It's Only Forever.....
Chapter 4- To Live Another's Life
by: Asurahime
-We won't know until we go there.-
"Asellus, are you awake?"
In her room at the inn in the town of Shrike, the half-mystic couldn't help but brood. She had been right; Kurenai had recently gone through Kyo, burning down the Syoin and part of the Garden because of his uncontrolled power. Only now did Asellus realize why her father had sealed the fiery being. Kurenai may be destructive, but when his powers are being focused, he can be a source of life and protection in a desolate region: Facinaturu.
Asellus had stopped pacing long ago, and was now sitting on the bed near the window; trying to lose herself in the view of the stars and far regions.
The moment was over when another knock emanated from her door.
"Asellus, are you there?"
The girl opened the door and discovered that it had been Rouge who was knocking. Ushering the magician in, but keeping the door open, Asellus began to wonder what he wanted from her so late in the night.
"What's wrong Rouge? I'd be thinking the three of you are supposed to be asleep by now." remarked Asellus, returning to her seat and telling Rouge to sit on one of the chairs.
Rouge's cheeks surprisingly flared crimson. "I'm sorry to bother you so late in the night Asellus, but I remembered that you still didn't tell me why you recruited me once again. Last time you came, it was just to visit your friend, but already I saw that something was troubling you."
Asellus fixed the long-haired magician an blank look. "I thought that you saw all the information you needed at Kyo, Rouge."
Rouge's blush faded and he nodded. Talk about short and to the point. "Yes, I understand that Kurenai is freed from captivity, but I know that that is not enough to make someone like you this worried. I know you Asellus. We have fought side-by-side for so long that only a blind or extremely dense person can't see that you are not the type of person who gets easily worried. I also know this because you are my friend Asellus, deny it or not, but you are. Save the fights with Orlouge and Golden Lion, you were never this down."
The girl shook her head sadly. Rouge had no idea how close he came to discovering why she so distressed. Seeing the magician's eyes fixed on her, she knew that he won't let her be until she fully explains. "It's not as simple as you are putting is Rouge."
"Then how is it?? Your constant reticence and the fact that you are trying to keep all your fears inside are hurting Ildon, Zozma, me, and all your friends." The mage was just short of taking the half-mystic by the shoulders and shaking the truth out of her. But he knew that force won't get him anywhere and would make the situation even worse than it already is. He clamped his teeth together and tried to stay composed; knowing the state that he is in, it will be a greater task that he imagines.
"Ciato has been reincarnated, and he's more powerful than before..." Asellus bit her lip, forcing herself to go on, but the words were harder to say than she deemed they'd be.
"That can't be all of it. You were not afraid of Ciato before. What's the difference of it now?" Rouge folded his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer. Asellus was holding something back, and he knew it. He also knew that he shouldn't be interrogating her so much, but he didn't quite have a choice. Despite the girl's habit of being independent, she has yet to learn that there are times when she needs to have others' help with her problems. Rouge thought that she already knew that during the incident with Orlouge, but Asellus seemed to become more distant during the aftermath of the battle.
The half-mystic's crimson eyes grew fierce at the memory which Rouge invoked. All of a sudden, her restraint broke and she found herself telling all that she told the others, and something else which she didn't. "He grew stronger by absorbing Lion's mystic power. Therefore, if I kill Ciato, I'll also be killing Golden Lion a second time."
That fact surprised him. " Oh," Rouge looked away. "Is there any way that she can be saved?"
"Yes."
The magician almost jumped, startled. That wasn't the answer that he had been expecting. "If there is a way to save her power, them what is wrong wi----"
Asellus cut him off before he could go any further. "To save her power, I have to make another human a mystic. Her power has to be infused with a human's blood for it to stay intact, dammit Rouge!! Don't you understand?!" The girl's breathing was ragged and slow, she was vainly trying to keep herself from becoming enraged. "Damn... I'm not like my father. I don't want to take another human life and bind it to me by blood. I told Mesarthim 'I don't want to rule anyone, just as I don't want myself to be ruled'. I'd be breaking a vow that I made not too long ago."
"Could it be possible that a human is willing to be a mystic for these purposes?" asked Rouge as he eyed the young mystic.
"What are the chances of that happening?" replied Asellus bitterly. "It's bad enough that I was the last mystic created, but I'm not even complete. Others call me 'princess', but is that what I really am?"
".........."
Asellus focused her gaze on Rouge's face for any betrayal of feeling. The magician's face was impossible to read, not by unfeeling, but a mixture of emotions which were difficult to interpret. Finding no crack on his facade, the half-mystic sighed deeply. "I thought so."
"I don't know what to say to you, except that... you're not alone, at least you never will be again. There are people who do care about you." Rouge tousled Asellus' hair gently.
"Like who?" asked the half-mystic as the mage started to depart.
Rouge's smile had carefully guarded mischief in it. Only when he reached the door did he reply. "Well, I'm probably second. Because there is someone who worries about you deeply enough that he'd protect you with his life, as he has done many times in the past."
"Who?" Asellus was aghast when Rouge said that he was second.
The magician looked back at her, a gentle smile on his face and a sympathetic glint in his eyes. _How dense can you really be Asellus?? You're telling me that you have never noted how much he protects you?!_ "Ildon does." Rouge whispered this so silently that Asellus couldn't quite make any sense of it.
"What?" asked the girl, not understanding what the mage was muttering about.
"Goodnight, Asellus." Rouge closed the door, not answering her query and leaving the girl in the dark to wonder about why he was being so evasive. Just the way he planned it for now. He smiled at the girl's too cute ignorance, who ever knew that the Princess of Mystics can be so oblivious. Two men came out from behind the shadows and approached the magic-user; one had spiky orange hair and the other had green hair and wings blacker than a starless night.
"How was she?", asked one of the figures, dark blue eyes distressed.
Rouge sighed, remembering his conversation with the half-mystic. "She's not at all like her father. She knows empathy and loneliness; most of all, she doesn't want to control anyone just as she herself does not want to be ruled."
The other man spoke. "If we know that, them we know that at least Asellus' demeanor hasn't changed. If only we knew her motivation..."
Ildon added. "She just does not want anyone else to go through what she has. She is straining herself to save a friend's power without any blameless lives being taken. I admire that sort of courage, especially because that is something I lack."
"She's spirited and reliable, but overall, she is too damn innocent... I didn't know mortals could have so much of either, but this girl has more than enough. Ildon and I are just an example of the mystics who were changed because of her. Her blood is the only thing about her that is tainted. Asellus has changed for the better, I believe. She is pert, reckless, and assertive at times, but she is adamant to a promise she makes. This isn't something we aren't used to." Zozma glanced at his two companions then at the door of the girl. "I was even expecting her to give in to her mystic self, but she controlled it. Now, if only she'd stop blasting me with her power into a wall just like Ildon does."
The red mage leaned against the door to his room. His prior conversation has led him to determine that Asellus didn't wholly change for the better. "She did forfeit a part of her humanity when she became a half-mystic... an significant portion of her that she will undeniably miss."
The orange-haired rebel and the black-winged prince focused their attention at the magician. "And what is that?" asked Zozma.
Rouge refused to look at them. "She has forgotten what love is."
That was not the answer that the other two mystics were expecting. Ildon averted his eyes and walked to one of the windows of the inn, looking out at the night sky. _Asellus... you..._ "She's not so different from us after all."
Zozma nodded. "Mystics rarely 'love'. Most of the time, it is 'lust' that drives in our hearts. Orlouge was a terrific example of that; one hundred princesses and most aren't even allowed to walk freely, once he is tired of them, he just imprisons them. But there is one thing about him that irks me the most--- he never lets go of anything he owns."
"But Asellus doesn't feel lust. Zozma is right, most, almost all mystics feel that emotion. Very rarely is there a mystic who doesn't, I for one." replied Ildon. "Who knew that half-mystics couldn't feel either."
Rouge looked at Ildon, his expression bewildered but intent. "Someone has to teach her that she can't deprive herself of what she deserves. Asellus needs someone to teach her how to love again."
"Why is that?" asked Zozma.
"So that she'll understand that her life is worth living. I once heard Asura screaming to Asellus that the reason that she is taking this journey is because she feels guilt and to seek a rapid death. I want her to comprehend the fact that she has a reason for fighting, and it's not because she must."
Zozma's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Who will? Will you, Rouge?"
Ildon visibly tensed. He knew that Rouge felt something for the half-mystic, but he didn't think it might go this far. He himself didn't know how he felt. There just seems to be this strange feeling that makes him react whenever she was in jeopardy. This isn't a new experience to him, and it all began when he joined her group to go against the Charm Lord. It was almost as if his world started to revolve around the fact that he has to protect her--- but he tries to convince himself that it is because Rastaban told him to. Although right after they returned to Facinaturu, he was already free of the pact, but he continued to fight by her side. But he had and still didn't have any idea why...
"No, it can't be me. See, I do love Asellus greatly. Beyond friendly terms even, but..." Rouge's voice dropped to a whisper and was directed towards Zozma alone. ".... Ildon loves her with all his heart. It's true that mystics rarely feel love, but if I am mistaken of what I see on his face-- despite how hard he tries to hide it-- I don't know what is. They belong together, they just haven't come to terms with this feeling yet."
The orange-haired mystic looked at Ildon at the windowsill, then back at Rouge. "Fine, I believe you. He didn't even hear a word of what you said."
"Did you say something?" asked Ildon, his face completely blank.
"No, just that we should go to sleep or else Asellus will be doing all the wok while we sleep on our feet." said Rouge as the other two nodded in agreement. Then, all of them retired.
As soon as the hallway was empty, a silver fire outlined a black figure in the shadows. Walking towards the half-mystic's door, the being smiled triumphantly.
"Do the three of you actually think that you would be able to keep what I want from me? You can't always protect her... that task is reserved for me, and only me. When your guard is down is when Asellus will be mine. Not even a mystic's impossible love for a half-mystic will be able to battle the rage of desire which consumes me."
The figure evanesced into the night, unknowing that someone else had been watching closely. Someone who heard every word that was spoken from beginning to end.
Chapter Notes:
So sorry that this chapter was so short everyone... especially Akira. But I've started on the next chapters already, so please be patient.
Disclaimers:
SaGa Frontier does not belong to me... it never has it never will.... it belongs to SquareSoft, and I am just another fan writing whatever comes to my mind first...