TOW Friends Ain't So Innocent Part 3
Back by demand. I would say popular demand, but only one person specifically asked for another. So me, being the nice person I am, decided to write another. Secondly, I would like to say that this fanfic was written purely in fun. Because I write something doesn't mean I support it. Also these characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them for a few seconds. Also if you are easily offended and don't like R' movies, you probably shouldn't read this.
Joey's Apartment
Everyone is sitting around except Ross, who is standing at the counter fixing a burger.
"So what's everyone's plans for the day?" Ross asks as Chandler looks at his watch and
sarcastically says, "Damn, there goes my plans." "What plans?" Monica asks awaiting a
joke she felt coming on. "It's 11:30! We missed church." Everyone laughs. "Well it is
God's day. I'm not doing any work, just relaxing." Ross says pulling a plastic bag out of
his pocket. He reaches in the bag and pulls out two or three mushroom caps and places
them between his top bun and his burger. Everyone looks at him laughing. "God's day, eh?"
Chandler says. "Ross, you still eats shrooms on your hamburgers?" Rachel asks. "No, not
usually, but I had to confiscate these from a student." Everyone laughs. "And I thought
my job had perks." Joey states. "Umm Joe? Do you even have a job?" Chandler asks. "Dude,
I'm an actor." Joey says matter-of-factly. "Oh of course, that." Chandler says humoring
Joey, "Anyway, Rachel do you still want to go shopping?" Phoebe asks. "We can drive my
grandmother's taxi!" She adds excitedly. "Really?" Rachel says sarcastically, but Phoebe
doesn't catch it. "Oh yeah, she won't mind. She's dead you know." Phoebe reminds everyone.
In his own world, Ross is looking around the room, still gripping his hamburger. "And what
about you two?" Rachel asks Chandler and Monica. "No big plans. I think we may go
rollerblading." Monica says as Chandler sighs. "Aww honey it'll be fun." She adds
reassuring Chandler. "Ok, ok." He gives in. "Whipped," Joey says to Ross quietly. "Totally."
Ross replies smiling and still not being able to focus on one thing. Everyone looks at him
amused.
A Mall Parking Lot
Rachel and Phoebe are driving around trying to find a parking space. "I don't think we're
ever going to find one. We might as well park at the gas station way the hell over there."
Phoebe says losing hope. "We have to find one! There's this big sale going on at Macy's
and there's this cute little skirt I want. (pause) There's one!" Rachel points out Phoebe's
window ecstatically. Phoebe turns her head to look. "Fuck!" Phoebe says as she slams into a
police car parked in the emergency lane. "Oh no!" Rachel says. "Oops I didn't see that
there." Phoebe says innocently. "Oh no! Phoebe what are we going to say when he comes
out?!" Rachel says frantically. Phoebe looks around and then slams on the gas. "Whoa
Pheebs. Whatcha doing honey?" Rachel says starting to freak out. "I'm not telling that
bastard anything!!" Phoebe says speeding away from the mall. Rachel sighs looking behind
them, "So much for shopping,"
Central Perk
Joey and Ross are sitting on the couch. In the middle of the table is a vase of flowers.
Ross can't seem to get enough of them. He picks one out of the vase and starts looking at
it closely. "Pink," Ross says amazed. Joey looks on entertained and smiling until he spots a
pretty woman checking him out. He heads over there. "How you doin'?" Joey asks
flirtatiously. The woman laughs and extends her arm. "Ashley." "Joey." He says shaking her
hand and smiling saucily. "Umm Ross. I'm sorry but you can't take that out of the vase."
Gunther says walking towards Ross and trying to remove the flower from Ross' hands.
Ross won't let go. "Hey man. Share. Make the world a happy place." Ross smiles to
Gunther. A little freaked out Gunther returns to the counter. An on-looking customer
places his order with Gunther, "I'll have what he's having,"
Joey's Apartment
Joey and Ashley enter kissing heavily. They start removing their clothes. She rubs her
left hand through Joey's hair. It catches. "Ouchhh!" Joey says. "Oh sorry, my wedding
ring. Damn thing always gets in the way." Ashley says casually. "You're married?" Joey
asks. "Yep." She says kissing Joey again. "Cooool." They make their way to Joey's room
leaving a trail of clothes behind.
Central Park
Chandler and Monica are rollerblading on the sidewalk. Chandler's wearing a grey athletic
tee and navy shorts. Monica is wearing a black sports bra and short little black shorts.
They are holding hands. "See, it's just like when you played hockey. Just not on ice." "And
I don't have to wear a cup," Chandler adds smiling. Ahead there is a man sitting on a park
bench. He looks grumpy and as they pass him he says, "Hey I didn't know you could take
your hooker rollerblading." Hearing this Chandler turns around swiftly and smoothly,
glaring at the man. "Chandler, don't worry about him. Let's go." Monica says hurt, tugging
on his sleeve. "What the fuck did you just say?" Chandler says approaching the man
furiously. "What? I was just observing you and your hooker friend." The man says rolling
his eyes. Chandler grabs the man by the front of his shirt and angrily lifts him to his
feet. Chandler punches the guy in the face and the man comes back up and hits Chandler,
busting his lip. "Chandler!" Monica says trying to get to him but they are too involved in
their fight. Chandler recoils and pulls back. With everything he has, Chandler reaches back
and hits the man in face again, this time right between the eyes. The man falls to the
ground. Chandler skates over to him and puts his rollerblade between the man's legs. "Is
there anything you'd like to say to my girlfriend?" Chandler says slowly applying pressure
with the wheels. "I'm, I'm sorry." "Good." Chandler says lifting the guy back to his feet
by his shirt. He throws him back on the bench where the man was first sitting. "Don't
ever fuck with her or me again." Chandler says. The man looks at him scared and nods his
head. Chandler rollerblades back over to Monica holding his lip. Monica has tears in her
eyes, "Honey, your lip." "It'll be ok." Chandler says smiling and taking her hand as they
start rollerblading again. "Well, hey, now it's just like when I played hockey. I may even
wear a cup next time we go." Chandler jokes. "What a jack-ass." Monica says. "I'm sorry
honey." Chandler says being serious for the first time since the fight. "Chandler, it wasn't
your fault. He was just being a dickhead. I'm glad you kicked his ass." "I did didn't I?"
Chandler asks proudly. Monica nods and smiles. Chandler laughs, "I can't wait to tell Joey
and Ross I kicked someone's ass today." Monica laughs and rubs his back. He puts his arm
over her shoulders. "You know, you getting so mad when that guy insulted me, kinda turned
me on. You're so sexy when you're mad." They look at each other smiling then start
skating faster.
Later; Chandler and Monica's Apartment
Monica is sitting on Chandler's lap holding an icepack to his lip. Ross is laying on the
couch and Phoebe and Rachel are at the table. Joey walks in smiling very big. Seeing this,
Chandler says cautiously, "Hey Joe." "Whoa! What happened to your lip?" Joey asks
amazed. "I kicked someone's ass today." Chandler says proudly. "Well I slept with a
married woman!" Joey says even more proud. "What?!?!" Everyone asks shocked. "Oh yeah.
Wow was she hot." Joey says daydreaming. "Joey, you slept with a married woman?" Monica
asks. "Yeah!" Joey says getting excited again. The girls roll their eyes. Ross starts
laughing. "He's so gone." Rachel says amused. "Hey, speaking of gonewhat happened to the
front of your grandma's taxi Pheebs?" Joey asks. Everyone laughs. "Well it seems why you
were out getting some ass, our good friend Phoebe became a fugitive." Chandler says
confusing Joey even more. "We hit a car, so what?" Phoebe says. "It was a police car!
AND you ran!" Rachel finishes. "Wow." Ross says admiring a pillow. Everyone looks at him
giggling. "And who said Sunday's were boring." Monica states smiling and putting more ice
on Chandler's lip. "So Chandler, why'd you kick this guy's ass anyway?" Joey asks.
"He pissed me off." Chandler says looking at Monica and rubbing her back.
The Next Morning: Chandler and Monica's Room
Monday morning was always the worst. Waking up, slightly hung-over from the weekend and
going to a place where you have to WORK. No more sleeping in, no more relaxation. "Oh
shit, I'm late!" Chandler reaches over and picks the alarm clock up off of the floor.
"Sweetie, honey, wake up." Chandler says lightly shaking Monica. "What time is it?" Monica
asks sleepily shielding her eyes from sun pouring in from the slightly covered window.
"Like quarter to seven," Chandler says pulling on some khakis out of the closet. "Oh no,
you're going to be late." "Hope not!" Chandler says buttoning up his collared work shirt
smiling at her. Monica gets up and picks out a tie. "Wear this one today. It brings out
your eyes." She says wrapping a dark blue tie around his neck carefully popping a kiss to
his upper lip. Chandler smiles, "Can you tie it for me?" "Sure, here's your watch." Monica
hands him his watch off of the nightstand. Chandler puts his watch on as Monica ties his
tie. "Ok, there you go." "Do I have time for breakfast?" Chandler says suggestively pulling
Monica close. Laughing she replies, "Well, I wish, but no. You have ten minutes to get
there." "Aww you're just saying that cause you're scared of my lip." Chandler says
laughing and trying to be pitiful. "Oh you know that's not it or you wouldn't be half as
satisfied as you are this morning." Monica says smiling. "What time are you going in to
work today?" Chandler asks still holding her close. "Probably around 9." "Have a wonderful
day at work then. I need to go. I guess I can go in public like this." Chandler says
doubtfully, leaving Monica with a somewhat passionate kiss, being careful not to hurt his
lip. Five seconds pass before Chandler walks back through the door. "No I don't think I
can do it. Why don't I just call in sick?" Chandler says as Monica laughs. "You pass a
mirror?" Monica asks laughing. "Oh yeah."
Part 4 in six Weeks