Warnings:: At this point this seems slightly redundant, but ahead I will move with what must be done. This is the last part, so it being a deathfic you might want a box of tissues, it's yaoi, 1x2, and anything else that has cropped up in an earlier part could apply here, but it probably won't. As always, FEEDBACK. It's such a wonderful thing to see reviews that push me toward writing more, and I currently have several things going that might be posted if I ever get around to finishing what's started, so try and keep me moving if you want more. That's all... ^_^
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The Most Bittersweet Gift part 10
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. The faint beeping of the machine to Heero's left reassured him that Duo still lived and would be fine, but still, it was hard to see the slender frame wrapped up tight in a hospital bed, lines going this way and that, the IV coming from his hand. Lifting the hand he petted the smooth, cold skin gently, brought it up to his face and held it there. Relena would be back soon; he could hear the click, click of her heels as she came back from the lobby where she had put a call in to the others. She passed the hall and Heero recognized her nervous pacing. From the bed came a soft groan and the long, dark lashes fluttered open, revealing cloudy, confused amethyst eyes.
"Duo?" Heero whispered.
"Yeah, babe," Duo answered back weakly.
"You...you passed out in the hall," Heero explained, leaning in to the cool hand that stroked his cheek. "Dr. Wright should be here in a couple minutes. How are you feeling?"
"Pretty rough to tell you the truth. I don't need Dr. Wright here to tell me I'm dying, we knew that. I.... I lied; I had less time than what I told you. I'm sorry."
Heero shook his head, coming to sit at the edge of the hospital bed, "It's alright, I can forgive you this. I'm just glad you came to see me. I had missed you and I hadn't even realized it until the space was filled, and now you're leaving me again."
"I'm sorry, Heero. That's why I didn't want to come back, that's why I didn't want to see you again. Oi, help me sit up." Heero slid an arm around Duo and helped him rise up a little with the hospital bed, kept his arm there even after Duo got comfortable.
The door opened slowly and Relena stepped in. "Wufei is still out in space and he won't be back until tonight. Quatre said him and Trowa could be on the next flight and they would be here in three hours."
"Oh, you called the guys," Duo groaned, knowing he wouldn't be able to see Quatre in tears or Wufei drawn. He only hoped this death would bring the other's closer together, hoped it would tie the knot that would make them inseparable. Rolling his eyes he settled into the curve of Heero's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Can't turn back time now," he muttered. Heero shook his head and rested his cheek against the chestnut hair. No one knew what to say and the room remained silent for some time, then Heero heard the soft snore coming from beside him and knew Duo had drifted to sleep.
"Would you stop prancing around like you have ants in your pants and come move your checker," Duo grumbled, watching Heero move back over to the window, check his watch, glance over at the bed. Moving over he placed himself on the edge of the bed and surveyed the checkerboard, eyeing the little black and red pieces; he was red. Moving his piece he watched as Duo studied the board, then his hand came out, a bruise the size of Heero's hand gracing the wrist where Heero had lifted Duo's body earlier, the checker moved, jumping across the board and then settling against the last row. "That's better. Did Trowa take Quatre out for a cup of coffee or is he flitting around the hall making sure every nurse is alert?" This agitation came mostly from the fact Duo had managed to talk Dr. Wright into removing all the ridiculous monitoring machines, pointing out that it hardly mattered in the circumstance. Needless to say, they had been removed, everything last one of the.
"Probably a little of both," Heero admitted, watching as the thin hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind Duo's ears. Most of the hair was there, but even now little wisps would occasionally snake out if fingers moved through unwary. "Wufei called and said he would be here in 20 minutes."
Duo nodded. "Alright, I win again, so what gives? This is the fifth one in a row, and Heero Yuy is the master of strategy. Well, no, that's Quatre, but you're close. You must be preoccupied." Duo set aside the checkerboard that Relena had brought in from the gift shop and studied the Japanese man's face. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes, and tightness to his mouth that hadn't been there before. Briefly in the back of his mind a voice whispered to Duo that this was because of him, he was the cause of this newfound worry.
"It's not the end of the world, you know, people die everyday," Duo murmured, holding his arms out to Heero. Heero moved in to pull the American against him and held him tight, but not too tightly. "Pretty soon you'll get over it, you'll put this aside in your memory, and you will move on with your life. Do you understand me? I do not want you to kill yourself after this, or let yourself go. You have to watch out for the other's, and you have to live."
Heero nodded and pressed his cheek against the back of Duo's shoulder, feeling an unfamiliar warmth and tightness in his chest, different from the others, a burning, prickling sensation in his eyes. Duo turned and stroked the soft hair that still insisted on moving out in every direction, lifted the face up to see the hot tears he had just felt against his shoulder. Leaning in he kissed them away, shaking his head. "Don't make me come back and haunt you," Duo warned, running his thumb over the smooth, wet cheek.
"I won't," Heero whispered. Duo smiled tenderly and ran a hand lightly down Heero's shoulder. "Promise me, Heero. I know you won't break a promise, so promise me."
"I promise."
Duo nodded and placed a sweet kiss against Heero's lips, felt Heero respond under the kiss, wrapping his arms around the other. Duo pulled back slowly and reached around behind him, unclasped the chain of the cross, then brought it around to secure it around Heero's neck. "No, Duo, I don't...this is yours," Heero protested, touching the gold with trembling fingers.
"And it's yours now," Duo told him. "I want it to be worn, I want someone to keep wearing it. What good will it do me?"
Heero ran his fingers over the smooth metal, his fingers wet with his tears. He touched Duo's face softly and then leaned in to place a light kiss against the lips. The mouth returned for a second kiss, more demanding and then Duo pushed him back, face flushed. "Gomen Heero, I'm just so tired," he whispered, forcing a smile he didn't feel inside. He moved against the others body, cuddling closer, the blanket wrapped tight around him. "You're so warm," Duo murmured, brushing wayward strands of hair from Heero's face.
But I feel so cold inside.
Duo lifted his head to look at Heero's face, now dried of its tears, smiled sincerely at the worried expression. "Give me another kiss," Duo whispered. Heero dropped the inch or so to brush his lips over Duo's, which somehow still managed to taste sweet, a taste he had found similar only to chocolate, and one he realized he would never get enough of. Another soft, undemanding kiss and Duo's fingers crawled slowly up Heero's arms, then down, stroking the flesh. "I'm so tired, Heero," Duo whispered, tilting his head back into the chest which supported him. "So tired."
The room's door opened silently and Wufei stepped in, clothes wrinkled from the flight, still dressed in his Preventer uniform, looking despite the circumstance tall and commanding. Duo's eyes traveled up the rumpled sight, remembering his friend from the last time they had spoken, until he hit Wufei's face, then he shot Wufei a lopsided grin. "Hey, Wu-man, delightful to see you."
"Maxwell, likewise," Wufei greeted. His onyx eyes bore into Heero. "Have you been watching out for him?"
"Yes."
"Good." Duo sat up a bit straighter and raised an eyebrow, "What, Wu-man, no hug? It's been forever since I've seen you, the least you could do is give me a hug, ya know."
Wufei's lips twitched in a smile, and then he gave a sharp nod, but it was softened by the expression. "Of course, Maxwell," he said, coming around the side of the bed to let the other envelop him in a caring hug before returning it lightly, then stepped back once again.
"How did your thing go?" Duo asked curiously.
"The rumor was false, but there was a faction trying to gather that sort of material for just that. They will be taken in soon enough. Routine, boring, we didn't blow anything up or anything. How are you feeling?"
"Like death warmed over."
Heero raised an eyebrow and Wufei gave another nod, perhaps one of the only pilots who could truly appreciate the American's sense of humor, however dry and tasteless it proved to be on occasion. The second one who had some luck and some defense against the razor sharp wit, of course, would be Heero. "That bad, huh? Well, I've seen you, and it was a pleasure, really it was. I'll see you again?"
"Definitely," Duo answered. Wufei turned to leave and Duo called out to him, "Hey, Wufei...tell the others how much they've meant to me, alright?"
"Of course, Maxwell." Wufei paused, head cocked to one side, then a brief but real smile flickered across his face. "You know, I've always held the greatest respect for you Duo." With that Wufei slid out the door and Duo looked up at Heero, eyes wide. "I think that's by far the nicest thing he's ever said to me."
Heero smiled and laid a kiss against Duo's nose, having retreated back against Heero's chest the minute he hadn't had to sit up anymore. Duo closed his weary eyes and let out a sigh, feeling the energy drain from him, and oddly enough feeling the relief as the pain began to numb. Heero placed a kiss against Duo's forehead, leaned down and kissed him again on the mouth, then pulled back with an accepting smile. "Duo," Heero whispered softly.
"Hmmm..."
"I love you Duo."
Duo smiled as he drifted off to sleep and Heero savored the feel of the American in his arms. He felt each breath as it entered the resting body and left, and noticed immediately when the breathing seemed to slow down, then it stilled altogether. Heero continued to hold the American even after he began to feel the first hints of the warmth leaving the once living flesh and he felt tears stinging his eyes again, his chest tightening.
The thoughts came unbidden to Heero's mind, ripping nearly silent sobs from his throat as he rocked back and forth on the bed.
I will never hold this amazing person in my arms again. I will never hear him whisper my name in the middle of the night. I will never feel his arms wrapping around me to give comfort. I will never taste his sweet, loving kisses again. I will never hear him laugh; I will never see him smile. I will never look at this face and know that he has eyes only for me, and that he loves me, and that he will do anything he can to make me happy, because he's not here anymore...
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The Most Bittersweet Gift part 11
Heero sat back on his haunches and pondered the last few memories that had resurfaced as he had read through Duo's journal. He had found it the next day in a fit of despair when he had thrown the computer and all it's components, desk included, in a rage. Somewhere, either in something or hidden beneath, or maybe just in plain sight Duo thinking he would come back in and hide it later, that little journal had sat, waiting, lonely. It had taken a week for Heero to gather the courage to open it, and then he had to force himself to look through it later that night, which is where Heero found himself, sitting on the bed, reading through his angel's last thoughts and emotions and wishes and dreams.
The others were still there, minus Relena, who had to rush back to her kingdom for some important business. Quatre and Trowa had themselves booked for two weeks in a hotel not even twenty minutes from here, and Wufei had accepted the guest bedroom. Duo had been buried three days ago, a simple yet charming production that Heero had not been able to attend. It was for memory alone, Duo had requested to be cremated, and his ashes spread into the sea on a night with sprinkling rain beneath the moon, the three things that Duo had loved about earth. Heero watched the news every day to see when the best time would be.
Stroking the beaten pages of the journal Heero thought back to all the memories that had flooded his mind as he had read through each entry, of what had happened before and after to create each entry and shape his actions once it was written. His memories of the events had been so clear he had thought for a moment he had been reliving the moments, that they were happening as they did right then, right there, and for one second he had Duo back. But he was wrong.
Going through the blank pages slowly Heero saw small doodles here and there in the upper corners, as if Duo had been stuck for something to say, or hesitant to write, and had simply sketched the indecision away. Looking over the few things he had from the boy who had brazenly called himself Shinigami he wiped absently across his eyes with the back of his hand, ignoring the now familiar wetness there, and picked up the long braid he had saved that day, running the strands through his fingers. He knew what he would do with this, but not yet, soon. It would be donated to the cause of making wigs for those who are losing their hair to a disease. It was what Duo would have wanted; it's what Heero wanted. He had found the will without the help of the journal, and he had known what to do with the small notebooks with the others names on them, but he had not been sure of what to do with the other things, until now.
He would keep them; maybe try to see if any of the writing or cartoons could be published, he always knew how badly Duo wanted to be recognized for something good, not tainted, as he was as the ex-gundam pilot.
Closing the journal slowly Heero touched the battered cover, smiling wistfully. He knew someone else would be regretting every harsh word, every rough touch, every icy glance that they had bestowed onto the recently departed, but not Heero. Heero sometimes wished he might have been kinder, might have showed how much he cared, but he never regretted. Each event led to the next, and if one of them had changed, then the future might have changed, the purpose of the events might have changed, and Heero wasn't about to question the reasons. He had made a decision and it felt right, he would live up to it as best as he could.
Picking up the journal he placed it next to the bedside stand, where it had sat every since it's discovery, and drew his laptop onto his lap, powered it up, then while he waited reviewed his actions before he made the commitment. They were right. He opened a program and began to type.
To: Whom It May Concern,
I have recently heard of your program for placing children with incurable diseases in homes so they do not have to live in orphanages, away from the attention and affection that they so desperately need. I would like to volunteer as such a foster home, and perhaps you will not find my situation to be in area you are looking for, I find that I ask you to at least consider my offer with an open mind and an open heart. One thing I do understand, perhaps more than anyone else, is the value of a life. I am an ex-gundam pilot, Heero Yuy, and I am looking for a way to make a difference in a life so that the child understands the value that they hold. I do not have any others living in my household, but I do have four wonderful friends who would support everything I do and always be willing to help out. Money is no problem, their life would be contented, but not overly lavish, and they would never want for anything, be it material needs or medical expenses, all of which I am willing to pay from my own pocket. Currently I am in transition, moving from the house I own now to another, of which you will be informed of the address as soon as I establish one. I have recently lost someone to a disease, one that was completely unknown to the doctors, someone who I hold very close to my heart. It is his death that moves me to offer this support which he did not have until the last days, and it is his death which gave me the most bittersweet gift I have ever received, the gift of my forgotten humanity. If you find it in your heart to let me help a needing child I will forever be grateful, please let me know. And please, forgive the man the sins of the unwitting child he once had been.
Sincerely,
Heero Yuy.
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EPILOGUE (one year later)
Heero Yuy scanned the lightly rippling ocean, milky black this night, the only light reflecting that of the small boat and the full moon high above. He ignored the light drizzle that had quickly pressed his black jeans and white shirt flush against his skin, and instead he lifted his head upward a moment to enjoy the cool breeze that pushed the water to the left as it fell. Looking back out over the water he began to whisper to the night, in his hands holding a metal object protectively against him, eyes open just enough he could follow the motion of the lapping water.
"It's a gorgeous night out here, not too cool, not hot either. Well, it took me five months to find the right night that would be good enough for you, but here it is, and it must be an omen. Are you watching out for me? I think you are. Tomorrow morning I go meet the child who may be my foster daughter, if she wants me, everything else is taken care of. I'm a photographer now, one of the best. Last week one of my shots went on an auction and brought in several thousand dollars, maybe more, but it all went to the Maxwell Charity for underprivileged children. Yeah, you heard me, I...the guys and me started a charity organization. Wufei thought it would be fitting to call it the Maxwell Charity; it seemed like something you would approve of.
"I moved away from that house. Not because I couldn't take the memories of you, but because once you left me, it was no longer my home, it was just a house, walls, carpet, rooms, but no life, no love. I have a nice place now, though, a very nice place." Heero drew silent, leaning against the rail of the boat. After another moment he decided it was time and opened the urn, let the ashes float to the sea, carried by the wind and rain. "Well, it's only fitting. It's such a beautiful night."
With that he turned and moved back towards the shore, feeling the wind tickle his skin, placing feather light kisses everywhere it touched.
"Mr. Yuy, I must confess we had our doubts about you from you're letter, but we did some checks, we talked to people, and you seem to have a wonderful support system, even if it's only you. I suppose I should explain the situation before you meet her, simply because she's so excited. She's very insecure, afraid that you won't want her after you see her. Her case is a bit different, besides the fact she has cancer, although you'd never realize it. Where some of these kids have always been orphans living in places like these, moving from homes, and some only came during the war, or just after, she has no memory of a life before coming here about a year ago, and we suspect she was living on the streets from a very young age."
Heero nodded, following the white haired woman through the halls, seeing in different rooms children of various ages doing various things. A group of four, probably in the ages between 9-11 moved past the two, mumbling apologies as they barreled after the person they were
trying to tag. A smile quirked Heero's lips.
"Where did you say she was found?" Heero asked, looking back at the woman.
"I didn't." She looked away down the hall, and then glanced back, "Please understand she may be a bit rowdy, and that her manners are in need of serious work, but do not let her colony put you against her before you've even seen her."
"Colony?"
"Yes, she somehow got onto a flight and they found her in the cargo hold, brought her to us. She's eight."
"Where is she from?"
The woman continued on, and then gave a nod. "She's from L2."
Heero stopped short, reminding himself to breathe. The woman stopped as well, gaze becoming stern. "Give her a chance at least, she may surprise you. I know the reputation that colony has, has always had, but I think that she will prove that common theme wrong."
Heero held up a hand to stop her, "Continue on, there's nothing wrong with where she comes from. If anything...if anything I think it makes it more appealing that I meet her."
After an uncertain pause she gave a nod and moved through, then came to a door, opened it slowly. There were several children in the room, all nearly about 8 or 9, and they were all gathered around a table where an older kid was reading something to them.
"Angela, could you come here a moment," the director called out.
A young girl with a mass of black hair stood slowly and shuffled over, head down, then stopped in front of them, wringing her small hands. "Angela, I want you to meet Heero Yuy, the one I told you about. He wants to give you a home, take care of you, if you want to go."
Angela glanced up, and then down, nodding slightly, then dug the toe of her ratty tennis shoe into the carpet of the room, her lips forming a frown. "Hi Mister."
Heero dropped on one knee, tilting his head down to see her face, "Hello Angela, can I have a look at you?"
She lifted her head and Heero met a shining pair of violet eyes. He pressed a hand to his mouth, and then gave a nod. She gave a lopsided grin and Heero held out his arms, to which she hesitantly accepted the hug.
THE END...
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I hope it wasn't too bad, I promise I won't write another deathfic for a bit, give you more rousing things to read, if you want more...
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The Most Bittersweet Gift part 10
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. The faint beeping of the machine to Heero's left reassured him that Duo still lived and would be fine, but still, it was hard to see the slender frame wrapped up tight in a hospital bed, lines going this way and that, the IV coming from his hand. Lifting the hand he petted the smooth, cold skin gently, brought it up to his face and held it there. Relena would be back soon; he could hear the click, click of her heels as she came back from the lobby where she had put a call in to the others. She passed the hall and Heero recognized her nervous pacing. From the bed came a soft groan and the long, dark lashes fluttered open, revealing cloudy, confused amethyst eyes.
"Duo?" Heero whispered.
"Yeah, babe," Duo answered back weakly.
"You...you passed out in the hall," Heero explained, leaning in to the cool hand that stroked his cheek. "Dr. Wright should be here in a couple minutes. How are you feeling?"
"Pretty rough to tell you the truth. I don't need Dr. Wright here to tell me I'm dying, we knew that. I.... I lied; I had less time than what I told you. I'm sorry."
Heero shook his head, coming to sit at the edge of the hospital bed, "It's alright, I can forgive you this. I'm just glad you came to see me. I had missed you and I hadn't even realized it until the space was filled, and now you're leaving me again."
"I'm sorry, Heero. That's why I didn't want to come back, that's why I didn't want to see you again. Oi, help me sit up." Heero slid an arm around Duo and helped him rise up a little with the hospital bed, kept his arm there even after Duo got comfortable.
The door opened slowly and Relena stepped in. "Wufei is still out in space and he won't be back until tonight. Quatre said him and Trowa could be on the next flight and they would be here in three hours."
"Oh, you called the guys," Duo groaned, knowing he wouldn't be able to see Quatre in tears or Wufei drawn. He only hoped this death would bring the other's closer together, hoped it would tie the knot that would make them inseparable. Rolling his eyes he settled into the curve of Heero's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Can't turn back time now," he muttered. Heero shook his head and rested his cheek against the chestnut hair. No one knew what to say and the room remained silent for some time, then Heero heard the soft snore coming from beside him and knew Duo had drifted to sleep.
"Would you stop prancing around like you have ants in your pants and come move your checker," Duo grumbled, watching Heero move back over to the window, check his watch, glance over at the bed. Moving over he placed himself on the edge of the bed and surveyed the checkerboard, eyeing the little black and red pieces; he was red. Moving his piece he watched as Duo studied the board, then his hand came out, a bruise the size of Heero's hand gracing the wrist where Heero had lifted Duo's body earlier, the checker moved, jumping across the board and then settling against the last row. "That's better. Did Trowa take Quatre out for a cup of coffee or is he flitting around the hall making sure every nurse is alert?" This agitation came mostly from the fact Duo had managed to talk Dr. Wright into removing all the ridiculous monitoring machines, pointing out that it hardly mattered in the circumstance. Needless to say, they had been removed, everything last one of the.
"Probably a little of both," Heero admitted, watching as the thin hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind Duo's ears. Most of the hair was there, but even now little wisps would occasionally snake out if fingers moved through unwary. "Wufei called and said he would be here in 20 minutes."
Duo nodded. "Alright, I win again, so what gives? This is the fifth one in a row, and Heero Yuy is the master of strategy. Well, no, that's Quatre, but you're close. You must be preoccupied." Duo set aside the checkerboard that Relena had brought in from the gift shop and studied the Japanese man's face. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes, and tightness to his mouth that hadn't been there before. Briefly in the back of his mind a voice whispered to Duo that this was because of him, he was the cause of this newfound worry.
"It's not the end of the world, you know, people die everyday," Duo murmured, holding his arms out to Heero. Heero moved in to pull the American against him and held him tight, but not too tightly. "Pretty soon you'll get over it, you'll put this aside in your memory, and you will move on with your life. Do you understand me? I do not want you to kill yourself after this, or let yourself go. You have to watch out for the other's, and you have to live."
Heero nodded and pressed his cheek against the back of Duo's shoulder, feeling an unfamiliar warmth and tightness in his chest, different from the others, a burning, prickling sensation in his eyes. Duo turned and stroked the soft hair that still insisted on moving out in every direction, lifted the face up to see the hot tears he had just felt against his shoulder. Leaning in he kissed them away, shaking his head. "Don't make me come back and haunt you," Duo warned, running his thumb over the smooth, wet cheek.
"I won't," Heero whispered. Duo smiled tenderly and ran a hand lightly down Heero's shoulder. "Promise me, Heero. I know you won't break a promise, so promise me."
"I promise."
Duo nodded and placed a sweet kiss against Heero's lips, felt Heero respond under the kiss, wrapping his arms around the other. Duo pulled back slowly and reached around behind him, unclasped the chain of the cross, then brought it around to secure it around Heero's neck. "No, Duo, I don't...this is yours," Heero protested, touching the gold with trembling fingers.
"And it's yours now," Duo told him. "I want it to be worn, I want someone to keep wearing it. What good will it do me?"
Heero ran his fingers over the smooth metal, his fingers wet with his tears. He touched Duo's face softly and then leaned in to place a light kiss against the lips. The mouth returned for a second kiss, more demanding and then Duo pushed him back, face flushed. "Gomen Heero, I'm just so tired," he whispered, forcing a smile he didn't feel inside. He moved against the others body, cuddling closer, the blanket wrapped tight around him. "You're so warm," Duo murmured, brushing wayward strands of hair from Heero's face.
But I feel so cold inside.
Duo lifted his head to look at Heero's face, now dried of its tears, smiled sincerely at the worried expression. "Give me another kiss," Duo whispered. Heero dropped the inch or so to brush his lips over Duo's, which somehow still managed to taste sweet, a taste he had found similar only to chocolate, and one he realized he would never get enough of. Another soft, undemanding kiss and Duo's fingers crawled slowly up Heero's arms, then down, stroking the flesh. "I'm so tired, Heero," Duo whispered, tilting his head back into the chest which supported him. "So tired."
The room's door opened silently and Wufei stepped in, clothes wrinkled from the flight, still dressed in his Preventer uniform, looking despite the circumstance tall and commanding. Duo's eyes traveled up the rumpled sight, remembering his friend from the last time they had spoken, until he hit Wufei's face, then he shot Wufei a lopsided grin. "Hey, Wu-man, delightful to see you."
"Maxwell, likewise," Wufei greeted. His onyx eyes bore into Heero. "Have you been watching out for him?"
"Yes."
"Good." Duo sat up a bit straighter and raised an eyebrow, "What, Wu-man, no hug? It's been forever since I've seen you, the least you could do is give me a hug, ya know."
Wufei's lips twitched in a smile, and then he gave a sharp nod, but it was softened by the expression. "Of course, Maxwell," he said, coming around the side of the bed to let the other envelop him in a caring hug before returning it lightly, then stepped back once again.
"How did your thing go?" Duo asked curiously.
"The rumor was false, but there was a faction trying to gather that sort of material for just that. They will be taken in soon enough. Routine, boring, we didn't blow anything up or anything. How are you feeling?"
"Like death warmed over."
Heero raised an eyebrow and Wufei gave another nod, perhaps one of the only pilots who could truly appreciate the American's sense of humor, however dry and tasteless it proved to be on occasion. The second one who had some luck and some defense against the razor sharp wit, of course, would be Heero. "That bad, huh? Well, I've seen you, and it was a pleasure, really it was. I'll see you again?"
"Definitely," Duo answered. Wufei turned to leave and Duo called out to him, "Hey, Wufei...tell the others how much they've meant to me, alright?"
"Of course, Maxwell." Wufei paused, head cocked to one side, then a brief but real smile flickered across his face. "You know, I've always held the greatest respect for you Duo." With that Wufei slid out the door and Duo looked up at Heero, eyes wide. "I think that's by far the nicest thing he's ever said to me."
Heero smiled and laid a kiss against Duo's nose, having retreated back against Heero's chest the minute he hadn't had to sit up anymore. Duo closed his weary eyes and let out a sigh, feeling the energy drain from him, and oddly enough feeling the relief as the pain began to numb. Heero placed a kiss against Duo's forehead, leaned down and kissed him again on the mouth, then pulled back with an accepting smile. "Duo," Heero whispered softly.
"Hmmm..."
"I love you Duo."
Duo smiled as he drifted off to sleep and Heero savored the feel of the American in his arms. He felt each breath as it entered the resting body and left, and noticed immediately when the breathing seemed to slow down, then it stilled altogether. Heero continued to hold the American even after he began to feel the first hints of the warmth leaving the once living flesh and he felt tears stinging his eyes again, his chest tightening.
The thoughts came unbidden to Heero's mind, ripping nearly silent sobs from his throat as he rocked back and forth on the bed.
I will never hold this amazing person in my arms again. I will never hear him whisper my name in the middle of the night. I will never feel his arms wrapping around me to give comfort. I will never taste his sweet, loving kisses again. I will never hear him laugh; I will never see him smile. I will never look at this face and know that he has eyes only for me, and that he loves me, and that he will do anything he can to make me happy, because he's not here anymore...
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The Most Bittersweet Gift part 11
Heero sat back on his haunches and pondered the last few memories that had resurfaced as he had read through Duo's journal. He had found it the next day in a fit of despair when he had thrown the computer and all it's components, desk included, in a rage. Somewhere, either in something or hidden beneath, or maybe just in plain sight Duo thinking he would come back in and hide it later, that little journal had sat, waiting, lonely. It had taken a week for Heero to gather the courage to open it, and then he had to force himself to look through it later that night, which is where Heero found himself, sitting on the bed, reading through his angel's last thoughts and emotions and wishes and dreams.
The others were still there, minus Relena, who had to rush back to her kingdom for some important business. Quatre and Trowa had themselves booked for two weeks in a hotel not even twenty minutes from here, and Wufei had accepted the guest bedroom. Duo had been buried three days ago, a simple yet charming production that Heero had not been able to attend. It was for memory alone, Duo had requested to be cremated, and his ashes spread into the sea on a night with sprinkling rain beneath the moon, the three things that Duo had loved about earth. Heero watched the news every day to see when the best time would be.
Stroking the beaten pages of the journal Heero thought back to all the memories that had flooded his mind as he had read through each entry, of what had happened before and after to create each entry and shape his actions once it was written. His memories of the events had been so clear he had thought for a moment he had been reliving the moments, that they were happening as they did right then, right there, and for one second he had Duo back. But he was wrong.
Going through the blank pages slowly Heero saw small doodles here and there in the upper corners, as if Duo had been stuck for something to say, or hesitant to write, and had simply sketched the indecision away. Looking over the few things he had from the boy who had brazenly called himself Shinigami he wiped absently across his eyes with the back of his hand, ignoring the now familiar wetness there, and picked up the long braid he had saved that day, running the strands through his fingers. He knew what he would do with this, but not yet, soon. It would be donated to the cause of making wigs for those who are losing their hair to a disease. It was what Duo would have wanted; it's what Heero wanted. He had found the will without the help of the journal, and he had known what to do with the small notebooks with the others names on them, but he had not been sure of what to do with the other things, until now.
He would keep them; maybe try to see if any of the writing or cartoons could be published, he always knew how badly Duo wanted to be recognized for something good, not tainted, as he was as the ex-gundam pilot.
Closing the journal slowly Heero touched the battered cover, smiling wistfully. He knew someone else would be regretting every harsh word, every rough touch, every icy glance that they had bestowed onto the recently departed, but not Heero. Heero sometimes wished he might have been kinder, might have showed how much he cared, but he never regretted. Each event led to the next, and if one of them had changed, then the future might have changed, the purpose of the events might have changed, and Heero wasn't about to question the reasons. He had made a decision and it felt right, he would live up to it as best as he could.
Picking up the journal he placed it next to the bedside stand, where it had sat every since it's discovery, and drew his laptop onto his lap, powered it up, then while he waited reviewed his actions before he made the commitment. They were right. He opened a program and began to type.
To: Whom It May Concern,
I have recently heard of your program for placing children with incurable diseases in homes so they do not have to live in orphanages, away from the attention and affection that they so desperately need. I would like to volunteer as such a foster home, and perhaps you will not find my situation to be in area you are looking for, I find that I ask you to at least consider my offer with an open mind and an open heart. One thing I do understand, perhaps more than anyone else, is the value of a life. I am an ex-gundam pilot, Heero Yuy, and I am looking for a way to make a difference in a life so that the child understands the value that they hold. I do not have any others living in my household, but I do have four wonderful friends who would support everything I do and always be willing to help out. Money is no problem, their life would be contented, but not overly lavish, and they would never want for anything, be it material needs or medical expenses, all of which I am willing to pay from my own pocket. Currently I am in transition, moving from the house I own now to another, of which you will be informed of the address as soon as I establish one. I have recently lost someone to a disease, one that was completely unknown to the doctors, someone who I hold very close to my heart. It is his death that moves me to offer this support which he did not have until the last days, and it is his death which gave me the most bittersweet gift I have ever received, the gift of my forgotten humanity. If you find it in your heart to let me help a needing child I will forever be grateful, please let me know. And please, forgive the man the sins of the unwitting child he once had been.
Sincerely,
Heero Yuy.
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EPILOGUE (one year later)
Heero Yuy scanned the lightly rippling ocean, milky black this night, the only light reflecting that of the small boat and the full moon high above. He ignored the light drizzle that had quickly pressed his black jeans and white shirt flush against his skin, and instead he lifted his head upward a moment to enjoy the cool breeze that pushed the water to the left as it fell. Looking back out over the water he began to whisper to the night, in his hands holding a metal object protectively against him, eyes open just enough he could follow the motion of the lapping water.
"It's a gorgeous night out here, not too cool, not hot either. Well, it took me five months to find the right night that would be good enough for you, but here it is, and it must be an omen. Are you watching out for me? I think you are. Tomorrow morning I go meet the child who may be my foster daughter, if she wants me, everything else is taken care of. I'm a photographer now, one of the best. Last week one of my shots went on an auction and brought in several thousand dollars, maybe more, but it all went to the Maxwell Charity for underprivileged children. Yeah, you heard me, I...the guys and me started a charity organization. Wufei thought it would be fitting to call it the Maxwell Charity; it seemed like something you would approve of.
"I moved away from that house. Not because I couldn't take the memories of you, but because once you left me, it was no longer my home, it was just a house, walls, carpet, rooms, but no life, no love. I have a nice place now, though, a very nice place." Heero drew silent, leaning against the rail of the boat. After another moment he decided it was time and opened the urn, let the ashes float to the sea, carried by the wind and rain. "Well, it's only fitting. It's such a beautiful night."
With that he turned and moved back towards the shore, feeling the wind tickle his skin, placing feather light kisses everywhere it touched.
"Mr. Yuy, I must confess we had our doubts about you from you're letter, but we did some checks, we talked to people, and you seem to have a wonderful support system, even if it's only you. I suppose I should explain the situation before you meet her, simply because she's so excited. She's very insecure, afraid that you won't want her after you see her. Her case is a bit different, besides the fact she has cancer, although you'd never realize it. Where some of these kids have always been orphans living in places like these, moving from homes, and some only came during the war, or just after, she has no memory of a life before coming here about a year ago, and we suspect she was living on the streets from a very young age."
Heero nodded, following the white haired woman through the halls, seeing in different rooms children of various ages doing various things. A group of four, probably in the ages between 9-11 moved past the two, mumbling apologies as they barreled after the person they were
trying to tag. A smile quirked Heero's lips.
"Where did you say she was found?" Heero asked, looking back at the woman.
"I didn't." She looked away down the hall, and then glanced back, "Please understand she may be a bit rowdy, and that her manners are in need of serious work, but do not let her colony put you against her before you've even seen her."
"Colony?"
"Yes, she somehow got onto a flight and they found her in the cargo hold, brought her to us. She's eight."
"Where is she from?"
The woman continued on, and then gave a nod. "She's from L2."
Heero stopped short, reminding himself to breathe. The woman stopped as well, gaze becoming stern. "Give her a chance at least, she may surprise you. I know the reputation that colony has, has always had, but I think that she will prove that common theme wrong."
Heero held up a hand to stop her, "Continue on, there's nothing wrong with where she comes from. If anything...if anything I think it makes it more appealing that I meet her."
After an uncertain pause she gave a nod and moved through, then came to a door, opened it slowly. There were several children in the room, all nearly about 8 or 9, and they were all gathered around a table where an older kid was reading something to them.
"Angela, could you come here a moment," the director called out.
A young girl with a mass of black hair stood slowly and shuffled over, head down, then stopped in front of them, wringing her small hands. "Angela, I want you to meet Heero Yuy, the one I told you about. He wants to give you a home, take care of you, if you want to go."
Angela glanced up, and then down, nodding slightly, then dug the toe of her ratty tennis shoe into the carpet of the room, her lips forming a frown. "Hi Mister."
Heero dropped on one knee, tilting his head down to see her face, "Hello Angela, can I have a look at you?"
She lifted her head and Heero met a shining pair of violet eyes. He pressed a hand to his mouth, and then gave a nod. She gave a lopsided grin and Heero held out his arms, to which she hesitantly accepted the hug.
THE END...
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I hope it wasn't too bad, I promise I won't write another deathfic for a bit, give you more rousing things to read, if you want more...