Constable Jones in the case of the missing butler.
Scene: a large mansion in the country
A gun shot is heard then a woman's scream.
"Darling, darling are you alright" said Major Briggs semi-drunkenly staggering into the drawing room, "By Jove I think something's happened here." A woman lay dead on the floor. "Darling is that you?" he dim-wittedly asked the body on the floor. "Oh no, it's just the maid"
"Is every thing alright, love?" A young woman asked, entering the room.
"Look's like Bessie's been shot, Rose" remarked the Major.
"Who?" his astounded wife replied
"Bessie, that maid"
"Oh, you mean Betty, well that's no great problem is it?" she airily said, "I mean we can always get another one, can't we?"
"Yes, but that's not the point, who's going to bring me my port in the mean time?" He picks up the phone and dials, "Hello, is that the police? Yes well we seem to have quite a mystery on our hands; our maid's been shot! I know, very distressing, yes well make it quick won't you, there's a good fellow."
A few moments later a sharp rap on the door is heard, the Major opens it, and two police constables enter, and follow Rose through to the drawing room.
"Major Briggs, were you and your wife the only ones in the house at the time of the murder?" inquired constable Jones.
"Well there was the butler..." began the Major.
"Would you mind fetching him?" said constable Jones, the second police officer remaining strangely quite, and looking slightly green at the sight of the body lying on the floor.
"Not at all, Bessie, call the butler... quickly now, oh she's dead, I suppose I'd better go then..." Major Briggs leaves the room, he returns around 15 minutes later "... the butlers gone, all that was left was a gun in his room" he stammered.
"How strange," remarked constable Jones "why would a murderer kill an innocent maid, then steal a butler, leaving the murder weapon behind? What are your thoughts on this, Smith?" Said constable Jones turning to his partner for the first time that evening. "I know its only your first case, but have a shot at it anyway, opps that was a bit thoughtless, sorry, don't you just wish you could drop dead sometimes, opps, sorry again."
"Ummm" constable Smith managed to stutter, looking even greener than before.
"Hmmm, I notice that you've been very quiet this evening, in fact I believe you are involved in this murder, why else have you been so quiet? I believe, indeed that you are the murderer! Where have you been this evening? ...So, still not saying any thing, well, in that case I charge you with murder of the first degree"
"But, but, but..." the unfortunate constable began.
"No, there are no excuses for this I'll radio the SWAT team"
"Thanks for capturing the culprit" said Rose gratefully.
"Yes, jolly good show old boy." Said the Major.
"Oh don't worry, I'm just glad to have closed this case." Replied the first constable.
"But, wait a minute, what about our butler???"
"Oh, I'm sure he'll turn up soon enough."
CASE CLOSED
P.S the butler never did turn up, as he had robbed Major Briggs of every penny he had, the Major did not realise for several months, when he finally sobered up, due to the lack of port, well really the lack of anyone to serve him it.