Chapter 22
On the alternate Enterprise, Dr. Crusher was fixing Commander Riker's stab wound. "What
happened?" Picard asked Troi.
"I had just arrived as backup when one of the rebels ran up behind him and stabbed him.
We were outnumbered, so I left."
"Are you sure that's exactly what happened?" he asked her suspiciously.
Troi remained calm. "Yes."
"Sir, the Enterprise is matching our course to Time Planet. They're onto us," the helmsman
told the alternate Bashir.
"Damn. We've got to figure out a way to get them out of here. Keep intercepting those
messages," Bashir ordered.
Julian and Vicki Ann sat in the corner, where Julian was scanning her with a tricorder.
"Your nervous system is completely fried. You're lucky you're still conscious."
Vicki Ann tapped the side of her head. "My mind is as tough as they come."
"Your brain, maybe, but you know as well as I do that you can break."
"Don't remind me."
Julian sighed. "Vicki Ann, are you ever going to tell me what happened?"
"Do I have to?"
"If you ever want to see me again after we get home, yes."
"I hate when you play dirty. Well, let's see. They were waiting for me to come out of the
Guardian. Riker beamed down and pretended he was Will. Once I was on board, they took
me to the Agony Booth and drilled me for information. When I didn't tell them anything, the
other Deanna was ready to kill me, but Riker took a liking to me. Apparently, instead of
collecting fireflies in a jar, he collects women.
He keeps them in a small room in his quarters and beats them when they don't comply with
his wishes. I they continue to refuse, he kills them.
I refused him at first, but for some reason, he didn't want to kill me, or maybe he couldn't.
He gave me multiple chances to reconsider. Then, he threatened Will, Deanna and then
you. He said that if I didn't listen, you would have and accident. I refused, so he asked me
what I would do to keep you alive. I told him that I would do anything. I managed to
escape one morning while he was sleeping. I nailed him with a hypospray and pretended to
be one of Deanna's security people. Then, I was kidnaped by two rebels. I'm here, I'm fine,
end of story."
"Vicki Ann, you've been through hell ten times over, so don't even tell me that you're fine.
I know better."
"Julian-."
"Don't 'Julian' me! I'm tired of you pretending everything is fine when you're ready to
scream.. I'm not going to run to Starfleet or your parents and tell them that all your
Betazoid training went to waste and you lost control. You're not Vulcan, Vicki Ann. You
can express your emotions and no one will hold it against you."
She looked up at him, her face wet with tears.
Julian put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around
her as she cried on his shoulder.
"Oh, Julian, it was terrible. He was so horrible. He made my stomach turn. Every time he
touched me, I felt sick. I hated myself for betraying you, but at the same time, I knew
that I had to do it to save you. Julian, I'm so sorry."
Julian rubbed her back with his arm soothingly. "Sshh. It's all right, Vicki Ann. We'll get
through this."
Vicki Ann and Julian stepped through the Guardian. When they reached the other side,
they were on Deep Space Nine. Ezri ran up to them and embraced them both.
"Thank goodness you two are all right!" She turned to Julian. "Captain Sisko is going to
want to speak with you."
Julian nodded. "I suspected as much.."
Vicki Ann glanced at him. "Julian Bashir, what did you do?"
"I went after you without his permission."
"Julian!"
"Don't say it, Vicki Ann! Would you rather be stuck in that other universe?"
"No, but-."
"Then, keep your mouth shut."
"How would I feel about Vicki Ann- I mean, Dr. Troi joining my staff? That would be
wonder-." Julian stopped, quickly composed himself, while straightening his uniform. "I
mean- that would be fine."
Sisko held back a smile. "I didn't think it would be a problem.
The two of you work well together and manage to maintain a professional relationship
while on duty. I just need to ask her."
"Well, I'm sure she'll agree."
"I know, Julian, but I need to ask her personally. You may go and I'll speak to her."
Julian nodded. "Yes, sir."
Sisko tapped his comm badge. "Sisko to Dr. Troi. Please report to my office."
Vicki Ann was stunned. She knew that Starfleet wanted more doctors put on Julian's staff
since they were so near the wormhole, but she never imagined Sisko would ask her. It was
tempting, but she wanted to think about it. "Could I think about it and get back to you?"
Sisko nodded. "Under one condition. You assist in the infirmary until you make up your
mind."
Vicki Ann nodded. "That's fine. Is that all?"
"Yes, you may go."
Vicki Ann nodded and left.
Vicki Ann walked into Quark's and walked over to where Ezri was sitting at the bar.
"Tarkalian tea," she told Quark.
"Are you all right? You don't look so good," Ezri asked her.
Vicki Ann sighed. "Captain Sisko asked me to join Julian's staff."
"That's wonderful!" Ezri exclaimed. When she saw the lack of excitement on her friend's
face, she added, "Isn't it?"'
"I guess so."
"Why the lack of enthusiasm?"
"I don't know. I suppose I don't want to leave the Enterprise."
"Are you sure that's it?"
Vicki Ann looked at Ezri accusingly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with Julian?"
"Like what?"
"Fear of commitment, maybe?"
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"It was just a suggestion."
Vicki Ann sighed. "Maybe it does. After all, look at my track record. I keep making the
same mistakes over and over again, no matter how hard I try to avoid them."
"Are you saying that your relationship with Julian is a mistake?"
"I don't know."
"But Julian isn't abusive, controlling or in love with someone else."
"I know, but. . ."
"But what?"
"I just have a feeling that it's not meant to be for us." Vicki Ann sighed and ran her fingers
through her hair nervously. "I don't know what to do, Ezri."
Ezri put he arm on Vicki Ann's shoulder. "I think you need to talk with Julian about this."
Vicki Ann looked at Ezri. "You're right."
"Julian, we need to talk."
Julian had come back to his quarters after his shift in the infirmary and found Vicki Ann
sitting on the couch in the dark. After turning the lights on, he walked over and sat down
beside her. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"
"I said, we need to talk."
"Fine. Let's talk."
"Captain Sisko asked me today if I wanted to join your staff. I told him I needed to think
about it."
"What's there to think about?" Julian interrupted.
"There's a lot to think about, Julian!"
"Like what?"
"Us, for instance!"
"What about us?"
"My moving onto the station would be a big step for us. A step I'm not sure we're ready
for."
"What are you talking about?"
"Julian, I think we need to spend some time apart to figure out our feelings and determine
whether we're ready for this."
"Why, Vicki Ann?"
"To make sure that we're not making a mistake." Vicki Ann stood and grabbed her suitcase
off the bed. "I've arranged for separate quarters."
"It's nice to know you consulted me before making this decision," Julian replied, bitterly.
"I'm sorry, Julian, but we need to do this."
"Fine. If you feel that we need to do this, then so be it."
"You don't know how happy we are to see you," Deanna told Vicki Ann.
"You don't know how many times I've heard that in the past few days. I'm so glad that the
Enterprise is staying for a while. Captain Sisko asked me to work in the infirmary until I
make up my mind and I would rather not take time away from the Enterprise."
"Have you spoken to Julian lately?" Riker asked.
"No, I haven't. I've been working the night shift. I haven't even run into him yet."
Deanna stood. "I'm getting a drink." She went over to the bar.
She noticed Julian sitting beside her. "Hello, Julian. How are you doing?"
Julian smiled. "I'm all right. I have to admit, I'm not exactly happy with Vicki Ann's decision,
but I'm living with it."
Deanna frowned. "Julian, I really don't believe you're going to leave it at that. You're not
going to let the woman you think you love walk out of you life."
"You don't think I love her, do you?"
"I don't know what you want and I don't think that you do, either. I do think that you
need to do some serious soul searching so that you can figure it out."
"How do I do that?"
"I'd tell you to take a vacation, but considering the war, you're going to have to figure it
out for yourself. I can help you out, though. Here's a few hints. Try to avoid Vicki Ann and
hide anything in your quarters that reminds her. Spend some time alone. Maybe spend
some time in the Holosuites. A hike is usually good for serious thinking. In fact, any
physical exercise is good because it relieves stress and clears the mind."
"Anything else?"
"Meditation is good. And if during this whole process, you'd like to talk with me to sort out
your thoughts, you can contact me. But you must understand, Julian, this is on a strictly
professional basis. I can't say anything about Vicki Ann and what she has said or is feeling
or anything like that."
"I understand. Thank you very much, Deanna. Now, I think I'm going to take your advice.
I'm going for a hike."
"Sounds like a good idea, Julian."
Julian Bashir wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He realized that he
was out of breath. He sat down on a rock near the edge of the cliff and took a bottle of
water out of his backpack. The sun was setting over the ocean below. He was on top of
the rocky cliffs on the shore. The golden rays of the sun stretched across the
jade-colored water. Deanna was right. His head was totally clear. He stared at the sunset
for a few minutes. Then, he said to himself, "Okay, Julian. Time to get going." He stood
and reached for his backpack. It was caught on the edge of the rock. He tugged a little
harder. The backpack came loose, but he lost his balance. Julian screamed as he fell back
over the edge of the cliff. He managed to grab the edge, but the piece he held onto began
to crumble under his weight. As he fell to the now-black water below, his scream echoed
across the cliffs.
Julian walked out of the Holosuite, soaking wet and his clothes covered in blood. "What
happened to you?" Quark asked.
"I fell."
"Off a cliff?"
"Yes. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go to the infirmary."
"Good idea."
Julian ignored all the stares and walked to the infirmary. As he neared his destination, out
of the corner of his eye, he saw Vicki Ann sitting with Riker at the replimat. She saw him
and started to look away, but his appearance caught her attention. She stared at him as
he walked to the infirmary, her mouth open in shock. As he sat down on a biobed and fixed
his wounds, Deanna entered and came over to him.
"Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.
Julian laughed. "I just had a little accident in the Holosuite."
"Little? How's your thinking coming? Any progress?"
"The hike cleared my head. Until I fell off the cliff."
"You fell off a cliff? You're lucky you were able to walk in here."
"I landed in the ocean. I'm a pretty good swimmer."
"Good thing."
"Excuse me," someone said beside them.
Julian looked up and saw a man standing behind Deanna. The man was tall and was
wearing a Starfleet uniform with a red turtleneck and three pips on his collar. Julian smiled.
"I'm Dr. Bashir, how may I help you?"
The man returned the smile and reached out to shake Julian's hand. "Hello. I'm Commander
Alexander from the Goddard. I'm looking for Dr. Troi. I was told she was temporarily
assigned here." As soon as he'd mentioned Dr. Troi, Bashir's eyes narrowed and the doctor
looked him over. He began to feel uncomfortable. Finally, Bashir answered his question.
"She's not on duty at the moment. I believe she's at the replimat," Bashir replied.
Alexander nodded. "Thanks."
Deanna smiled at him as the man left. Then she turned to Julian. "Your mind is real clear,
Julian."
"What?"
"You should have seen the look you gave him when he mentioned Vicki Ann. If I were you,
I'd take a break. Maybe go back to the Holosuite to clear your mind again."
Julian sighed. "You're right. But, I think I need to get cleaned up first."
On the alternate Enterprise, Dr. Crusher was fixing Commander Riker's stab wound. "What
happened?" Picard asked Troi.
"I had just arrived as backup when one of the rebels ran up behind him and stabbed him.
We were outnumbered, so I left."
"Are you sure that's exactly what happened?" he asked her suspiciously.
Troi remained calm. "Yes."
"Sir, the Enterprise is matching our course to Time Planet. They're onto us," the helmsman
told the alternate Bashir.
"Damn. We've got to figure out a way to get them out of here. Keep intercepting those
messages," Bashir ordered.
Julian and Vicki Ann sat in the corner, where Julian was scanning her with a tricorder.
"Your nervous system is completely fried. You're lucky you're still conscious."
Vicki Ann tapped the side of her head. "My mind is as tough as they come."
"Your brain, maybe, but you know as well as I do that you can break."
"Don't remind me."
Julian sighed. "Vicki Ann, are you ever going to tell me what happened?"
"Do I have to?"
"If you ever want to see me again after we get home, yes."
"I hate when you play dirty. Well, let's see. They were waiting for me to come out of the
Guardian. Riker beamed down and pretended he was Will. Once I was on board, they took
me to the Agony Booth and drilled me for information. When I didn't tell them anything, the
other Deanna was ready to kill me, but Riker took a liking to me. Apparently, instead of
collecting fireflies in a jar, he collects women.
He keeps them in a small room in his quarters and beats them when they don't comply with
his wishes. I they continue to refuse, he kills them.
I refused him at first, but for some reason, he didn't want to kill me, or maybe he couldn't.
He gave me multiple chances to reconsider. Then, he threatened Will, Deanna and then
you. He said that if I didn't listen, you would have and accident. I refused, so he asked me
what I would do to keep you alive. I told him that I would do anything. I managed to
escape one morning while he was sleeping. I nailed him with a hypospray and pretended to
be one of Deanna's security people. Then, I was kidnaped by two rebels. I'm here, I'm fine,
end of story."
"Vicki Ann, you've been through hell ten times over, so don't even tell me that you're fine.
I know better."
"Julian-."
"Don't 'Julian' me! I'm tired of you pretending everything is fine when you're ready to
scream.. I'm not going to run to Starfleet or your parents and tell them that all your
Betazoid training went to waste and you lost control. You're not Vulcan, Vicki Ann. You
can express your emotions and no one will hold it against you."
She looked up at him, her face wet with tears.
Julian put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around
her as she cried on his shoulder.
"Oh, Julian, it was terrible. He was so horrible. He made my stomach turn. Every time he
touched me, I felt sick. I hated myself for betraying you, but at the same time, I knew
that I had to do it to save you. Julian, I'm so sorry."
Julian rubbed her back with his arm soothingly. "Sshh. It's all right, Vicki Ann. We'll get
through this."
Vicki Ann and Julian stepped through the Guardian. When they reached the other side,
they were on Deep Space Nine. Ezri ran up to them and embraced them both.
"Thank goodness you two are all right!" She turned to Julian. "Captain Sisko is going to
want to speak with you."
Julian nodded. "I suspected as much.."
Vicki Ann glanced at him. "Julian Bashir, what did you do?"
"I went after you without his permission."
"Julian!"
"Don't say it, Vicki Ann! Would you rather be stuck in that other universe?"
"No, but-."
"Then, keep your mouth shut."
"How would I feel about Vicki Ann- I mean, Dr. Troi joining my staff? That would be
wonder-." Julian stopped, quickly composed himself, while straightening his uniform. "I
mean- that would be fine."
Sisko held back a smile. "I didn't think it would be a problem.
The two of you work well together and manage to maintain a professional relationship
while on duty. I just need to ask her."
"Well, I'm sure she'll agree."
"I know, Julian, but I need to ask her personally. You may go and I'll speak to her."
Julian nodded. "Yes, sir."
Sisko tapped his comm badge. "Sisko to Dr. Troi. Please report to my office."
Vicki Ann was stunned. She knew that Starfleet wanted more doctors put on Julian's staff
since they were so near the wormhole, but she never imagined Sisko would ask her. It was
tempting, but she wanted to think about it. "Could I think about it and get back to you?"
Sisko nodded. "Under one condition. You assist in the infirmary until you make up your
mind."
Vicki Ann nodded. "That's fine. Is that all?"
"Yes, you may go."
Vicki Ann nodded and left.
Vicki Ann walked into Quark's and walked over to where Ezri was sitting at the bar.
"Tarkalian tea," she told Quark.
"Are you all right? You don't look so good," Ezri asked her.
Vicki Ann sighed. "Captain Sisko asked me to join Julian's staff."
"That's wonderful!" Ezri exclaimed. When she saw the lack of excitement on her friend's
face, she added, "Isn't it?"'
"I guess so."
"Why the lack of enthusiasm?"
"I don't know. I suppose I don't want to leave the Enterprise."
"Are you sure that's it?"
Vicki Ann looked at Ezri accusingly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with Julian?"
"Like what?"
"Fear of commitment, maybe?"
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"It was just a suggestion."
Vicki Ann sighed. "Maybe it does. After all, look at my track record. I keep making the
same mistakes over and over again, no matter how hard I try to avoid them."
"Are you saying that your relationship with Julian is a mistake?"
"I don't know."
"But Julian isn't abusive, controlling or in love with someone else."
"I know, but. . ."
"But what?"
"I just have a feeling that it's not meant to be for us." Vicki Ann sighed and ran her fingers
through her hair nervously. "I don't know what to do, Ezri."
Ezri put he arm on Vicki Ann's shoulder. "I think you need to talk with Julian about this."
Vicki Ann looked at Ezri. "You're right."
"Julian, we need to talk."
Julian had come back to his quarters after his shift in the infirmary and found Vicki Ann
sitting on the couch in the dark. After turning the lights on, he walked over and sat down
beside her. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"
"I said, we need to talk."
"Fine. Let's talk."
"Captain Sisko asked me today if I wanted to join your staff. I told him I needed to think
about it."
"What's there to think about?" Julian interrupted.
"There's a lot to think about, Julian!"
"Like what?"
"Us, for instance!"
"What about us?"
"My moving onto the station would be a big step for us. A step I'm not sure we're ready
for."
"What are you talking about?"
"Julian, I think we need to spend some time apart to figure out our feelings and determine
whether we're ready for this."
"Why, Vicki Ann?"
"To make sure that we're not making a mistake." Vicki Ann stood and grabbed her suitcase
off the bed. "I've arranged for separate quarters."
"It's nice to know you consulted me before making this decision," Julian replied, bitterly.
"I'm sorry, Julian, but we need to do this."
"Fine. If you feel that we need to do this, then so be it."
"You don't know how happy we are to see you," Deanna told Vicki Ann.
"You don't know how many times I've heard that in the past few days. I'm so glad that the
Enterprise is staying for a while. Captain Sisko asked me to work in the infirmary until I
make up my mind and I would rather not take time away from the Enterprise."
"Have you spoken to Julian lately?" Riker asked.
"No, I haven't. I've been working the night shift. I haven't even run into him yet."
Deanna stood. "I'm getting a drink." She went over to the bar.
She noticed Julian sitting beside her. "Hello, Julian. How are you doing?"
Julian smiled. "I'm all right. I have to admit, I'm not exactly happy with Vicki Ann's decision,
but I'm living with it."
Deanna frowned. "Julian, I really don't believe you're going to leave it at that. You're not
going to let the woman you think you love walk out of you life."
"You don't think I love her, do you?"
"I don't know what you want and I don't think that you do, either. I do think that you
need to do some serious soul searching so that you can figure it out."
"How do I do that?"
"I'd tell you to take a vacation, but considering the war, you're going to have to figure it
out for yourself. I can help you out, though. Here's a few hints. Try to avoid Vicki Ann and
hide anything in your quarters that reminds her. Spend some time alone. Maybe spend
some time in the Holosuites. A hike is usually good for serious thinking. In fact, any
physical exercise is good because it relieves stress and clears the mind."
"Anything else?"
"Meditation is good. And if during this whole process, you'd like to talk with me to sort out
your thoughts, you can contact me. But you must understand, Julian, this is on a strictly
professional basis. I can't say anything about Vicki Ann and what she has said or is feeling
or anything like that."
"I understand. Thank you very much, Deanna. Now, I think I'm going to take your advice.
I'm going for a hike."
"Sounds like a good idea, Julian."
Julian Bashir wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He realized that he
was out of breath. He sat down on a rock near the edge of the cliff and took a bottle of
water out of his backpack. The sun was setting over the ocean below. He was on top of
the rocky cliffs on the shore. The golden rays of the sun stretched across the
jade-colored water. Deanna was right. His head was totally clear. He stared at the sunset
for a few minutes. Then, he said to himself, "Okay, Julian. Time to get going." He stood
and reached for his backpack. It was caught on the edge of the rock. He tugged a little
harder. The backpack came loose, but he lost his balance. Julian screamed as he fell back
over the edge of the cliff. He managed to grab the edge, but the piece he held onto began
to crumble under his weight. As he fell to the now-black water below, his scream echoed
across the cliffs.
Julian walked out of the Holosuite, soaking wet and his clothes covered in blood. "What
happened to you?" Quark asked.
"I fell."
"Off a cliff?"
"Yes. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go to the infirmary."
"Good idea."
Julian ignored all the stares and walked to the infirmary. As he neared his destination, out
of the corner of his eye, he saw Vicki Ann sitting with Riker at the replimat. She saw him
and started to look away, but his appearance caught her attention. She stared at him as
he walked to the infirmary, her mouth open in shock. As he sat down on a biobed and fixed
his wounds, Deanna entered and came over to him.
"Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.
Julian laughed. "I just had a little accident in the Holosuite."
"Little? How's your thinking coming? Any progress?"
"The hike cleared my head. Until I fell off the cliff."
"You fell off a cliff? You're lucky you were able to walk in here."
"I landed in the ocean. I'm a pretty good swimmer."
"Good thing."
"Excuse me," someone said beside them.
Julian looked up and saw a man standing behind Deanna. The man was tall and was
wearing a Starfleet uniform with a red turtleneck and three pips on his collar. Julian smiled.
"I'm Dr. Bashir, how may I help you?"
The man returned the smile and reached out to shake Julian's hand. "Hello. I'm Commander
Alexander from the Goddard. I'm looking for Dr. Troi. I was told she was temporarily
assigned here." As soon as he'd mentioned Dr. Troi, Bashir's eyes narrowed and the doctor
looked him over. He began to feel uncomfortable. Finally, Bashir answered his question.
"She's not on duty at the moment. I believe she's at the replimat," Bashir replied.
Alexander nodded. "Thanks."
Deanna smiled at him as the man left. Then she turned to Julian. "Your mind is real clear,
Julian."
"What?"
"You should have seen the look you gave him when he mentioned Vicki Ann. If I were you,
I'd take a break. Maybe go back to the Holosuite to clear your mind again."
Julian sighed. "You're right. But, I think I need to get cleaned up first."