::
Part 8 ::
Aya
walked along the quiet hospital corridor towards Ken's room. It had been a week
since Ken regained his consciousness, and still his condition hadn't changed.
At least, in Aya's opinion, it hadn't and that made him extremely worried
inside.
He
had always been here in the hospital, visiting him everyday since Ken woke up.
Youji and Omi had understood the condition and they willingly offering
themselves to take on some parts of Aya's job so that the redhead could visit
Ken everyday. It was useless to keep Aya too long in work anyway. His thought
would always divert back to the brunette and some of his works laid ignored.
Aya
pushed Ken's room door gently, revealing a nurse who was standing next to the
bed, seemingly just finished some check up. The nurse turned to him and smiled
gently, "Visiting again?".
That
was a retorical question, but Aya nodded anyway. Almost all the nurses
appointed to taking care of Ken knew him, although not very well. They'd be
expecting him to come visiting at around this hour.
He
walked towards the bed, setting the flowers he brought with him on the small
table and stared at the sleeping figure on the bed.
"The
doctor had given him some medicine a while ago," she said softly. "He
had been sleeping ever since. I just finished checking up his pulse,
temperature and blood pressure. I'll be back later to get him some medicine,
okay?"
Aya
nodded absently, not really acknowledging the nurse as she smiled politely
before leaving the room. He pulled a chair and sat near the bed. Staring at his
sleeping friend. At him.
It
had been almost two weeks since that fateful accident. Two long weeks that
passed like eternity. Two weeks of seeing him like this, attached to the bed,
not able to do anything.
His
heart screaming. He didn't know this boy. No, he didn't know this sleeping boy.
He was not Ken, not Ken that Aya knew. His mind refusing to believe, even after
all these days, that the boy who was lying powerless there was the hyperactive
Ken he knew.
Ken's
eyes was closed, his face was unnaturally pale. It was as if… it was as if he
was dead. Aya realized how close he had come to losing Ken. He had never
thought about it before. Had never thought that he would lose Ken, had never
thought that Ken would leave him.
Had
he taken Ken for granted? He was always sure that he would always had Ken by
his side, at least as a killing partner. Thinking about it now, he regretted
all the mean things he had said and done to Ken. He knew that the brunette was
just following his heart, being a naïve and impulsive boy he was. He should've
known better…
He
looked around the room, then suddenly noticed that almost the whole room was
decorated with flowers. Distantly, Aya remembered how the neighbours reaction
when they knew what had happened to Ken. Since that, the flower delivery had
never ceased to stop, coming over and over and over again everyday. And looking
at those cheery, colorful flowers, Aya knew that Ken was so loved by the
people.
Wasn't
he always? Ken gave love easily and he was easily loved.
And
wasn't he himself was one of those people, Aya wondered. One of them who loved
the brunette. Like what Youji had once said, to know Ken was to love him. Aya
had refused that kind of thought before, had been very sure that he had not
need love and hadn't been capable of love.
But
as time went by, he realized that he was drawn too. Drawn to the love the
brunette had, and gave up to the urge rising inside of him, the urge to love
the brunette. Wasn't it Ken that broke all his defence with his naivety, with
his charm?
Aya
stared at the sleeping boy. What was it that made Ken so loveable? What was it
that made him attracted to the brunette? Was it his naivety? His innocence, his
childishness? His tenderness?
In
his haste, Aya's hands found it's way to Ken's hand. He caressed it gently
before taking it in his hands. He realized that before the accident, he had
never hold Ken's hand like this. And now that he was holding it tightly in his
hands, he relished the warmth he felt radiating from the brunette's hand.
Ken
moaned softly in his sleep and Aya stiffened, afraid of having woken him. But
Ken didn't wake. He kept sleeping, his breathing soft and even, deep into his
slumber.
Aya
realized how much his affection had grown immensely towards the brunette. And
he hadn't told him what he felt. And he wondered, what it felt like to love
someone. Wondered what it felt like to be loved by someone.
He
didn't know what Ken's feeling towards him was. Ken was always warm and
friendly, to him, and to all other people he knew. All his smiles that had been
showed towards Aya, Aya didn't really believe it as a reflection of what Ken
felt towards him. Because Ken also had that smile for Youji, Omi, the
neighbourhood children. For the elderlies, for everyone.
While
Aya believed that his own smiles towards the brunette really reflected what he
felt towards Ken.
Three
soft knocks on the door and it opened quietly. A nurse, different from the one
Aya met when he first came in, walked in, on her hand a tray half filled with
the medicines. She smiled tenderly at Aya as she set the tray on the small
table near the bed.
"It's
time for the medicine," she smiled.
Aya
stared at Ken's face. He looked so peaceful, lying there as if everything was
okay, as if everything had turning out the way it was supposed to be.
But
if he was woken up… if he was, Aya was sure that the peacefulness would broke,
that Ken would have to wake up to face the cruel reality.
The
nurse had finished preparing the medicine and was about to wake Ken up when a
hand grabbed her hand, stopping her. Startled she looked up and stared at the
redhead on the other side of the bed. He was not looking back at her. He was
staring at his sleeping friend.
"Fujimiya-kun…"
"Don't…"
"Excuse
me?" she asked. She really didn't understand what was going on in the
young man's head.
"Don't
wake him up. He's still sleeping".
"But
he has to have his medicine, Fujimiya-kun," she said gently.
He
looked up and stared at him briefly, before staring back at the sleeping boy.
"He is… he is having a beautiful dream right now. Don't wake him up".
"Fuji…"
"Look
at him," he said softly, his eyes tender. "He looks so peaceful. He
must have a very good dream. Don't wake him up…"
"Do
you want him to sleep forever?"
"Who
wants to wake up if the reality is like this?," he asked, his voice
bitter. "If you wake him up, he will have to face the fact that he won't
walk again. He would be sad. Who wants to wake up if just to find reality like
that?". He paused, his hands softly brushed the bangs from the younger boy
forehead. He didn't care what the nurse would think. "It'll be better if
he is in his dream. At least he will be happy".
"It
is as if you want him dead, Fujimiya-kun," she said. Aya could see her
frown as she said those words, even when he didn't look at her.
"Maybe…
if that's what's best for him… if it can make him not sad…"
"But
don't you think he wants to wake up to see you again?"
Aya
looked up suddenly as he heard those words. The nurse was smiling down at him
serenely.
"He
has come a long way, Fujimiya-kun," she said, her eyes rested gently on
the young man's face. "He has fighting really hard to survive the
accident, and don't you think that it is because he wants to see you again?
Because he doesn't want to leave his friends yet?"
Aya
didn't say anything.
"And
in the way I see it, your friend here has a strong will to survive. He has a
strong will to live. Up until now, he doesn't show any sign that he is
surrendering to his deformity. And I'm sure he is not a quitter. I'm sure he
will face the challenge and I'm sure he will win,". She paused and then
smiled at Aya. "Don't you think so, Fujimiya-kun? You are his friend
afterall, and you know him much better than I do".
"Aa…,"
he said softly. 'Yes', he thought. 'I know him better than this woman does. How
can I have so little faith in him?'.
"Can
I wake him up now?" she asked.
"Aa…
yes, please," he nodded, still feeling ashamed of himself.
The
nurse then turned to Ken, shaking him gently. Aya heard him murmuring something
inaudible, before Ken finally open his eyas. "Wha…?" he asked
sleepily.
"It's
time for your medicine, honey," she said tenderly at him.
"Oh…,".
He then turned his gaze and saw Aya staring down at him. "Aya," he
smiled sleepily. "Hey".
"Hey,
Ken," he smiled back at him, feeling warmth spreading in his heart as he
saw the brunette's smile.
The
nurse then carefully helped Ken to take on his medicine. After he finished
taking it, she left the room, smiling gently at the two young men in the room.
Ken smiled back and waved slightly at her while Aya nodded slightly.
"You
seem to have a very good sleep back there, Ken," Aya smiled.
"Yeah,
it was really nice. It felt so peaceful".
"Hm…
I could see it. I almost wanted to let you sleep forever like that".
"Oh
no, you can't get rid of me that easily, Aya," Ken laughed lightly.
"I have no intention to leave you just yet".
Aya
smiled, and he gripped Ken's hand tighter, squeezing it gently with his thumb.
"I bet so," he said lightly. "I'm glad you stay, though".
"Yeah,
me too".
A
comfortable silence hanged in the air between them, before Ken finally broke
it.
"You
come here everyday, Aya," he smiled.
Aya
was suddenly allerted at his words. "Why? Do I bother you?"
"No,
no," Ken said quickly, He licked his lips nervously. "I'm glad you
come everyday. You have no idea how boring and lonely it is to have no one
accompanied you". He paused before continuing. "I just… I just don't
want your importances being neglected just because of me…".
"What
are you saying, Ken?," he asked, brushing another bang brom his face.
"I don't have anything neglected. Don't worry about it".
"That's
good," he said. Ken looked so relieved and Aya was sad that the brunette
thought that he was a burden for him. "How is Aya-chan doing? Is she
getting better?"
Aya
felt as if he was struck by a thunder at that question. How is Aya-chan doing? How was she doing?? He didn't even know! He
was struck with the painful reality that in his sadness over the thing that had
happened on Ken, he had forgotten his imouto.
How is Aya-chan doing?
And
he couldn't even answer that. How was it for an irony? He, the massive
sister-complex, had completely forgotten about his imouto. Had forgotten that
his imouto also needed him. Had forgotten that on his last visit there her
doctor had told him that his imouto had been getting better. He wondered what
kind of a brother was he.
Ken
frown at Aya sudden silence. "Aya? What's wrong? Is there something bad
happened to Aya-chan?"
"Iie…
no, I just… she's good, Ken. Don't worry, she's getting better," he tried
to smile reassuringly at Ken.
"Ne,
Aya, you are lying," Ken said, a matter of factly. "You haven't
visited her, have you?"
"I…
I…"
"Well,
then you have to go visiting her," Ken said. "She needs you more than
I do". He paused as Aya stared at him. "Well, uh… literally" he
added after an afterthought.
"I
will, Ken," Aya smiled. "Don't worry… I just, it's just because I'm a
bit off lately".
Ken
let out a big yawn and then smiled sheepishly at Aya. "Sorry… I get sleepy
really easily lately".
"Maybe
it's because the medicines they give you, Ken"
"I
know. It's just that lately I feel so tired," he stared at the redhead
sleepily. "See, I woke up only a few minutes ago and now I feel sleepy
again".
Ken
closed his eyes and Aya stared at the brunette's boyish face intently.
"Ken…?"
"Hmm
mm??," he mumbled sleepily. "It's so boring here, Aya. All I do
everyday is sleep, eat, take my medicine, sleep again, eat again, medicine
again… I can get *fat*!!".
Aya
had to smile at Ken's whine. Here he was lying paralyzed and he was worrying
about being fat!
"I
feel like I want to do something," Ken continued. "I want to teach
soccer ag…" He paused abruptly.
And
at that time, for a moment, Aya felt his heart stopped beating too. He looked
at Ken. The brunette's mouth was still hanging open slightly, as if about to
continue his sentence, but then he closed it, gritting his teeth. Ken closed
his eyes tightly and clenched his jaw.
"Ken…"
Ken's
eyes snapped open again, his eyes full with something Aya couldn't understand.
"I… I mean, I can't wait to get to my wheelchair," he said with false
cheerfulness. "It'll be great to move again, ne??"
Aya
felt his chest tightened. He knew that Ken was trying to cover up his sadness.
He squeezed Ken's hand gently. "Yes, Ken," he whispered hoarsely.
"It'll be wonderful".
Ken
turned his face away, trying not to let Aya saw his sadness, which he was sure
was failing miserably. To not be able to walk again, not able to play soccer
again…. Ken felt his eyes stung with tears, but he stubbornly refused the tears
to betray him.
Suddenly
he felt so tired. Maybe it was bacuse of the medicine again. Or maybe he just
wanted to run away from this bitter reality. "I'm… I'm going to sleep
now," he said, averting his gaze back at the redhead. "Would you…
would you mind staying here until I fall asleep?"
'I
won't go home if you want me to,' Aya thought. "No, Ken," he said.
"I don't mind. I'll stay here until you fall asleep".
True
to his words, Aya stayed with Ken, even much longer after Ken had been asleep.
He hold the brunette's hand tightly, all the way praying to the God he had
never really believed in, that everything would eventually be okay.
~end of part 8~