggie never let go of her. He knew what she was feeling. Not because he had been there, but because she was telling him. "It's okay Shell. You know that it's gonna be okay." He held her until the shaking stopped and she began to speak again.
"He told that me missed me. Then he expected to hear that I wanted him to come back." She closed her eyes and leaned back into Auggie. "I can't tell him that. I want him back, Auggie. You don't know how much I want him back, but he can't know that. I can't be responsible for all his pain. I just can't." She started rocking back and forth, her hands clutching her knees. Her eyes were still closed, and she leaned into Auggie a little further, allowing him to tighten his grip on her.
Auggie waited until he knew that Shelby was asleep before picking her up and heading back to campus. Peter saw him emerge from the woods with Shelby in his arms and he feared the worst. He ran over to him as fast as he could. "How is she?" He asked , trying to regain his breath.
Auggie showed Peter that Shelby was alright. "She's asleep." He handed her off to Peter, and brushed his hands together. "She talked a lot. About...you know."
"Scott?"
"Yeah, it's hard to explain Peter, but I understood her." Both of them started to head towards the girl's dorm. "She kept telling me how she felt, what she did, and I thought I already knew." He hesitated with the last line. "Guess, now I know how it feels to be you." Peter gave Auggie a huge hug after they had set Shelby up in her bed.
"And how does it feel?"
Shelby started to wake, but when she realized she was in bed, she just rolled over and slept some more. "Better than you'll ever know." He brushed a stray hair out of Shelby's eyes, and Peter left the room. Before, when Auggie had wanted to get close to Shelby, he knew it was only for her looks and reputation. Now, as he watched her sleep, he knew that he had finally got what he never knew that he wanted. A part of him loved Shelby more than life itself, and that was the part that made him stay with her until she woke.