Chapter Six: Loss of Faith.
Neville thanked Hagrid for sorting out the travel arrangements. Hagrid nodded. They had not talked the entire journey in the horseless carriage, but as the small hospice loomed, Hagrid finally let the curiosity get the better of him.
"That was a nasty bit of work ye did on Malfoy. Can't say I approve, you understand, but I'd like to know where ya picked up that wee spell? You could be arrested for using that one ye know."
Neville shrugged. "When your mum and dad have been in a coma since you were a kid because of some Death Eater using a Cruciatus spell, I guess you sort of let yourself learn it, understand it and try and use it to get back at the bastards who did it to them."
"Well, thats me told now isn't it?" sneered Hagrid a stunned few seconds.
Neville stared out of the window uncomfortably. Hagrid let the remark go.
"Come on Neville. Resorting to using the bloody spell is not an answer is it? You're lucky Dumbledore and Moody think you're worth the bloody effort." blustered Hagrid.
"Am I worth it though?" whispered Neville.
"What? Aw, don't be so wet boy!"
"No seriously Hagrid. What's the point of Hogwarts for a squib like me, eh?", trembled Neville.
"Don't be daft boy. Look, your mum and dad are relying on you to be strong for them. Come on now, don't let them down. Not now?"
Hagrid voice became a gentle whisper. "And Malfoy would have had you beat if you quit, you realise." Hagrid smiled, and Neville gritted his teeth.
"Yeah. Cheers Hagrid." Neville smiled. "My mind's, you know..."
"Hey, it's ok Nev. I understand. Just don't do anything rash. Okay?"
"Like Ginny almost did..." mumbled Neville.
"Aye. Silly wee kid that. Needs looking after if you ask me." Neville caught Hagrid's eye. "But ye didn't ask did ye, so I'll mind me own business shall I? Ah right, well, we're here Neville." blurted Hagrid, avoiding his gaze.
Neville was left alone in his parents room. They had not moved or reacted in years. He kissed each of them on the forehead. A nurse sat in the corner smiled at Neville. "You father's heart seems settled now. It may be nothing, but even though it is a step backwards, it proves your father is still in there, and still fighting Neville. He should be ok."
"But for how long Hattie?"
Hattie laid her hand on Neville's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I'll leave you alone with them. You need anything Neville, you just call me ok?"
Neville nodded politely and the nurse retreated discreetly into the waiting room to catch up on the latest gossip with Hagrid.
Neville kissed his mother's hand and kissed the children's storybook on the bedside table. The book was half-finished and long ago Neville had promised that he would only hear how it ended from his mother's own lips. He prayed that day would eventually come, but nowadays, he felt his faith slipping.
"Hiya mum and dad. Well, what have I been up to? I've been dancing with this wonderful woman called Ginny. Oh, mum. Dad. She is wonderful. And kind."
Neville gasped for breath. Suddenly he felt very vunerable. "And I love her." he confessed at last.
Tears streamed down his face and he could not go on. Neville collapsed to his knees as he imagined Ginny in Harry's arms, embraced in a passionate kiss. They were laughing at him, he knew it.
Neville sat there shaking miserably. "Mum. Dad. I've let you down. I've let you both down... Please come back and help me! I don't know what to do! I don't know!" he bawled.
Hattie and Hagrid came into the room and scooped up Neville's weeping and screaming form.
They tried to re-assure him and Hattie hugged Neville tightly until Neville calmed down again.
Neville was shivering and confused. Hagrid picked him up and carried him to a bed made up for him by Hattie. Neville was undressed and wrapped up warm. Hattie ensured Neville drank a warm, milky drink which Neville immediately recognised as being an infusion of Narcole-Pippa seeds and cinnamon in warm milk - a powerful sedative. Smiling at his knowledge of this, he wished Snape was here to witness it too. For once, he might have even earned Gryffindor a few points!
Neville slept for for a full sixteen hours. Those sixteen hours he spent with his parents, laughing and being part of a family again.
Neville thanked Hagrid for sorting out the travel arrangements. Hagrid nodded. They had not talked the entire journey in the horseless carriage, but as the small hospice loomed, Hagrid finally let the curiosity get the better of him.
"That was a nasty bit of work ye did on Malfoy. Can't say I approve, you understand, but I'd like to know where ya picked up that wee spell? You could be arrested for using that one ye know."
Neville shrugged. "When your mum and dad have been in a coma since you were a kid because of some Death Eater using a Cruciatus spell, I guess you sort of let yourself learn it, understand it and try and use it to get back at the bastards who did it to them."
"Well, thats me told now isn't it?" sneered Hagrid a stunned few seconds.
Neville stared out of the window uncomfortably. Hagrid let the remark go.
"Come on Neville. Resorting to using the bloody spell is not an answer is it? You're lucky Dumbledore and Moody think you're worth the bloody effort." blustered Hagrid.
"Am I worth it though?" whispered Neville.
"What? Aw, don't be so wet boy!"
"No seriously Hagrid. What's the point of Hogwarts for a squib like me, eh?", trembled Neville.
"Don't be daft boy. Look, your mum and dad are relying on you to be strong for them. Come on now, don't let them down. Not now?"
Hagrid voice became a gentle whisper. "And Malfoy would have had you beat if you quit, you realise." Hagrid smiled, and Neville gritted his teeth.
"Yeah. Cheers Hagrid." Neville smiled. "My mind's, you know..."
"Hey, it's ok Nev. I understand. Just don't do anything rash. Okay?"
"Like Ginny almost did..." mumbled Neville.
"Aye. Silly wee kid that. Needs looking after if you ask me." Neville caught Hagrid's eye. "But ye didn't ask did ye, so I'll mind me own business shall I? Ah right, well, we're here Neville." blurted Hagrid, avoiding his gaze.
Neville was left alone in his parents room. They had not moved or reacted in years. He kissed each of them on the forehead. A nurse sat in the corner smiled at Neville. "You father's heart seems settled now. It may be nothing, but even though it is a step backwards, it proves your father is still in there, and still fighting Neville. He should be ok."
"But for how long Hattie?"
Hattie laid her hand on Neville's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I'll leave you alone with them. You need anything Neville, you just call me ok?"
Neville nodded politely and the nurse retreated discreetly into the waiting room to catch up on the latest gossip with Hagrid.
Neville kissed his mother's hand and kissed the children's storybook on the bedside table. The book was half-finished and long ago Neville had promised that he would only hear how it ended from his mother's own lips. He prayed that day would eventually come, but nowadays, he felt his faith slipping.
"Hiya mum and dad. Well, what have I been up to? I've been dancing with this wonderful woman called Ginny. Oh, mum. Dad. She is wonderful. And kind."
Neville gasped for breath. Suddenly he felt very vunerable. "And I love her." he confessed at last.
Tears streamed down his face and he could not go on. Neville collapsed to his knees as he imagined Ginny in Harry's arms, embraced in a passionate kiss. They were laughing at him, he knew it.
Neville sat there shaking miserably. "Mum. Dad. I've let you down. I've let you both down... Please come back and help me! I don't know what to do! I don't know!" he bawled.
Hattie and Hagrid came into the room and scooped up Neville's weeping and screaming form.
They tried to re-assure him and Hattie hugged Neville tightly until Neville calmed down again.
Neville was shivering and confused. Hagrid picked him up and carried him to a bed made up for him by Hattie. Neville was undressed and wrapped up warm. Hattie ensured Neville drank a warm, milky drink which Neville immediately recognised as being an infusion of Narcole-Pippa seeds and cinnamon in warm milk - a powerful sedative. Smiling at his knowledge of this, he wished Snape was here to witness it too. For once, he might have even earned Gryffindor a few points!
Neville slept for for a full sixteen hours. Those sixteen hours he spent with his parents, laughing and being part of a family again.