Britz-Who is the mysterious shadowy figure? What does fa-spitzed mean? (it's Jewish kids) How many ways are there to leave your lover? Why do I keep writing thease damn introductions even when I really have nothing to say? Wheres Waldo? Iv'e decided that I'll answer at least three of those questions the other two I just put in to have the full set of Who, What, Why, Where and How.
Disclaimer-It ain't all good, (thats the truth) and it ain't all mine either I own Nut-shing (what you've never watched 'Welcome back Kotter'?)
DA GATES OF HECK!
(scary huh?)
*A shadowy Andalite figure steps out from behind a tree*
Tobias-NOO! It can't be! No! (Dun Dun DA!) Visser Three duh.. I mean One! *starts to raise his gun but an Andalite tail comes out and chops off his right hand* OW! *clutching at his right arm* Visser Thr-uh One! You killed my father!
Shadowy figure-*very deep voice* No Tobias, (Hmm haah Hmm haah) I am your father. *steps out of the shadows to show it's actually a zombie Elfangor*
Tobias-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOwhy'are'you'still'reading'this?OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh hang on a minute, yes you are.
Elfangor-Come Tobias, join me, submit to the dark side
Tobias-Is that just some sort of slang for some father/son bonding
Elgangor-*normal voice* Uhh.. Sure, why not.
Tobias-Woww *We see inside Tobias's imagination with that song by Cat Stevens playing in the background*
(in imagination) -And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon- *Tobias and Elfangor run through a park flying kites together* -little boy blue and the man in the moon- *Tobias and Elfangor toss a ball to each other in a father/son-ish kind of way* -when your coming home dad I don't know when, but we'll get together then dad, you know we'll have a good time then- *Tobias and Elfangor fish together, Elfangor turns to Tobias and says* I love you son
*And now back to our fic still in progress*
Elfangor-Tobias? *waves his hand in front of Tobias's face*
Tobias-*wakes up, starts sobbing* Oh wow, *hugs Elfangor* I love you, dad
Elfangor-I love you too, son *hugs Tobias back, starts crying in that wimpy father/son bonding in a chick flick kind of way*
Tobias-*between sobs* So this is *sob* what it feels like *sob* when doves cry. *sobbing*
Elfangor-come on son, lets go home *they walk off and both fall down a large plot-hole that appeared since it is so stupid for a zombie to start acting in such a fatherly way and not just eat Tobias's brains. Who writes this crap anyway? Oh right I do. Eh what'cha gonna do?*
*How abouts we follow Marco and Cassie for a bit hmmm?*
Cassie-*firing randomly off-screen*Die! DIE!! Die evil spawn of Hades!!! I'll see you in Hell mother-fuckers!!!! Save me a fucking good seat!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! And I'm spent. *Stops shooting and lays down her gun as the last of her human targets drops dead in to an huge pile of bodys*
Marco-Wow Cassie, in the last hour youv'e killed 8 litter bugs, 12 lumber jacks, 5 bird hunters, a family of inconsiderate campers and an entire troop of boy scouts, how do you feel?
Cassie-Great! Anything to protect our cute furry woodland creatures. Though I'm a little confused as to why so many people would be on a secret zombie infested island.
Marco-Eh what'cha gonna do?
*Marco and Cassie walk around for a while until they see a zombie eating the remains of a Chinese man*
Zombie (to himself)-*while eating Chinese guy* Honestly I don't know why I bother, I'm just gonna be hungry again in an hour.
Cassie-Now thats more than I can God-damn take *jumps into clearing* Killing and eating people is one thing, making stupid Chinese-food jokes, well that just takes things to a whole new level. Prepare to die mother-fucker!!! *she starts to raise her gun but while she was making her little speach the zombie had calmly walked over to her and now he jumped on to her and killed her with an explosion of blood and gore*
Marco-*watching* oh thats just not right. *starts shooting at the zombie*
Zombie-huh? *gets up and starts walking towards Marco*
Marco-AHHHHHH!!!! *keeps shooting, blowing away bits of the zombie then finally shoots it in the head*
Zombie-*feels where it's (ahem) package is and sees that it hasn't been blown off* Oh thank God *falls over dead*
Marco-Jeez, I'd better go find the others. *runs off to find Jake and Rachel*
~To be continued~
Britz-Yeah I know it's a cheap place to end it but if I kept going there wouldn't be another place for ages and the next bloody chapter would be too friggen short.
P.S. It means stressed out and Waldo's always in the last place you look.
P.S.S. (or is it P.P.S.?) Review it, you know you want to.