:: Part 5 ::
Aya felt as if he had been asleep for
weeks. He had barely come out of his apartment since his return from hospital.
With the curtains drawn, he existed in perplextual darkness, pretending he was
just following doctor's order to rest when he was actually hiding from the
world.
Luckily, no one had called him on it
yet. Youji, Omi and Momoe-san, even Manx and Birman kept their distance from
Aya's apartment, providing him the silence and loneliness he wanted. Youji and
Omi didn't even tell him to take care of the flower shop, while usually they
whined about that to no end. They ran the flower shop themselves, with the help
from Momoe-san. Aya never showed any gratitude, but he was thankful that his
friends seemed to understand that he didn't want to be bothered by any of them.
There had been visitors, of course. A
police officer had come and taken his statement about the crash, probbing him
incessantly for the details of the crash, the demeanor of the truck driver, and
many other things Aya didn't want to think about. The dangerous driving charge
would not be difficult to prove, and the officer informed him that the driver
had confessed that he was falling asleep at the wheel when he veered over to
the wrong side of the road.
Aya listened numbly as the officer
spoke, but he really didn't want to listen any of it. Nothing would change the
fact that Ken was still in the hospital in a coma, and no one knew when he
would wake up. Only then would they know how extensive his injuries were and if
there would be some paralysis. Aya was having difficulty in concentrating on
anything other than that.
It didn't take long for the nightmares
to start. He really wasn't the type to be affected by nightmares, except the
ones about Aya-chan's accident, but this accident really affected him in almost
the same way as Aya-chan's accident did.
Despite all the sleep Youji and Omi
assumed he was getting, Aya was still exhausted. He would wake at least three
times a night, hearing the screaming of the tyres and the thunderous noise of
the impact. He would feel the incessant rolling of the car, and the terrible
pain as his head hit the window. But the nightmares about Ken were the worst.
In every single one he imagined Ken
dead. Sometimes he was crushed by the collision, other times thrown through the
wide screen onto the road. As the nightmares became more gruesome, Aya was
almost afraid to sleep. Fuck, sure, he *was* an assassin, and he had seen the
death of many people, sometimes in horrible ways, but he had never seen the
death of a close friend. And he didn't intend to.
But still he stayed in his apartment,
avoiding the real world where everything was still uncertain. He didn't know
whether Ken would survive or not and he couldn't deal with anything else until
he did.
* * *
Aya lay back onto the bed, unseeing. He
lay in bed for another stretch, then staring into space. It could have been two
minutes or two hours, Aya had no concept of the passing time as he withdrew
into his shell.
There were polite knocks on the door,
startling him. He looked up and saw Youji came in. "I don't want any
visitor," Aya said flatly.
"I know, Aya," Youji said.
"There's no visitor. The only visitor here is me, and I need to talk to
you". He stared at the redhead, waiting for his reaction.
Aya didn't give any. Youji took that as
a yes and closed the door before walking to Aya's bedside. He pulled a chair
and sat. There was silence in the room as Youji examining Aya's condition with
his eyes, noting that he was much different from their leader he used to know.
"If you want to talk, then
talk," Aya snapped. "Don't stare at me like I'm an alien or
whatsoever".
Youji shifted on his chair. "Aya,
we are very worried about you," he started. "You have been in this
condition for days. Omi said that you almost never touch your food".
"Do you want to start a speech on
me, Youji?"
"Aya, fuck, we are worried about
you! Your condition is bad enough after the accident, and now the
'I-refuse-to-eat' act! It'll worsen your condition".
"I can't… I don't feel like to eat
while Ken is there, lying between life and death… I…"
"Aya, we are sad too and you are
not the only one who grief over the accident and the impact on Ken. But Aya,
life's goes on. Unfortunately it won't stop turning, so we have to collect
ourselves too. What do you think Omi and I feeling when we have to go on the
mission without you and Ken, huh? Do you think it's easy for us? Fuck, no,
Aya!"
"Youji, I…"
"Ken will be sad if he see you
like this"
"Don't you dare to talk like you
know what Ken's feeling right now, Youji…"
"Oh, hell, maybe I don't. No, I
don't know. But trust me, he will. Good grief, Aya, he had sacrificed himself
to protect you and you want to make his sacrifation useless?"
"What? Sacrife himself…"
"Yes. He cares so much about you,
more than he cares about himself. That's why he turned the steering wheel to
the right. Can you imagine if he
turned the wheel to the left? It'd be you
who lay there, not him. …Aya, he wanted to protect you… and now that you are
already safe, try to show some grattitude by taking care of yourself
properly."
Ken had saved him? Aya had never
thought about that before. Was he… was he that selfish? To only think about his
grief and ignore the fact that someone else grief too?
Youji took a deep breath. He didn't
mean to be so upset like this, but ever since the acciden't he couldn't control
his emotion properly. Lucky him that Omi was still fully in control and could
calm him down. "Look, Aya, I know you are still angry to me because I lied
to you about Ken's condition, but…"
Aya waved his hand. "No, Youji, I
don't. I realize that you lied for my own good. I'm sorry for blowing up at
you. And I'm sorry for being so selfish… I… "
Youji smiled. At least some things were
settled between them. "It's okay, Aya. Wait here," he said then
walked out of the room. In a moment he was back, tray in hand. "Here, Omi
made this for you. Well, it's only soup, and hot tea, but please just take
them, okay? For Omi's sake? He's really worried about you".
Youji placed the tray on a small table
and brought it near Aya's bed. "Aa…arigatou". The soup smelled quite
good for him and for the first time since days, he realized that he actually
felt rather hungry. He started to eat the soup with Youji still with him.
The taste of the soup maybe not world
class, but Aya felt that the soup he was eating was one of the best he had ever
had. Because it was filled with the warmth of a friendship. And he did feel
warm, knowing that in this world there were still people who cared about him.
"Don't worry, Aya," Youji
said. "Don't worry. Ken will wake up. He's strong. He will back to
us".
Aya felt his eyes watered.
"Aa…". Yes, Ken would wake up. And he had to keep the faith that
everything would be okay.
* * *
Aya awoke from another nightmare. He
still had nightmare, but after the talk with the eldest member of Weiß, the
nightmare wasn't as gruesome as it used to be. He was reaching for his glass of
water when Omi stormed into his room without knocking.
"A…Aya…Aya-kun, Youji just called
from the hospital … It's Ken-kun…"
Aya sat bolt upright, not caring that
he had knocked down the glass in process. His attention was on Omi and his
words. What? What happen to Ken? Is his condition worsened? His mind was
screaming many different speculations at him. He felt the pit of his stomach
knotted in fear.
"Aya-kun, Ken-kun is awake!!"
Omi beamed at him. "Heisawakeheisawakeheisawake!!!!"
Aya felt the fear loosened and there
was a spark ignite within him. His world suddenly was invaded with hundreds of
different thoughts and sensations at once.
"Is he allright?"
"They don't know yet. They are
still performing some tests on him"
Aya's eyes widened. "Omi, Omi,
I…"
"I know, I know. We go there
together".
Aya smiled for the first time in days.
He pulled off the covers and jumped out with the energy that surprised even
himself.
"But just one thing,
Aya-kun," Omi said, his tone light. "Have a shower and change your
clothes first. I don't think it's sanitary to go to the hospital in that
condition".
Aya didn't need to be told twice. He
was almost sprinting to the bathroom. He was so excited. He waste no time in
the shower. He had to get to the hospital as soon as he possibly could to see
him.
~end of part 5 ~