---Ch 3--- A Letter to Louise, or Maybe Sarah---
Dan couldn't believe his luck. He was kicked out of Abby's office before he even came close to resolving his problem. "Where can I turn now?" Dan asked himself as he stepped of the elevator. Before the words were even of his mouth, Jeremy stepped directly into Dan's sight. "Jeremy!"
"Dan!" Jeremy mirrored Dan's enthusiastic tone.
"I have a question." Danny grinned as he placed a hand on Jeremy's shoulder, and began leading him down the hall towards editing.
"I have an answer." Jeremy smirked. "However, I have no need to be in editing. I was just in here."
"With Natalie?" Dan asked with a knowing grin. One of Natalie's favorite earrings sat on top of a control board. Dan carefully picked up the piece of jewelry, and waved it in front of Jeremy's face.
Jeremy tried to grab the evidence, however, he failed miserably. "Dan." Jeremy groaned; trying to think of something to do. "What do you want to know?" He hoped by steering Dan back to his question the earring would be forgotten.
"Dan started to sit down, but mental images of what had obviously transpired earlier kept him from getting comfortable. "We need to go somewhere else." Dan demanded. "Where else is private?
"Why do you keep trying to get me alone?" Jeremy asked with a worried grin. "You are not going to ask me out, are you?"
Dan laughed as he followed Jeremy down the hall. They stopped in front of a door in the corner of the building. Upon opening the door, he found a very spacious corner office with an amazing view of the city. "Where are we?"
"Casey's office." Jeremy answered with a shrug. "You have never been in here?"
"I didn't even know it existed, until yesterday." Dan admitted. "There are no glass walls into the office interior."
"Which is what makes it private." Jeremy no longer found the exchange entertaining. "What is it that you want to know?"
"Who do you ask when you need advice?" Dan asked bluntly.
"Advice about what? I give great advice." Jeremy sincerely wanted to help his friend with whatever was troubling him. Or at least he wanted the conversation to end.
"I am sure you do, my friend. However, I need to talk to somebody outside of the office." Dan explained.
"You don't have any friends?"
"Outside of Sports Night? No." Dan realized that was more than a little depressing.
"I always write to my sister, Louise." Jeremy answered while silently wondering how a man as friendly, outgoing and marginally famous as Dan had no outside friends.
"She helps?" Dan eyes shined with a new glimmer of hope.
"Usually." Jeremy nodded. Before he had a chance to say anything else, Dan left.
Before returning to his office, Dan searched for Natalie. "Hey," He greeted her happily when he finally ran into her. "Missing something?" He asked with a devilish grin.
"Aside from your script for tonight's episode?" Natalie glared at Dan playfully.
"Aside from that, yes." Dan agreed.
"I have my job back, I have my boyfriend back, and I can tease you anytime I want? I am complete." Natalie grinned from ear to ear.
"Hmmm. You have all that, and yet, you are only wearing one earring." Dan smirked.
Natalie brought her hands up to each of her earlobes, and found one of her lucky earrings missing. "Give it to me, Danny." She demanded without any trace of amusement.
"Only if you answer a question for me." Dan smiled. "Who do you ask when you need advice, outside of the office?" Dan added the last part as an afterthought.
"Why can't you talk to somebody in the office? Is something going on? Are you thinking of quitting?" Natalie began panicking. "Who will I tease?"
"I didn't say I was leaving, Natalie. I just want to know who you talk to."
"Jeremy's sister, Louise." Natalie sighed. "Promise you are not leaving?"
"She must be something else." Dan smiled as he handed Natalie her earring. "Thanks." He walked back to his office before Natalie had a chance to say anything else.
"Where have you been all day"?" Casey teasingly tapped his watch to point out Dan's tardiness.
"Paying homage to my scores of adoring fans." Dan's eyes sparkled with a mischievous grin while he opened his laptop to begin writing his own letter to Louise.
"Likely story." Casey smirked. "What are you working on?" Casey hoped it was the script.
"I am writing a letter." Dan glanced up at Casey only long enough to answer his question. The look in his eye made it obvious, to Casey, that Dan had no intention of answering any more questions until after he was done.
Dan labored over the letter for over an hour. He wrote and deleted the same series of sentences so many times he made himself dizzy. After having the feelings bottled up for so long, he couldn't imagine where to begin. Finally, realizing he could not get much better without giving himself a severe case of carpel tunnel, Dan printed off the letter, and placed it in an envelope. "Done." He smiled triumphantly as he placed the letter on the edge of his desk.
"Louise?" Casey asked curiously. "A new flavor of the month?"
"Jeremy's sister." Dan answered without giving any further explanation.
"What about my sister?" Having heard Louise mentioned, Jeremy rushed into the office.
"We need to learn to close the door." Dan quipped before handing the letter to Jeremy. "Could you mail this? I do not have the address."
"You wrote to my sister?" Jeremy couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"You told me to write her." Dan searched Jeremy's expression. He didn't have any inkling of what had upset his friend.
"I told you I wrote her. I never said you should." To further illustrate that he had no desire to have Danny contact his sister, Jeremy tore the letter in half. "You have a sister; write to her. Without another word, Jeremy left the office.
"Maybe she could help." Dan contemplated the possibilities as he tried to remember if he had filed his sister under S for Sarah or R for Rydell.
"Help with what, Danny?" Dan had said precious little all day, and Casey was beginning to seriously miss the banter.
"Not important, Case." Dan brushed Casey off without looking up. Every time he looked at Casey, Dan thought about the events of the night before. Usually he enjoyed stealing glances at Casey. Memorizing looks and expressions to incorporate into his nightly fantasies, gave Dan strength. He loved trading pointless conversation with the man across from him, if only to hear the very slight Minnesota accent. Dan lived to watch the ends of Casey's mouth turn up, signaling the beginning of a heartwarming smile. Dan often found himself watching Casey fight off boredom by practicing his hook shot. The way Casey's chest muscles rippled under his shirt would make anybody swoon. In fact, Dan spent a considerable amount of time trying to bring a home gym into the office.
Dan desperately tried to shake off the mental image of a shirtless Casey doing bench presses right in front of him. "God I need help." Dan groaned as he imagined Casey wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts while strengthening his shapely calves.
"No arguments here, Partner." Casey concluded before walking out of the office, desperate for anybody to talk to.
"Dear Sarah." Dan typed. If he couldn't talk to somebody he was going to explode.
---Ch 4--- Dinner And A Memory ---
Dan nervously tapped his fingers on a small table in the back of the Carnegie Deli. He wasn't sure that the deli, popular to New York natives and tourists alike, was the best place for the meeting, but Sarah had insisted.
"Danny!" An enthusiastic woman shouted from the front of the restaurant.
Way to remain inconspicuous; Dan groaned silently. Before he could think anything else, he was enveloped in a tight, warm embrace. "Sarah!" Dan exclaimed happily. He had forgotten that hugs from members of his family could be so warm.
"I am so glad you emailed me." The tall, slender brunette jubilantly began as she took a seat across the table from Dan. "It has been far too long, big brother."
Dan couldn't help but smile. Sarah had been an excellent choice, and the friendly reception was exactly what Dan needed to put his mind at ease. "I wasn't sure you would come." Dan admitted.
"You weren't sure I was in New York." Sarah's demeanor soured a little as she looked into her brother's eyes. You haven't called me in years. We haven't had dinner like this since Sam died."
Dan stared down at the table unable to look at the pain in his sister's eyes. "I didn't think anybody wanted to hear from me." Dan sighed. "Mom and Dad didn't, not at first."
"Well I did." Sarah took Dan's hand and forced him to look up at her. "I desperately wanted to hear from you. When I was little, you used to take me here for sweets after school. Do you remember that? You would order a piece of cheesecake and two chocolate milks, and I would tell you everything that was going on with me. I used to live for those special days. Mom and Dad were always too busy, Sam always had plan of his own, and David had already left for Stanford.
"After Sam died I snuck into his room. He had Catcher in the Rye for summer reading; he never finished it. I did. I devoured it. I identified with Pheobe. She had one brother in California, one brother gone, and another lost, alone, and hurting. I used to think you were going to sneak into my room one night, just like Holden, and bring me here, or to central park, or anywhere. You never did."
"I thought you blamed me for Sam, just like David and our parents did. Just like I did."
Sarah smiled weakly. "It wasn't your fault, Danny. You weren't there. You didn't give him the pot, you didn't smoke it with him, and you certainly never made him get into that car. You set a bad example, one he followed, but Sam was a bright kid. He knew what could happen, he got high, and he didn't think. That wasn't your fault."
Dan blinked hard to deter the tears that were threatening to fall. "By the time I had enough courage to come home, you had moved to California."
"Well, I am back now. I start graduate school, at Columbia, in the fall. So, lets make a deal. We make dinner a semi regular thing, and all is forgiven? What do you say?"
"Sounds like a plan, but it."
Before Dan could finish his thought, Sarah interrupted. "We are okay, Danny. No more apologies, just a fresh start." To illustrate her point, Sarah quickly changed the subject. "You said, in your email, that you had some sort of problem. What's up?"
"I think." Danny shook his head. "No, I know that I am in love."
"And that is a problem?"
"I am in love with my partner on Sports Night."
"Casey?" Sarah's eyes widened in surprise.
"You have seen the show?" Dan returned the surprised expression.
"No." Sarah rolled her eyes sarcastically. "My big brother has a TV show, and I have never seen it. What kind of person do you think I am? I got cable so I could watch your show. I watch it religiously."
"If only I could get you a Nielson box." Dan quipped in an effort to conceal how moved he was by his sister's gesture.
"You wish." Sarah smirked. "You are in love with Casey? Casey McCall? Casey with the silky blonde hair, the blue eyes, and the million dollar smile? Good taste. You guys have such great chemistry. I can't believe I never saw it before."
"You didn't miss anything. We are not lovers. I am in love with him. It doesn't go both ways." The disappointment in Dan's voice was more than obvious. "There has never been anything to give me any indication that he might feel the same way, that he is even capable of feeling the same way. Well, nothing to speak of, anyway."
"But something?" Sarah prodded.
"One night, a lifetime ago." Dan closed his eyes and let the memory of the one night in Minneapolis wash over him. Casey made his way up to Dan's room with a bottle of Jaegermeister that was left over from the party. With little encouragement, the men continued the party well into the night. With their inhibitions suppressed by the alcohol, words were exchanged in a haze of a heady drunkenness. And the first kiss, long and hard, tasted of Jaeger. Not that Dam minded. When introduced by Casey's rough tongue, the taste was welcomed, desired, even craved. Hungry kisses could not quell the appetite Dan felt growing inside of him.
Casey moved his exploratory kisses downward. Tasting each new inch of Dan's exposed skin as his fingers, loosening the buttons on Dan's shirt, deftly revealed more flesh. The kisses, wet and fiery against Dan's skin, felt like nothing ever experienced by man, too sweet to be real, yet, too real to be imagined. Dan allowed himself enticed by them. He never had a choice. By the time Casey reached the last button on Dan's shirt, Dan's knees had weakened. With that simple encouragement, Casey's hands eagerly loosened Dan's belt, unbuttoned his jeans, and pressed against Dan's hardened form as they slowly lowered the zipper.
No longer able to stand on his own, Dan brought Casey with him as he fell against the bed. The men barely noticed their change of position. They continued touching, tasting, and exploring until their bodies gave out in a euphoric exhaustion. And then, still tangled up with one another, they drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
Dan sighed as the happy memory faded. One drunken night had turn into one painful morning. As soon as the first light entered the hotel room window, it was over. Knowing they could not continue, Dan got up, showered, shaved and dressed. By the time Casey awoke, all the remnants of the night's activities were long gone. Casey only remembered bringing a full bottle up from the bar. Dan never had the courage to say more.
The single night of passion had stayed with Dan. Before the event he always thought Jaeger tasted of cough syrup. After that night, Jaeger always tasted of Casey. Often times he found himself wearing the bathrobe he had stolen, as if some scent remained on it. Until recently the memories of that night had been enough. Now Dan needed more. Dan smiled weakly as he wondered what Casey needed.
---Ch5---Misunderstandings ----
"A job interview. It has to be a job interview. Natalie paced up and down the floor of Dan and Casey's office. "Where else would he be?" After all the discussion about Dan needing to talk to somebody, Dan had disappeared mysteriously.
"Calm down. He could be at dinner. He does eat sometimes." Casey tried to sound significantly calmer than he felt. Dan had been acting weird all day. He was late for work, he wasn't talking, and he rarely went out before the show. What if Danny had gotten a great offer while the fate of Sports night was still in the air? What if staying with friends wasn't as important to Danny as Laker Girls were? Casey kept running over the scenarios in his head.
Natalie latched onto any hope shoe could. "What do you think he is doing right now?" Natalie prayed Casey would tell her all about Danny's penchant for the Thursday night Lobster special at McClean's Seafood Depot.
Right now? Casey asked himself. Right now Dan is being wined and dined by some ESPN suit. Right now he is signing away over ten years of friendship for beaches and surgically enhanced blonde bimbos. Casey couldn't stop thinking of the possibility that Dan was dissolving their partnership. However, saying it out loud would hurt too much. "I don't know, Natalie. I need to work on my script." Or, maybe I need to be alone; Casey added silently.
"Fine." Natalie pouted. "But that script better be great!" She yelled as she made her way down the hall in search of another confidant.
"Not Likely." Casey groaned as he stared at his blank computer screen. He didn't have a prayer of getting anything done. He always worked better with Dan. One day working alone would not kill him; but what if it was forever? How could he ever write more than a few paragraphs without a playful nudge from his partner?
Casey silently laughed at the irony of it all. Nobody knew. Hell, Danny didn't know. Casey needed Dan. He needed Dan desperately. From the first time they met there was a connection. That connection was what kept Casey fresh. From the day Danny first set foot in the KSAC studios Casey relied on him. Whenever he was stuck, Casey simply made a phone call. Need a sentence? A paragraph? An idea or anything else, all he had to do was ask Dan. Dan had been number one on Casey's speed dial for eleven years, a fact that had driven Lisa crazy for just as long.
She blamed Dan for the dissolution of the NBC deal. She blamed Dan every time she turned on late night TV and wasn't greeted with The Late Night with Casey McCall Show. Lisa never understood. Casey wanted Dan at NBC. He fought the network. He begged to have Danny added to the writing staff. In the end the Network was more than happy with the show minus Dan. Casey had to turn them down. He couldn't make it work without Danny. Sure he could write his way out of a hostage situation, but only if he could banter along the way, and nobody bantered like Dan Rydell.
"Good evening." Dan chirped happily as he walked into his office.
"What's good about it?" Casey grunted under his breath.
"Somebody had a good time while I was gone." Dan smirked sarcastically. "What is the matter? Did you miss me?"
More than you know. Casey answered silently. "You wish. Where have you been?" Casey tried to sound nonchalant as he answered Dan.
"Out to dinner."
"With whom?"
"What, are you afraid I am stepping out on you?" Dan grinned. "And you always say that I am the woman."
"If the shoe fits." Casey quipped.
"The shoe doesn't fit, because you keep trying to put me in cute little suede pumps." Dan smirked.
"Actually, I have always pictured you in heels."
"Why? You are the one with the shapely calves."
"Cute, Danny." Casey sighed.
"Yes I am. Thank you for noticing."
Casey grinned. "There you go again, always fishing for compliments."
Dan shrugged. "It passes the time." He opened his computer screen and began working.
Casey groaned. He wished something would make time pass for him. Every sigh, groan and smirk Danny emitted while writing, pleased Casey immensely. He found the way Danny's brow furrowed while reading over fresh copy undeniably endearing. Casey even enjoyed the way Danny cracked his knuckles when he was searching for the perfect word.
Casey tried to concentrate on something, anything. However, it was no use. Every subject he thought of reminded him of times he spent with Dan. How could Dan be throwing it all away for pom-pom girls and a warm climate?
I almost threw it away; Casey reminded himself. He had been ready to stay in New York while Dan left. But that was for Charlie. Charlie threw himself into school after the divorce. When things were going badly at home, his friends had provided a stable environment. Casey couldn't take his son away from something that meant so much to him? But what reason did Danny have to dissolve their partnership? Couldn't he see that it had been the hardest decision of Casey's adult life? Didn't Danny know ho many sleepless nights Casey spent wrestling with himself? Casey sighed. Obviously splitting up was easier for Danny.
Dan rolled his neck and scooted away from his desk. "Perfect." He grinned as he read the final script changes one last time. "I am brilliant if I do say so myself."
"I bet that is what all of the people in LA think." Casey spat out bitterly.
Dan looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"
"You know." Casey rolled his eyes. He didn't appreciate the games.
Before Dan could answer they were called into wardrobe. It was not the greatest show of their professional careers. Both men seemed more tense than usual, and the control booth operated in semi-functional confusion as Dana and Natalie periodically slipped out to discuss the rumors about Danny' s departure.
"Is it true? Is he leaving?" Dana cornered Casey as soon as he arrived back to his office.
"I don't know." Casey sighed dejectedly.
"We can ask him at Anthony's; I guess. Where is he anyway?"
"He left from the studio. He is probably packing right now." Casey grumbled.
"We have to do something." Dana stormed out in an effort to round up the rest of the staff for a strategy meeting.
Everybody met at Anthony's an hour later. Each person had their own theory about what was going on with Danny. "He is in love with me." Kim quipped. "Knowing he can never have me has become too much for him to bare." She hated the idea of Danny leaving, but she hoped to lighten the somber mood that had fallen over the Sports Night table.
"I thought it was me he is in love with." Elliot pretended to be hurt.
Casey couldn't take it anymore. All the speculation was driving him crazy. Rumors weren't doing them any good. They needed to talk to Danny. They needed to show him how much they cared. That was the only way to make him stay. That is exactly what Casey intended to do. "I have to go." He announced before jumping up from the table and storming out the door.
-----CH 6-A Confession---
Twenty minutes later Casey had arrived at Dan's building, bribed the doorman, and ran up the six flights of stairs to Danny's apartment. Standing breathless in the hallway, Casey's mind raced to decide what he was going to say.
"How can I tell him that I need him?" Casey sank to the ground. "How can I ask him to give up his dream, just because I would miss having him around?" Casey sighed. Big emotional scenes were never his favorite. "Just do it." That was the only option he had left. Casey rose nervously, tapped, and then pounded on Dan's door.
"Where's the fire?" Dan called as he raced to put his jeans back on. Why was it that whenever his fantasies really started to come together somebody always arrived unannounced?
Casey continued knocking. He had to see Dan before his courage failed him.
Dan looked through the peephole, shook his head in disbelief, pinched himself, and looked again. Obviously Casey had figured out how Dan entertained himself in the evenings, and had come to kick his ass. "What do you want?" Danny asked while opening the door.
"You." Casey answered breathlessly.
I must be dreaming; Dan sighed. "Okay, what do you really want?"
"I want you to stay." Casey answered without explanation.
This is my apartment, Case." Dan rolled his eyes. "You couldn't kick me out if you wanted to."
"In New York, Dan. I want you to stay at Sports Night."
Danny shook his head. Either he was dreaming, or Casey had gotten into some bad crack. "Where else would I go?"
"LA." Casey rolled his eyes. It hadn't occurred to him that his hypothesis might be wrong.
"Why would I go there?" Danny collapsed on to the couch. "Sports Night was saved. We still have our jobs, all of us. As a mater of fact, we are all under contract."
Relief was evident on Casey's face as he spoke. "You aren't going anywhere?"
"I thought I might try bed. It looked pretty comfortable before you arrived. I will see you tomorrow." Dan turned and headed to his bedroom. He couldn't help but enjoying the idea that Casey would miss him. It gave him so much more material to work into his nightly fantasies.
"Wait." Casey couldn't let him leave. "You really aren't going?" You promise?"
"What?" Dan rolled his eyes as he turned again to face Casey. "You are worried about never seeing me again?" That was rich. "You didn't care much about that last week."
"What do you mean by that? I had to stay, for Charlie."
"Kid's move all the time, Case." Danny sighed.
"Yeah, we did." Casey slammed down on the couch. "Every time Dad moved up in the company, we moved. I was in five different schools in six years. We always lived in bigger houses, in better neighborhoods, with more elite country clubs, but every time, it got a little harder to make friends. I couldn't do that to my son, no matter how much it hurt me."
Dan dropped his head. "You wanted to go to LA with Dana and me?"
"Of course I did. Dana is a great producer, we put on an outstanding show, and with a little decent publicity we could really get the recognition that we both deserve." Casey emphasized the both.
Danny sighed. The list was far from the point. "You wanted to go for our careers?" The disappointment in his voice was thinly veiled.
"I wanted to stay with you, Dan." Casey sighed. "That is why I have been going crazy all day. I thought you were acting weird because you were moving. I thought this was goodbye."
Danny smiled. "Not even close." If only knew.
"So, what is going on with you?" Casey cocked his head to the side to look into Danny's eyes. "You haven't been yourself all day. Who did you have dinner with? We all assumed it was a station representative from LA."
"You shouldn't assume." Danny grinned as he plopped down on the couch next to Casey. "I had dinner with Sarah."
"New girlfriend?" Casey's voice cracked almost imperceptibly.
Dan smiled. He had no reason to believe that the catch in Casey's voice was anything more than a tickle in his throat, however, just the possibility that it could be something more made Danny's face light up. "What if she is?"
"Just curious." Or insanely jealous, Casey added silently. "It isn't like you to go out without telling me."
"Sarah is my sister, Casey." Danny prayed relief would wash over his friends face.
Casey gave a puzzled look. "You don't see Sarah, not since.."
"My brother died." Dan finished sadly. "I do now. Jeremy thought she might be able to help me solve this problem I have been having."
"Did she?" Casey raised an eyebrow.
"Not in the least." Dan laughed. "But it was great seeing her."
"What is the problem?" Casey changed the subject slightly.
"It is personal." Dan protested.
"So? We are best friends, remember? Just tell me. Maybe I can help.
Danny couldn't help but smile. Casey could help all of his most pressing problems. Dan didn't know what made the words come out of his mouth. Maybe it was fatigue, or idiocy, or temporary insanity, but before he could stop himself it was out in the open. "I am in love with you." He whispered.
"What?" Casey shook his head certain he was hearing things.
Realizing the finality in what he said, Dan had no choice but to continue. "I love you."
"You love me the way you would a brother?" Casey inquired. Dan loved women. Surely he was hearing things.
Dan shook his head. "You know what I mean Casey."
"Like a man loves a woman?" Casey grinned through his astonishment.
"There you go again, always calling me a woman." Danny smirked. "I guess you were closer to the truth than you thought."
"But.but. You have always gone out with women."
"Yeah well, I never thought that having a gay anchor on the team would help our ratings." Dan stood slowly. He couldn't bare it if Casey's demeanor changed. If this was going to change things between them, he would rather deal with it in the morning.
"Where are you going?" Casey whispered. "To bed." Dan muttered unable to look Casey in the eye.
Casey stood and reached out for Dan. Cupping the side of Dan's face Casey forced eye contact between them. He smiled softly as he watched Dan's pained eyes turn towards him. "May I join you?" He asked simply before moving in slightly and bringing his lips to Dan's for a tender kiss.