Amidst The Differences, by Rhysenn


Amidst The Differences


Remus sat alone in his office, one eye absently watching the clock, patiently waiting.

What was he waiting for? he asked himself distractedly, his slender legs propped up on the table, a book lying forgotten on his lap. It occurred to him that he spent a great deal of his life just waiting aimlessly, not thinking about what he was expecting, not knowing what he hoped would come. And after endless wearisome hours with nothing but the faint whisper of a formless yearning, Remus was tired of waiting.

A sharp tapping on the door jerked Remus back to the present. "Come in," he called.

The door cautiously creaked open, and in stepped Severus Snape, a smoking goblet clutched in his right hand. Remus calmly appraised his colleague with a sweeping glance, taking in the dark, impenetrable expression masking Severus' angular face. Severus' level gaze gave away nothing, but Remus' honed instincts sensed the briefest flicker of an ambiguous emotion cross the other man's piercing black eyes.

"Your potion, Lupin," Severus said shortly, advancing several steps forward and placing the goblet on the table. Remus eyed it with obvious dislike — he knew that more wolfsbane than normal was added in that night's potion, since the full moon coincided with the Chinese lunar festival and promised to ride the nightsky more bright and luminous than usual.

"Thank you, Severus." Remus' voice was subdued and fatigued, mirroring the way he felt deep inside, which he knew had absolutely nothing to do with physical exhaustion. He gave Severus a half-smile, expecting the other man to turn and take his leave.

Severus stayed where he was. "The potion is much stronger than usual tonight, I'm not sure whether your system can take it all at once." That same strange emotion again found form in Severus' voice, and Remus couldn't help noticing that it was much akin to... concern?

Remus raised his weary eyes, which shone like pale, tarnished sapphires in the dim light. "Well," he quipped feebly, "if you don't see me around tomorrow, that means you won't have to brew this troublesome potion any more."

Severus didn't laugh, and his eyes clouded with anxiety. "Remus—" he paused suddenly, as if somewhat embarrassed as the personal address. He took a deep breath, then continued. "I'm serious, be careful. Drink the potion in small quantities at a time. If you consume it all at once, the concentration of wolfsbane might cross your threshold of tolerance, and it'll hurt quite badly."

"All right." Remus sighed, casting another reproachful glance at the smouldering goblet. "Thank you for the advice, Severus." His words were quietly sincere.

Severus still didn't move. "Would you like me to stay with you awhile, to make sure everything's all right?" he asked, a shadow of warmth melting his ebony gaze as he looked directly at Remus.

Remus' eyes flickered up in surprise. It took a moment for Severus' startling offer to sink in, and another moment for Remus to realise that the soft words "Yes, I'd like that" had subconsciously escaped from his own lips without him thinking.

Severus smiled, the most heartfelt, genuine smile he could remember giving in ages. He boldly took two steps forward, settling comfortably on a worn sofa set adjacent to Remus' table. Severus allowed himself a stolen glance at the other man, taking in the graceful, almost feline manner that Remus' body curled itself in his shabby armchair, the tension laced with tiredness knotted under his skin as he gradually gave way to the imminent rise of the werewolf within him.

Remus said nothing as he took intermittent sips of the frothing concoction, pausing and shuddering now and then as the potion slid down his throat like a knife of flames. All the while, Severus sat placidly on the sofa, not saying a word, simply watching him, a certain tranquility in his eyes.

He didn't move when Remus dropped to his hands and knees, writhing as the transformation took over him. He didn't flinch as Remus' body twisted and torqued under the baleful influence of the moonlight filtering in through the window. And he didn't back away when the werewolf reared its head, growling softly in its throat, fixing him with a pointed, almost distrusting gaze.

Severus looked at the werewolf as it paced restlessly in the office. He felt no fear, no terror as the werewolf warily approached him, and he felt nothing but tenderness as he reached out to stroke its head, the smooth, flaxen fur like silk under his palm. The werewolf dodged away from his touch initially, but gradually held still as Severus caressed it's head, allowing his fingers to brush the pointed, furry ears and comb through the coarser, stiff-haired mane which arched down its spine and terminated in a bushy, light-brown tail.

"How are you feeling, Remus?" Severus asked softly, as the werewolf nuzzled into his open palm and he felt the razor edge of its teeth against his bare skin. "Are you all right?"

The werewolf raised its mournful grey eyes to look at him, and shook its head once. In a fluid, graceful movement, it bounded up onto the seat of the sofa next to Severus, and lay curled up on the cushions, resting its muzzle between its front paws. It whined softly, almost brokenly, as if it was suffering an extreme pain that it could not quite identify, that would not alleviate.

Severus sighed, gently laying a hand on the werewolf's bowed head, feeling comforted when it did not draw back from his touch.

"It'll be all right, soon, Remus," he said very quietly, almost to himself. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

Severus sat where he was, without a wink of sleep throughout the entire night. The werewolf lay beside him, docile in manner, troubled in spirit, and there they found a mutual solace in each other, through the night that never seemed to end, until the virgin rays of dawn diffused across the inky sky.



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