Upgrade!-II of II
A/N: Why wasn't there an author's note in the last one? Because. Me and Notepad are not getting along. *growl* I swear, after this I switch to HTML for my fics...
Coming Soon: Most likely, Upgrade!-III of II. ~_~
~*~
Stories-
8. Hope-Yamato/Mimi/Sora love triangle
9. Life Bonds-Sora x Biyomon
10. Mine-Ken x Daisuke
11. Mystery-Takeru x Daisuke
12. Privacy-Takeru x Daisuke
13. Push-Taichi x Koushiro
14. Reflection-Koushiro x ?
~*~
Hope
A/N: Not for the die-hard Mimi/Matt fan...oh, this takes place in the second episode.
Another note to FFN readers: I had my doubts about posting this, since there are a *lot* of Mimi/Matt fans on FFN. But, since most of you don't read my fics...what the hell?
____________
Yamato turned away from the smiling girl.
Yes, he knew that Mimi liked him.
Yes, he knew that everyone at camp assumed that he liked her back. Referred to as 'The Golden Couple'.
Meant for each other.
So cute together.
Did Yamato like her back?
Not in the least.
He looked down, not wanting to receive the 'oh, their so meant for each other' looks or hear the mutterings of "he's so shy about liking her."
Especially from...him...
Why did everyone assume that he liked her?
He barely even saw her, and when he got stuck in the cabin with her at camp, he didn't even acknowledge the fact that she was alive.
Why was he expected to like her back?
Truth was, he had his sights from someone else from camp.
But no.
That person would never like him back.
________________
Mimi turned away from Yamato, blinking back tears.
Why didn't he like her back?
Back during the school year, many boys chose her as a crush.
Many girls has envied the hordes of boys she attached, so it was hard for her to find a true friend.
Only few boys resisted her charm, and this wasn't Mimi's well-sized ego talking. Even boys in the 3rd and 5th grades admired her beauty. Around 10 boys barely noticed she was alive.
Ishida Yamato was one of them.
Figures. Hundreds of boys liked her, and the one she really wanted didn't like her back.
One of those girls must have a voodoo doll of her and Yamato.
It just wasn't fair.
All her life, Tachiwaka Mimi got everything a girl could ask for.
And the one thing she really wanted...she couldn't have.
___________
Sora clenched her fists in anger.
How could Yamato do that to Mimi!?
Mimi...deserved him.
She was pretty.
She was smart, even though she didn't show it that much.
She was caring, even if she didn't act like it.
Wait-one of those was wrong.
Mimi wasn't pretty.
She was...beautiful.
How could Yamato not like her?
She deserved him!
If anything, Yamato didn't deserve her!
He wasn't good enough for her!
Mimi deserved someone...better than Yamato.
Better than any of them!
...Better than her.
Yes, Sora was willing to admit it.
Even though she barely knew what love was, she had...those feelings for Mimi.
She must have been one of the only ones who put up with Mimi in camp.
Except the fanboys, of course.
But they where different. Mimi didn't speak to them much; they just followed her around, she just lead them about.
According to Mimi, having so many people in love with you got boring after a while.
But Sora wouldn't know about that.
To state it in correct terms, she was the only girl who put up with Mimi.
In hopes of...
No. It wasn't going to happen.
Impossible.
No matter how hard she wished, no matter how much she dreamed...
Useless.
Mimi, her princess, was placed on a pedestal, just out of Sora's reach...
~*~
Life Bonds
A/N: Here you go, Traveler...hope you like it!
Oh, and this fic is part of the 'Lost Library', fics that are never meant for FanFiction.Net eyes, and only meant for yours. I'll post a link to the 'Lost Library' eventually, just not now.
D/C: I don't own Sora, Biyomon, or any Digimon characters
******************************************************
~I can't feel this way! I mean, it just isn't...right! I'm not supposed to love girls! And I'm NOT supposed to love a Digimon! I mean, it's BIYOMON!~
~I can't feel this way! I mean, it just isn't...right! I'm not supposed to love girls! And I'm NOT supposed to love a human! I mean, it's SORA!~
~These two identical, in unison thoughts came from a young girl and her digital monster partner.~
~Taichi likes me. I should I like him. I'm supposed to like him! But...I don't!~
~I'm supposed to be happy for Sora. I should want her to be with Taichi. I shouldn't want to peck Taichi's eyes out! I'm suppposed to be happy! But...I'm not!~
"Sora? Are you all right?" Taichi asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder, the others passing them by. She whirled to face Taichi, jerking his hand off her shoulder.
"Fine! Just fine!" Sora yelped, hoping that Taichi would be oblivious to what was bothering her. Of course, it being Taichi...
"Ok. But, if you're ever down, just talk to me, ok?" Taichi chirped, walked up to meet up with the rest of the group. Sora sighed, in somewhat relief and in somewhat depression.
Mostly depression.
~Poor Sora...what's bothering her? I wish she would tell me what's wrong...if we can't..be...the least I can do is be a good friend...~
Biyomon sadly watched her partner, as her eyes skimped around the area, somewhat paranoid.
She felt...sad.
But not her own sorrow...
Sora's.
And that just brought on much of her own sorrow.
Which there was too much of already.
Way too much.
"Biyomon? Are you ok?" Biyomon heard Sora ask from above her.
It's enough that she has her own problems to worry about, she doesn't need to worry about mine, too...
"Yeah, Sora. I'm fine." Biyomon answered, looking up at the taller human. "But what about you?"
~Why is Biyomon worrying about me? She should be taking care of her problems now, worrying about herself...not about me...~
"Me? I'm fine, Biyomon. Why?" Sora responded, squatting down to be more on Biyomon's level.
"You seem...sad about something, Sora. I'm worried about you." Biyomon answered, pondering how close she and Sora were. Sora conjured up a mask of happiness.
"I'm fine, Bi! Don't worry yourself about me!" Sora yipped, ruffling her feathers.
I don't like lying to you...I really, really, don't...please forgive me...
"Alright..." Biyomon said reluctantly. "Isn't time for Koushiro's watch?" Sora checked her digivice.
"Yeah, it is. Come on, let's go..." Sora informed her. "Hey, Bi?" she asked as both Digi-Destined of Love and her Digital Monster Partner walked back to camp.
"Yeah?" Biyomon said, fully attentive. Sora turned her head toward Biyomon, and gave a sincere smile.
"Thanks."
That was the only word uttered before both saw was in each other's eyes.
A glimmer.
A glimmer...
A glimmer of love...
~*~
Mine
A/N: Cynthia-san, this is my second submission for one of your contests. (I'll have you all know that my first one was a Jyori song fic for her Jyori contest.) Crazy obsessive Ken, just the way you like it! ^_^
Note: sorry...this fic gets...horribly out of tune. I have no other way to put it. *shrugs*
~*~
I own you.
Do you understand?
I found you passed out a couple of miles from here.
You were in a battle, apparently. You lost some blood.
Guess your friends didn't care enough to bring you back with them. They even took your digimon...
I'm putting my money on 'they didn't even notice he was gone'.
They left you.
I found you.
So know you belong to me.
You'll be my slave.
You'll be my personal slave, and I'll use you for anything I want.
*Anything*.
Don't worry...I'll make sure that you'll enjoy it too.
I always wanted this opportunity.
You don't have your digimon, your digivice...
It's murder, really.
But not quite, when you think about it.
In fact...
...it's exactly the opposite.
And what is the opposite of murder, exactly?
...Heh, heh, heh.
You're mine.
I own you.
I want you.
They don't.
Do you understand?
~*~
...For the first time in my life, I really think I'm terrified.
If you would have asked me two hours ago, I would have just said that Ichijouji Ken was some power-crazed lunatic.
Not mentioning the fact that he could kill me with one glance, of course.
but now...he has me at a serious disadvantage here. I'm all alone, injured, without my digimon, and chained to some big table...thing.
...Kami-sama, I have bad luck.
Oh, well...the others will probably come barging in here soon enough, and rescue me. Even though it is kind of degrading, it works. And it does beat being stuck with this psycho.
He's looking at me. Not like he's going to hurt me...but like he has something else in mind. It's kind of creepy...
Dammit, where are the others? He has this demented look in his eyes...he's plotting something, isn't he?
He's going to do something to me. He's going to humiliate me, hurt me....
The usual. But, something just feels...different this time, like he has something else in mind...something...something...
Oh, whatever. I don't have time to worry about this...I need an escape plan.
~*~
~Escape plan, escape plan, need an escape plan...I know! I'll-~
"Trying to get away, are you?" Daisuke would have fell off the...something that he was chained on too, if he could.
~Oh, god...he's like a mind reader or something...I'm screwed. Oh dear Kami-sama, I am *screwed*.~
Ken smiled his trademark grin that had the toughest digimon crying and whimpering for their Elecmon. "Afraid, Daisuke?" His grin growing, he took a step forward.
"Afraid!? Why could I be afraid of some deranged lunatic like you?!" Ken's only respond was a whip to Daisuke's cheek.
"You have to learn not to show disrespect your new master, Daisuke-kun."
"Master? MASTER?! Nuh-uh! No way!" ~I have no chance. I have NO chance in hell...I mine as well begin polishing his boots now.~
"Oh, trust me, you won't be polishing my boots." ~He's doing that mind reading thing again!~
"Don't worry, Daisuke-kun...you'll be enjoying it as much as I will. I'll make sure of it."
Daisuke blinked, as if he had just been hit in the hit in the head with a digi-rock. ~Did he just call me...?~
"Tell me, Daisuke, have you ever wanted something so bad...so bad that you think about it day in and day out, you dream about it, you cry out in your sleep for it, you fantasize about..." the boy gave a laugh, in it's own way sounding beautiful and crazed, "You obsess over it. Whenever you get a chance, you just...look at it, knowing fully you could have it, but you don't do a thing, even though you lust for it, but you wait for that perfect moment, that moment when the guard is down, and you can make your entrance and claim it for yours without a fight?" Ken's voice had died down to a deadly-and somehow psychotic- whisper.
Daisuke squirmed in his chains, desperately wishing to be anywhere but there. ~Shimatta, he's really going to kill me..well, at least he didn't do that mind reading thing again...besides, he won't kill me! The others'll be here soon! ...yeah, and so will Sailor Saturn minus the shorty shorty fuku.~
"Just stay still..." Ken brought himself on top of Daisuke, smiling down at him. "It won't hurt a bit."
Instead of bringing a fist down, Ken smirked down at the chocolate-eyed boy, who was squirming and struggling against his chains. ~This'll be fun...~ Bringing the obviously halfhearted struggles to a stop, Ken pushed his lips right on Daisuke's. Not wasting a moment, he traced his tongue along Daisuke's soon-to-be bruised lips. Smirking to himself, he wrapped his arms around his waist roughly, as if claming Daisuke as his.
After breaking off the kiss, he stared down at the other boy. "Well?"
Daisuke took in a deep breath, as if he had just awoken from being trapped in a gas chamber. "No one's...e-ever...done that..." Ken barely nodded.
"I thought so. Now...what do you say?" He blinked from his position under Ken, then gave a slight smile.
"...Master."
~*~
I know, too damn short...*sigh* Oh, well....*shrug*
~*~
Mystery
A/N: Geh...Kate-chan, here's your second gift! And no...this isn't a sequel, and I don't know if it's fluff or not yet. You'll find out soon enough. Oh, and Yama Chick-chan, I'm sorry! I promise, I'll start your fic right AFTER this one, I promise. ^_^;;;
And I was going to make this fluffy, since it was supposed to be a sequel to my other gift for Kate. But, I found this song, and does it not just seem like it was written about Daisuke? By the way....it's Building a Mystery by Sarah McLachlan. Well..some seem like Ken, and some Daisuke, and some both, but...eh. ^_^;;;;;
___________
~you come out at night
that's when the energy comes
and the dark side's light
and the vampires roam
you strut your rasta wear
and your suicide poem
and a cross from a faith
that died before Jesus came
you're building a mystery~
Hikari always asks me to talk to you.
You know, tell you about how I would like to be friends, how I want to stop this stupid feud we have...yadda yadda.
Yadda.
Oh, sure, I would love to say that. Really, I would...
But I guess it would make it hurt even more.
...It. You know..
My feelings. For you.
The ones that are so humiliating and shocking that they have to be hidden from anyone...
Namely you.
Oh, I'm pretty sure other's know.
Kind of.
Not really.
Yamato might know.
I don't think so, though...
I mean, how is he supposed to know, how is anyone supposed to know...
When I won't even let myself think about you?
you live in a church
where you sleep with voodoo dolls
and you won't give up the search
for the ghosts in the halls
you wear sandals in the snow
and a smile that won't wash away
can you look out the window
without your shadow getting in the way
oh you're so beautiful
with an edge and a charm
but so careful
when I'm in your arms
Freak, weirdo, lunatic, psycho, jerk, jackass...
That's what pretty much every kid in the 5th grade at Odiaba Elementary says about you.
But...you aren't a freak. You aren't a weirdo. You aren't a lunatic. You aren't a psycho. You aren't a jerk.
And you aren't a jackass.
You may be one to me, but...
Hey, I can live with it.
Big deal...you're a little weird.
Just a little...
Nothing's wrong with that.
I like it.
...I just wish that you didn't act so mean to me...
I really want to be your friend.
If I can't be...a...you know...the least I could be is a friend...
~'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully~
Why do you bottle up your feelings so much?
Well...some of them.
The important ones.
I mean, there has to be more than you then what we see.
There has so.
I know there is.
~you woke up screaming aloud
a prayer from your secret god
you feed off our fears
and hold back your tears~
If you ever just need to let off some steam...
I'll be here, Daisuke.
I'm always here.
But you'll never notice...
I want to help you!
I NEED to help you, Daisuke!
I mean, you must have so many emotions inside you...
Let me help.
Please...
Ha. Fat chance of you doing that...
give us a tantrum
and a know it all grin
just when we need one
when the evening's thin
Oh, sure, you do let some emotions out at me...
You scream at me, kick, punch...
It's not fair.
I love you...
I love you!
Why...why can't you love me back?
I haven't been through enough in my life...is that it?
Do I have to go through some major pain in my life to get what I want?
Knowing life, and knowing you...if I ever go through that, I probably still won't have you.
Still...I like it when you get mad at me.
It helps that you at least feel something toward me...
oh you're a beautiful
a beautiful fucked up man
you're setting up your
razor wire shrine
You're...you're...
No offense...
But you're really fucked up, Daisuke.
And that just makes you all the more attractive to me...
I want to be able to...to...
To hold you, you know?
...No, you don't.
'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully
~'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully`
You're...you're just a mystery to me, Motomiya Daisuke.
But, I promise...
One day...
I'll have you solved.
~*~
Privacy
A/N: Kate, this is for you! Congrats for writing 50 fics, and I'm pretty sure you requested a Daikeru...since you did say that you love Daisuke and TK together.
Okay, let me just apoligize for this-I'll admit myself-the beginning is pretty good. But I got really stuck at the end, so...
Okay-the ending is amazingly half-assed. But hopefully, the sequels will make up for it. -_-
____________
~Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can't you see
You're the only one who can shine for me~
Daisuke's eyes bore into the milkshake that sat before him.
No.
It wasn't possible.
He didn't.
He liked Hikari.
He liked Hikari.
Her.
Not...not him.
Not...Takeru.
He blinked.
Geez, he was doing a really bad job of convincing himself that he was heterosexual.
It wasn't like he wanted to be gay...he just was.
And if he could change it, he would.
But whoever was up there hated him, so he couldn't.
...
It just wasn't fair!
Could nothing in life go his way?
It sounded selfish...but it was true!
Everything that ever happened to him happened the exact opposite of the way he wanted it to happen.
It sounded stupid...but it was true.
"Is it too selfish to want everything in life to go my way?" he thought outload, oblivious to stares.
"Well, Daisuke, that's really the definition of selfish."
"Huh?"
His gaze turned upward.
It was Takeru.
Takeru.
Takeru...
"Where's everyone else? Weren't we supposed to be meeting here?" Daisuke shrugged.
I like it better when it's just you and me, Takeru...
Daisuke kicked himself under the table.
No! He couldn't think like that! It was wrong!
Wrong, wrong...
WRONG!
"...Daisuke? Are you all right?"
~It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me~
Something in Daisuke's heart twitched slightly.
...Takeru cared.
That made him feel good.
For all the wrong reasons...
"Daisuke? What's wrong?" Those big blue orbs seem to dig into his soul, reading what he did deep inside his heart, what he would carry to the grave...
Daisuke shook his head slightly, as if trying to rid the thoughts about Takeru from his mind.
Kami-sama, he was a freak.
~When your soul is tired
and your heart is weak
Do you think of love
as a one way street
Well it runs both ways,
open up your eyes
Can't you see me here,
how can you deny~
"Daisuke?" Takeru inquired, almost afraid for the other boy.
"Yeah, I'm fine! Geez, mind your own business!" Daisuke kicked himself for the second time.
He was such a jerk.
Takeru fell in silence. Why was Daisuke so...mean to him? It wasn't like he ever did anything to him...
Hikari was the one that constantly hugged him, flirted with him...
It's not like he wanted her to do that!
It did feel nice though.
I mean, to him...
Hikari...
She was like...
Like...
A big sister.
Hikari was always a big sister to him.
Never a girlfriend.
...He just never looked at her that way.
Never could. Looking at Hikari that way...
Was like trying to look at Yamato that way.
Just way too weird.
And really, really, really disgusting.
"You look a little sick..." Takeru stretched a hand out to Daisuke, but he shoved it away.
He doesn't want you touching him.
"You should go home...if you're sick."
"I'm not sick."
"...You seem kind of weird, Daisuke."
"I'm not! Look, I'm not in the mood for this, all right?!" Takeru stared at the other boy, almost in shock.
"All right..."
~It's a private emotion that fills you tonight...~
Daisuke sighed and shook his head.
"Just forget it." Takeru nodded, and looked away.
~Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here
till your tears run dry
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight...~
Takeru looked at Daisuke. What was wrong with him?
"You know, Daisuke..."
Daisuke snapped his gaze up.
"Wha-at?" Takeru flinched slightly at the tone of his voice.
"If there's anything you need to tell me..." Daisuke looked Takeru in the eyes, his voice shaking.
"Any...anything?"
This is your chance, Daisuke...
"Yeah..." Takeru smiled at him. "Anything at all."
Daisuke suddenly found something very interesting to look at on the counter.
"Well...."
"Yeah?"
"See, the thing is..."
"What?"
"I..."
"Yes?"
"I gotta go!" And with that, Motomiya Daisuke ran out of there, away from Takaishi Takeru, away from his love...
___________
Yes, yes, I know. Half assed. Don't even say anything. I promise, the sequels will be better!
~*~
Push
A/N: My first Taishiro in a while...did I do any after my series? Ah, I forget. And yes, I'm aware that the lyrics say SHE, but since this is such a good song (By Matchbox 20, by the way), I don't want to change them.
________
~She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well~
"I don't know. It just feels like...we aren't good enough to beat the Dark Masters."
How could he say that?
"Well, I know that...I'm not, anyway."
How could he say that about himself?
As stupid as it may sound, Taichi was deeply offended by Koushiro words.
Was he not good enough?
How could Koushiro think that about himself?
Especially since Taichi thought so much of Koushiro...
~This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good~
"We can do it." Koushiro nodded.
"I don't mean to be negative about it...but the Dark Masters are tougher than any other ememy we've been up against. It just might be a little tough to beat them, that's all..."
Taichi blinked, slightly worried. Didn't Koushiro believe in him? Didn't he believe in himself?
"Come on, Koushiro...you can't give up on me now!" Taichi ruffled his hair. Koushiro smiled slightly.
"I'm not...it's just..."
~I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will~
How could he think that!?
About him!?
About himself!?
Especially...since Taichi thought so much about him...
"Koushiro, we can, and will beat the Dark Masters! And I'll be dammed if I'm letting you leave just because you're being a wuss!"
~Well I will~
~She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
'cuz It's a little bit dirty well~
Taichi resisted the urge to bash his head against a tree.
Why did he have to let his temper flare up?
Did he have to treat the people that he felt about...that way like garbage?
But, that was Yagami Taichi.
A jerk.
~Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged you,
And you don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all~
"Koushiro, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday-" Koushiro shook his head.
"You don't have to, Taichi."
Why did he have to be so...nice?
"So your temper flared up a little. It's not a big deal."
Why did he have to be so understanding?
Why did he have to be so...Koushiro?
"Look, it's my fault, Koushiro."
"No...don't blame yourself-"
~I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will~
Next thing that Taichi was aware of, he grabbed Koushiro.
"Look, if I want to apoligize and blame myself, I'll apologize and blame myself!"
~Oh but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this Baby, baby~
Was Koushiro afraid of him or something?
Taichi couldn't blame him.
He was such a jerk to him...
Why did he have to loose all control around him?
Not fair...he didn't have to be such an asshole to Koushiro just becuase
beating the Dark Masters was a little tough...
Or he couldn't find Hikari, or he had to help Hikari...
Or because Koushiro would never love him back...
"Kou...Koushiro? Can...can we talk?"
~I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna take you, take you, yeah, well I will, I will, I will, I will
I will, I will, I will, Yeah, yeah, push you around,
I'll drag you down, I wanna push you around
Well I will~
"Shiro-kun...I'm so sorry I ever did that to you..."
"It's okay, Taichi..."
A kiss.
"Heheheh...you look so cute when you blush, you know that?"
"...You do too."
"Yeah...but you're just so cute..."
"...Thank you...you know, someone would catch us."
"Do you care?"
"...Not really."
"Then what's the point of worrying about it? Don't act like Jyou..."
"No point..just thinking.."
Another kiss.
"Then don't think."
"...Okay."
________
Mmmm....I think I could have done better on this one...oh, well. I'll do better on that joint fic I'm doing with Cybra, then...
~*~
Reflection
A/N: Well, What can I say? This song is just perfect for Kou-chan. And, to all you Koushiro-haters, who think this song would be more appropriate for Yamato or Mimi: Nyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaa. Oh, and I didn't say who he was dreaming about, but it's obvious who it isn't. Oh, and I might a sequel to this, but only if I feel like it. And, I'm not sure who to put him with, so suggestions are more than welcome.
Later Author's Note: Now that I think about it, this song does not seem fitting for Koushiro at all. Do not be surprised to see this song used in a later fic of mine.
~Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart~
His 'friends'.
They *thought* they knew him.
The key word there: Thought.
In reality, they didn't know a thing about him.
They just thought that he was some geek who only cared about his computer.
Some genius.
Some heartless, uncaring, genius.
He knew that they all thought that the only thing that he was good for was solving problems.
All of them.
Even that one person who's understanding and love for him would mean more than anything in the universe...
~Who is that person I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside~
Mirrors.
He hated them.
Why?
They didn't lie.
The thing about Izumi Koushiro was that he could lie.
He did that often.
He wore a mask of lies, not once taking it off to take a break.
He couldn't.
No one would understand.
They could say that it was all right, everything would be ok, that they understand, but it was all lies.
Lies, lies, lies.
Lying was the only thing he could do right...
The only goddamn thing.
~I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am~
That was a dream of his.
That one day, he would take off his mask of lies...
And people would see him for what he truly was...
And they would love him for it...
And that person...
That one, special person...
Would love him more than anyone ever would.
But...
They were just dreams.
Childish, foolish dreams...
Dreams got you nowhere in life, as cruel as it sounded.
Just little worlds that you would toy with, perfect situations that you wished for..that would never happen.
~Who is that person I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside~
He never knew himself.
He never knew who he truly was.
Sometimes, it could be the biggest relief in the world, not knowing who you truly are. Don't ask why...he couldn't have given you an answer that you would have understood.
That any of them would have understood...
Then, it could be the biggest pain in the world.
Not knowing who you really are...
One day, he would reveal his true self to himself...and everyone else...
Would they care?
Would they love him for it?
He didn't know.
Would they hate him for it?
Probably.
!\~There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why~
He wanted to know why.
Why did he have to hide?
Wouldn't just be easier to just show his true self?
It would make him happier...
But no.
It just wasn't possible.
~Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside~
Could he?
Could he, one day, tell that person how he felt?
Show everyone who he really was?
Just because he said he would doesn't mean that he will...
Would he?
He wanted to.
But, you don't always get what you want...
When would he truly be who he was?
What is a long way from here?
Or was it a day away?
Did it matter?
Did he care?
Did anyone else?
~*~
A/N: Why wasn't there an author's note in the last one? Because. Me and Notepad are not getting along. *growl* I swear, after this I switch to HTML for my fics...
Coming Soon: Most likely, Upgrade!-III of II. ~_~
~*~
Stories-
8. Hope-Yamato/Mimi/Sora love triangle
9. Life Bonds-Sora x Biyomon
10. Mine-Ken x Daisuke
11. Mystery-Takeru x Daisuke
12. Privacy-Takeru x Daisuke
13. Push-Taichi x Koushiro
14. Reflection-Koushiro x ?
~*~
Hope
A/N: Not for the die-hard Mimi/Matt fan...oh, this takes place in the second episode.
Another note to FFN readers: I had my doubts about posting this, since there are a *lot* of Mimi/Matt fans on FFN. But, since most of you don't read my fics...what the hell?
____________
Yamato turned away from the smiling girl.
Yes, he knew that Mimi liked him.
Yes, he knew that everyone at camp assumed that he liked her back. Referred to as 'The Golden Couple'.
Meant for each other.
So cute together.
Did Yamato like her back?
Not in the least.
He looked down, not wanting to receive the 'oh, their so meant for each other' looks or hear the mutterings of "he's so shy about liking her."
Especially from...him...
Why did everyone assume that he liked her?
He barely even saw her, and when he got stuck in the cabin with her at camp, he didn't even acknowledge the fact that she was alive.
Why was he expected to like her back?
Truth was, he had his sights from someone else from camp.
But no.
That person would never like him back.
________________
Mimi turned away from Yamato, blinking back tears.
Why didn't he like her back?
Back during the school year, many boys chose her as a crush.
Many girls has envied the hordes of boys she attached, so it was hard for her to find a true friend.
Only few boys resisted her charm, and this wasn't Mimi's well-sized ego talking. Even boys in the 3rd and 5th grades admired her beauty. Around 10 boys barely noticed she was alive.
Ishida Yamato was one of them.
Figures. Hundreds of boys liked her, and the one she really wanted didn't like her back.
One of those girls must have a voodoo doll of her and Yamato.
It just wasn't fair.
All her life, Tachiwaka Mimi got everything a girl could ask for.
And the one thing she really wanted...she couldn't have.
___________
Sora clenched her fists in anger.
How could Yamato do that to Mimi!?
Mimi...deserved him.
She was pretty.
She was smart, even though she didn't show it that much.
She was caring, even if she didn't act like it.
Wait-one of those was wrong.
Mimi wasn't pretty.
She was...beautiful.
How could Yamato not like her?
She deserved him!
If anything, Yamato didn't deserve her!
He wasn't good enough for her!
Mimi deserved someone...better than Yamato.
Better than any of them!
...Better than her.
Yes, Sora was willing to admit it.
Even though she barely knew what love was, she had...those feelings for Mimi.
She must have been one of the only ones who put up with Mimi in camp.
Except the fanboys, of course.
But they where different. Mimi didn't speak to them much; they just followed her around, she just lead them about.
According to Mimi, having so many people in love with you got boring after a while.
But Sora wouldn't know about that.
To state it in correct terms, she was the only girl who put up with Mimi.
In hopes of...
No. It wasn't going to happen.
Impossible.
No matter how hard she wished, no matter how much she dreamed...
Useless.
Mimi, her princess, was placed on a pedestal, just out of Sora's reach...
~*~
Life Bonds
A/N: Here you go, Traveler...hope you like it!
Oh, and this fic is part of the 'Lost Library', fics that are never meant for FanFiction.Net eyes, and only meant for yours. I'll post a link to the 'Lost Library' eventually, just not now.
D/C: I don't own Sora, Biyomon, or any Digimon characters
******************************************************
~I can't feel this way! I mean, it just isn't...right! I'm not supposed to love girls! And I'm NOT supposed to love a Digimon! I mean, it's BIYOMON!~
~I can't feel this way! I mean, it just isn't...right! I'm not supposed to love girls! And I'm NOT supposed to love a human! I mean, it's SORA!~
~These two identical, in unison thoughts came from a young girl and her digital monster partner.~
~Taichi likes me. I should I like him. I'm supposed to like him! But...I don't!~
~I'm supposed to be happy for Sora. I should want her to be with Taichi. I shouldn't want to peck Taichi's eyes out! I'm suppposed to be happy! But...I'm not!~
"Sora? Are you all right?" Taichi asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder, the others passing them by. She whirled to face Taichi, jerking his hand off her shoulder.
"Fine! Just fine!" Sora yelped, hoping that Taichi would be oblivious to what was bothering her. Of course, it being Taichi...
"Ok. But, if you're ever down, just talk to me, ok?" Taichi chirped, walked up to meet up with the rest of the group. Sora sighed, in somewhat relief and in somewhat depression.
Mostly depression.
~Poor Sora...what's bothering her? I wish she would tell me what's wrong...if we can't..be...the least I can do is be a good friend...~
Biyomon sadly watched her partner, as her eyes skimped around the area, somewhat paranoid.
She felt...sad.
But not her own sorrow...
Sora's.
And that just brought on much of her own sorrow.
Which there was too much of already.
Way too much.
"Biyomon? Are you ok?" Biyomon heard Sora ask from above her.
It's enough that she has her own problems to worry about, she doesn't need to worry about mine, too...
"Yeah, Sora. I'm fine." Biyomon answered, looking up at the taller human. "But what about you?"
~Why is Biyomon worrying about me? She should be taking care of her problems now, worrying about herself...not about me...~
"Me? I'm fine, Biyomon. Why?" Sora responded, squatting down to be more on Biyomon's level.
"You seem...sad about something, Sora. I'm worried about you." Biyomon answered, pondering how close she and Sora were. Sora conjured up a mask of happiness.
"I'm fine, Bi! Don't worry yourself about me!" Sora yipped, ruffling her feathers.
I don't like lying to you...I really, really, don't...please forgive me...
"Alright..." Biyomon said reluctantly. "Isn't time for Koushiro's watch?" Sora checked her digivice.
"Yeah, it is. Come on, let's go..." Sora informed her. "Hey, Bi?" she asked as both Digi-Destined of Love and her Digital Monster Partner walked back to camp.
"Yeah?" Biyomon said, fully attentive. Sora turned her head toward Biyomon, and gave a sincere smile.
"Thanks."
That was the only word uttered before both saw was in each other's eyes.
A glimmer.
A glimmer...
A glimmer of love...
~*~
Mine
A/N: Cynthia-san, this is my second submission for one of your contests. (I'll have you all know that my first one was a Jyori song fic for her Jyori contest.) Crazy obsessive Ken, just the way you like it! ^_^
Note: sorry...this fic gets...horribly out of tune. I have no other way to put it. *shrugs*
~*~
I own you.
Do you understand?
I found you passed out a couple of miles from here.
You were in a battle, apparently. You lost some blood.
Guess your friends didn't care enough to bring you back with them. They even took your digimon...
I'm putting my money on 'they didn't even notice he was gone'.
They left you.
I found you.
So know you belong to me.
You'll be my slave.
You'll be my personal slave, and I'll use you for anything I want.
*Anything*.
Don't worry...I'll make sure that you'll enjoy it too.
I always wanted this opportunity.
You don't have your digimon, your digivice...
It's murder, really.
But not quite, when you think about it.
In fact...
...it's exactly the opposite.
And what is the opposite of murder, exactly?
...Heh, heh, heh.
You're mine.
I own you.
I want you.
They don't.
Do you understand?
~*~
...For the first time in my life, I really think I'm terrified.
If you would have asked me two hours ago, I would have just said that Ichijouji Ken was some power-crazed lunatic.
Not mentioning the fact that he could kill me with one glance, of course.
but now...he has me at a serious disadvantage here. I'm all alone, injured, without my digimon, and chained to some big table...thing.
...Kami-sama, I have bad luck.
Oh, well...the others will probably come barging in here soon enough, and rescue me. Even though it is kind of degrading, it works. And it does beat being stuck with this psycho.
He's looking at me. Not like he's going to hurt me...but like he has something else in mind. It's kind of creepy...
Dammit, where are the others? He has this demented look in his eyes...he's plotting something, isn't he?
He's going to do something to me. He's going to humiliate me, hurt me....
The usual. But, something just feels...different this time, like he has something else in mind...something...something...
Oh, whatever. I don't have time to worry about this...I need an escape plan.
~*~
~Escape plan, escape plan, need an escape plan...I know! I'll-~
"Trying to get away, are you?" Daisuke would have fell off the...something that he was chained on too, if he could.
~Oh, god...he's like a mind reader or something...I'm screwed. Oh dear Kami-sama, I am *screwed*.~
Ken smiled his trademark grin that had the toughest digimon crying and whimpering for their Elecmon. "Afraid, Daisuke?" His grin growing, he took a step forward.
"Afraid!? Why could I be afraid of some deranged lunatic like you?!" Ken's only respond was a whip to Daisuke's cheek.
"You have to learn not to show disrespect your new master, Daisuke-kun."
"Master? MASTER?! Nuh-uh! No way!" ~I have no chance. I have NO chance in hell...I mine as well begin polishing his boots now.~
"Oh, trust me, you won't be polishing my boots." ~He's doing that mind reading thing again!~
"Don't worry, Daisuke-kun...you'll be enjoying it as much as I will. I'll make sure of it."
Daisuke blinked, as if he had just been hit in the hit in the head with a digi-rock. ~Did he just call me...?~
"Tell me, Daisuke, have you ever wanted something so bad...so bad that you think about it day in and day out, you dream about it, you cry out in your sleep for it, you fantasize about..." the boy gave a laugh, in it's own way sounding beautiful and crazed, "You obsess over it. Whenever you get a chance, you just...look at it, knowing fully you could have it, but you don't do a thing, even though you lust for it, but you wait for that perfect moment, that moment when the guard is down, and you can make your entrance and claim it for yours without a fight?" Ken's voice had died down to a deadly-and somehow psychotic- whisper.
Daisuke squirmed in his chains, desperately wishing to be anywhere but there. ~Shimatta, he's really going to kill me..well, at least he didn't do that mind reading thing again...besides, he won't kill me! The others'll be here soon! ...yeah, and so will Sailor Saturn minus the shorty shorty fuku.~
"Just stay still..." Ken brought himself on top of Daisuke, smiling down at him. "It won't hurt a bit."
Instead of bringing a fist down, Ken smirked down at the chocolate-eyed boy, who was squirming and struggling against his chains. ~This'll be fun...~ Bringing the obviously halfhearted struggles to a stop, Ken pushed his lips right on Daisuke's. Not wasting a moment, he traced his tongue along Daisuke's soon-to-be bruised lips. Smirking to himself, he wrapped his arms around his waist roughly, as if claming Daisuke as his.
After breaking off the kiss, he stared down at the other boy. "Well?"
Daisuke took in a deep breath, as if he had just awoken from being trapped in a gas chamber. "No one's...e-ever...done that..." Ken barely nodded.
"I thought so. Now...what do you say?" He blinked from his position under Ken, then gave a slight smile.
"...Master."
~*~
I know, too damn short...*sigh* Oh, well....*shrug*
~*~
Mystery
A/N: Geh...Kate-chan, here's your second gift! And no...this isn't a sequel, and I don't know if it's fluff or not yet. You'll find out soon enough. Oh, and Yama Chick-chan, I'm sorry! I promise, I'll start your fic right AFTER this one, I promise. ^_^;;;
And I was going to make this fluffy, since it was supposed to be a sequel to my other gift for Kate. But, I found this song, and does it not just seem like it was written about Daisuke? By the way....it's Building a Mystery by Sarah McLachlan. Well..some seem like Ken, and some Daisuke, and some both, but...eh. ^_^;;;;;
___________
~you come out at night
that's when the energy comes
and the dark side's light
and the vampires roam
you strut your rasta wear
and your suicide poem
and a cross from a faith
that died before Jesus came
you're building a mystery~
Hikari always asks me to talk to you.
You know, tell you about how I would like to be friends, how I want to stop this stupid feud we have...yadda yadda.
Yadda.
Oh, sure, I would love to say that. Really, I would...
But I guess it would make it hurt even more.
...It. You know..
My feelings. For you.
The ones that are so humiliating and shocking that they have to be hidden from anyone...
Namely you.
Oh, I'm pretty sure other's know.
Kind of.
Not really.
Yamato might know.
I don't think so, though...
I mean, how is he supposed to know, how is anyone supposed to know...
When I won't even let myself think about you?
you live in a church
where you sleep with voodoo dolls
and you won't give up the search
for the ghosts in the halls
you wear sandals in the snow
and a smile that won't wash away
can you look out the window
without your shadow getting in the way
oh you're so beautiful
with an edge and a charm
but so careful
when I'm in your arms
Freak, weirdo, lunatic, psycho, jerk, jackass...
That's what pretty much every kid in the 5th grade at Odiaba Elementary says about you.
But...you aren't a freak. You aren't a weirdo. You aren't a lunatic. You aren't a psycho. You aren't a jerk.
And you aren't a jackass.
You may be one to me, but...
Hey, I can live with it.
Big deal...you're a little weird.
Just a little...
Nothing's wrong with that.
I like it.
...I just wish that you didn't act so mean to me...
I really want to be your friend.
If I can't be...a...you know...the least I could be is a friend...
~'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully~
Why do you bottle up your feelings so much?
Well...some of them.
The important ones.
I mean, there has to be more than you then what we see.
There has so.
I know there is.
~you woke up screaming aloud
a prayer from your secret god
you feed off our fears
and hold back your tears~
If you ever just need to let off some steam...
I'll be here, Daisuke.
I'm always here.
But you'll never notice...
I want to help you!
I NEED to help you, Daisuke!
I mean, you must have so many emotions inside you...
Let me help.
Please...
Ha. Fat chance of you doing that...
give us a tantrum
and a know it all grin
just when we need one
when the evening's thin
Oh, sure, you do let some emotions out at me...
You scream at me, kick, punch...
It's not fair.
I love you...
I love you!
Why...why can't you love me back?
I haven't been through enough in my life...is that it?
Do I have to go through some major pain in my life to get what I want?
Knowing life, and knowing you...if I ever go through that, I probably still won't have you.
Still...I like it when you get mad at me.
It helps that you at least feel something toward me...
oh you're a beautiful
a beautiful fucked up man
you're setting up your
razor wire shrine
You're...you're...
No offense...
But you're really fucked up, Daisuke.
And that just makes you all the more attractive to me...
I want to be able to...to...
To hold you, you know?
...No, you don't.
'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully
~'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully`
You're...you're just a mystery to me, Motomiya Daisuke.
But, I promise...
One day...
I'll have you solved.
~*~
Privacy
A/N: Kate, this is for you! Congrats for writing 50 fics, and I'm pretty sure you requested a Daikeru...since you did say that you love Daisuke and TK together.
Okay, let me just apoligize for this-I'll admit myself-the beginning is pretty good. But I got really stuck at the end, so...
Okay-the ending is amazingly half-assed. But hopefully, the sequels will make up for it. -_-
____________
~Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can't you see
You're the only one who can shine for me~
Daisuke's eyes bore into the milkshake that sat before him.
No.
It wasn't possible.
He didn't.
He liked Hikari.
He liked Hikari.
Her.
Not...not him.
Not...Takeru.
He blinked.
Geez, he was doing a really bad job of convincing himself that he was heterosexual.
It wasn't like he wanted to be gay...he just was.
And if he could change it, he would.
But whoever was up there hated him, so he couldn't.
...
It just wasn't fair!
Could nothing in life go his way?
It sounded selfish...but it was true!
Everything that ever happened to him happened the exact opposite of the way he wanted it to happen.
It sounded stupid...but it was true.
"Is it too selfish to want everything in life to go my way?" he thought outload, oblivious to stares.
"Well, Daisuke, that's really the definition of selfish."
"Huh?"
His gaze turned upward.
It was Takeru.
Takeru.
Takeru...
"Where's everyone else? Weren't we supposed to be meeting here?" Daisuke shrugged.
I like it better when it's just you and me, Takeru...
Daisuke kicked himself under the table.
No! He couldn't think like that! It was wrong!
Wrong, wrong...
WRONG!
"...Daisuke? Are you all right?"
~It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me~
Something in Daisuke's heart twitched slightly.
...Takeru cared.
That made him feel good.
For all the wrong reasons...
"Daisuke? What's wrong?" Those big blue orbs seem to dig into his soul, reading what he did deep inside his heart, what he would carry to the grave...
Daisuke shook his head slightly, as if trying to rid the thoughts about Takeru from his mind.
Kami-sama, he was a freak.
~When your soul is tired
and your heart is weak
Do you think of love
as a one way street
Well it runs both ways,
open up your eyes
Can't you see me here,
how can you deny~
"Daisuke?" Takeru inquired, almost afraid for the other boy.
"Yeah, I'm fine! Geez, mind your own business!" Daisuke kicked himself for the second time.
He was such a jerk.
Takeru fell in silence. Why was Daisuke so...mean to him? It wasn't like he ever did anything to him...
Hikari was the one that constantly hugged him, flirted with him...
It's not like he wanted her to do that!
It did feel nice though.
I mean, to him...
Hikari...
She was like...
Like...
A big sister.
Hikari was always a big sister to him.
Never a girlfriend.
...He just never looked at her that way.
Never could. Looking at Hikari that way...
Was like trying to look at Yamato that way.
Just way too weird.
And really, really, really disgusting.
"You look a little sick..." Takeru stretched a hand out to Daisuke, but he shoved it away.
He doesn't want you touching him.
"You should go home...if you're sick."
"I'm not sick."
"...You seem kind of weird, Daisuke."
"I'm not! Look, I'm not in the mood for this, all right?!" Takeru stared at the other boy, almost in shock.
"All right..."
~It's a private emotion that fills you tonight...~
Daisuke sighed and shook his head.
"Just forget it." Takeru nodded, and looked away.
~Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here
till your tears run dry
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight...~
Takeru looked at Daisuke. What was wrong with him?
"You know, Daisuke..."
Daisuke snapped his gaze up.
"Wha-at?" Takeru flinched slightly at the tone of his voice.
"If there's anything you need to tell me..." Daisuke looked Takeru in the eyes, his voice shaking.
"Any...anything?"
This is your chance, Daisuke...
"Yeah..." Takeru smiled at him. "Anything at all."
Daisuke suddenly found something very interesting to look at on the counter.
"Well...."
"Yeah?"
"See, the thing is..."
"What?"
"I..."
"Yes?"
"I gotta go!" And with that, Motomiya Daisuke ran out of there, away from Takaishi Takeru, away from his love...
___________
Yes, yes, I know. Half assed. Don't even say anything. I promise, the sequels will be better!
~*~
Push
A/N: My first Taishiro in a while...did I do any after my series? Ah, I forget. And yes, I'm aware that the lyrics say SHE, but since this is such a good song (By Matchbox 20, by the way), I don't want to change them.
________
~She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well~
"I don't know. It just feels like...we aren't good enough to beat the Dark Masters."
How could he say that?
"Well, I know that...I'm not, anyway."
How could he say that about himself?
As stupid as it may sound, Taichi was deeply offended by Koushiro words.
Was he not good enough?
How could Koushiro think that about himself?
Especially since Taichi thought so much of Koushiro...
~This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good~
"We can do it." Koushiro nodded.
"I don't mean to be negative about it...but the Dark Masters are tougher than any other ememy we've been up against. It just might be a little tough to beat them, that's all..."
Taichi blinked, slightly worried. Didn't Koushiro believe in him? Didn't he believe in himself?
"Come on, Koushiro...you can't give up on me now!" Taichi ruffled his hair. Koushiro smiled slightly.
"I'm not...it's just..."
~I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will~
How could he think that!?
About him!?
About himself!?
Especially...since Taichi thought so much about him...
"Koushiro, we can, and will beat the Dark Masters! And I'll be dammed if I'm letting you leave just because you're being a wuss!"
~Well I will~
~She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
'cuz It's a little bit dirty well~
Taichi resisted the urge to bash his head against a tree.
Why did he have to let his temper flare up?
Did he have to treat the people that he felt about...that way like garbage?
But, that was Yagami Taichi.
A jerk.
~Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged you,
And you don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all~
"Koushiro, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday-" Koushiro shook his head.
"You don't have to, Taichi."
Why did he have to be so...nice?
"So your temper flared up a little. It's not a big deal."
Why did he have to be so understanding?
Why did he have to be so...Koushiro?
"Look, it's my fault, Koushiro."
"No...don't blame yourself-"
~I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will~
Next thing that Taichi was aware of, he grabbed Koushiro.
"Look, if I want to apoligize and blame myself, I'll apologize and blame myself!"
~Oh but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this Baby, baby~
Was Koushiro afraid of him or something?
Taichi couldn't blame him.
He was such a jerk to him...
Why did he have to loose all control around him?
Not fair...he didn't have to be such an asshole to Koushiro just becuase
beating the Dark Masters was a little tough...
Or he couldn't find Hikari, or he had to help Hikari...
Or because Koushiro would never love him back...
"Kou...Koushiro? Can...can we talk?"
~I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna take you, take you, yeah, well I will, I will, I will, I will
I will, I will, I will, Yeah, yeah, push you around,
I'll drag you down, I wanna push you around
Well I will~
"Shiro-kun...I'm so sorry I ever did that to you..."
"It's okay, Taichi..."
A kiss.
"Heheheh...you look so cute when you blush, you know that?"
"...You do too."
"Yeah...but you're just so cute..."
"...Thank you...you know, someone would catch us."
"Do you care?"
"...Not really."
"Then what's the point of worrying about it? Don't act like Jyou..."
"No point..just thinking.."
Another kiss.
"Then don't think."
"...Okay."
________
Mmmm....I think I could have done better on this one...oh, well. I'll do better on that joint fic I'm doing with Cybra, then...
~*~
Reflection
A/N: Well, What can I say? This song is just perfect for Kou-chan. And, to all you Koushiro-haters, who think this song would be more appropriate for Yamato or Mimi: Nyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaa. Oh, and I didn't say who he was dreaming about, but it's obvious who it isn't. Oh, and I might a sequel to this, but only if I feel like it. And, I'm not sure who to put him with, so suggestions are more than welcome.
Later Author's Note: Now that I think about it, this song does not seem fitting for Koushiro at all. Do not be surprised to see this song used in a later fic of mine.
~Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart~
His 'friends'.
They *thought* they knew him.
The key word there: Thought.
In reality, they didn't know a thing about him.
They just thought that he was some geek who only cared about his computer.
Some genius.
Some heartless, uncaring, genius.
He knew that they all thought that the only thing that he was good for was solving problems.
All of them.
Even that one person who's understanding and love for him would mean more than anything in the universe...
~Who is that person I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside~
Mirrors.
He hated them.
Why?
They didn't lie.
The thing about Izumi Koushiro was that he could lie.
He did that often.
He wore a mask of lies, not once taking it off to take a break.
He couldn't.
No one would understand.
They could say that it was all right, everything would be ok, that they understand, but it was all lies.
Lies, lies, lies.
Lying was the only thing he could do right...
The only goddamn thing.
~I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am~
That was a dream of his.
That one day, he would take off his mask of lies...
And people would see him for what he truly was...
And they would love him for it...
And that person...
That one, special person...
Would love him more than anyone ever would.
But...
They were just dreams.
Childish, foolish dreams...
Dreams got you nowhere in life, as cruel as it sounded.
Just little worlds that you would toy with, perfect situations that you wished for..that would never happen.
~Who is that person I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside~
He never knew himself.
He never knew who he truly was.
Sometimes, it could be the biggest relief in the world, not knowing who you truly are. Don't ask why...he couldn't have given you an answer that you would have understood.
That any of them would have understood...
Then, it could be the biggest pain in the world.
Not knowing who you really are...
One day, he would reveal his true self to himself...and everyone else...
Would they care?
Would they love him for it?
He didn't know.
Would they hate him for it?
Probably.
!\~There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why~
He wanted to know why.
Why did he have to hide?
Wouldn't just be easier to just show his true self?
It would make him happier...
But no.
It just wasn't possible.
~Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside~
Could he?
Could he, one day, tell that person how he felt?
Show everyone who he really was?
Just because he said he would doesn't mean that he will...
Would he?
He wanted to.
But, you don't always get what you want...
When would he truly be who he was?
What is a long way from here?
Or was it a day away?
Did it matter?
Did he care?
Did anyone else?
~*~