~Disclaimer: I own none of them, I'm just playing with them, and I'll be returning them when I get through. I also stake no claim to the episode Exposed that I used for the Flashbacks. They belong to the writers and FFC.~
This will be the LAST installment of the "To Thine Own Self Be True Series." The Cliffhangers heading up to the cabiun will be featured in the "Cabin Bound Series."
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear.
Group had ended a few hours ago, and Shelby Daisy sat on the edge of the docks, dipping their feet in the water. Neither had said a word to each other sine they got there. Peter had decided that there was no curfew. The two girls just sat there next to each other. They're eyes doing all the talking. A few more seconds of this, and Shelby was sure she was going to kill someone. So she decided to get something off of her mind. "Auggie kissed me today." She said simply.
At first Daisy didn't register what Shelby had said. Then it hit her. "Wha?" She choaked on the hot chocolate that she had brought for the two of them to share. Thinking for a moment, Daisy set the cup down. "Would you mind repeating it, Shell?"
Taking a deep breath, Shelby prepared herself to say it again. "Auggie kissed me today. In my room. When he came to ask me what to pack." She watched Daisy's face for a sign that she was about to do...anything. "Daze? Did you hear me?"
There was a sniffle, then Daisy was laughing so hard Shelby had to hold onto her so she wouldn't roll off of the dock. Daisy didn't know how she kept herself from falling into the water. After calming down, Daisy took another calming sip of the hot chocolate. "I heard you." She said, still trying to keep her laughter under control. "Why did he do it though?"
Shelby pulled her knees up to her chest and looked out over the mountains. "That will be a mystery forever." Shelby pryed the cup out of Daisy's hand and took a long sip. "He loves Queenie, but he's been so confused lately. Now that Scott's back-"
"You're confused too?" The laughter had gone from her voice. Her firend needed her help, and this was no laughing matter. "It's poison you know?" The line she had said one time before. "If you don't get it out of your system-"
"It's gonna kill me." Shelby loked into her friends eyes. Daisy had alwyas been there to talk to her. She had always been there when she needed help. "I know, I know. You've given me the speach before. Remember?"
* Shelby was down by the river. Cleaning up and calming down. She didn't even hear Daisy coming up behind her. When she turned around and came face to face with Shelby. "Leave me alone." She spat at her. "I'm not going to talk about it." She started walking back to camp with the pail of water. Stopping every few feet to rest. Daisy took her place beside Shelby, helping her with the bucket. "He catches touchdowns and he goes out with cheerleaders, and he thinks that's the world. He knows nothing about the world. About me." Daisy just listened to her. She knew that Shelby had to get it out. "If I talk to him I'll tell him everything. I'll look into those sweet eyes and I won't be able to stop it from coming out. Once I start, it'll all come out, and he'll hate me forever." They stopped and Shelby leaned onto a rock.
Daisy just stood next to her. "It's posion you know?" She said softly, but loud enough for Daisy to hear you. "All of it. It eats you up inside." She hugged Shelby and turned her to look into her eyes. "And you know what's gonna happen to you if you don't spit out that posion?"
Shelby didn't want to listen to logic. "I lose either way, if I keep it in or spit it out."
"Maybe..." Daisy knew it was going to take a lot more than logic to get Shelby to come out and tell Scott everything. "...Maybe not." *
"And did you listen?"
It took only a second for Shelby to return to reality. "I did...It took me a while to do it, but I did." She leaned back onto her palms. "But I didn't spit it out fast enough. It drove me to let down my wall in front of everyone. Even Peter wasn't ready for what I was about to do."
* "My step-father had a heart attack." Shelby said hesitantly.
Scott didn't know what to say. He hung his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't know, okay. I'm sorry." Then he buried his head in his hands. "You must feel like-"
"Don't tell me how I feel." Her eyes connected with Scott's and Peter was certian that Shelby had gone through the same thing Scott had. "He's just some guy that married my mom. That's all. Jusst an extra plate at dinner." Shelby shook her head and began to stand. "I don't even know him." Then she walked away.
Scott followed suit, and Sophie stood to follow them. Peter knew that Scott could get what he needed out of her. "Soph," he said softly, poping her on the leg with the back of his hand.
Shelby skipped a few feet ahead of her, wanting to get away from Scott, but not wanting to run again. No matter how far she went, he just kept coming. "Is he okay?" Scott's voice came from behind her. "Is he still in the hospital? What?" He was catching up to her.
Finally Shelby whirled on him. "I don't care!" She spat at him. trying to get him to leave her alone. "I HOPE he dies, I've prayed for it my whole life." She turned away from him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. All she wanted was for it to be over. She just wanted him out of his life.
"There's something you're not telling me?"
"No." Pushing her hair out of her eyes, all she could do was lie. 'He'll see right through me.' A voice inside her head said calmly. 'Why don't you just tell him?'
By this time Scott became worried. Shelby was one to hold it inside until it exploded, and that's the one thing he wanted to stop from happening. "You have to tell me what happened."
"I don't have to tell you anything."
Shelby was hesitating on the last word. A mistake that could give her secret away. Scott rubbed his mouth with two fingers, trying to put togeather what was inside her head. "He did it to you, didn't he? The same thing that happened to me. H-he abused you, he molested you-"
She put on a fake smile and faced him. "No."
But he didn't stop there. "It's not you're fault." She kept edging further and further away from him. Grabbing her by the arm, he turned her to face him. "Look at me alright! You have to tell me what happened."
She spun out of his grip and started to walk away. "Just stay out of my life!" She spat back at him over her shoulder.
He grabbed her again, trying to see the look on her face. "No I'm not gonna just- just-"
Shelby pushed him away from her. She didn't want his pity, or anything that came out of him finding out about her secret. "JUST GO! JUST GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY LIFE-" She stopped screaming and headed towards camp. Not looking at what she was doing, Shleby cleaned off the food able with a swipe of her arm. Then she started knocking things around, getting too close to the fire for Peter's liking. He pulled her back and she shoved him away. Scott watched in amazement as she brushed her hair out of her eyes, and attemptedto calm down. Sophie was thje first one to get to her, pulling her into a hug. The rest of the Cliffhanger followed suit, all except Scott, who stood by himself trying to figure out what had just happened.*
"Yeah." Daisy shifted her weight so she was laying down on top of the cold wood, her eyes never leaving her friends face. They were remembering things that they had wanted to forget. Things that would help them understand each other. "Hey," Shelby looked at her and smirked. "Remember the 'Mess with Mandy' game?" She reached out for the hot chocolate only to have her hand hit by Shelby's. "That was some quality entertainment."
* They all sat around the camp fire that night. Telling Amanda their worst stories of theire lives. Some of them were even making them up. It was Auggie's turn and he was really getting into his story. "...Now that foster home was wacked. Making meth in the basement. Learned some cool tricks though..."
Amanda was actually buying what Auggie was telling her. "You know how to make meth?"
Ezra came in then. He just had to show off his expertise. "Oh we all do. Simple chemeistry, you know? Now re-fining smack...THERE's an art."
That was all it ook for Shelby to get into the mood to tell her tale. Only this one was real. "You want to hear a really amazing one?" Amanda watched as Shelby's face changed. "When I was fifteen I started running away. It was really tough just staying alive." She allowed herself to show no expression. "My best friend Patty, I watched her o.d. right in front of me."
Ezra knew that on some level this was real, but he wanted to see how far Shelby would go. "Come on Shell. Tell the real story."
Shelby focused on the fire. "When things got...hard, like really bad. I had to sometimes, I started turning tricks." She watched as the group became very uncomfertable. "It was easy money when I wanted it. Just walk down the street, and smile, and the men would...." She glanced over to Scott, then to Daisy. "That's when my mother found me, and brought me here. I'm going to bed." She stood and walked over to the tents.
Scott rose after her. "Shelby?" She stopped and turned. "What was that?"
Trying her best to be strong, Shelby put on a smiling face. "Just having some fun. Playing the 'Mess with Amanda' game."
Scott didn't want to hear it. "That story you told, nothin' to joke about."
She knew that she had upset him, but she really didn't care. "I'll tell you what. You handle it your way, and I'll handle it mine." She climbed into her sleeping bag and closed her eyes. Praying that her nightmare wouldn't come again. *
"That's when Scott found out the truth. That's when he turned away from me." Feeling herself drop, Shelby loked up at the stars. She could no longer see Daisy's face, and hoped that that was for the best. "He shunned me......"
"As I recall, that was when you told us about Patty." Daisy lifted herself up onto her elbow. Over the years, Shelby had come to tell her about Patty. What made her special, how she was like, even the events surruonding her death. Even Daisy agreed that she was like Shelby's former confidant. "What was it she used to say?"
"To thine own self be true." Shelby's face showed no emotion. Her mind was thinking about the possibilties of Scott finding out about her and Auggie's kiss. "Oh God Daze, what if Scott finds out. He will never trust me again."
"Then he's not the one." Daisy said simply. Brining back he memory of the first time she had been told she was like Patty. The very same time she had consoled Shelby about her love for Scott.
Shelby rummaged through her pack. She couldn't help the way that Scott saw her. If he didn't want her, fine. She could deal with the disapointment. "It's not what you did." She heard Daisy say behind her. "It's him. It's his scar tissue."
She didnt't even seem to notice that somone was behind her. "Every day, I stand in the shower, everyday, and I think: What I waste. What a waste 'cause I'm never gonna get clean." She abandoned her pack and just stood there. Not moving. "The things I did, I can't even touch my own skin. Even I don't understand it." She turned to look at Daisy. "How can he?"
Daisy didn't know what Shelby wanted to hear. "He'll try-"
"I had SEX with men for money." Shelby knew she shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be fighting Daisy on this. "Do you know what that makes me?" The hurt in her eyes was almost to much for Daisy to bare alone.
Her voice was clear, and she tried to stay strong. "A survivor." She had to make Shelby see that it wasn't her fault. She just HAD to.
"He'll never understand."
"Well then he's not the one." Daisy sounded so sincere.
"My friend Patty, the one who o.d.'d? You're a lot like her." Shelby allowed herself to break down.
Daisy took one look at Shelby and held her hand out to her. "I'll take that as a compliment." Pulling Shelby into her arms, she just stood there and listened to her sobs of grief. *
"Come one girl." Daisy said after what seemed like forever. "Lets get you back to your room. We still have that Quest tomarrow." SHe helped Shelby up and walked with her back to the Infermery. "By the way, why did you say you'd go?"
This will be the LAST installment of the "To Thine Own Self Be True Series." The Cliffhangers heading up to the cabiun will be featured in the "Cabin Bound Series."
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear.
Group had ended a few hours ago, and Shelby Daisy sat on the edge of the docks, dipping their feet in the water. Neither had said a word to each other sine they got there. Peter had decided that there was no curfew. The two girls just sat there next to each other. They're eyes doing all the talking. A few more seconds of this, and Shelby was sure she was going to kill someone. So she decided to get something off of her mind. "Auggie kissed me today." She said simply.
At first Daisy didn't register what Shelby had said. Then it hit her. "Wha?" She choaked on the hot chocolate that she had brought for the two of them to share. Thinking for a moment, Daisy set the cup down. "Would you mind repeating it, Shell?"
Taking a deep breath, Shelby prepared herself to say it again. "Auggie kissed me today. In my room. When he came to ask me what to pack." She watched Daisy's face for a sign that she was about to do...anything. "Daze? Did you hear me?"
There was a sniffle, then Daisy was laughing so hard Shelby had to hold onto her so she wouldn't roll off of the dock. Daisy didn't know how she kept herself from falling into the water. After calming down, Daisy took another calming sip of the hot chocolate. "I heard you." She said, still trying to keep her laughter under control. "Why did he do it though?"
Shelby pulled her knees up to her chest and looked out over the mountains. "That will be a mystery forever." Shelby pryed the cup out of Daisy's hand and took a long sip. "He loves Queenie, but he's been so confused lately. Now that Scott's back-"
"You're confused too?" The laughter had gone from her voice. Her firend needed her help, and this was no laughing matter. "It's poison you know?" The line she had said one time before. "If you don't get it out of your system-"
"It's gonna kill me." Shelby loked into her friends eyes. Daisy had alwyas been there to talk to her. She had always been there when she needed help. "I know, I know. You've given me the speach before. Remember?"
* Shelby was down by the river. Cleaning up and calming down. She didn't even hear Daisy coming up behind her. When she turned around and came face to face with Shelby. "Leave me alone." She spat at her. "I'm not going to talk about it." She started walking back to camp with the pail of water. Stopping every few feet to rest. Daisy took her place beside Shelby, helping her with the bucket. "He catches touchdowns and he goes out with cheerleaders, and he thinks that's the world. He knows nothing about the world. About me." Daisy just listened to her. She knew that Shelby had to get it out. "If I talk to him I'll tell him everything. I'll look into those sweet eyes and I won't be able to stop it from coming out. Once I start, it'll all come out, and he'll hate me forever." They stopped and Shelby leaned onto a rock.
Daisy just stood next to her. "It's posion you know?" She said softly, but loud enough for Daisy to hear you. "All of it. It eats you up inside." She hugged Shelby and turned her to look into her eyes. "And you know what's gonna happen to you if you don't spit out that posion?"
Shelby didn't want to listen to logic. "I lose either way, if I keep it in or spit it out."
"Maybe..." Daisy knew it was going to take a lot more than logic to get Shelby to come out and tell Scott everything. "...Maybe not." *
"And did you listen?"
It took only a second for Shelby to return to reality. "I did...It took me a while to do it, but I did." She leaned back onto her palms. "But I didn't spit it out fast enough. It drove me to let down my wall in front of everyone. Even Peter wasn't ready for what I was about to do."
* "My step-father had a heart attack." Shelby said hesitantly.
Scott didn't know what to say. He hung his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't know, okay. I'm sorry." Then he buried his head in his hands. "You must feel like-"
"Don't tell me how I feel." Her eyes connected with Scott's and Peter was certian that Shelby had gone through the same thing Scott had. "He's just some guy that married my mom. That's all. Jusst an extra plate at dinner." Shelby shook her head and began to stand. "I don't even know him." Then she walked away.
Scott followed suit, and Sophie stood to follow them. Peter knew that Scott could get what he needed out of her. "Soph," he said softly, poping her on the leg with the back of his hand.
Shelby skipped a few feet ahead of her, wanting to get away from Scott, but not wanting to run again. No matter how far she went, he just kept coming. "Is he okay?" Scott's voice came from behind her. "Is he still in the hospital? What?" He was catching up to her.
Finally Shelby whirled on him. "I don't care!" She spat at him. trying to get him to leave her alone. "I HOPE he dies, I've prayed for it my whole life." She turned away from him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. All she wanted was for it to be over. She just wanted him out of his life.
"There's something you're not telling me?"
"No." Pushing her hair out of her eyes, all she could do was lie. 'He'll see right through me.' A voice inside her head said calmly. 'Why don't you just tell him?'
By this time Scott became worried. Shelby was one to hold it inside until it exploded, and that's the one thing he wanted to stop from happening. "You have to tell me what happened."
"I don't have to tell you anything."
Shelby was hesitating on the last word. A mistake that could give her secret away. Scott rubbed his mouth with two fingers, trying to put togeather what was inside her head. "He did it to you, didn't he? The same thing that happened to me. H-he abused you, he molested you-"
She put on a fake smile and faced him. "No."
But he didn't stop there. "It's not you're fault." She kept edging further and further away from him. Grabbing her by the arm, he turned her to face him. "Look at me alright! You have to tell me what happened."
She spun out of his grip and started to walk away. "Just stay out of my life!" She spat back at him over her shoulder.
He grabbed her again, trying to see the look on her face. "No I'm not gonna just- just-"
Shelby pushed him away from her. She didn't want his pity, or anything that came out of him finding out about her secret. "JUST GO! JUST GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY LIFE-" She stopped screaming and headed towards camp. Not looking at what she was doing, Shleby cleaned off the food able with a swipe of her arm. Then she started knocking things around, getting too close to the fire for Peter's liking. He pulled her back and she shoved him away. Scott watched in amazement as she brushed her hair out of her eyes, and attemptedto calm down. Sophie was thje first one to get to her, pulling her into a hug. The rest of the Cliffhanger followed suit, all except Scott, who stood by himself trying to figure out what had just happened.*
"Yeah." Daisy shifted her weight so she was laying down on top of the cold wood, her eyes never leaving her friends face. They were remembering things that they had wanted to forget. Things that would help them understand each other. "Hey," Shelby looked at her and smirked. "Remember the 'Mess with Mandy' game?" She reached out for the hot chocolate only to have her hand hit by Shelby's. "That was some quality entertainment."
* They all sat around the camp fire that night. Telling Amanda their worst stories of theire lives. Some of them were even making them up. It was Auggie's turn and he was really getting into his story. "...Now that foster home was wacked. Making meth in the basement. Learned some cool tricks though..."
Amanda was actually buying what Auggie was telling her. "You know how to make meth?"
Ezra came in then. He just had to show off his expertise. "Oh we all do. Simple chemeistry, you know? Now re-fining smack...THERE's an art."
That was all it ook for Shelby to get into the mood to tell her tale. Only this one was real. "You want to hear a really amazing one?" Amanda watched as Shelby's face changed. "When I was fifteen I started running away. It was really tough just staying alive." She allowed herself to show no expression. "My best friend Patty, I watched her o.d. right in front of me."
Ezra knew that on some level this was real, but he wanted to see how far Shelby would go. "Come on Shell. Tell the real story."
Shelby focused on the fire. "When things got...hard, like really bad. I had to sometimes, I started turning tricks." She watched as the group became very uncomfertable. "It was easy money when I wanted it. Just walk down the street, and smile, and the men would...." She glanced over to Scott, then to Daisy. "That's when my mother found me, and brought me here. I'm going to bed." She stood and walked over to the tents.
Scott rose after her. "Shelby?" She stopped and turned. "What was that?"
Trying her best to be strong, Shelby put on a smiling face. "Just having some fun. Playing the 'Mess with Amanda' game."
Scott didn't want to hear it. "That story you told, nothin' to joke about."
She knew that she had upset him, but she really didn't care. "I'll tell you what. You handle it your way, and I'll handle it mine." She climbed into her sleeping bag and closed her eyes. Praying that her nightmare wouldn't come again. *
"That's when Scott found out the truth. That's when he turned away from me." Feeling herself drop, Shelby loked up at the stars. She could no longer see Daisy's face, and hoped that that was for the best. "He shunned me......"
"As I recall, that was when you told us about Patty." Daisy lifted herself up onto her elbow. Over the years, Shelby had come to tell her about Patty. What made her special, how she was like, even the events surruonding her death. Even Daisy agreed that she was like Shelby's former confidant. "What was it she used to say?"
"To thine own self be true." Shelby's face showed no emotion. Her mind was thinking about the possibilties of Scott finding out about her and Auggie's kiss. "Oh God Daze, what if Scott finds out. He will never trust me again."
"Then he's not the one." Daisy said simply. Brining back he memory of the first time she had been told she was like Patty. The very same time she had consoled Shelby about her love for Scott.
Shelby rummaged through her pack. She couldn't help the way that Scott saw her. If he didn't want her, fine. She could deal with the disapointment. "It's not what you did." She heard Daisy say behind her. "It's him. It's his scar tissue."
She didnt't even seem to notice that somone was behind her. "Every day, I stand in the shower, everyday, and I think: What I waste. What a waste 'cause I'm never gonna get clean." She abandoned her pack and just stood there. Not moving. "The things I did, I can't even touch my own skin. Even I don't understand it." She turned to look at Daisy. "How can he?"
Daisy didn't know what Shelby wanted to hear. "He'll try-"
"I had SEX with men for money." Shelby knew she shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be fighting Daisy on this. "Do you know what that makes me?" The hurt in her eyes was almost to much for Daisy to bare alone.
Her voice was clear, and she tried to stay strong. "A survivor." She had to make Shelby see that it wasn't her fault. She just HAD to.
"He'll never understand."
"Well then he's not the one." Daisy sounded so sincere.
"My friend Patty, the one who o.d.'d? You're a lot like her." Shelby allowed herself to break down.
Daisy took one look at Shelby and held her hand out to her. "I'll take that as a compliment." Pulling Shelby into her arms, she just stood there and listened to her sobs of grief. *
"Come one girl." Daisy said after what seemed like forever. "Lets get you back to your room. We still have that Quest tomarrow." SHe helped Shelby up and walked with her back to the Infermery. "By the way, why did you say you'd go?"