Chapter 24

Julian whistled to himself as he entered his quarters. "Computer, has Dr. Troi returned to
the station yet?"

"Dr. Troi has not returned to the station," was the reply.

Good, Julian thought to himself. That meant that he had some time to get things ready
before she got back. If he could just stay awake.

"Vicki Ann!" Ezri Dax yelled as Vicki Ann walked by Quarks. "Welcome back."

"I was only gone for a day," Vicki Ann replied.

Ezri nodded. Julian had asked her to keep Vicki Ann busy until 1900 hours. It was 1830. "I
know, but since you've been working the night shift, I haven't seen much of you."

"You're not the only one," Vicki Ann muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I haven't spent any time with Julian lately, except for meals. And since I have
tonight off, I wanted to spend it with him."

"Well, he's busy in the infirmary right now and he asked not to be disturbed. He told me to
keep you occupied until he was finished."

"Really? What's he working on?"

"I don't know. He didn't say. Come on, let's go play a game of darts."

"Ezri, I'm an absolute mess. I think I'm going to go back to my quarters and take a shower
before Julian's done in the infirmary. If you see him, tell him to come by my quarters when
he's finished."

Ezri smiled. That takes care of that. "Alright, I'll tell him."

Vicki Ann slipped into her bathrobe and walked out into the living room. A nice cup of tea
sounds good, she thought to herself. She got her tea and went over and sat down on the
bed. On her night table was a single red rose and a folded piece of paper. Smiling, she
opened the paper.

"Vicki Ann,
Meet me in my quarters at 1900 hours.
Julian"

Vicki Ann rang the chime for Julian's quarters. She'd decided on the short, red dress she'd
worn when she and Julian had gone to Vic's for the first time. The doors opened and
revealed Julian, wearing a crisp, ivory-colored silk shirt and tight black pants. He waved for
her to enter. As she did, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I love you
in this color," she said, fingering the material of his shirt.

"And I love you in that dress," Julian replied.

"I thought you would. So, what do you have planned for my only night off?"

Julian pointed to the dining room. "Oh. Nothing special. Just a nice candlelight dinner for
two. A little music. That's all."

Vicki Ann and Julian sat on the couch. The were finishing the champagne left from dinner
and Vicki Ann was telling him about her adventure with the children.

"I'll bet you're exhausted," Julian replied.

Vicki Ann nodded. "I am, but I'm determined to stay awake and spend some time with you.
It's going to be a while until I have another night off."

Julian nodded. "That's true. But, it wouldn't hurt you to relax for a little while. I wouldn't
be disappointed by a nice quiet evening just sitting here with you."

Vicki Ann smiled and slipped off her shoes. "That does sound nice, but I'm sure we can find
other things to occupy the time," she said as she curled up beside Julian on the couch.
She laid her head on his shoulder. "What happened in the infirmary today?" Vicki Ann
asked.

Julian began to tell her about the equipment malfunctions. A few minutes later, he turned
to her to ask her opinion about something.

He smiled when he saw that she was fast asleep. Julian picked her up, carried her into the
bedroom, and fell asleep beside her.

A few days later, Vicki Ann walked past Ops to Captain Sisko's office. She waved at Kira
and O'Brien and then entered the office. Sisko smiled at her from behind his desk. "You
wanted to speak to me?"

Sisko motioned to the chair in front of him. "Sit down." When Vicki Ann obeyed, he
continued. "How are you enjoying your work in the infirmary?"

Vicki Ann practically beamed. She loved working in medicine again. "It's wonderful. It's so
different from starship medicine, even from my work on the Goddard. Of course, I've been
working a lot of night shifts and those usually aren't too exciting."
Sisko nodded. "I can imagine. Although I'm sure Dr. Bashir would have a few stories about
exciting night shifts."

Vicki Ann smiled and nodded.

"The reason I asked you here was because Starfleet has asked me if I have added any
doctors to Julian's staff yet. In order to answer them, I need to ask you whether you've
decided to take the position."

Intense fear filled Vicki Ann. She could feel her pulse racing, the adrenaline pumping, her
body ready to run. But why? she asked herself. I can't possibly be afraid of Julian.
That's absolutely ridiculous! Julian is the sweetest, most gentle, most compassionate
person I've ever met. How can I be afraid of him? But I am. I'm afraid of staying here on
the station with him, permanently. Permanently. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of. She
remembered Sisko.

I can't answer him right now. I don't know what I want.

"Doctor, are you all right?" Sisko asked her, obviously concerned.

Vicki Ann took the chance to leave. "I'm not feeling very well."

Sisko stood. "Perhaps you should go to the infirmary."

Vicki Ann nodded. "That's a good idea," she said, weakly.

"Would you like me to walk you there?"

Vicki Ann shook her head. "No! No, I mean you're a very busy man. I'll be fine." She stood
and started for the door.

Sisko, confused, shook his head. "Alright, if you insist. Come see me when you're feeling
better and we'll talk about the position."

Vicki Ann nodded. As she left, her mind started racing again. She began to feel as if she
couldn't breathe. She ignored Kira and O'Brien this time and sprinted away from there. As
Vicki Ann ran by the infirmary, she noticed that Julian was there. Thank God. I couldn't
possibly deal with him right now. She continued running, right past a surprised Odo, until
she bumped into Ezri. "I'm sorry, Ezri. I'm just in a bit of a hurry."

Ezri laughed. "I can see that. Why are you in such a hurry?"

Vicki Ann searched her mind for an excuse. "Dr. Crusher needed some information from my
computer for a meeting today and I completely forgot. I'm on my way to send it right
now."

Ezri nodded. "Well, you'd better go before it's too late."

Vicki Ann nodded. "See you later," she said, waving, as she sprinted to the habitat ring.

Ezri shook her head as her friend ran away. Something wasn't right about her. She looked
almost frightened. Ezri shook her head. She's probably just upset that she forgot about
the information Dr. Crusher needed. Ezri pushed the thoughts into the back of her mind
and went on her way.

Vicki Ann closed the door to Julian's quarters behind her and leaned against the wall. She
let out a long, slow, sigh. She slid down the wall to the floor and put her face in her
hands. What am I going to do?

Julian Bashir saved his medical log and leaned back in his chair, smiling. He had finished all
of his work for the day and no one was there, except for his staff. He was considering
leaving early to spend some time with Vicki Ann before her shift. His thoughts were
interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Julian?"

He looked up. O'Brien was standing in front of him. Julian smiled. "Hello, Chief. What can I
do for you?"

O'Brien laughed. "You don't have to sound so formal. I was just wondering if you were free
for dinner tonight."

"Actually, I was thinking of leaving here a little early to spend some time with Vicki Ann
before her shift."

O'Brien nodded. "How is she feeling?"

Julian looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she had a meeting with the captain today and she looked kind of upset when she
left."

Julian shook his head. "I don't know. I haven't seen her since breakfast this morning."

O'Brien nodded. "Oh. Well, tell her hello. I'll see you later, Julian," he said before he left.

"I'll tell her," Julian called after his friend. He shook his head. I wonder what's going on and
why she never said anything to me. You would have thought that if something was wrong,
she would've come to me. Unless. . . . it had something to do with me. Maybe I'd better
go speak to the captain.

The door chimed in Captain Sisko's office. He told the person to come in and the doors
opened revealing Dr. Bashir. Sisko stood and walked over to him. "Hello, doctor," he said to
Julian. "How is Vicki Ann feeling?"

Julian looked confused. "What?"

"She became ill while she was in my office today. She said she was going to the infirmary.
Don't tell me she never showed up."

Julian shook his head. "No, she didn't."

Sisko, looking worried asked, "I hopes she's alright. You don't think she passed out
somewhere or something, do you?"

Julian shook his head and replied dryly, "No, I'm sure she's just fine." He took the sarcasm
out of his voice and asked, "May I ask what the two of you were discussing?"

Sisko nodded. "I was just asking her if she had decided whether to take the job on your
staff."

"What did she say?" Julian asked, although he had a feeling he already knew the answer.

"She became ill before she answered," Sisko replied.

"So I thought," Julian muttered.

"What did you say?" Sisko asked.

Julian shook his head. "Nothing," he replied. "I was just thinking out loud. That's all I
needed to know. Thank you, sir."

Sisko nodded. "You're welcome. Please tell Vicki Ann that I hope she's feeling better."

Julian replied, "I will." As he walked out of Sisko's office, he muttered, "She'd better be
sick, otherwise, she's got a lot of explaining to do."

Vicki Ann glanced around the room, checking to make sure she hadn't missed anything.
She then walked through the other room, making sure none of her things were still there.
None. Everything was packed.

She sighed and went to get her suitcase. I really should leave Julian a note or
something. No, better not to explain myself. I can make up some kind of excuse otherwise,
such as Captain Picard or Beverly needed me back on the Enterprise. If I write something
now, it would be too emotional. She heard the doors to the quarters open and she
sighed.

Great. Julian's back. Boy, have I got some explaining to do.

"Vicki Ann!" Julian called from the other room.

Uh-oh. He doesn't sound very happy, in fact, he sounds angry.
Vicki Ann let down her barriers a bit to check. I was right. He's mad. At me. She quickly
composed herself and went into the other room. "Yes?" she asked, perfectly normal.

"What happened today? Two people told me that you were ill or upset after meeting with
Sisko."

"Who told you that?"

"Miles saw you leave and he said you looked upset. Sisko said you became ill while in his
office."

"Oh," Vicki Ann replied, wringing her hands.

"Well, which was it? Were you upset or sick?"

"I-I- I got sick. I skipped lunch and you know I don't eat much for breakfast. I came back
here and got something to eat and I was fine."

Julian didn't look convinced. "Are you sure that's all?"

"Yes."

Julian smiled. "Good. I'm glad you're feeling better. I thought we could have a nice quiet
dinner here and spend some time together before your shift." He started to walk into the
bedroom.

Vicki Ann ran in front of him. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"

Julian replied, "Everything's done. There's nothing to do. No one needs me today."

"Are you sure? Shouldn't you be there just in case?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Julian teased.

"No," Vicki Ann replied quickly. "No, I just wanted to make sure it was alright."

Julian nodded and walked past her into the bedroom.

Vicki Ann searched her mind for an excuse to stop him. She found nothing. Besides, it was
too late.

"Vicki Ann," Julian said.

He sounded rather calm. She was surprised. "What?"

"Come here," he replied, rather forcefully.

She slowly walked into the bedroom. "Yes?"

"What's this?" he asked, pointing to the suitcase. "Why are your things packed?"

I guess now is as good as any time to tell him, Vicki Ann thought to herself. She picked up
her suitcase. "I'm leaving."

"What?" Julian asked, shocked.

"I'm leaving," she repeated.

"Why?"

"I can't do this," she replied, her eyes swelling with tears.

"You can't do what?"

"I can't take the job on your staff. I can't stay here."

"Why? You said you loved the station. You also said you loved working in medicine
again." He went over to her. "What's wrong?"

She pulled away from him. "I told you I can't do this."

"But you said-."

"I know what I said! And I meant it. I do love the station and I do love working in medicine
again, but I'm not ready for what comes with the job."

"And what is that?"

"You."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not ready to stay here with you permanently."

Julian was hurt, but he tried to make things better. "We could get you separate quarters."

Vicki Ann shook her head. "And how long would that go on? Forever? No, Julian. I think it's
best if I go back to the Enterprise."

"No, Vicki Ann. We can get through this. Just like we did everything else."

"I need some time, Julian. Some time away from you. I can't do that here."

Julian's jaw clenched. "Fine. You take all the time you need.
You can take eternity for all I care!" he said, bitterly, turning away from her.

Vicki Ann hesitated, not knowing whether she should leave or try to straighten things out
with Julian.

Julian turned to her and screamed, "Go!"

Vicki Ann nodded, the tears falling at warp speed, and left.

After Vicki Ann left Julian's quarters, she composed herself and wiped the tears off her
face. She went to Sisko's office. "May I speak to you for a moment, Captain?

"Sure. Sit down," Sisko replied.

Vicki Ann shook her head. "No, thank you. I can only stay a minute. I just came to tell you
that I can't take the position on Julian's staff. I'm going back to the Enterprise."

Sisko noticed that her eyes were red, probably from crying.
Perhaps she and Julian broke up. he thought to himself. "Alright. Thank you for telling
me. When are you leaving?"

"I spoke to the captain of the Hyde. They're willing to take me to meet the Enterprise on
their way to Earth."

Sisko nodded. "Very well." He stood and walked over to her. "It's been a pleasure having
you on the station and I hope you'll come back and visit us again," he said, reaching out
to shake her hand.

Vicki Ann smiled and shook his hand. And although she doubted if she would be coming
back, she said, "I will. Goodbye, captain."

"Have a safe trip."

"Thank you, sir." She turned and left the office. As she neared the turbolift, Kira stepped
out.

"Hello, Vicki Ann." She noticed the luggage and added. "What's going on, you're not
leaving, are you?"

Vicki Ann nodded sadly. "It's time for me to go back to the Enterprise. Dr. Crusher has
asked me to return since the Enterprise has entered the war."

"I take it you've decided not to take the position here." When Vicki Ann nodded, Kira
asked, "Why not?"

Kira noticed her new friend's hesitation. "Did something happen between you and Julian?"

Vicki Ann nodded. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it."

"That's alright. I'm not Ezri. I won't make you talk about it. But, if you ever want to. . ."

"Maybe one day, but not now."

Kira smiled and patted her on the arm. "Have a safe trip. And when you end up in battle,
please stay in sickbay. And stay alive."

"Yes, sir," Vicki Ann replied, smiling and saluting. "It's time for me to go."

"Goodbye, Vicki Ann. And good luck."

"You, too. Goodbye, Kira."

"Nerys. Call me Nerys."

"Goodbye, Nerys."

As Vicki Ann passed by Ops, O'Brien asked, "Are you leaving the station, Doctor?"

Vicki Ann smiled at him, although she didn't feel like smiling.
"Yes. I'm going back to the Enterprise."

O'Brien returned the smile. "Well, goodbye. And tell everyone hello when you get back."

"I will. Goodbye, Chief." She walked to the docking ring. On her way, she ran into Ezri.

"Where are you going?" Ezri asked.

"I'm going back to the Enterprise."

"Why? You were so happy here, being with Julian and working in medicine again. What
happened?"

"It's a long story, Ezri and I really don't feel like going into it right now."

"Don't worry, I think I know what it is. It's the fear of commitment thing again, isn't it?"

Vicki Ann nodded.

"You know, Vicki Ann. This is the worst thing you can do. You have to face your fears and
deal with them, not run away from them. This could be the biggest mistake of your life."

"I know that Ezri, but for some reason, this feels right. I have to do this, Ezri."

Ezri nodded sadly. "Alright. It's your decision." She hugged her friend. "We'll miss you,
especially me. It was nice having you around."

"I'll miss you too, Ezri. I'm sorry, but I have to leave now, or I'll miss my ride."

"Bye, Vicki Ann."

"Bye, Ezri." Vicki Ann turned away, hiding her tears, as she continued to the docking ring.

The End of part two

To be continued in part three. . .
--
May the real muses guide you and sprinkle you with magic writing dust:-)

Meghan Elizabeth

Visit my site:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~meghanelizabeth/

Need a beta reader? Visit the Muses Sector at:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/1481/