MATILDA: diary of a cleaner
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By: Scott D. Halfacre
Copyright 2000
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The character of Matilda appeared in the movie THE PROFESSIONAL. She was a child and played by Natalie Portman. I have taken her into the future and made her what she wanted to be. Forget La Femme Nikita… Matilda is the true cleaner.
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Entry Two
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Teddy enters the room, just as I'm pulling the carcass of a cop through the window and John is now standing under his own power.
"Jesus H. Christ." Teddy mutters under his ragged breath, it was only a flight of stairs but he's not exactly in shape either.
The body hits the floor with an audible thump and I can see blood leaking onto the terrazzo floor.
"John, what the fuck is going on?" Teddy lays the gun he brought in here on the coffee table and sets John into the couch.
"The bloke shot me, what the bloody hell does it look like?"
"It looks like I have yet another dead body to dispose of thanks to you." Teddy tells him in between puffs of air.
"Matilda will get rid of it." John's voice is raspy and low.
"Me?!" I'm shocked to say the least.
I've never had to deal with a dead body, least of all the dead body of a cop.
"Matty doesn't need to do it. I can call Geoff again." Teddy stands and walks toward the cop and me.
"Geoff practically cost me my job last time Ted." John's chalkboard voice has lost a couple of the nails sliding down it.
"He was doing his job--" Teddy gets his words cut off by John.
"No." John says with a wave of his left hand. "Matilda will handle it."
I know I don't have a say in this. "I don't suppose I have a say in--"
John interrupts me too. "Follow Teddy, get some plastic, the keys to his car, and hydrochloric acid."
I knew I wouldn't get a say in this.
"C'mon Matty," Teddy rubs my head, "Let's get you what you need."
Teddy is heading out the door and John is walking toward the sub lying on the floor by the front door.
Shit, I guess I dropped it when I came in.
"Buy me another while you're out Matilda." John gives me a hard look.
I hide what's in my hand - I don't think John saw me - and tuck the .22 in my jeans and follow Teddy out.
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"You gotta find another line of work kid." Teddy hands me his car keys.
"I'm a cleaner." My lower lip pushes its way out again.
"In more ways than one Matty," Teddy smirks at me, "More ways than one."
The keys he gave me have three keys on the key ring, but that isn't what has me disgusted; it's the ring itself. The key ring is a naked woman with abnormal looking breasts - meaning big ass fake tits - and wings and a halo; it's from some strip club near here. On the back of the naked figure is the words "Heavenly Honey's."
I think I'm going to be ill.
"It's all I had to put them on?" Teddy tries to say it, but it comes out more like a question. He's trying to see if I'll buy that explanation.
"No sale." I wink at Teddy and am out the back door headed to Teddy's car.
A black Chevy Blazer, about five years old; not that you could tell by looking at it. Teddy has kept it in great condition.
Teddy helped me load the body into the bag and then into the back of the truck; also four canisters of the acid are back there too and the gas mask I'll need to deal with this stuff.
Ick.
I can't wait till I'm an official cleaner and don't have to go through with crap like this.
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"No pickles?" Josh says to me.
"Leave them on."
Serves John right for sending me out for another. There was nothing wrong with the last one, I just dropped the bag. It was still wrapped and everything, he just likes to show his authority for some reason.
"Hungry today?" Josh does that smile of his.
"Not if you've been doing what I've been doing." I wipe some sweat from my brow.
"Hard day always makes me hungry."
Give me an effing break. The kid is working at a Subway, and I just had to dispose of a body of a cop with acid. You tell me who's having a "hard day."
"Four thirty." Josh tells me.
So much for the free food, I guess I should have taken him up on that offer for tonight.
I pull out the wallet I lifted from the cop's body and open it to pay Josh.
I hid the fact that I stole the wallet, John would tell me how unprofessional it was to keep it. Like someone would ever--
"You a cop?" Josh smirks looking at the wallet.
Fuck.
Matilda