An aching pain or A silent madness
Ch 4
Summary and synopsis: Okay for all those of you that you don't want to read the other chapter or go back and find them. I am in writing this very short summary of the other chapters in this story. So far Sabretooth captured Jubilee and dragged to the Canadian woods, Wolverine followed. The usual fight between Sabretooth and Wolverine happened, but for once there was a winner, Sabretooth. After that Jubilee cut loose and paffed him into little tiny pieces. Jubilee doesn't get a chance say goodbye to Wolvie before he dies, and she killed Sabretooth. Enter the X-men, the professor shocked at Jubilee's actions tells the X-men not to go after her when she runs into the woods. Gambit disobeys and followed Jubilee to Wolverine's cabin in the woods. Jubilee takes Gambit into a town and leaves him there. The X-men hold a memorial service for Wolverine where Logan friends and Sean ask about Jubilee. After finding out about her location Sean and Heather fly off to see her disobeying Professor Xaiver's instructions. Meanwhile back at the cabin, Jubilee seems to be going mad. Jubilee is visited by the ghosts of her past. Her parents, Cynjen, Cyclops, A younger version of herself, and Everett. They all blame Jubilee for their deaths. Then comes Wolverine and Sabretooth these two apparitions are more real than the rest of the ghosts. After a confrontation with Sabretooth in which was able to cut her cheek. Jubilee turns her powers on herself and falls on to the cabin floor
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Sean and Heather landed in a clearing a little ways away from the cabin. They had made very good time from the mansion. Not that Heather's Canadian security clearance had hurt any getting them across the border. It was dusk when they saw first saw the cabin and they could barely make out the front door swinging on it's hinges.
Sean broke out in a dead run yelling all the way. "Jubilee lass, Where are you?" Rushing threw the open door he saw Jubilee laying very still in the middle of the floor. "Lass No." Sean dropped to the floor and grabbed Jubilees wrist feeling for a pulse. He felt a faint one fluttered beneath his fingers. He listened to her breathing, shallow but steady. Heather had just reached the door as Sean picked Jubilee up and put her gently into the bed along the wall.
"What happened to her Sean?"
"My guess is that the lass turned her powers on herself and tried to overload her ability to absorb them." Sean pointed at the charred shirt. "When her body couldn't absorb anymore it shutdown."
"Is there anyway to know how long she as been like that."
"No not really but she's in shock. We need to warm her up." Sean tucked Jubilee under the covers of the bed and gently kissed her forehead. "We'll help you lass, I promise."
He turned to Heather, "When was the last time you were out here?
"A year or two why?"
"How well does Logan keep his cabin stocked for supplies and things."
"This is Wolverine we are talking about here. With the cabin he's like and overgrown Boy Scout, always be prepared. There is plenty of stuff to stay here for a while. And he even got electricity put in." Heather flicked on a light switch illuminating the cabin. "Sean do you think we can actually help her?"
"I don't know. She had a rough time of it as of late. What do you know of Jubilee, Heather?"
"I have only met her in person once. Right after her and Logan got back from the orient, but Logan talks about her in some of his letters. When I first met her I didn't understand why he was letting her tag along with him or what he saw in her. She looked so young when I met her. I asked Logan what he thought he was doing taking a 10-year-old to live with a wanted mutant team. I pointed out that she wouldn't have the stable family life that she needed. Logan and I actually fought about her, he stated he couldn't just leave someone that saved his life. And I said he had a misplaced sense of duty. I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to change his mind but I had to try, my maternal instincts must have been in overdrive. I knew that I was holding the trump card in this fight, and much to my shame I used it. I reminded Logan of the fact that he never seemed to stay in one place for more than twenty minutes before running off on some adventure. And that it wasn't fair to let Jubilee get used to having him around and loving him if he was just going to leave her alone one day. Logan looked hurt and he might have caved in if Jubilee hadn't stormed through the door at that moment. She had listened at the door to the whole conversation. And I assume you have had a change to see what happens when she gets mad or someone tries to get between her and Logan.
"I have and it not pretty."
"I don't know about that I got a lovely new window for my trouble. And I had been complaining about the lack of light in my office."
"She punched a hole in a wall?"
"Blew a hole Sean, blew threw 6 inch reinforced admantium steel meant to hold some pretty powerful Mutants. Department H wanted to recruit her on the spot."
"Wow, I did not think the lass had that much power at that age. Your lucky she didn't try to hurt you too."
"Oh she did but Logan got in the way. And the lecture she gave me about her age, maturity, and people that stick their nose in where it doesn't belong would have caused a sailor to blush. But I still don't know that much about her. Just that brief meeting and some pieces from Logan."
Sean sighed, "Well I met Jubilee when she was still with the X-men. She was always so child like at the mansion, playing jokes with Bobby, rollerblading snapping her gum at briefings. I thought that she was very immature. I knew she was there to train with her powers but I couldn't imagine her going on a mission. A couple days later the team got in a firefight with someone who I can't remember now. And Jubilee had come along the minute that fight broke out, she became so serious. Always calculating the best position for her to be in, observing all the situations. And using her abilities to a tactical advantage, she blew up a piece of cement that a second later would have crushed me. Let me give you the brief version of Jubilee's history. You know that she is an orphan and her parents died in a car accident when she was 10. She was living at the mall when she jumped through one of Gateway's portals to end up at the X-men's Australia base. It was then she met Wolverine, and she helped him escape from the Reavers. She lived with the X-men for about four years during which time her friend from California Cynjen died. Jubilee also watched as Illyana died from the Legacy virus. Jubilee didn't really know Illyana that well but I think that was the first person Jubilee had to watch die. That was also one of the few times I ever saw her cry. When Generation X was formed she became a member and left the X-men. At that time Emma and myself became her guardians instead of the Professor. Then there was the whole Zero Tolerance thing. Jubilee was capture by Bastion and forced to tell secrets about the X-men. We still aren't sure about all the details, of what he did to her. She will not talk about it to anyone. Right after she escaped from Bastion Cyclops died after being implanted with a nano bomb. And then on a black day for the school one of me students died in a horrible plot. One of Jubilee's best friend's and her first crush, Everett Thomas," tears pooled in Sean's eyes, "and now this. I know adults that couldn't take what has happened to the lass. And I am not sure how to help her. I am her teacher for god's sake I just want to have the words to take her pain away. She's been a child in an adult's world for so long. We forget that she is only 17. I do anything to bring Wolverine back to her. He always found some way to help her she drew strength from him when he was around. I never understood her absolute trust in him when he couldn't be counted on to be there when she needed him. But she never doubted that he'd come back for her, never wavered in her faith. She wasn't ever scared by his feral state and even I am scared around a feral Wolverine. She always believed that Logan would get her though somehow. "
"I think I can explain what Jubilee saw in Wolverine. He tried to tell me once. Logan is like Jubilee's knight in shining armor. When the rest of her world is not like the fairy tale she imagined. Then she can pretend that he will come and save her, which most of the time he does. But she is also his savior, when they met he was helpless he need her and in her mind that made him real and human. He also in his own way loves her. Jubilee went so long after her parents died without loving or caring about someone, and then she found Logan. Her heart needed to care about him; she couldn't go without loving forever. While, he was basically helpless she fell in love with him its just part of her nature, and it filled a hole in her heart she didn't know that she had. They complete each other. Logan needed someone that could trust him with unwavering devotion but could still be his equal. Jubilee needed someone to care for and someone to place her faith in. Hopefully, we can get Jubilee through this but for know we have to wait until she wakes up. And who knows when that will be."
Jubilee did eventually wake up. The first thing she noticed was something cold and wet across her eyes and that she was laying down on something very soft. Then she remembered what she had done and what she needed to do. She was dead now could go find Wolvie. She sat up and that brought the attention of her lightly dozing watchers. Jubilee turned to face the source of the movement.
"Sean? Why are you here?" Jubilee caught another movement and saw Heather Hudson sitting near by. "And what's Wolvie's friend Heather doing here. I thought I was Where is Wolvie and why are we still in the cabin?"
"Whoa, lass how do you feel? You've been out for a while. What happened to you? We found you laying on the floor out cold."
"You mean I'm not dead? Then you must be dead? Oh god, I can't have killed you too. You were alive the last time I saw you. Was it Emplate that got you, Sean? I know, he got to the team while I was gone, didn't he. And Heather must have killed herself cause Wolvie died and since I couldn't save him I killed her too. How many more deaths will I cause?" Jubilee lowered her head and sobbed into her hands.
Not noticing the looks on the faces of Sean and Heather. Sean lifted up her chin to look Jubilee in the eyes. "Lass we are not dead. We came here in a mini jet when you weren't at Logan's funeral. Heather and I were worried about you."
Sean pulled Jubilee into a hug. Jubilee immediately recoiled. "No I don't trust you don't touch me. You could just seem real. This is probably a trick I know you must be dead only the dead are here."
Sean looked hurt and his mind was going a mile a minute. *Can the lass have had this much of a breakdown? Why does she assume we are ghosts? * "Jubilee why do you think were dead? What happened to make you think you can see the dead. What would make you believe that we weren't real?
Jubilee eyes focused on a point beyond Sean and Heather as he talked. Jubilee watched as a fog materialized behind them. The fog combined into a familiar shape, Wolvie. From that point on Sean and Heather only heard half the conversation.
"Are they real, she asked him?" The ghost nodded.
"Why aren't I dead I only wanted to be with you. He shook his head.
"No? What do you mean no? No you don't know why I am not dead or no I can't be with you. You do realize this would be a lot easier if you would talk to me. The head shakes no again.
"Oh going to be the strong silent type, okay one last question. Can they see you, another shake?"
"Oh great so now they think I'm nuts thank a lot Wolvie. Do I get a hug before you go?"
The apparition of Wolverine stepped between Heather and Sean causing both of them to shiver. Then they watched, as Jubilee seemed to hug something that wasn't there. After a long embrace Jubilee's arms dropped back to her sides. And her focus switched back to Sean and Heather.
"Okay so you aren't dead, your real. But now you both think I am fit for the loony bin, right. Want to take me and lock me away in a little rubber room fine it doesn't matter to me anymore."
"No lass that's not why we are here. We came because we care about you. I am still your guardian after all. Who were you talking to just now? We couldn't see anyone."
"I know apparently only I get to see him."
"Who?"
"Wolvie he was standing right behind you. Now are you going to lock me up and throw away the key? Can you just kill me instead? It hurts too much to stay around and why should I have to suffer anymore. You all need to leave soon he'll be coming back."
"Who will be coming? And no we are not going to kill you. You think you saw Wolverine, and he was real."
"He is as real as you are Sean, he just can't talk. And now you both need to go before Sabretooth comes. You won't be safe here when Sabretooth comes."
"What makes you say that lass?"
"Sabretooth and Wolvie are the most real of my ghosts. Jubilee pointed to a cut on her cheek. He did this to me right before I tried to kill myself. All my dead have come to me; Mom, Dad, Cynjen, Cyke, Ev, even a younger version of myself. They all have visited. Wolvie and Sabretooth have the most substance; I can pass my hand right through the others. I can't let Sabretooth hurt you guys too. I know he won't kill me he'd lose his little plaything. I don't have that guarantee with you guys. Since you couldn't see Wolvie you are probably safe but, but I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore. Sean you understand I can't Heather get hurt she's an innocent. I don't want you to stay either. I just want to be left alone, but I am guessing that you won't go will you Sean."
"No I won't lass."
"Why the other X-men left me here they left me alone like I wanted. I am sure that Professor X gave you the same order about me that he gave them."
"Actually, lass he did. And I don't claim to know the Professor's mind, but I know he was wrong and I told him as much. You shouldn't be alone Jubilee not if you don't have to be. You should be with people that care about you. That's why Heather and I came out here, we care about you. The others would have been here but we thought it best if only a couple of us came.
"Sure right Sean, if they had really want to be here they would have followed me the night I ran into the forest."
Heather who had been silent for this whole exchange finally found the right words. "Jubilee, I understand you're hurting. When Sean said he wanted to come here I volunteered to go with him. One because I knew where the cabin was. And second because I wanted to see you. I wanted to thank you."
"Thank me for what? I killed your friend. I killed Wolvie."
"I want to thank you for notifying me about Logan. None of the X-men would have thought of that. They thought that the X-men were his whole life, you knew better. I also had a message from Yuko. I talked to her and Amiko at the service."
"How was Miko?"
"Fine Jubilee, whatever you said to her helped. Yuko wanted me to thank you for that and to tell you that there would always be a home for you with her and Amiko. Jubilee there are a lot of people that still care for you, lots or people that want to be here for you.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do people care about me. I just end up killing them. You all only care about me because you think I am a child and any adult cares when a child gets hurt. Heather, I barely even know you. If you are here because of some promise you made to Wolverine then release you from it. You don't have to be here. Neither do you, Sean. This is some weird teacher student obligation for you isn't it. You lost one student and you can't stand the thought of losing another. I am not your student anymore, Sean and I was already lost before this. You lost me the night you lost Ev. So now that I have released you of any bonds to me. Will you both go?"
"Jubilee you may not be my student, but I am still your guardian. So as long as you stay out here so will I."
" I can't keep you safe, Sean I couldn't keep any of them safe. I don't want you to see me like this. Heather, thank you for coming but go I can't deal with people, Sean go with her please."
Heather sighed, "All right Jubilee, Ill go I really only want to talk to you anyway. I'll hike into town and catch a ride from there. That will leave you and Sean the mini jet if you need it."
"We won't because Sean will be getting in it and flying off very soon."
"Not unless you are next to me Jubilee."
"Come on Sean." Heather pulled on his arm. "I want to talk to you before I go and I left some stuff in the mini jet."
"Can I leave you for a little bit, lass. You won't try anything?"
"No, I'll be a good girl."
"Good I'll be back as quick as I can."
Sean and Heather left the cabin. "Sean, the only reason I am leaving is because Jubilee seem so definite on it and it won't do any good to have her fighting with me all the time. She'll get used to you being here, she knows you better anyway. However, you need to be careful around her. Whatever she thinks about those ghosts could affect you too. Jubilee is still a latent psi, right."
"Yes but she still hasn't exhibited any powers except strong mental shield and a telepathic invisibility."
"You know as well as I do that trauma can cause her powers to become active. And if she become a psi then she may drag you into her mind. And at then point what is real for her may become real for you to."
"If I could see those ghost of hers maybe I could help her banish them."
"Sean, don't let her become to dependant on you or next time when something happens it will be harder and harder to bring her back. I don't know what you are going to do about her thinking that Sabretooth and Logan are real but I believe that it is a perception of her mind. She wants them to be real so they are. I'm going to hike into town it's not that far, and get a ride home from there. I'll leave my cell phone my number is preprogrammed in. Call me if you need anything. Good luck, Sean."
"Heather, I know that at some point Jubilee will want to really thank you for coming out here. And I want to thank you for coming with me. Just know that we both appreciate you."
"I understand, that she can't say that right now and she's hurting. Your very welcome Sean, someone had to come with you to show you where the cabin was. Otherwise you'd scream down this entire forest looking for her."
Authors notes
Just for you all who thought I was never going to work on this story again HAHA. Now that that's done I figure I can have this wrapped up in three more chapters or so. Stay tuned. And a special thanks to my beta reader Genki Girl.