Chapter 3 - Change of Heart
Lady Aisheteru: Well, you know what they say, what goes around comes
around. Way bad karma.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. There. I said it.
~*~*~*~
If You're Gone
matchbox twenty
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
~*~*~*~
"Usagi! It's time to get up!"
"Just a few more z's..."
"No! We're going to be late to Figure Drawing!"
"I'm not going!"
"But Usa-chan! You've got only got three absences, then Ms. Tuttle
will fail you for sure!"
"Then consider this the first!"
"It's...because of Mamoru, isn't it?" said Minako, her arms crossed.
Usagi sat up, her eyes red from crying for most of the night.
"I...can't face him," she said, sniffing.
"Come ON, Usagi! You can't avoid him forever," she said.
"It's a big campus. Just watch me try!"
Minako slapped her forehead. She was normally a caring and
compassionate individual, but even she had her limits. She yanked the
sheets off Usagi and dragged her out of bed. "Oooh! Damn it! You are
GOING to class, whether you like it or not!"
Intimidated by the unusually demanding tone in Minako's voice, Usagi
got up and walked towards the shower, her shoulders slumped in defeat.
'Wow. Normally, Usagi would have given me an earache for sure,'
thought Minako. She was going to get Usagi to talk, even if it took
all day. 'It's not like her to keep her feelings all bottled up like
that. Something must really be bothering her. And as her friend, I'm
going to find out what that is.'
~*~*~*~
After looking at his watch, Mamoru saw that he had arrived at Okinawa
U half an hour early. 'Good,' he thought. 'That gives me some time
to prepare.' He took a large bag and headed inside.
"Mamoru, you don't look so good. Are you okay?" asked Ms. Tuttle, her
pancake face laden with concern.
"Yeah, I'm okay," said Mamoru, and mentally added, 'For someone who's
had their heart slammed into a blender and liquefied on frappe, I'm
just dandy.'
"Are you sure? I don't want my models feeling anything less than
their best,"' said Ms. Tuttle.
"Yeah, I just had a rough night, that's all," he said.
He wasn't really lying; Mamoru had an awful night. He spent it
tossing and turning in his
bed, remembering every insult, every "Odango Atama," every argument he
had ever had with Usagi. He was tormented by regret and remorse. The
digits on his alarm clock had begun to bleed into a red blob when the
alarm went off at 6:30, and he gave up trying to sleep.
"OK, then. Well, class doesn't start for another 20 minutes. Why
don't you take a break?" asked Ms. Tuttle.
Mamoru smiled. "OK, see you in 20."
Hardly anyone was on campus. Mamoru decided to take advantage of this
opportunity. He darted towards the campus office and tested the door
handle. He smiled. 'Unlocked.' He felt like some kind of creepy
stalker lurking there, but he was a desperate man. He went over to
the part where the student records are kept and he flipped through the
book until he found what he was looking for. 'Tsukino Usagi. Locker
located in building 12. Good. That's not far from here,' he thought.
He took the bag to Usagi's locker and tested the lock.
Mamoru frowned when he found the lock in perfect working order. But
he was nothing if not persistent. He was an ace in his statistics
class, and he quickly found the correct combination. He gently placed
the bag inside Usagi's locker and began the walk back to class.
~*~*~*~
"OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" exclaimed a very rushed Usagi,
followed closely by Minako.
"I TOLD you to get out of bed, baka!" shouted Minako.
Usagi was just about to flip Minako the bird when she ran straight
into Mamoru.
Usagi took something out of her bag and shoved it in Mamoru's hand.
"Here's your clothes back," she said, never making eye contact. "Come
on, Minako, we'd best be going," she said, walking off to her locker.
Minako walked over to Mamoru and gave him a sympathetic look "Don't
give up," whispered Minako. She hurried over to her own locker, and
Mamoru walked away.
Usagi opened her locker and gasped. It looked like a flower truck had
crashed and dumped its contents into her locker. Sticking out of a bag
in front of her was a dozen roses, some lilacs and carnations, a small
stuffed bunny and a note. Usagi opened up the note. It said a mere
two words, 'Forgive me?'
Usagi promptly ripped up the note. Tears flowing freely down her
face, she gathered up her art supplies and rushed off to class.
'Okay,' thought Mamoru, who was watching from a distance, 'That didn't
work. On to plan B.'
"Good morning class," sang Ms. Tuttle. "We shall resume drawing the
male figure," she said. Mamoru walked in wearing the silk black robe.
"Well, shall we begin?"
Mamoru took off his robe. He stood there, cold and naked, his
shoulders drooping and his eyes cast low. Even though he was very
well built, he looked more like a sad little boy, not the self assured
model who had posed for the class on Friday.
Usagi saw the look on his face. 'He's heartbroken,' she thought.
'Good.' Her anger overrode her sadness as she drew Mamoru with bold,
angry lines, her strokes thundering down the paper. Ms. Tuttle moved
around the classroom, inspecting her student's work. She stopped when
she saw Usagi's. "Excellent, Ms. Tsukino. Such raw anger and
powerful lines!" she exclaimed. "It draws me in. Okay, class is over
for the day. See you Friday! Ja ne!" she said, waving her hand.
Mamoru put on his robe and walked slowly to his dressing room, his
feet dragging as he went.
"Come on, Minako," said Usagi, her voice shaky as she watched Mamoru
go. "Let's get out of here."
Minako nodded and they walked over to her car to drive across campus
to their next class. She gasped when she saw her car.
"What is it, Mina-chan?" asked Usagi, a little behind Minako.
Minako just pointed to the car.
Usagi also gasped when she saw it. A rose was pinned down by a
windshield wiper, a small box under it. Usagi got into the car and
opened the box. Inside was a gold chain necklace, a dainty diamond
hanging down the middle. Usagi just sat and stared at the necklace in
her hands, her eyes filling with tears.
Minako pulled over. "Okay, Usagi. It's time you came clean. Spill."
she said.
Usagi looked over at Minako, her lip quivering. "It's Mamoru!" she
wailed between sobs. "He's that same guy we knew in high school! The
one who always made fun of me and made me feel about an inch tall!"
Minako blinked. She knew he looked familiar. "I don't think it was
him, Usa."
"But it was! He made me feel so worthless!"
"No, it wasn't. People change, Usagi. I mean, look at you. When I
met you, you were an immature, whiny clutz. I never thought you'd
make it as Sailor Moon. But you've proven me wrong. You've grown,
matured and got stronger, both as a senshi and as a person. You
refused to let anything keep you down."
"Yeah," Usagi said, brightening up
.
"I'm betting Mamoru has changed as well. He's not the same person
that he was. Neither are you. What's past is past. I know you still
love him, Usagi. And I know that you have a heart the size of Japan.
Somewhere in there must be a place for him." said Minako.
"I'm still not sure, Minako. I need some time."
Minako smiled. "OK. If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for
you."
"I know," said Usagi. Minako pulled out and they finished the journey
to math class.
~*~*~
Later, Usagi had convinced Minako to let her borrow the car. She
needed to do some serious thinking. She pulled into a parking spot
and walked over to the beach, where she would let the sound of the
waves crashing would soothe her troubled mind. She pulled out
Minako's old fire blanket, which she kept in the car for emergencies,
and sat down on it, watching the ocean tide.
She pulled out the diamond necklace that she had kept in her pocket
and watched the rays of the setting sun pass through it. For what it
was worth, she believed Minako. She remembered Mamoru's behavior when
he was younger. He always had a nose in his book and kept to himself,
the picture of restraint and isolation. Behind those cold blue eyes
was a man who had constructed a high wall around his soul and would
not allow anyone to break in.
During the past few days, Usagi had seen an entirely different Mamoru.
This Mamoru was easygoing, impetuous, fun loving, romantic and caring
...none of the things she had seen in Mamoru in the past.
"Hey," said a deep voice, interrupting her thoughts. Usagi looked up
to see a nervous looking Mamoru. "Can I sit here?"
"Sure," said Usagi.
They stared out into the ocean for awhile, watching the sun set. When
the sun had completed its descent into the horizon and the sky was
nothing but stars, Mamoru broke the silence.
"I'm so sorry, Usako. I never meant to hurt you," he said.
"Well, you sure did a good job of it," snapped Usagi.
"I know. I was...afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of you. Of me."
Usagi turned her face towards him, a puzzled expression on her face.
"All my life, I had been alone. People looked, but they never
touched. Until I met you. From the moment that test paper smacked me
on the head, I knew that there was something special about you.
Something I couldn't put my finger on. And I was afraid of it."
He took a deep breath and continued, "Every time your eyes looked into
mine, I knew that you could see it, deep inside of my soul. Even
then, I knew it. I knew that if I let you get too close, you would
break down the walls I had put up to protect myself. So I kept my
distance, insulting you and pushing you away. I was afraid that you
would see past the arrogant Azabu student facade and find out what a
messed up and lonely person I really was inside. I never meant to
hurt you, and I definitely didn't mean to make you cry," he said,
wiping the tears from Usagi's face. "I hope you can find it in your
heart to forgive..."
Mamoru was unable to finish, as Usagi had pinned Mamoru to the ground,
and began kissing his mouth.
"I...take it...that....you...forgive me?" said Mamoru between kisses.
"Hai!" said Usagi. "Aisheteru, Mamo-chan," she said, snuggling up to
his chest.
"Aisheteru, Usako," he said, inhaling the fragrance of her hair. He
sat up and gathered her in his lap. He took the necklace from Usagi's
hand and clasped it into her neck.
"It's beautiful, Mamo-chan. Hey, look, there's a shooting star!" she
said, pointing to a white blaze in the sky.
"What did you wish for?" asked Usagi.
"I already have everything I could possibly want," said Mamoru. "What
about you?"
Usagi smiled coyly. "I wished for this," she said, turning around so
she was facing Mamoru. She leaned in, and he responded in kind,
returning the earth-shattering kiss. The first of many.
~*~*~*~
Lady Aisheteru: I hope you enjoyed that. Stick around for the
epilogue!
Lady Aisheteru: Well, you know what they say, what goes around comes
around. Way bad karma.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. There. I said it.
~*~*~*~
If You're Gone
matchbox twenty
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
~*~*~*~
"Usagi! It's time to get up!"
"Just a few more z's..."
"No! We're going to be late to Figure Drawing!"
"I'm not going!"
"But Usa-chan! You've got only got three absences, then Ms. Tuttle
will fail you for sure!"
"Then consider this the first!"
"It's...because of Mamoru, isn't it?" said Minako, her arms crossed.
Usagi sat up, her eyes red from crying for most of the night.
"I...can't face him," she said, sniffing.
"Come ON, Usagi! You can't avoid him forever," she said.
"It's a big campus. Just watch me try!"
Minako slapped her forehead. She was normally a caring and
compassionate individual, but even she had her limits. She yanked the
sheets off Usagi and dragged her out of bed. "Oooh! Damn it! You are
GOING to class, whether you like it or not!"
Intimidated by the unusually demanding tone in Minako's voice, Usagi
got up and walked towards the shower, her shoulders slumped in defeat.
'Wow. Normally, Usagi would have given me an earache for sure,'
thought Minako. She was going to get Usagi to talk, even if it took
all day. 'It's not like her to keep her feelings all bottled up like
that. Something must really be bothering her. And as her friend, I'm
going to find out what that is.'
~*~*~*~
After looking at his watch, Mamoru saw that he had arrived at Okinawa
U half an hour early. 'Good,' he thought. 'That gives me some time
to prepare.' He took a large bag and headed inside.
"Mamoru, you don't look so good. Are you okay?" asked Ms. Tuttle, her
pancake face laden with concern.
"Yeah, I'm okay," said Mamoru, and mentally added, 'For someone who's
had their heart slammed into a blender and liquefied on frappe, I'm
just dandy.'
"Are you sure? I don't want my models feeling anything less than
their best,"' said Ms. Tuttle.
"Yeah, I just had a rough night, that's all," he said.
He wasn't really lying; Mamoru had an awful night. He spent it
tossing and turning in his
bed, remembering every insult, every "Odango Atama," every argument he
had ever had with Usagi. He was tormented by regret and remorse. The
digits on his alarm clock had begun to bleed into a red blob when the
alarm went off at 6:30, and he gave up trying to sleep.
"OK, then. Well, class doesn't start for another 20 minutes. Why
don't you take a break?" asked Ms. Tuttle.
Mamoru smiled. "OK, see you in 20."
Hardly anyone was on campus. Mamoru decided to take advantage of this
opportunity. He darted towards the campus office and tested the door
handle. He smiled. 'Unlocked.' He felt like some kind of creepy
stalker lurking there, but he was a desperate man. He went over to
the part where the student records are kept and he flipped through the
book until he found what he was looking for. 'Tsukino Usagi. Locker
located in building 12. Good. That's not far from here,' he thought.
He took the bag to Usagi's locker and tested the lock.
Mamoru frowned when he found the lock in perfect working order. But
he was nothing if not persistent. He was an ace in his statistics
class, and he quickly found the correct combination. He gently placed
the bag inside Usagi's locker and began the walk back to class.
~*~*~*~
"OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" exclaimed a very rushed Usagi,
followed closely by Minako.
"I TOLD you to get out of bed, baka!" shouted Minako.
Usagi was just about to flip Minako the bird when she ran straight
into Mamoru.
Usagi took something out of her bag and shoved it in Mamoru's hand.
"Here's your clothes back," she said, never making eye contact. "Come
on, Minako, we'd best be going," she said, walking off to her locker.
Minako walked over to Mamoru and gave him a sympathetic look "Don't
give up," whispered Minako. She hurried over to her own locker, and
Mamoru walked away.
Usagi opened her locker and gasped. It looked like a flower truck had
crashed and dumped its contents into her locker. Sticking out of a bag
in front of her was a dozen roses, some lilacs and carnations, a small
stuffed bunny and a note. Usagi opened up the note. It said a mere
two words, 'Forgive me?'
Usagi promptly ripped up the note. Tears flowing freely down her
face, she gathered up her art supplies and rushed off to class.
'Okay,' thought Mamoru, who was watching from a distance, 'That didn't
work. On to plan B.'
"Good morning class," sang Ms. Tuttle. "We shall resume drawing the
male figure," she said. Mamoru walked in wearing the silk black robe.
"Well, shall we begin?"
Mamoru took off his robe. He stood there, cold and naked, his
shoulders drooping and his eyes cast low. Even though he was very
well built, he looked more like a sad little boy, not the self assured
model who had posed for the class on Friday.
Usagi saw the look on his face. 'He's heartbroken,' she thought.
'Good.' Her anger overrode her sadness as she drew Mamoru with bold,
angry lines, her strokes thundering down the paper. Ms. Tuttle moved
around the classroom, inspecting her student's work. She stopped when
she saw Usagi's. "Excellent, Ms. Tsukino. Such raw anger and
powerful lines!" she exclaimed. "It draws me in. Okay, class is over
for the day. See you Friday! Ja ne!" she said, waving her hand.
Mamoru put on his robe and walked slowly to his dressing room, his
feet dragging as he went.
"Come on, Minako," said Usagi, her voice shaky as she watched Mamoru
go. "Let's get out of here."
Minako nodded and they walked over to her car to drive across campus
to their next class. She gasped when she saw her car.
"What is it, Mina-chan?" asked Usagi, a little behind Minako.
Minako just pointed to the car.
Usagi also gasped when she saw it. A rose was pinned down by a
windshield wiper, a small box under it. Usagi got into the car and
opened the box. Inside was a gold chain necklace, a dainty diamond
hanging down the middle. Usagi just sat and stared at the necklace in
her hands, her eyes filling with tears.
Minako pulled over. "Okay, Usagi. It's time you came clean. Spill."
she said.
Usagi looked over at Minako, her lip quivering. "It's Mamoru!" she
wailed between sobs. "He's that same guy we knew in high school! The
one who always made fun of me and made me feel about an inch tall!"
Minako blinked. She knew he looked familiar. "I don't think it was
him, Usa."
"But it was! He made me feel so worthless!"
"No, it wasn't. People change, Usagi. I mean, look at you. When I
met you, you were an immature, whiny clutz. I never thought you'd
make it as Sailor Moon. But you've proven me wrong. You've grown,
matured and got stronger, both as a senshi and as a person. You
refused to let anything keep you down."
"Yeah," Usagi said, brightening up
.
"I'm betting Mamoru has changed as well. He's not the same person
that he was. Neither are you. What's past is past. I know you still
love him, Usagi. And I know that you have a heart the size of Japan.
Somewhere in there must be a place for him." said Minako.
"I'm still not sure, Minako. I need some time."
Minako smiled. "OK. If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for
you."
"I know," said Usagi. Minako pulled out and they finished the journey
to math class.
~*~*~
Later, Usagi had convinced Minako to let her borrow the car. She
needed to do some serious thinking. She pulled into a parking spot
and walked over to the beach, where she would let the sound of the
waves crashing would soothe her troubled mind. She pulled out
Minako's old fire blanket, which she kept in the car for emergencies,
and sat down on it, watching the ocean tide.
She pulled out the diamond necklace that she had kept in her pocket
and watched the rays of the setting sun pass through it. For what it
was worth, she believed Minako. She remembered Mamoru's behavior when
he was younger. He always had a nose in his book and kept to himself,
the picture of restraint and isolation. Behind those cold blue eyes
was a man who had constructed a high wall around his soul and would
not allow anyone to break in.
During the past few days, Usagi had seen an entirely different Mamoru.
This Mamoru was easygoing, impetuous, fun loving, romantic and caring
...none of the things she had seen in Mamoru in the past.
"Hey," said a deep voice, interrupting her thoughts. Usagi looked up
to see a nervous looking Mamoru. "Can I sit here?"
"Sure," said Usagi.
They stared out into the ocean for awhile, watching the sun set. When
the sun had completed its descent into the horizon and the sky was
nothing but stars, Mamoru broke the silence.
"I'm so sorry, Usako. I never meant to hurt you," he said.
"Well, you sure did a good job of it," snapped Usagi.
"I know. I was...afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of you. Of me."
Usagi turned her face towards him, a puzzled expression on her face.
"All my life, I had been alone. People looked, but they never
touched. Until I met you. From the moment that test paper smacked me
on the head, I knew that there was something special about you.
Something I couldn't put my finger on. And I was afraid of it."
He took a deep breath and continued, "Every time your eyes looked into
mine, I knew that you could see it, deep inside of my soul. Even
then, I knew it. I knew that if I let you get too close, you would
break down the walls I had put up to protect myself. So I kept my
distance, insulting you and pushing you away. I was afraid that you
would see past the arrogant Azabu student facade and find out what a
messed up and lonely person I really was inside. I never meant to
hurt you, and I definitely didn't mean to make you cry," he said,
wiping the tears from Usagi's face. "I hope you can find it in your
heart to forgive..."
Mamoru was unable to finish, as Usagi had pinned Mamoru to the ground,
and began kissing his mouth.
"I...take it...that....you...forgive me?" said Mamoru between kisses.
"Hai!" said Usagi. "Aisheteru, Mamo-chan," she said, snuggling up to
his chest.
"Aisheteru, Usako," he said, inhaling the fragrance of her hair. He
sat up and gathered her in his lap. He took the necklace from Usagi's
hand and clasped it into her neck.
"It's beautiful, Mamo-chan. Hey, look, there's a shooting star!" she
said, pointing to a white blaze in the sky.
"What did you wish for?" asked Usagi.
"I already have everything I could possibly want," said Mamoru. "What
about you?"
Usagi smiled coyly. "I wished for this," she said, turning around so
she was facing Mamoru. She leaned in, and he responded in kind,
returning the earth-shattering kiss. The first of many.
~*~*~*~
Lady Aisheteru: I hope you enjoyed that. Stick around for the
epilogue!