Disclaimer: Blah. Feh. Zurl. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PUT A DISCLAIMER HERE! Nah, nah, nah, nah. Bah.
Author's Note: Feel free to give me suggestions of what you want to have happen. Just say so in the review.
An X-Men's Worst Nightmare
Part Two
by Chigliak
"From this point onward, coffee is banned," Dubya Bush continued.
Little cries of outrage erupted from the crowd of shoppers.
"They can't seriously expect us to go through with this, can they?"
"I need coffee! It's the only way for me to maintain my sanity around the kids!"
"Mon dieu!" Gambit exclaimed. "Without coffee, life just not worth livin'." He rushed to the cleaning department, grabbed a bottle of bleach, and attempted to drink it.
"Gambit, no!" yelled Cyclops. He and Wolverine raced over to the aisle and wrestled the bleach bottle away from him.
"You gone crazy, Cajun?" Wolverine demanded. "*I've* got to marry Goth Gyrl, but you don't see *me* trying to off myself."
"Sorry guys," Gambit said sheepishly. "Gambit gone a little bit crazy there, for a min'ut."
"Just stay calm," Cyclops told him. "We should go back to the Professor, and plan our next move."
"Right," growled Wolverine. "I'm not letting some pantywaist sissyboy take away my coffee without a fight."
*****************************
On the way back to the mansion, The Crucifixxer killed 22 Backstreet Boys fans.
*****************************
"Outlawed coffee?" the Professor asked, in aghast. "You're kidding."
"Non."
"We need to find a way to stop this," the Professor mused, "but HOW?" Suddenly, he brightened. "I know!"
"Oh, no," muttered Wolverine, having an idea of what was coming. "You wouldn't. Please tell me you won't-"
"I'll call Goth Gyrl and Bloodlust Boy! They'll help us."
Cyclops' face fell. "Why THEM, Professor?"
The Professor shrugged. "The author of this fanfic wants it," he explained. "We have no control over it."
The four of them glanced around nervously, as if anticipating a visit from the author. When they didn't see her, they relaxed.
"Damn you anyhow, Chigliak," Wolverine grumbled softly.
"Logan, don't encourage her."
The Professor wheeled his chair over to the computer, and sent a message to the Crazed Due. "Goth Gyrl, Bloodlust Boy, we need you!"
Goth Gyrl's voice came on. "Who is this?" she asked, sounding groggy.
Gambit elbowed Wolverine again, and snickered at Goth Gyrl. Wolverine smacked him.
"Goth Gyrl, this is Professor Xavier. We have received terrible news. Dubya Bush, our president, has outlawed coffee!"
A long pause came over the speakers.
"Goth Gyrl?" Professor Xavier asked, thinking she'd been disconnected.
"Omifuk!" Goth Gyrl screamed. "Is this the X-Men?!"
"Yes."
"You guys rawk! I watched your cartoon all the time, when I was little."
"Cartoon?"
"Yeah! It was on Fox."
A grim look crossed the Professor's face. "That goddamned Fox channel...always screwing with us superheros. Making us sell-outs."
"WB's doing the same," Goth Gyrl informed the Professor.
"WB?!?!?! They're even worse than Fox. Damn them!"
"Ah, Professor, Gambit thinkin' y'best get to th' point, and call them over."
"Goth Gyrl," the Professor started again, "Dubya Bush has outlawed coffee. Will you help us fight him?"
"You can count on it," Goth Gyrl promised. "No freakin' president's going to tell me if I can or can't drink coffee."
***************************
Because the X-Men now owned the Crazed Duo's car, and the Crazed Duo had no means of transportation, Cyclops, Gambit, and Wolverine had to pick up the two.
The Crucifixxer ran over ten Britney fans.
"Wolverine!" Goth Gyrl shrieked, throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms around him.
Wolverine cringed, and uttered a noise between a whimper and a whine.
As the car ran over yet another teenybopper, Cyclops and Gambit exchanged looks.
This was going to be a long, long day.
TO BE CONTINUED....
Author's Note: Feel free to give me suggestions of what you want to have happen. Just say so in the review.
An X-Men's Worst Nightmare
Part Two
by Chigliak
"From this point onward, coffee is banned," Dubya Bush continued.
Little cries of outrage erupted from the crowd of shoppers.
"They can't seriously expect us to go through with this, can they?"
"I need coffee! It's the only way for me to maintain my sanity around the kids!"
"Mon dieu!" Gambit exclaimed. "Without coffee, life just not worth livin'." He rushed to the cleaning department, grabbed a bottle of bleach, and attempted to drink it.
"Gambit, no!" yelled Cyclops. He and Wolverine raced over to the aisle and wrestled the bleach bottle away from him.
"You gone crazy, Cajun?" Wolverine demanded. "*I've* got to marry Goth Gyrl, but you don't see *me* trying to off myself."
"Sorry guys," Gambit said sheepishly. "Gambit gone a little bit crazy there, for a min'ut."
"Just stay calm," Cyclops told him. "We should go back to the Professor, and plan our next move."
"Right," growled Wolverine. "I'm not letting some pantywaist sissyboy take away my coffee without a fight."
*****************************
On the way back to the mansion, The Crucifixxer killed 22 Backstreet Boys fans.
*****************************
"Outlawed coffee?" the Professor asked, in aghast. "You're kidding."
"Non."
"We need to find a way to stop this," the Professor mused, "but HOW?" Suddenly, he brightened. "I know!"
"Oh, no," muttered Wolverine, having an idea of what was coming. "You wouldn't. Please tell me you won't-"
"I'll call Goth Gyrl and Bloodlust Boy! They'll help us."
Cyclops' face fell. "Why THEM, Professor?"
The Professor shrugged. "The author of this fanfic wants it," he explained. "We have no control over it."
The four of them glanced around nervously, as if anticipating a visit from the author. When they didn't see her, they relaxed.
"Damn you anyhow, Chigliak," Wolverine grumbled softly.
"Logan, don't encourage her."
The Professor wheeled his chair over to the computer, and sent a message to the Crazed Due. "Goth Gyrl, Bloodlust Boy, we need you!"
Goth Gyrl's voice came on. "Who is this?" she asked, sounding groggy.
Gambit elbowed Wolverine again, and snickered at Goth Gyrl. Wolverine smacked him.
"Goth Gyrl, this is Professor Xavier. We have received terrible news. Dubya Bush, our president, has outlawed coffee!"
A long pause came over the speakers.
"Goth Gyrl?" Professor Xavier asked, thinking she'd been disconnected.
"Omifuk!" Goth Gyrl screamed. "Is this the X-Men?!"
"Yes."
"You guys rawk! I watched your cartoon all the time, when I was little."
"Cartoon?"
"Yeah! It was on Fox."
A grim look crossed the Professor's face. "That goddamned Fox channel...always screwing with us superheros. Making us sell-outs."
"WB's doing the same," Goth Gyrl informed the Professor.
"WB?!?!?! They're even worse than Fox. Damn them!"
"Ah, Professor, Gambit thinkin' y'best get to th' point, and call them over."
"Goth Gyrl," the Professor started again, "Dubya Bush has outlawed coffee. Will you help us fight him?"
"You can count on it," Goth Gyrl promised. "No freakin' president's going to tell me if I can or can't drink coffee."
***************************
Because the X-Men now owned the Crazed Duo's car, and the Crazed Duo had no means of transportation, Cyclops, Gambit, and Wolverine had to pick up the two.
The Crucifixxer ran over ten Britney fans.
"Wolverine!" Goth Gyrl shrieked, throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms around him.
Wolverine cringed, and uttered a noise between a whimper and a whine.
As the car ran over yet another teenybopper, Cyclops and Gambit exchanged looks.
This was going to be a long, long day.
TO BE CONTINUED....