Behind the Story: Things Change
by Chaosgirl and Mariye
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Disclaimer: We really don't own FF8. We mean it.
This goes on during the writing of Things Change. We thought you all deserved to know what goes on in Chaosgirl + my psychotic little minds. hehehe
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Chaosgirl: Seifer!
Seifer: Wha?
Chaosgirl: *slips him a $100 bill* Get me more inside info. And DON'T give me any more false facts. Like about Aeron being a drug dealer...
Seifer: Nobody said that was exactly wrong. Mariye said herself that she didn't know him that well.
Chaosgirl: That doesn't matter. Get me the info!
Seifer: There's a problem. Mariye upped my pay from $25 to $100.25 to guard the Things Change disk.
Chaosgirl: *mumbles and gives Seifer $10 more* Good enough?
Seifer: Well... I'm not sure.
Chaosgirl: Please...... *massages his shoulders*
Seifer: You ALREADY know enough. Plus you keep blackmailing me.
Chaosgirl: Good idea!
Seifer: No...
Chaosgirl: C'mon Seifer. I offered you money, threatened you with blackmail, sweet talked... I'll do anything.
Seifer: *smirks* Anything? Well, there's something else you could do...
Chaosgirl: Name it.
Seifer: Nah. You won't do it. You're not the type.
Chaosgirl: I am SO the type. And yes, I will.
Seifer: Promise? You can't break it.
Chaosgirl: I promise. Now what is it?
Seifer: Go make me lunch.
Chaosgirl: What?! I thought you meant something else...
Seifer: You promised...
Chaosgirl: *growls* At least he'll do the job. *marches off to kitchen*
Seifer: Don't forget the sidedishes! And my soda!
---
Mariye: *whistles* Zell, getchyer butt off of my couch and drop that bowl of popcorn. I have a job for you.
Zell: But... but... I'm gonna find out which guy is that waitress's baby's daddy!
Mariye: C'mon. The mission involves whooping Seifer's butt.
Zell: I guess. But I thought he was working for you.
Mariye: He's a double agent. I need you help. Guard my disks, and if he comes near them, lay the smackdown on him.
Zell: I dunno... I heard you were paying him...
Mariye: What?!?! Lies! Who told you that?
Zell: Chaosgirl...
Mariye: Fine... $100.25
Zell: Loren paid Seifer more than that though...
Mariye: *grumbles* lousy little... Fine, here's $125. Now go and be a watchdog.
*Zell is still standing there.*
Mariye: What?
Zell: Loren cooked for him too.... and backrubs?
Mariye: Fine. I'll make hotdogs and s'mores. Okay?
Zell: Yay! Hi ho hi ho, its off to work I go!
---
Chaosgirl: *shakes Seifer who is sleeping on the couch*
Seifer: *growls* Leave me alone...
Chaosgirl: We need to talk!
Seifer: What do you want?
Chaosgirl: Mariye hired someone to help guard that disk from you.
Seifer: *snickers* Guess I'll have to abort the mission...
Chaosgirl: No! I cooked! I paid! I was nice!
Seifer: Well, think about it like this: You're a step closer to a civilized girl.
Chaosgirl: *elbows him in the stomach* Yeah, those anger management classes are starting to pay off!
Seifer: *grits teeth* Who did Mariye hire anyway?
Chaosgirl: Zell...
Seifer: *jumps up* She hired Chickenwuss! That's an insult!
Chaosgirl: I know... that's really cruel. You must teach them a lesson... by doing the mission anyway.
Seifer: *helds out hand* $150
Chaosgirl: I gave you money earlier.
Seifer: *coughs* Fujin needed a new eyepatch. And tuition money for Raijin's preschool. They're starting to learn the ABC's and this is a big step for him. Hyperion also needed to be shined.
Chaosgirl: Fine *grumbles and hands over cash*
Seifer: Glad we could come to an agreement.
Chaosgirl: Hyne, if you weren't so hot, I'd have to rip out your throat.
Seifer: If you weren't so full of money and blackmail and threats and desperateness, I'd rip out your tits.
Chaosgirl: What was that!?
Seifer: Eyelids... very painful. At least that Junior Cadet seems to say so.
Chaosgirl: I thought so!!!
---
Mariye: Ah, now to finish chapter 14... hey... wait a minute *looks around* where's Zell. Zell?
Zell: Huh? Well, see, we have a problem.
Mariye: And that is? I mean, I fed you, let you take a nap, rubbed your shoulders, and paid you. What more do you want from me?
Zell: More food and money? Chaosgirl's paying Seifer $150 now...
Mariye: So? I'm not Chaosgirl. Now go do your job.
Zell: No money, no work.
Mariye: Fine, know what then? I can do better...
Zell: Huh? Who? *gets up*
Mariye: Now where did I put Irvine's number...
Zell: Kinneas? But!!! He's a dork! I hate him! He's nothing next to me!
Mariye: But he'll actually HELP a damsel in distress. For free even.
Zell: It wouldn't be for free...
Mariye: Yeah, but I could string him along. So you can go now... I'll just get someone more competent than a Chicken-Wuss.
Zell: WHAT??? *slaps cell phone out of Mariye's hand*
Mariye: Excuse me?
Zell: I'll go do it, but I BETTER get an extra $50 for my work...
---
Chaosgirl: *watches and rubs her chin and looking suspicous* Irvine, huh? Hey Seifer!
Seifer: What now?
Chaosgirl: I don't need you now. I got an evil idea.
Seifer: *curious* What would that be?
Chaosgirl: Mariye might fire Zell and hire Irvine. She doesn't seem to realize Irvine will do anything for any girl if he thinks he has a shot to score.
Seifer: *look of disgust* Irvine... that's disappointing. Tsk tsk.
Chaosgirl: *goes through her imaginary closest and finds a tight short leather skirt and a matching sports bra*
Seifer: *grins* Oooo. Scandalous.
Chaosgirl: Yeah, or should I wear this one? *pulls out a string bikini*
Seifer: Hmmm... I'm not quite sure. Listen, you should try BOTH on and then I'll have a better idea.
Chaosgirl: *rolls her eyes* Nice try... Hey Seifer, do you still want to eradicate.... resolve the Zell-guarding-the-disk problem? Because Irvine's not doing it yet.
Seifer: Sure. Eradicating Chicken wuss would be worth my time.
Chaosgirl: You mean resolving.
Seifer: *shrugs* It's all the same to me.
Chaosgirl: So, if I gave you so extra spending cash, would you do it?
Seifer: Do what?
Chaosgirl: Go along with my new plan.
Seifer: Does it involve you in a leather miniskirt or a string bikini?
Chaosgirl: *sighs* Sure...
Seifer: *leans back on couch* Alright, I promise. What exactly do I have to do?
Chaosgirl: *goes back to the closest and picks out a long skirt and tank top, and a wig*
Seifer: And that's supposed to mean...?
Chaosgirl: It's too late. You promised.
Seifer: I don't think so.
Chaosgirl: Please.... If Mariye does hire Irvine, I'll need two of us to get the mission done. One to distract, and the other to get the information. You have to be disguised.
Seifer: What about Chickenwuss?
Chaosgirl: C'mon, have you seen the library girl? Do you know how manly she looks? Zell will be too desperate for something better, he won't notice in that little time period.
Seifer: Listen! I am not that Cloud loser! I don't wear dresses!
~Later, after much argument~
Seifer: I can't believe I'm going to wear a dress. And a wig.
Chaosgirl: At least I'm not making you wear pantyhose. It's so itchy.
Seifer: Why are you so desperate for the info on this disk? Mariye will post it eventually.
Chaosgirl: That is NOT the point of this mission. I made an assuming review and she said I was close to the truth, which won't be revealed for chapters! Wouldn't that drive you crazy?
Seifer: No.
Chaosgirl: Shut up blondie.
Seifer: Here we go... resorting to name calling. Tsk tsk!
Chaosgirl: Hey, remember the deal, okay? Always keep your eyes on the prize!
Seifer: Yeah, I am.
Chaosgirl: Stop staring at my chest. *playfully slaps his cheek*
Seifer: Fine. But I don't think I can pull this girl-thing off.
Chaosgirl: First off, the way you walk. Don't walk like you have something between your legs. And remember to swing your hips a little to get Irvy's attention. And play with your hair occasionally.
Seifer: *groans* I don't want to do this.
Chaosgirl: You only have to get his attention towards us, then I'll distract him until you find out what's on the next chapter. It's simple.
---
Mariye: Hi Irvine, I guess you're wondering why you're here... *is in a short black sleeveless dress, sitting crosslegged on her bed. smiles*
Irvine: I have an idea... *winks*
Zell: Oh give me a break! You are such a loser Irvine. Mariye, come on! You don't need him! You have me!
Mariye: Oh shush. I need a man Zell. *stands up and runs her hand along Irvine's shoulder* So Irvy, is there any chance you would help little old me? I can make it worth your while...
Irvine: I know you could baby.
Zell: This sucks! I'm leaving!
Mariye: Oh, but Zell, I need you here too. I'll pay both of you $200. Plus I'll make sure I have something extra for Irvy.
Irvine: I'm like, in heaven! *Lays back on couch and pulls out a Girl Next Door* All I have to do is sit here and watch.
Mariye: Thanks baby. *winks at Irvine*
Zell: *whispers to Mariye* C'mon, you know that I can do it. Fire him. He's a risk. A casualty. He could leak info to anything in a skirt.
Mariye: Aw Zell, do I look like a fool? Just wait. I have a plan that is incredibly complicated... You just wait and see baby. *bats her eyes* Now if you two will excuse me, I'm gonna go get a Mr. Pibb. I'll be back...
---
Chaosgirl: *throws a wig at a sleeping Seifer* GET UP!
Seifer: Damn! Can't you just let me sleep?!
Chaosgirl: We have a problem!
Seifer: *mutters* We always do...
Chaosgirl: Mariye has BOTH morons guarding the disk.
Seifer: *smiles smugly* Your plans are spoiled. Guess I won't have to dress up like a girl.
Chaosgirl: *bites her lip* We need backup... The DC! *dials the #*
Fujin: HELLO?
Chaosgirl: Hey Fu. There's a problem.
Fujin: WHAT?
Chaosgirl: Come over and I'll tell you.
Fujin: OKAY. RAIJIN, BRING?
Chaosgirl: No.
~a little while later~
Fujin: HI.
Raijin: Hello Seifer and Chaosgirl. This place is cool, ya know.
Chaosgirl: *sighs* Why is he here?
Fujin: INSIST.
Raijin: Yeah right! You practically begged me to come, ya----
Seifer: Let's get this over with. What's the plan?
Chaosgirl: Well... wasn't expecting Raijin, but I guess it could work.
Fujin: TELL.
Chaosgirl: The prior plan was to dress up and distract Irvine from the disk. Now Zell's going to need so distraction too.
Fujin: DRESS?
Chaosgirl: Yes *pulls out a stolen Rinoa dress* This is yours.
Fujin: *scowls* UGLY.
Chaosgirl: Well, we could fix it up a bit. *tears huge holes in the sides and makes it shorter* There.
Fujin: HOOKER, DRESS.
Chaosgirl: That's the point. Now about your eyepatch.
Fujin: *defensive* MINE.
Chaosgirl: Here... wear some sunglasses over it.
Fujin: COOL.
Chaosgirl: Complete it out with dangerously high heel.
Fujin: IDEA, BETTER.
Chaosgirl: Fine...
Fujin: *walks into dressing room and walks out looking like she's going to a CIA convention (short black dress, high boots, and a wicked pair of shades)*
Chaosgirl: Hmmm... Much better. Very Matrix-style. Irvine will appreciate the leather.
Raijin: What about me, ya know?
Chaosgirl: Well... I don't really much in your size... except my grandmother's maternal dress with pink daises on it.
Raijin: Sure. Pink daises are all the rage, ya know.
Seifer: *lifts an eyebrow* And you would know... why?
Raijin: This month's teen magazine of Twenty One Chic. *pulls it out* Here... look.
Seifer: *unexpectedly* Look at the horoscopes. *skims to the Virgo part* Hey! Squall will be miserble today! And look he's not compatible with you, Chaosgirl!
Chaosgirl: *sarcastic* I guess the wedding's off then...
Seifer: *skims to his own* Capricorn: Something unusual will brighten your day! Also not compatible with you, Chaosgirl! Who would've saw that coming?
Chaosgirl: *tears the magazine away* Trash...
Raijin: What's your horoscope? Just curious, ya know.
Chaosgirl: *skims* Leo: You will be slightly confused with certain matters today. Go with your instinct. Compatible with: Aries, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius. Anyone one of those?
Seifer: *smirks* Not me...
Raijin: Irvine's a Sag. Compatible, ya know.
Chaosgirl: Nah... but it might make the mission simpler.
Raijin: That's it.
Chaosgirl: You're kidding! Irvine is my least favorite character!
Raijin: At least you're compatible with Cloud Strife. And Barret!
Chaosgirl: Who? Oh yeah. The old Popeye-figured game. *rolls her eyes* Oh great... that's something to celebrate.
Seifer: Hey! You're compatible with Vincent Valetine. Isn't he supposed to be one of the hunks of FF7?
Chaosgirl: Hmmm... He was almost shaped correctly. Wait... this is a waste of time. Back to the mission plan.
*the group moans*
Raijin: What about MY horoscope, ya know?
Chaosgirl: It doesn't show your DoB. So I'll try to guess using common personalites.
~a little while later~
Chaosgirl: I believe Fujin's personality matches a Scorpio. And Raijin's match is either a Cancer or--
Raijin: *screams* I have cancer?! Like Zell?!
Chaosgirl: No you dofus. Or an Aquarius.
Fujin: MINE?
Chaosgirl: Scorpio: Don't give up on your desire. They will eventually understand. Compatible with: Cancer, Virgo, CAPRICORN, and Pisces.
Seifer: *teases* Squall's a Virgo. Is that who you're trying to get through to, Fu?
Fujin: *blushes slightly* ANYMORE, NOT.
Chaosgirl: Didn't you mention in Fanatics that you used to date Puberty boy?
Seifer: WHAT?! Fujin, I'm disappointed. We don't get it on for a month, and you're with Squall!
Fujin: *crosses arms* SUMMER, LAST. SEIFER BUSY, BANGING RHINO.
Seifer: Hey! That was uncalled for!
Raijin: What about me, ya know?
Seifer: What about you?!
Raijin: I had to resort to Xu for loving, ya know. You two were too busy making out to play matchmaker for your old pal. Then Nda stole Xu away from me. It hurt, ya know!
Seifer: *laughs* You banged Xu? You lucky b*stard!
Fujin: XU, HEADMASTER CID, AFFAIR.
Seifer: That was merely a rumor!
---
Irvine: Man! This woman is soo soo fly! Whoo.... I wonder if she'd go out with me if she were here... *flipping through his issue of The Girl Next Door.*
Zell: Yo! We're SUPPOSED to be guarding her disks dingus! So quit reading.
Irvine: Lighten up man. Its just ONE computer disk. And besides, she has like ten of them by her computer. Like anyone would know which one it is.
Zell: I do. Its the one with the star sticker on it...
Irvine: Fine, so you do. But Seifer doesn't, so relax. Here, look at this magazine.
Zell: Um, no thanks, I can actually get a woman... I don't need a computer altered picture...
Irvine: MS. TIMBER SWEETIE IS ALL NATURAL!
Zell: *grumbling* Yeah, triple D cups are natural... Man this is so boring! Why did she have to take the batteries out of the remote?
Irvine: Just go and turn the tv on manually...
Zell: Thats so much work though.... Hmmm.... I wonder what size those batteries are....
Irvine: And here you're lecturing ME on staying on task?
Zell: Back off! Today on Maury Jack Hanna is gonna come on with animals!
Irvine: How old are you. Geez. Like, grow up Zell.
Zell: *Digging through Mariye's backpack...* AHA! A discman.... please let it be AA.... YES! *grabs the batteries and runs for the remote.*
Irvine: Hmm... maybe she gets the Playboy channel... *Drops the magazine.*
Zell: Nope. She doesn't have cable in here.
Irvine: Dang. Oh well... back to Ms. Timber Sweetie and Ms. Trabia...
Zell: Yes! Maury! *Goes over to Irvine.* Come on and watch... Maury is cool! Hey wait, that girl looks like Selphie... and that one looks like Rinoa....
Irvine: No, those are Ms. Timber Sweetie and Ms. Trabia.
Zell: *Rolls his eyes.* Sure they are. *Goes back to watching the tv.* Now where did Mariye hide the popcorn?
Irvine: There are Twix bars on her desk...
Zell: SCORE!
---
Chaosgirl: *wakes up and stretches. peers at the floor* Seifer! Get up!
Seifer: *eyes shoot open* How did I get on the floor?
Chaosgirl: Well... there was a slight disagreement last night when after we were all partying... and I accidently shoved you off the couch ....because... I was kinda... tired.
Seifer: *rolls his eyes* Why didn't you just say: Party. Tired. Hog. Sleep, Seifer?
Chaosgirl: Like Fu?
Seifer: *grabs a pillow* Yes, like Fu. Why can't most girls talk like that instead of yapping on and on and waking me up so much?
Chaosgirl: *grins* I'm sorry. It'll never happen again.
Seifer: *tries to go back to sleep* Liar.
Chaosgirl: That's a lie. *then* How about the mission?
Seifer: *rolls over on the couch* 20 more minutes...
Chaosgirl: *crosses arms* How about now?
Seifer: Nah. I prefer 20 more minutes...
Chaosgirl: *shrugs* Men. *goes over to the easy chair where Fujin was sleeping peacefully* Hey Fu!
Fujin: *half awake* MISSION?
Chaosgirl: Yeah, go get ready. *wanders over to the dining room table where Raijin passed out during the manly keg chugging contest*
Raijin: *already awoke* Hangovers are really bad, ya know. Painful.
Chaosgirl: Yeah, I can see that, especially when you try to chug a keg of beer in 40 seconds.
Raijin: I won, didn't I?
Chaosgirl: No.
Raijin: *frowns* Seifer?
Chaosgirl: Nope, Fujin.
Raijin: *gasp* Fujin beat me! That's unfair, ya know!
Chaosgirl: Well, she was the last one to pass out anyways. Then everyone but you woke back up an hour later. We started partying again.
Raijin: What did you do?
Chaosgirl: *bites her lip* I'd like to plead the 5th on that.
Raijin: *smiles* Ohhh, I see. *laughs*
Chaosgirl: Let's just say: Seifer can't play poker.
Raijin: I can play Go Fish, ya know!
Chaosgirl: That's nice... Go get dressed. Pink daisy maternal dress, go!
Chaosgirl: *goes to her changing room and changes into the leather miniskirt with sports bra top, with the string bikini set hidden under it* Everyone ready?
Seifer: *comes out of bathroom in a twisted skirt, unbuttoned blouse, with a backwards wig, looking bitter* I despise you.
Chaosgirl: Seifer... *straightens out his skirt and fixes the wig* Nice flat chest, but it isn't going to work.
Seifer: *suspicous* What are you proposing?
Chaosgirl: C'mon... Irvine will be very attracted to breasts.
Seifer: *mocks* How do you know what Irvine prefers? After all, he was compatible with you.
Chaosgirl: Please... Irvy's typical.*finds a huge old cupped bra out of nowhere* Put this on.
Seifer: Wait... you said nothing about that.
Chaosgirl: Stop being a baby. Or I'll tell Cloud that you enjoy this.
Seifer: *fiddles with the bra* What is this, a deathtrap? How the hell are you supposed to put this on? *accidently flings across the room into Raijin's face, as he walks into the room. snickers* No wonder girls are so meaniey.
Raijin: *shocked* What was that? *picks it up and takes a look* What.... *screams*
Chaosgirl: Raijin... it's just a bra.
Raijin: A bra that belongs to Adel? It's big, ya know!
Chaosgirl: *takes it back* I promise you, that Adel never wore this... I think. *takes Seifer's blouse off*
Seifer: Brr. Doesn't this place have heating?
Chaosgirl: *sneers* What's wrong? Seify's little nipples are cold... *laughs*
Raijin: Mine are, ya know.
Seifer: *disgusted* That's just precious.
Chaosgirl: *gets the bra on Seifer* Well... pick your choice: Tissue, balloons, or real sillicone?
Seifer: *mutters* Death.
Chaosgirl: Tissues it is! *stuffs a bunch in each cup* It's... okay. I don't think Irvine will really care. And Zell doesn't have that MUCH experience. *buttons up his blouse*
Fujin: *walks into the room, looking like a CIA agent again, and starts giggling* Seifer's a pretty woman...
Seifer: I think no matter how weirdly Loren dresses me, I'll always look better than Sandra Bullock.
Raijin: That's Julia Roberts that played Pretty Woman, ya know.
Seifer: How would you know the difference, Misses Pink-Daisies-are-all-the-rage?
Raijin: Even though it's considered a chick flick, at least I was with Xu, ya know. Unlike you, who was too busy to hang out with his friends when Rhino was came around.
Seifer: That's harsh. Oh well... Xu's not the most sought after at Garden anymore...
Raijin: *jumps* Who?!
Seifer: *while Chaosgirl is trying to fix the wig more* Fujin is.
Fujin: *blushes* TRUE.
Raijin: *snorts* Yeah right!
Chaosgirl: *the phone rings* Hello? Hey Squall. She's right here. *hands the phone to Fujin*
Raijin: *disbelief* I don't believe it, ya know.
Fujin: *giggles* DATE? CAN'T. SORRY. *hangs up*
Seifer: *tries to hide the anger* A date?
Fujin: Told him I was too busy.
Seifer: Word of advice: Don't, under any circumstances, go out with that creep!
Chaosgirl: *adds* Again...
Fujin: WHATEVER.
Seifer: *growls*
Chaosgirl: *puts makeup on Seifer while he flames, while singing TLC* But if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to, be in the position to make me feel, so damn unpretty. I'll make you feel unpretty too.
Raijin: Want me to sing? I'm pretty good, ya know.
Fujin: *puts on a little makeup* NO!
Chaosgirl: Done! Let's go!
*everyone hops into the car*
---
Zell: TWIX! Its AAAAAAAAAALL in the MIXXXXXXXX!
Irvine: Would you shut up! I'm trying to read here. *Turns the magazine sideways to look at the pretty pictures...*
Zell: Yeah, like you even know how to read...
Irvine: I have a gun and I know how to use it Chicken-Wuss, so shut up and like, just leave me be.
Zell: Man, I wish Mariye would get back. At least SHE can sometimes be cool.... course thats only when she wants something...
Irvine: I wish she'd get back too... that dress looked so good on her... damn!
Zell: You have a sick sick mind loser. Oooo! Its SNL's celebrity Jeopary! I can do a great Sean Connery impression, wanna hear it?
Irvine: Do I have a choice? Man, why can't you leave me in peace?!?! Or at least put on MTV so I can see the hot half-naked women in the music videos.
Zell: Yo! You need to open up your mind perv! Listen to my Connery... You'll rue the day ye met me Trrrrebek.
Irvine: Uh huh. Yeah. Great...
[{DING DONG!]}
Zell: Um... was that the door?
Irvine: Yeah. Go answer it Dingus.
Zell: But, but... we're supposed to guard her disks....
Irvine: So? I'll be up here. Go do it.
Zell: *Walks out.* Loser...
---
Chaosgirl: I got dibs on the driver's seat!
Seifer: *swipes keys away* Not anymore.
Chaosgirl: *is ready to make a major comeback, but decides against it. After all, he is in a dress*
Raijin: I call the front seat, ya know!
Chaosgirl: *steals it* Sorry... Either the backseat or the roof.
Raijin: *mutters* Tifa-lookalike meanie. Won't let me have the front seat, ya know.
Chaosgirl: Tifa what?! I could never... EVER... look like her.
Raijin: But you got the similar top and short bottoms, ya know. Plus your hair is kinda brown.
Chaosgirl: First of all, this is a skirt and a sports bra top. And in just in case, a string bikini underneath. And my hair isn't like hers, it's NOT a giant split-end. I have blue eyes! And I hate Cloud!
Raijin: I'm sorry, ya know. You're right. So what do you think about Rufus?
Seifer: *starts car* Who's Rufus?
Raijin: Rufus Shinra, ya know. Was I the ONLY posse member to play FF7?
Fujin: POPEYE.
Chaosgirl: Who votes that Raijin should be tied to the roof?
Fujin: ME.
Seifer: Yes.
~a few minutes later~
Raijin: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! *from the car roof*
Chaosgirl: *turns on the radio*
Fujin: *sprays something on her head and her hair turns to red tint* Temporary coloring.
Seifer: *pulls by the sidewalk near Mariye's imaginary house*
Fujin: *steps out and stretches in her Matrix/CIA outfit*
*everyone walks to the house*
Raijin: *knocks on the door*
*Irvine answers*
Chaosgirl: *steps forward first* Hello baby. *twirls her hair* Can we come in?
Irvine: Hell yeah! The gods have finally answered my prayers! Hello Ladies! [moves aside for Raijin, Seifer, Chaosgirl, and Fujin to walk in. As they do, Irvine pinches Seifer's butt.*
Seifer: *in a higher voice.* Watch it!
Irvine: Ooo, You're feisty... I like that in a woman. *grins evilly.*
Zell: So who was it Irvine, did you get rid of them... um... who are all of you? *looks at all the people suspiciously.*
Chaosgirl: Um... we're friends of Mariye. Is she home? We were supposed to all go clubbing together.
Zell: She's out. Irvine, maybe we should escort them out. *Looks at all of them.* No offense, but we're on a mission.
Irvine: *slaps Zell.* DUDE! We don't get opportunities like this everyday.
Raijin: Aw, you're so sweet, ya know?
Fujin: *Kicks Raijin in the leg.* No ya knows. Eh hem, I mean, that is adorable. Listen, why don't we all retire to a more comfortable room?
*The gang walked to the living room*
Chaosgirl: You know... this is a nice place.
Irvine: *touches her shoulder* Did you know that I rented this place out to Mariye? I really own it.
Chaosgirl: (Yeah right...)
Irvine: In fact, I built this house with my own two hands. *rambles on*
Chaosgirl: (Okay Loren, no or never) *turns around* (Zell or Irvine? Cowboy wannabe or Chicken wuss? Guy with freaky hair or guy with a hat? ) *wraps her arms around Zell's neck and pulls him onto the couch* So, what have you been doing all day?
Zell: Uh... Maury.
Chaosgirl: Interesting... *glances at Seifer and slightly jerks her head towards an awaiting Irvine*
Irvine: *looks at Seifer* Hello, gorgeous.
Seifer: *pushes Fujin forward towards him* I think he likes you... Sue.
Irvine: Nah. I was talking about you, blondie. Why don't you come over here?
Seifer: *fakes a giggle and walks over*
Irvine: *looks Seifer over* So, what's your name?
Raijin: *valley girl voice* It's like, Seifie anne. And mine's... Raijina, ya know.
Zell: *to Chaosgirl* What's your name? You look familar.
Chaosgirl: *giggles* My name is... Rinoa!
Zell: *lifts an eyebrow* Rinoa?
Chaosgirl: *a bit nervous* It's Rinoa... Jo. Like Rinny Jo. Rinoa Jo... Kevorkian.
Zell: Kevorkian? Is that a relation to Dr. Kevorkian?
Chaosgirl: *whispers softly into his ear* Which would be more interesting?
Irvine: *touches Seifer's shoulder* So, Seifie anne, isn't it? What's your biggest turnoff?
Seifer: *high pitch* Cowboy wannabes...
Irvine: *too busy still looking him over to listen* That's good.
Seifer: Well... *points to Fujin* I think Sue would make you, ever so, happy.
Irvine: *pinches Seifer's butt* No need, beautiful.
Seifer: *instinctively grabs Irvine by the throat*
Irvine: *surprised* Whoa... I admire strong women.
Seifer: *tightens grip* Sure you do...
Chaosgirl: *flashes Seifer a dirty look*
Seifer: *releases Irvine's throat*
Chaosgirl: I have to go to the bathroom and freshen up a bit, okay Zell?
Zell: All right. *nods*
Chaosgirl: *looks to Fujin* Hey Sue, why don't you come freshen up too?
*they leave the room and start searching for the disk*
Raijin: *comes over to Zell* Hello...
Zell: I like your dress.
Raijin: Thank you, ya know! I got the idea from Twenty One Chic!
Zell: *excited* You read that magazine too?!
Irvine: Seifie anne, baby. *pats his thigh* Why don't you come sit on my lap?
Seifer: *fakes another giggle* Well, I'm not sure.
Irvine: *pulls Seifer close* You're so seductive, playing hard to get. You act so innocent, but I bet you're full of surprises.
Seifer: *mutters* A lot of surprises. Including one you don't want to know.
Irvine: *didn't hear* What was that? I think we need to get closer. *pulls Seifer really close*
Seifer: *fights the desire to murder, and tries to pull away gently* I think we're moving too fast.
Irvine: I'll move slow. *closes eyes, puckers lips and tries to pull Seifer even closer*
Seifer: *turns head and covers exposed cheek with hand*
Suddenly a figure bursts in the room.
Selphie: *outraged* IRVY! Irvy Kinneapoo I cannot believe this! Who is that TRAMP! That FLOOZIE!
Seifer: Hey! Who you callin a floozy? *leaps off Irvine's lap. His wig falls off.*
Irvine: Seifie Anne! You lied to me!
Selphie: ooooooo! Mariye was right about you! *Runs and starts attacking Irvine.*
Mariye: Well, I guess I was right to go to plan B, huh Zell?
Zell: Hold up Mariye, me and Raijina here are getting aquainted...
Raijina: Yeah, ya know...
Mariye: *rolls eyes* You Doofus, thats Raijin!
Zell: WHAT?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I HIT ON RAIJIN!!!!
Raijin: I knew I looked good in pretty flowers...
Fujin: *Walks in* Alright, we're ready to OH DAMN!
Chaosgirl: What? Huh! Mariye!
Mariye: Ah ha! So I was right! You were coming to steal my disk!
Chaosgirl: Me? You must be mistaken... Ah hell, nobody ever believes that. *holds up the FORBIDDEN disk* I did it!
Mariye: Just give back the disk and everything with be okay.
Chaosgirl: No! Never! *grabs one of Mariye's favorite childhood stuffed animals (for story's sake, a bunny rabbit) and whips out a lighter* Stay back! Or I'll burn it!
Zell: *screams* Nooooooooo! Not Mr. Giggles!
Mariye: His name isn't Mr. Giggles!
Seifer: *grabs Zell's wallet and runs for the window* Bye!
Zell: * returns to sitting disappointed on the couch* Raijina was Raijin... *sighs*
Selphie: Irvy! Do something!
Irvine: *tips his hat* Don't worry Selphie. I'll save the day. *grabs Loren*
Chaosgirl: Let go of me, you cowboy wannabe freak!
Irvine: Let go of the bunny! *accidently rips Loren's sports bra, revealing the string bikini top underneath*
Raijin: Irvine just tore her shirt, ya know!
Fujin: .......
Raijin: *shrugs* You're SUPPOSED to say " You b*stard", ya know!
Fujin: SORRY.
Chaosgirl: *rips a little of Irvine's hat* Payback sucks, don't it?!
Irvine: *falls to his knees, ready to sob* My hat... it was so young. So vibrant. So carefree...
Selphie: Chaosgirl! You're going to pay for that!
Irvine: *pulls out a gun*
Chaosgirl: Yikes! Put that thing away! It's a house, not a back alley!
Mariye: No blood stains in my carpet!
Chaosgirl: Well, I'd love to stay. But it's getting too crowded! *hops out window, followed by Fujin*
Raijin: Wait for me, ya know! *can't fit through window* Oh crap! *falls to the floor, looking up at Mariye, Zell, Selphie, and a heartbroken Irvine*
Mariye: Go ahead Raijin. go out the door. We won't chase you.
Raijin: Bless you, ya know!
*Raijin runs out.*
Zell: Um, Mariye?
Mariye: I'll explain later Zell.
Selphie: Irvy.... how could you hurt me?
*Selphie runs out.*
Irvine: Selphie! Wait! I only love you! *Runs out, then stops.* Hey Mariye, you have my number, right?
Mariye: Yeah, now go chase Selphie.
*Irvine runs out.*
Zell: How could you let Raijin get away! They have the disk!
Mariye: They THINK they have the disk Zell....
Zell: What did you do?
Mariye: Close your eyes. *Zell closes them. Mariye pulls out a disk with a star sticker.* This is the disk. I had it with me all along
Zell: Mind if I ask where you were hiding it? I mean, you ARE wearing that short... tight... slinky....
Mariye: DOWN BOY!
Zell: Sorry.... but you had it all along Mariye?
Mariye: Of course. You think I'd trust you and Irvine to guard this precious story?
Zell: I thought that you... you liked me.... you were supposed to be my friend....
Mariye: But I know that you're weak. I love ya, but you have no discipline. You let all of them in. Plus you HIT IN RAIJIN!
Zell: Don't remind me... So what disk did they grab then?
Mariye: Oh, its a very VERY special disk of information I put together...
---
Chaosgirl: *laughs victoriously as she enters her house* We did it!
*Raijin comes bursting in the door*
Chaosgirl: I thought you were caught.
Raijin: She let me go. Mariye must like me, ya know.
Chaosgirl: *sarcasm* I'm sure that's the case...
Fujin: *snickers at Raijin* DORK.
Chaosgirl: Hey. Where's Seifer?
Seifer: *comes swinging in through a window*Got it?
Chaosgirl: Yeah... we got it. *puts it in her pc*
Raijin: Can't wait to see what it is, ya know.
Seifer: *pushes Raijin out the way to get a better view at the monitor* Yeah, what did I risk my reputation for?
Chaosgirl: We'll see... *opens disk*
Fujin: *starts laughing hysterically*
Seifer: GET IT OFF THE SCREEN! *tries to block the screen.*
Chaosgirl: Is that a program showing you stripping?!?! WOO HOO! MOVE IT SEIFER!
Raijin: That's disgusting, ya know?
Fujin: YUM.
Chaosgirl: Oh yeah... Seifer, when did you do this?
Seifer: NEVER! GET IT OFF THE SCREEN!
Raijin: I think I'm gonna be sick, ya know?
Seifer: Shut up! I look hot! Still, get that closed!
Fujin: NOTE ON SCREEN.
Chaosgirl: Its from Mariye...
{ Hi Chaosgirl, I knew you'd come. Well, this isn't the story, and by the time this movie I created with computer animation is over, the final chapter will be posted at FF.Net. You stole this disk for nothing. }
*The screen goes blank just as Seifer gets down to his boxers.*
Fujin + Chaosgirl: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Raijin: Seifer! Stop! Leave me alone, ya know! I didn't mean to insult you!
Seifer: Die!!! Die for your disloyalty!!!!
----
[the end]