Dedication: This story *has* to be dedicated to Kate, fellow Tai lover and Michi supporter. ^ ^
A/N Well, what can I say people? This is in Tai's POV, of course. ^ ^ Problem is that I don't think its as good as I expected it to be. *sigh* Well hope you enjoy it, so make sure to read and review. I need your opinion about this one. Oh and I suggest you read 'Will It Ever Be?' and 'My Knight in Shining Armor' in that order, before you read this one. It might be a little confusing if you don't. ^ ^;
Happen To Share A Glance
I gazed over the sleeping forms of my friends and I just let out a huge sigh. Sometimes there is just too much pressure for one kid to handle. I mean come on! A 14 year old kid worrying about saving not one, but two worlds… That can just be a little intense.
But… What can I do about it? Just walk away and expect millions of lives to be instantly saved just like that? I've always said that we should work together as a team, so what right do I have to just blow it off?
I'm the leader. I'm supposed to be strong, confident, to make it less hard on the others. The cheery front I put up everyday just gets harder to maintain as the minutes tick by.
Nevertheless, this is me. This is what they expect of me. This is what they want from me. Why not make their days a bit more desirable? At least it'll make them happy. Even though I believe that, maybe I too, deserve a little bit of happiness… but that's just being selfish. Thinking about myself when I needed to think about others.
I shook my head, to free my head of my jumbled thoughts.
'Gawd… I really need to get some sleep,' I thought as I stifled a yawn and scratched my head sleepily. ' But just remember Tai, just a couple of minutes and then your shift will be over… I don't think I can even last that long.'
Again I averted my eyes towards the fire as I blinked back sleepily and stretched my arms and legs from the sitting position I was presently in.
There was just something about the flickering flames of the fire that enthralled me. Something that just draws me in among the orange, yellow and all the colours in between. I could almost feel my life passing past my very eyes as feeling and thoughts that were buried deep are brought back to the surface, into the light.
There was just something about a fire that brings things into focus, in perspective…so it can find another way to screw up my life and managed to get me to mess up yet again.
I managed to avert my eyes from the almost hypnotizing flames and held my eyes shut with all the force I could muster.
"I just hate myself so much. Why can I never do things right? Why can't I even tell her how I feel?"
A cold wind blew past me, mirroring the icy shill that blew through my soul until it became unbearable. I couldn't hold down the shudder that went through my hold body. As I wrapped my arms around my body, to attempt to protect me from the chill, I opened my eyes and found them fixed on the night sky. As a handful of stars twinkled faintly offering their dim own dim hope, I let out a bitter laugh that surprised even me.
Fingering the chain that held the bronze tag, I muttered to myself harshly. "The Crest of Courage…That's just perfect. Like I actually deserve it. I can't even look at her without feeling weak in the knees?"
My eyes quickly fell upon and accounted each figure around the campfire until it fell on the beautiful form of the girl of his dreams.
'How can I actually manage to say the things I long to say to say to you and only you? How can I actually believe that someone like you is interested in me? Ha! Some joke. But then, why can't I stop thinking there is a slight chance that we can actually be together?' I thought wistfully as I studied her features and carved them in my mind.
"She has just the most beautiful face," I murmured softly, willing myself to not just reach over and stroke my fingers over her closed eyes; her pink tinted lips… I couldn't resist but give her a soft kiss. I stifled a yelp as the kiss tingled on my own lips and I turned away from her.
"Too bad I can only kiss her when she's asleep," the words slipped out out of my mouth, before I had a chance to realize its full meaning. "No time to regret something that's just ridiculous to think about." I said with a sigh that escaped my parted lips.
For some reason, I was inclined to tip my head and look at the stars, and to my surprise I spotted a shooting star that streaked across the sky, with such magnificence and grace. I knew it was childish, but still, you never know, can you?
I closed my eyes and uttered my wish. "If it can never be, can we at least happen to share a glance?"
To be Continued . . .