~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
Last episode our hero Sailor Garv *insert dramatic da-da music* was found by the infamous Lina Inverse! He barely managed to escape the wrath of a jealous Valgrav, and a fireball from Lina!Oh no! He didnt land the waitress either! But wait! Who is that new ally? Friend or foe? Is this the legendary (BISHONEN) Prince of Ice? Tune in to see!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All eyes fasten on the ice-blue rose glittering brightly in the half-light of the barroom, the last of the fireball hissing as it goes out around it. Then the eyes trail upwards, to the shadowy figure in the tall stained-glass window.
**********************
Lina*fumes* Since WHEN did bars get tall stained-glass windows? This entrance will be better than MINE wont it??
Rayven They do now! And YES his will be!
Rezo *mutter* When does the insanity end...
Phibby WHEN DOES MY PART GET BIGGER!
Rayven MUAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
**************************************************
The figure is tall and of a striking posture (*author puts her drool bucket under chin*)with a long black cape lined in ice blue silk flaring in that damn wind. On top of his blue-black hair rests a tall top hat, and a white mask covers deep percingly blue eyes- (*Rayven slaps herself to reality and out of Harlequin-land*) A small, wicked smile plays across his lips.
"A rose is a deadly object when wielded by one of power-" He pulls out another rose and looks at it, pondering the petals-"...one of power such as I." He turns his ice blue eyes on Garv and smiles again. "You looked like you needed my help Sailor Garv."
Garv blinks at the man, slightly envious of the way BOTH Valgrav and the waitress were eyeing the figure. Glancing across the room, he even sees the Dragon-Spooker drooling like mad, eyes gone to huge hearts. Hell, even Chibi-Hellmaster was scribbling on his notepad like mad! Powerposing, showing off more leghair than pretty-boy will ever have,Garv booms: "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
The figure smirks cooly.*violin music and dramatic piano aboung, with the sound of coucarachas* " I am Tuxedo Dynast, Master of all that is evil, the Prince of-
**********************
Rayven&Lina*hearts for eyes, chanting* BISHONEN!!!!PRINCE OF BISHONEN!!!!!!
Rezo GAH! That WORD!
Dynast *appears and takes Rezo's staff* May I?
Rezo *smirking* Certainly.
Dynast *brains the Bird&Lina with it* I think I could use this on that Xelloss character as well.
Rezo By all means, go ahead!
Rayven&Lina @_@
Phibby *takes notes*
*******************
...Ice."
Everyone gasps! This is the legendary Prince! Oh my!~*more dramatic music!*~ Tuxedo Dynast leaps down from the window, cape flaring out dramatically...ice blue silk flashing in the light..., and lands on his feet, smoothly like a cat. Our hero, meanwhile, had sucumbed to the newcomers bishoneness!
Everyone in unison, the fight forgotten: "WE LOVE YOU TUXEDO DYNAST!!!"
Dynast face-faults gracefully, hair blowing in the breeze. "NANI? Sailor Garv, Chibi Hellmaster, you are supposed to be fighting Lina, remember?" He sighs dramaticaly and puts a gloved hand to his temple to massage it."This is getting old...Everywhere I go masses swoon over me! Itai my head hurts..."
Promptly a two familiar figures appear and beat back the crowd rushing to help Tuxedo Dynast!
"DYYYNAAASST BREAAATH!!!"
"FIIIIIIREBAAAAAALL!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BUY TUXEDO DYNAST AUTOGRAPHED CELLS!
Signed by the ~REAL~ Tuxedo Dynast, Guaranteed or your money back! (At least .10 of it...:) )
SEE YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO"S AUTOGRAPH!
BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUIMTIREDOFTYPINGALLTHEBUYSYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY NOW WHILE SUPLIES LAST!!!!!
Opps sorry folks they all were sold out already! Bought by Ssj Xelloss Metallium and Rayvenwing k'Sheyna! (*who are smirking, using Garv's credit card to buy them, and count cells gleefully*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is this? The Trickster Priest and a Bird! Is this Rayven and Xelloss?! It is! Promptly they glomp onto Tuxedo Dynast's arms and pull out their BishonenBalls (think of Pokeballs, bishonen-style), glaring at the crowd! "MINE!" they yell!
Tuxedo Dynast glares."You two are supposed to be writing this!" The rest of the cast nods, ready to pounce on Dynast after the esteemed and brilliant authors leave. Xell and Ray procede to glomp harder and start to drag Tuxedo Dynast away!
Will Sailor Garv be deprived of his new ally? Will Chibi ever get enough notes? Will Lina stop drooling enough to get her butt in gear? WILL THE AUTHORS RUN OFF WITH TUXEDO DYNAST? ( I guarantee they will!) Find out our next exciting episode! *giggle* Sailor Garv says!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
When we last left off,the crazy--...ahem,the brillant authors were dragging away Tuxedo Dynast, laughing maniacly. What will happen? Find out in today's exciting episode of Sailor Garv!)
*******************THEME*************************
(Fibby,Xel and Rayven grab some mics,while Garv gets a guitar,doing a rock version of the theme)
~~Fighting good by midnight,
Chugging beer by daylight,
Always panty-flashing during a fight,
He is the one named Sailor Garv!~~
(rest of theme gets cut off by a huge fireball. "Itaiii!")
**************************************************
Tuxedo Dynast glared at the two authors glomped onto his arms. "Let go." They eeped and slowly, very reluctently,let go and pouted. Dynast straightened out his tux and cape. Sailor Chibi Hellmaster came up to them and tugged on Xel's pant leg. "Eek!What are you doing?!" Xel blushes and holds on to pants so they won't fall. Chibi Hellmaster used the kawaii look on Xel. "Ano...."
While a staring contest went on,Rayven started inching back towards Dynast,who was trying not to sweatdrop. "Ack! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! KAWAIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xel broke down and glomped Chibi Hellmaster,who snickered. "Yup,it worked!" He gave the victory sign...."Wha? Nani?!!!!" Xel slung him over her shoulder and signaled to Rayven,who pounced on Dynast. Then they ran off laughing into the beautiful sunset.
Back near the ruins of the bar,SG and co were still standing there in shock. Sailor Garv blinked,"What just happened here?" Valgarv didn't answer,since he was busy trying to look more bishonen like Dynast,so Garv directed the inquirey to Lina. "Grrrrr,those two just ran off with Tuxedo Dynast!!!" SG looked shocked. "We need to save him! L-Sama knows what they'll do to my beloved prince!" Lina arched an eyebrow,"What about the Hellmaster?" Garv replied intelligently, "Who?" Lina snorted,then looked off towards the sunset,looking very dramatic. "Well,I'm going to save him,are you coming?" Everyone gasped. "What, my hero Sailor Garv joining up with the Drammata? the Dragonspooker? the Enemy of All Who Lives?!" Valgarv shouted while SG looked thoughtfull....
~~slow,melodramatic music~~
--Meanwhile,back at the secret club,Conquest Bishonen....~~
"Wahahahahhahahhaaaa!" Xel and Ray said while doing the happy dance and partying. In the backround,Dynast and Fibby were being brainwashed with bishonen energy collected by bishonenballs.
(Will our hero make a truce with his enemy to save Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster? Just what the hell are the authors planning? Do they even know themselves?(probably not) Stay tuned to find out! Sailor Garv says! *giggles*)
*************************************************
Today's episode was greatly influenced by "Buhsuka" a crazy,very kawaii song by Megumi Hayashibara,advailable at Phoenixfeather's mp3 Horde weekly section ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last exciting episode, our hero Sailor Garv had two allies stolen by the incredibly (kawailly) evil authors, Xell and Rayven! Poor Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster! (Garv*as briliantly as usual* Who was that last one? Xel&Ray *brain him with Staff™ and Mallet© respectively*)Will Sailor Garv join with the Enemy of All Who Live? (Lina I'll get you two for that.) Will Valgrav's bishonen powers emerge? Tune in to find it out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**************THEME*****************
*the ENTIRE Slayers cast (Yes, even you Zelgadiss! MUAHAHA! The power of Authorhood!)and a mysterious little dragon that pops out of nowhere all join in and sing*
Fiiiiiiiiiiiighting goood by mooonliiiight
Chuuuugging beeeer by daaayliiiight!
Alwaaaaays panty-flaaaashing in a real fight, He is the one named Sailor Garv!
*Garv appears at the end, a pink gauze curtain falling from him as he twirls and powerposes, leg hair flashing in the spotlight,stage center* Garv YEAH! *winks* hee hee!
*********END THEME**************
~In the Fortress/Tribal Village of Conquest Bishonen the evil Queen LoN-sama is reclining in her chair, hands caressing a ball in the shape of the world, her Supremely Kawaily Eeeeeeeevili Generals Xell and Rayven bowing before her, a small little dragon peeking out from various folds in her dress.
Xell steps forward, "Oh mighty Queen of Nightmares we have brought you an offering! The Bishonen Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster! Isnt that right Rayven!" Xel gives Ray, who is reading Fushigi Yugi manga, a sharp nudge. Ray eyes Xel resentfully" But I thought the plan was WE were going to-" Xel slaps a hand over Ray's mouth, sweatdropping massively.
"Um...scratch what she just said, poor BIRD had been having too much chocolate, ne?"
The Queen looks unimpressed and turns her gaze to where the two halpless bishonen are being brainwashed, and danced around by the members of Conquest Bishonen. hmm...She thinks. That chibi Lina shows promise...Her gaze turns to the other conquests, Zechs (YES he HAD to come first) , Zelgadiss, Marron, Rezo,Kapii Rezo, the entire lot of bishonen from Fushigi Yugi. There was somehting missing..
"AIIIE!WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! GET IT OUT OF MY *!@&!@&*% DRESS!" Queen L-sama shrieked, and jiggled her dress around,Hellmaster perking up at the Hell, her never-faithful generals (Who I assure you plot to take all the bishonen for themselves! MUAHAHAHA!) trying to not help her. A small lil dragon drops out of her bustline, giggling.
"Me Hasakuro! Me wanna play!" He spies Chibi Hellmaster's pink fuku and with a small roar pounces it, shredding.Chibi squeals and bites the lil thing. Everything grinds to a halt, and all say in unison- "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS THAT!"
"Oh ho ho ho! A Distraction put here by ME! Sailor Garv!" A strong voice trumpets!
*************************************************
(And now a word from our sponsers)
~~~~RETRO-MERCIAL!~~~~
*Sailor Garv appears in a flashy polyester stretch bellbottoms, platform shoes, and a 'fro*
Buy my line of Hair Gel! Guaranteed to work!
*a pic of former hairdo appears, folowed by a 'fro-ified one* *he winks and twirls, powerposing, disco lights flashing* Guaranteed to work on leg hair too!(*insert author spazing, twitching on the floor, a flashback of Marge Simpson forming in mind*)
*winking,he pulls up the leg of the bellbottoms, displaying spiky leghair* All the rage! Sailor Garv Says!
**************************************************
All of Club Bishonen: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANI!!! WHAT THE F*CK!!!
Tuxedo Dynast's ice-blue eyes simply gaze up from where he was lecturing the authors and, a anime-crying pink-fuku-less Chibi Hellmaster with a kawaii purring Hasakuro in lap, on the proper way to write a story. The Conquested Bishonen sat there and looked big and dumb, though still bishonenish. (*Ray looks around to see if Gourry had taken over her keyboard*)
Queen LoN-sama cries "DAMN YOU SAILOR GARV! WHAT the! THE ENEMY OF ALL WHO LIVE TOO!!! NOOOO! SUCH AN ALLIANCE IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!"
**************************
LinaDIIIIIIIIIIE RAYVEN DIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!
Rayven *poses in her new SM-SG! General outfit* WAHAAHHAHAHAAAAAAA! I AM EVIL!
**************************
A figure is suddenly spotlighted, a tall, buff man with looong red hair tied at the end with a maroon bow. He twirls delicately upon one booted foot, and comes around in the traditional Sailor Moon pose, blue fuku and loose white uniform shirt ( They simply could NOT put a tight bodysuit on Garv for censor reasons!)flaring in that damn anime breeze." I am Sailor Garv, and in the name of the Mazoku I WILL punish you! You simply cant go around kidnapping bishonen, unless its might be me!"
Garv is suddenly butt-bumped out of the way, Lina taking over the spotlight!Her red-hair and shoulder armor flashing, cape flaring she cries " I am Lina Inverse, Sorceress Supreme! I am a force of good to be reckoned with! Darkness beyond twi- OOH IS THAT ZECHS!!!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Squealing she bolts over to the brainwashed Zechs, drooling over his bishonenss. Garv eyes her, glaring.
" Wernt you SUPPOSED to be on MY side?" Still fuming from the spotlight-stealing he gets up, not seeing the Chibi Lina who had been fried by a chance Panty-Flash-Of-Doom™, gone all swirly-eyed. (alt+0159 on numberpad! MUAHAH! Ray is QUEEN!)
No answer from Lina but a giggle as she throws Zechs over one shoulder and makes off with her Conquest. General Rayven snaps back to life and runs after, shrieking "HE'S MINE MINE MINE MINE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE I TELL YOU!!!!!! MIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!" Xel eyes Garv unfriendly-like, stepping in front of HER Conquest, Tuxedo Dynast! They lock eyes, a battle of wills forming!
"Tuxedo Dynast is MY property, Garv." Xell smiles that 'Sore wa imitsu desu' smile. Garv fumes and his hand twitches, summoning his wand.
In the distance a chibi Queen LoN-sama is seen, waving her arms and legs frantically in an attempt to get her spotlight as THE Head of the bad people back. Haskuro gnaws on Chibi Hellmaster's pink wand, while Phibby is frantically working at the ropes that bind him, praying that the blasted thing wont eat the REST of him too! Dynast's eyebrow is twitching in supreme annoyance about being treated like a side of beef, while Lina and Rayven play tug-of-war with Zechs. Sparks begin to fly between Xel and Garv, and Xel actually opens both eyes, while Garv turns rear-ward prepared to panty-flash!
Suddenly a ice-green rose flashes between the two, and the room stills in shock. All eyes go to Tuxedo Dynast, who is equally shocked, and shrugs!
Then a strong voice is heard, and a spotlight flashes to another stained-glass window, where a shadowy figure is seen.
"Plagarists these days, OY!" Dynast mutters, making a mental note to blow up this upstart, a direct threat to his bishoness!
Garv face-faults, recognizing the pale spiky green hair and horn, frying the stupified Xelly with a Panty-Flash. Getting up he shouts-
"VALGRAV!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!? Is this new potential bishonen catch actually VALGRAV! Will Xell and Garv square it off anyway? Will Queen L-sama actually become the Evil Last Person to Fight? Will Rayven and Lina settle who gets Zechs? Will Tuxedo Dynast prove true to form? Find out next exciting episode, Sailor Garv says! *giggle*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And Rayven/Lina sighs dramatically....@_@ Sorry for all that hee hee itsh three inthe morning and I'm CAFFENE-HAPPY! WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAA NO DAAAAA! DAAAAAAA NO DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! DAAAAAA DAAAAAAA! That music provided once again by our dear Phoe-chan at her mp3 Horde! ^_^() Chichiri's image song, Ochanoko Saisai Hengen Jizai!
Last episode our hero Sailor Garv *insert dramatic da-da music* was found by the infamous Lina Inverse! He barely managed to escape the wrath of a jealous Valgrav, and a fireball from Lina!Oh no! He didnt land the waitress either! But wait! Who is that new ally? Friend or foe? Is this the legendary (BISHONEN) Prince of Ice? Tune in to see!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All eyes fasten on the ice-blue rose glittering brightly in the half-light of the barroom, the last of the fireball hissing as it goes out around it. Then the eyes trail upwards, to the shadowy figure in the tall stained-glass window.
**********************
Lina*fumes* Since WHEN did bars get tall stained-glass windows? This entrance will be better than MINE wont it??
Rayven They do now! And YES his will be!
Rezo *mutter* When does the insanity end...
Phibby WHEN DOES MY PART GET BIGGER!
Rayven MUAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
**************************************************
The figure is tall and of a striking posture (*author puts her drool bucket under chin*)with a long black cape lined in ice blue silk flaring in that damn wind. On top of his blue-black hair rests a tall top hat, and a white mask covers deep percingly blue eyes- (*Rayven slaps herself to reality and out of Harlequin-land*) A small, wicked smile plays across his lips.
"A rose is a deadly object when wielded by one of power-" He pulls out another rose and looks at it, pondering the petals-"...one of power such as I." He turns his ice blue eyes on Garv and smiles again. "You looked like you needed my help Sailor Garv."
Garv blinks at the man, slightly envious of the way BOTH Valgrav and the waitress were eyeing the figure. Glancing across the room, he even sees the Dragon-Spooker drooling like mad, eyes gone to huge hearts. Hell, even Chibi-Hellmaster was scribbling on his notepad like mad! Powerposing, showing off more leghair than pretty-boy will ever have,Garv booms: "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
The figure smirks cooly.*violin music and dramatic piano aboung, with the sound of coucarachas* " I am Tuxedo Dynast, Master of all that is evil, the Prince of-
**********************
Rayven&Lina*hearts for eyes, chanting* BISHONEN!!!!PRINCE OF BISHONEN!!!!!!
Rezo GAH! That WORD!
Dynast *appears and takes Rezo's staff* May I?
Rezo *smirking* Certainly.
Dynast *brains the Bird&Lina with it* I think I could use this on that Xelloss character as well.
Rezo By all means, go ahead!
Rayven&Lina @_@
Phibby *takes notes*
*******************
...Ice."
Everyone gasps! This is the legendary Prince! Oh my!~*more dramatic music!*~ Tuxedo Dynast leaps down from the window, cape flaring out dramatically...ice blue silk flashing in the light..., and lands on his feet, smoothly like a cat. Our hero, meanwhile, had sucumbed to the newcomers bishoneness!
Everyone in unison, the fight forgotten: "WE LOVE YOU TUXEDO DYNAST!!!"
Dynast face-faults gracefully, hair blowing in the breeze. "NANI? Sailor Garv, Chibi Hellmaster, you are supposed to be fighting Lina, remember?" He sighs dramaticaly and puts a gloved hand to his temple to massage it."This is getting old...Everywhere I go masses swoon over me! Itai my head hurts..."
Promptly a two familiar figures appear and beat back the crowd rushing to help Tuxedo Dynast!
"DYYYNAAASST BREAAATH!!!"
"FIIIIIIREBAAAAAALL!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BUY TUXEDO DYNAST AUTOGRAPHED CELLS!
Signed by the ~REAL~ Tuxedo Dynast, Guaranteed or your money back! (At least .10 of it...:) )
SEE YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO"S AUTOGRAPH!
BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUIMTIREDOFTYPINGALLTHEBUYSYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY NOW WHILE SUPLIES LAST!!!!!
Opps sorry folks they all were sold out already! Bought by Ssj Xelloss Metallium and Rayvenwing k'Sheyna! (*who are smirking, using Garv's credit card to buy them, and count cells gleefully*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is this? The Trickster Priest and a Bird! Is this Rayven and Xelloss?! It is! Promptly they glomp onto Tuxedo Dynast's arms and pull out their BishonenBalls (think of Pokeballs, bishonen-style), glaring at the crowd! "MINE!" they yell!
Tuxedo Dynast glares."You two are supposed to be writing this!" The rest of the cast nods, ready to pounce on Dynast after the esteemed and brilliant authors leave. Xell and Ray procede to glomp harder and start to drag Tuxedo Dynast away!
Will Sailor Garv be deprived of his new ally? Will Chibi ever get enough notes? Will Lina stop drooling enough to get her butt in gear? WILL THE AUTHORS RUN OFF WITH TUXEDO DYNAST? ( I guarantee they will!) Find out our next exciting episode! *giggle* Sailor Garv says!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
When we last left off,the crazy--...ahem,the brillant authors were dragging away Tuxedo Dynast, laughing maniacly. What will happen? Find out in today's exciting episode of Sailor Garv!)
*******************THEME*************************
(Fibby,Xel and Rayven grab some mics,while Garv gets a guitar,doing a rock version of the theme)
~~Fighting good by midnight,
Chugging beer by daylight,
Always panty-flashing during a fight,
He is the one named Sailor Garv!~~
(rest of theme gets cut off by a huge fireball. "Itaiii!")
**************************************************
Tuxedo Dynast glared at the two authors glomped onto his arms. "Let go." They eeped and slowly, very reluctently,let go and pouted. Dynast straightened out his tux and cape. Sailor Chibi Hellmaster came up to them and tugged on Xel's pant leg. "Eek!What are you doing?!" Xel blushes and holds on to pants so they won't fall. Chibi Hellmaster used the kawaii look on Xel. "Ano...."
While a staring contest went on,Rayven started inching back towards Dynast,who was trying not to sweatdrop. "Ack! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! KAWAIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xel broke down and glomped Chibi Hellmaster,who snickered. "Yup,it worked!" He gave the victory sign...."Wha? Nani?!!!!" Xel slung him over her shoulder and signaled to Rayven,who pounced on Dynast. Then they ran off laughing into the beautiful sunset.
Back near the ruins of the bar,SG and co were still standing there in shock. Sailor Garv blinked,"What just happened here?" Valgarv didn't answer,since he was busy trying to look more bishonen like Dynast,so Garv directed the inquirey to Lina. "Grrrrr,those two just ran off with Tuxedo Dynast!!!" SG looked shocked. "We need to save him! L-Sama knows what they'll do to my beloved prince!" Lina arched an eyebrow,"What about the Hellmaster?" Garv replied intelligently, "Who?" Lina snorted,then looked off towards the sunset,looking very dramatic. "Well,I'm going to save him,are you coming?" Everyone gasped. "What, my hero Sailor Garv joining up with the Drammata? the Dragonspooker? the Enemy of All Who Lives?!" Valgarv shouted while SG looked thoughtfull....
~~slow,melodramatic music~~
--Meanwhile,back at the secret club,Conquest Bishonen....~~
"Wahahahahhahahhaaaa!" Xel and Ray said while doing the happy dance and partying. In the backround,Dynast and Fibby were being brainwashed with bishonen energy collected by bishonenballs.
(Will our hero make a truce with his enemy to save Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster? Just what the hell are the authors planning? Do they even know themselves?(probably not) Stay tuned to find out! Sailor Garv says! *giggles*)
*************************************************
Today's episode was greatly influenced by "Buhsuka" a crazy,very kawaii song by Megumi Hayashibara,advailable at Phoenixfeather's mp3 Horde weekly section ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last exciting episode, our hero Sailor Garv had two allies stolen by the incredibly (kawailly) evil authors, Xell and Rayven! Poor Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster! (Garv*as briliantly as usual* Who was that last one? Xel&Ray *brain him with Staff™ and Mallet© respectively*)Will Sailor Garv join with the Enemy of All Who Live? (Lina I'll get you two for that.) Will Valgrav's bishonen powers emerge? Tune in to find it out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**************THEME*****************
*the ENTIRE Slayers cast (Yes, even you Zelgadiss! MUAHAHA! The power of Authorhood!)and a mysterious little dragon that pops out of nowhere all join in and sing*
Fiiiiiiiiiiiighting goood by mooonliiiight
Chuuuugging beeeer by daaayliiiight!
Alwaaaaays panty-flaaaashing in a real fight, He is the one named Sailor Garv!
*Garv appears at the end, a pink gauze curtain falling from him as he twirls and powerposes, leg hair flashing in the spotlight,stage center* Garv YEAH! *winks* hee hee!
*********END THEME**************
~In the Fortress/Tribal Village of Conquest Bishonen the evil Queen LoN-sama is reclining in her chair, hands caressing a ball in the shape of the world, her Supremely Kawaily Eeeeeeeevili Generals Xell and Rayven bowing before her, a small little dragon peeking out from various folds in her dress.
Xell steps forward, "Oh mighty Queen of Nightmares we have brought you an offering! The Bishonen Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster! Isnt that right Rayven!" Xel gives Ray, who is reading Fushigi Yugi manga, a sharp nudge. Ray eyes Xel resentfully" But I thought the plan was WE were going to-" Xel slaps a hand over Ray's mouth, sweatdropping massively.
"Um...scratch what she just said, poor BIRD had been having too much chocolate, ne?"
The Queen looks unimpressed and turns her gaze to where the two halpless bishonen are being brainwashed, and danced around by the members of Conquest Bishonen. hmm...She thinks. That chibi Lina shows promise...Her gaze turns to the other conquests, Zechs (YES he HAD to come first) , Zelgadiss, Marron, Rezo,Kapii Rezo, the entire lot of bishonen from Fushigi Yugi. There was somehting missing..
"AIIIE!WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! GET IT OUT OF MY *!@&!@&*% DRESS!" Queen L-sama shrieked, and jiggled her dress around,Hellmaster perking up at the Hell, her never-faithful generals (Who I assure you plot to take all the bishonen for themselves! MUAHAHAHA!) trying to not help her. A small lil dragon drops out of her bustline, giggling.
"Me Hasakuro! Me wanna play!" He spies Chibi Hellmaster's pink fuku and with a small roar pounces it, shredding.Chibi squeals and bites the lil thing. Everything grinds to a halt, and all say in unison- "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS THAT!"
"Oh ho ho ho! A Distraction put here by ME! Sailor Garv!" A strong voice trumpets!
*************************************************
(And now a word from our sponsers)
~~~~RETRO-MERCIAL!~~~~
*Sailor Garv appears in a flashy polyester stretch bellbottoms, platform shoes, and a 'fro*
Buy my line of Hair Gel! Guaranteed to work!
*a pic of former hairdo appears, folowed by a 'fro-ified one* *he winks and twirls, powerposing, disco lights flashing* Guaranteed to work on leg hair too!(*insert author spazing, twitching on the floor, a flashback of Marge Simpson forming in mind*)
*winking,he pulls up the leg of the bellbottoms, displaying spiky leghair* All the rage! Sailor Garv Says!
**************************************************
All of Club Bishonen: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANI!!! WHAT THE F*CK!!!
Tuxedo Dynast's ice-blue eyes simply gaze up from where he was lecturing the authors and, a anime-crying pink-fuku-less Chibi Hellmaster with a kawaii purring Hasakuro in lap, on the proper way to write a story. The Conquested Bishonen sat there and looked big and dumb, though still bishonenish. (*Ray looks around to see if Gourry had taken over her keyboard*)
Queen LoN-sama cries "DAMN YOU SAILOR GARV! WHAT the! THE ENEMY OF ALL WHO LIVE TOO!!! NOOOO! SUCH AN ALLIANCE IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!"
**************************
LinaDIIIIIIIIIIE RAYVEN DIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!
Rayven *poses in her new SM-SG! General outfit* WAHAAHHAHAHAAAAAAA! I AM EVIL!
**************************
A figure is suddenly spotlighted, a tall, buff man with looong red hair tied at the end with a maroon bow. He twirls delicately upon one booted foot, and comes around in the traditional Sailor Moon pose, blue fuku and loose white uniform shirt ( They simply could NOT put a tight bodysuit on Garv for censor reasons!)flaring in that damn anime breeze." I am Sailor Garv, and in the name of the Mazoku I WILL punish you! You simply cant go around kidnapping bishonen, unless its might be me!"
Garv is suddenly butt-bumped out of the way, Lina taking over the spotlight!Her red-hair and shoulder armor flashing, cape flaring she cries " I am Lina Inverse, Sorceress Supreme! I am a force of good to be reckoned with! Darkness beyond twi- OOH IS THAT ZECHS!!!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Squealing she bolts over to the brainwashed Zechs, drooling over his bishonenss. Garv eyes her, glaring.
" Wernt you SUPPOSED to be on MY side?" Still fuming from the spotlight-stealing he gets up, not seeing the Chibi Lina who had been fried by a chance Panty-Flash-Of-Doom™, gone all swirly-eyed. (alt+0159 on numberpad! MUAHAH! Ray is QUEEN!)
No answer from Lina but a giggle as she throws Zechs over one shoulder and makes off with her Conquest. General Rayven snaps back to life and runs after, shrieking "HE'S MINE MINE MINE MINE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE I TELL YOU!!!!!! MIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!" Xel eyes Garv unfriendly-like, stepping in front of HER Conquest, Tuxedo Dynast! They lock eyes, a battle of wills forming!
"Tuxedo Dynast is MY property, Garv." Xell smiles that 'Sore wa imitsu desu' smile. Garv fumes and his hand twitches, summoning his wand.
In the distance a chibi Queen LoN-sama is seen, waving her arms and legs frantically in an attempt to get her spotlight as THE Head of the bad people back. Haskuro gnaws on Chibi Hellmaster's pink wand, while Phibby is frantically working at the ropes that bind him, praying that the blasted thing wont eat the REST of him too! Dynast's eyebrow is twitching in supreme annoyance about being treated like a side of beef, while Lina and Rayven play tug-of-war with Zechs. Sparks begin to fly between Xel and Garv, and Xel actually opens both eyes, while Garv turns rear-ward prepared to panty-flash!
Suddenly a ice-green rose flashes between the two, and the room stills in shock. All eyes go to Tuxedo Dynast, who is equally shocked, and shrugs!
Then a strong voice is heard, and a spotlight flashes to another stained-glass window, where a shadowy figure is seen.
"Plagarists these days, OY!" Dynast mutters, making a mental note to blow up this upstart, a direct threat to his bishoness!
Garv face-faults, recognizing the pale spiky green hair and horn, frying the stupified Xelly with a Panty-Flash. Getting up he shouts-
"VALGRAV!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!? Is this new potential bishonen catch actually VALGRAV! Will Xell and Garv square it off anyway? Will Queen L-sama actually become the Evil Last Person to Fight? Will Rayven and Lina settle who gets Zechs? Will Tuxedo Dynast prove true to form? Find out next exciting episode, Sailor Garv says! *giggle*
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And Rayven/Lina sighs dramatically....@_@ Sorry for all that hee hee itsh three inthe morning and I'm CAFFENE-HAPPY! WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAA NO DAAAAA! DAAAAAAA NO DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! DAAAAAA DAAAAAAA! That music provided once again by our dear Phoe-chan at her mp3 Horde! ^_^() Chichiri's image song, Ochanoko Saisai Hengen Jizai!