Under his Spell: the Last Morning
By Cybaster
* * *
Author's Note: Don't know why I ended up
writing this, but I somehow felt that there had to be more to 'Under his
Spell'. Somehow, I felt that there should've been an ending piece to it to, well,
to put it as non-depressingly as possible, 'wrap it up'. Well, the 'trigger'
for this, I guess, is watching 'Armageddon' again and hearing Aerosmith's
ending song...and feeling the song was oddly appropriate for the general story,
so here it is. The 'The Last Morning' module takes place right at the end of
'Under his Spell', after where Morwen's diary left off; might wanna read it
first, if you haven't already, to see if you can stand it...=(
Again,
a word of warning: may be kinda fluffy at the start, but it does get pretty
(make that *very*...) sombre at the end. Sorry. Still, hope you manage to enjoy
it...and blame my inexperienced muse, whatever form it took, for trying to
write a full-fledged songfic. ("Down, Willy! Down!" =) And do give me feedback,
okay? Pretty please?
--Cybaster
"Believe in the Sign of Zeta!!!"
Disclaimer: Morwen, Telemain and the Enchanted Forest
world are created by Patricia C. Wrede and Scholastic Books. The song used for
this story is 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing' by Aerosmith, and can be found in
the 'Armageddon' soundtrack.
* * *
I could stay awake just to hear you breathin'
Watch you smile while you are sleepin'
While
you're faraway and dreamin'...
With a weak yet very much content smile, Telemain finally fell asleep and resigned his voice to the night outside his room. Despite the burning redness of his skin and the feverish heat his body seemed to give off, his slumber seemed peaceful enough and bore neither the sign of the suffering he had felt the days before nor the nightmares that plagued him at the nights that followed. In fact, his dreams seemed almost pleasant; looking from his bedside, Telemain didn't look like a person who was about to die and had only this last night in the world he lived in. In fact, contrary to most, the house in which he lived with his wife, Morwen, didn't bear the gloomy, grieving aura about it as was supposed to for such a case.
But Telemain was dying, and this would be his last morning to live. And Morwen, who sat loyally by his bedside, knew that to be true. She had known Telemain was sick the moment he became sick, fought to save him, and stayed by his side all that time to do what she could. All were to no avail, and she was going to lose him. She wasn't going to merely let Telemain leave her, however; She was at least going to stay by him, awake for the man she had known throughout her life and married out of love, and when the time came Morwen was going to say goodbye to him.
Morwen hadn't slept much at all in the past few days, either trying to save him or come to terms with his imminent passing. Save him she didn't; she did manage to do the latter, though, and realized exactly that she married Telemain for the right reasons. She missed him dearly and felt sad for her loss, but although they've been married for four years, it was only recently that Morwen really began to question why exactly she married him, and it was only that night that she was sure of the reasons. She had indeed loved him, and she had cried for him. And because of that love, Morwen wasn't about to leave Telemain before his time, and would presevere.
She hadn't slept much and she felt immensely tired, but Morwen somehow kept awake, finding the strength somewhere within her to stay up. Her fatigue meant nothing to her anymore, at least for that night alone. All that mattered was staying by Telemain. Morwen held his hand tightly, as if to guide him to his last morning so he wouldn't get lost, and she looked upon him as if she was only bidding farewell to Telemain for leaving on a trip. She would do that, even though the truth was far from that.
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I
could stay lost in this moment
Forever...
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure...
Morwen wished that time would stop now, although if it could stop she would've stopped it a long time ago. If it did, Telemain would never leave her, and then for perhaps all eternity they would be together again and all would be well again. She wanted to believe it, but she knew it was ludicrous at best --- time never stopped for anyone. And Telemain's was running out soon. While she still had the time, Morwen would savour it and Telemain being there beside her while he still was. It was the only thing she could do now, and it was the only thing she would.
If only Morwen had done that then, it would've made this day a little easier...but Morwen knew already that it was much too late for wishful thinking.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I
don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause
I'd miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The
sweetest dream would never do
I'd
still miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing...
There would never be another Telemain, Morwen resigned to herself. She would never grow up with him like she did before, fight alongside him, marry him. Fall in love with him. When Telemain finally left, Morwen would be alone. She would never feel for anybody else what she had felt for Telemain ever again, much less in the same way. After Telemain died, Morwen would always miss him, no matter what happens, and she would always blame herself for not treasuring what she shared with Telemain until it was too late for either of them when the day she would look back on this day and cry again would come.
Morwen's body began to ache from sitting in the same seat for the entire day, and unable to think of anything else but Telemain she dully ignored it. The greater pain of losing him may leave her in time, be softened by staying there for him, but Morwen would never forget Telemain. She would always love him at least a bit.
Lyin' close to you, feelin' your heart beatin'
And
I'm wonderin' what you're dreamin'
Wonderin' if it's me you're seein'?
Finally unable to sit upright any longer, Morwen bent down sideways and placed her head on Telemain's chest, her eyes a bit watery and her ginger hair messy, looking wistfully at the sleeping Telemain behind her glasses. There she could feel his heartbeat and hear him breathe; he had long stopped snoring, perhaps out of energy to even do that, and she could feel both slowly weaken away, like the fluttering wings of a dying bird. And yet Telemain still managed to look serene in his slumber, and Morwen sighed.
Then I kiss your eyes, and thank God we're together
I just
wanna stay with you
In this
moment forever,
Forever and ever...
Is Telemain even dreaming anymore? And if he is, did he dream of her? It didn't matter to Morwen, as long as it didn't disturb his last morning by her side. All their past adventures and in their past youths she had always had to take care of Telemain --- or bail him out of embarassing situations --- more than once in a while now. Telemain's own well-being had always mattered to her, and Morwen liked making sure he didn't get into trouble. In fact, she vowed to do that when they got married. All of the past memories were going to naught now, but Morwen felt now that they were worth it. She would've married no other man, since she had the choice.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I
don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause
I'd miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The
sweetest dream would never do
I'd
still miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing...
Her grip on Telemain tightened even more. Morwen had accepted the fact of his imminent passing, but a part of her still wished it didn't have to happen, and she certainly wasn't cheering for it, either. It was still difficult to let him go. It still hurt her to think of living her life without him. But she didn't have a choice.
A few stray strands of light began flying through the window, and Morwen's heart nearly stopped. It was morning.
I don't wanna miss one smile
I
don't wanna miss one kiss
I just
wanna be with you, right here with you,
Just like this
It was morning. To Morwen, it meant that Telemain was finally leaving. The morning came, and Morwen wished it didn't, as if her willpower alone would force the sun back down. But more and more light shone on them, and Morwen began to feel desperate, all previous preparation for this moment having been forgotten completely. Her whole body shivered, and it took Morwen tremendous effort to hold back either from sleeping or from shedding her tears again. In vain, Morwen tried to recompose herself, to remain calm, but it took more and more mental effort as the fear of losing Telemain came back to her full scale.
And it was then that Telemain's eyes slowly fluttered open.
I
just wanna hold you close
And
feel your heart so close to mine,
And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time...
Telemain was awake and alive still, but he might as well had not been. In contrast to the bright red he had exhibited over the past few days he was now deathly pale and his body growing cold despite the amount of sweat he had built up on his forehead from this morning and last night. His body, too, was shaking, as if it was taking him whatever he had left to even stay focused on Morwen, and while his eyes still seemed only a bit vibrant, their gaze lost the usually inquisitive and sometimes imposing look he had. Seeing Telemain awake, Morwen then remembered what she had promised to do and her calm managed to forcefully return. She stood there, eyes focused intently on her husband, having lots to tell him and not nearly enough time.
"Good...morning, d...darling." Telemain whispered, although no words could be heard.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I
don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause
I'd miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing...
Morwen heard the words perfectly, and gave Telemain a small wry, forced smile in return. It was time, Morwen knew too well, and soon they would part. But for Telemain in his last moments, she would remain calm for him. Finding the remaining strength, Morwen leaned forward a bit more and without another word, they melted into a long overdue kiss. "Good morning, Telemain. I'm here now." Morwen whispered.
'Cause even when I dream of you
The
sweetest dream would never do
I'd
still miss you, baby,
And I
don't wanna miss a thing...
It wasn't their first kiss, by any means, but it was certainly the last. As Morwen and Telemain relished in the kiss, Telemain's heart finally stopped and he felt nothing anymore. Morwen pulled away from the unfinished kiss and struggled with her sadness. Tears flowed freely out of her eyes.
Telemain had finally left her.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I
don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause
I'd miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The
sweetest dream would never do
I'd
still miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing...
"...Goodbye, beloved."
And with that farewell, Morwen slowly fell back onto Telemain's body and sobbed her grief.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I
don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause
I'd miss you, baby,
And I don't wanna miss a thing...
On the last morning that Telemain lived, Morwen cried herself to sleep.
* * *
Afterword: ...Waaahhh! Someone kill me if I'm being too
depressing, okay? If you didn't like it, my sincere apologies...I'm not psycho
or anything (hopefully!), and I don't mean anything, and this is just a story,
and I won't be touching on it again (thankfully!), and...you get the idea,
right? Well...time to write something at least a bit happier, I guess, so when
I do put another story up, hopefully it's more cheerful. Gomen, and hope those
of you who got here actually liked it, and goodnight!