Britz-Okay, heres the thing I originally planned to only have four chapters plus I want to get this over with without to much thinking so I have no name for this story. Any suggestions? Then write a bloody review!

Disclaimer-It ain't mine and you know it.

THE FIC THAT HAS NO NAME.
(say, thats not to bad. Kind of got a 'I can't belive it's not butter' type ring to it don't ya think?.)

*Scene-Where we left off (where else?)*

Rachel, Marco and Jake-*gasp*

Britz-*lounging in a deck chair* A-hoy-hoy mi amigos

Jake-YOU! What the hell are you doing here?!

Britz-Me? I'm just sitting around, drinking a bud, watching the game.

Jake-True....I mean, why are you here?

Britz-Oh right that, Visser Thre..Um, One hired me to kill you.

Rachel-You work for the Yeerks now?

Britz-Yup.

Marco-But that makes no sense. Why would such a huge Animorphs fan go and work for our sworn enemy and try to destroy us? The only thing saving mankind from total destruction?

Britz-What can I say? I needed a job and they paid better than Macdonalds.

Rachel-That's ridiculous!!

Britz-Really Rachel? which would you rather do help enslave all mankind, or wear one of those little paper hats?

Rachel-Hmm...Youv'e got a point.

Marco-Well...When he's right, he's very right.

Jake-Say I just realised something about this story.

Marco-What about it?

Jake-Didn't we do the whole 'evil-person hiring a fan-fic writer to kill the Animorphs' premise before? Y'know with Mad Cow?

Rachel-Saaay thats right Mad Cow and Doctor Evil. And she just happens to be one of Britz's favourite authors. *turns to Britz* your'e stealing ideas now?

Britz-Oh God no! I came up with this ending AND THEN remembered Mad Cow did that.

Animorphs-*look unconvinced*

Britz-What? It's true I swear!! *whiny* I diiiiiddd.

Marco-*unconvinced* Ah-huh.

Britz-Oh you guys are sooo dead. *yelling into another room*- RALPH! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!!

Jake-Ralph?

Britz-Yep, I watched 'The Simpsons' last night and for some reason I can't get that name out of my head. *yelling*- RALPH! GET IN HERE!!

*suddenly the door is kicked in by a huge Hork-Bajir who lands in the middle of the room*

Ralph(the Hork-Bajir)-HI-YAH!!! *performs a bunch of Hork-Bajir karate-type moves that give his arms this whole 'whirlwind of blades' effect*

Marco-Hmm, impressive.

Jake-Re-he-eally? Well stick this in your crack-pipe and smoke it....Waaaaooo *does that famous 'Karate-Kid' pose* hi-YAH! Hi-YAAAH! *runs towards 'Ralph' doing all sorts of pathetic looking karate moves*

Ralph-*does the Blade-move-thingy again at Jake*

Jake-Pfft, you missed me *his shirt falls in to ribbons* oh shit. *Ralph whips around with his tail and sends Jake flying into a wall* AHHHH!! *BANG!* ow. *he slids to the floor*

Rachel-Hmm, yeah impressive.

Britz-You ain't seen nothing yet. *to Ralph*-Hey Ralph! do that thing. You know that thing that you do.

Ralph-Siiigh *goes over to a table that has a large fish, a clump of seaweed and a small tree on it. then does that 'whirlwind of blades' thing to the three items*

Marco-Ummm...What is the point of all this?

Britz-Just watch. *Ralph finishes, then presents a small wooden basket (complete with chopsticks)filled with Sushi* Ta-Da! Enough Maki-Sushi to choke a sumo-wrestler! What do ya think of that?!

Animorphs-*impressed* Oooh, aaah.

Britz-You got that right. Go ahead *malicious* try some Muahahaha! MUAhahaha!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Animorphs-*all look at Britz in a suspicious way*

Britz-A-hem, a-hem, umm...There was a frog in my throat MUAHAHAHA!!!*he coughs up a frog*

Frog-Ribbet MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ribbet *hops away*

Britz-See what did I tell you? Go ahead and eat some.

Jake-Oh, okay *reaches for some sushi*

Rachel-Umm, Jake I don't think you should do that.

Jake-Oh, what are you worried about? *grabs a piece of sushi and sticks it in his mouth*chewing*-Mmmm, hmmm, mmmm, gulp *his eyes go wide, he falls to the ground and he starts coughing and choking* cough GAG! Urk!

Marco-HEY! What have you done to him!?!

Rachel-You poisoned him! Didn't you? You bastard!!

Britz-I did nothing of the sort.

Jake-Cough! Oooh thats better *gets up* sorry to scare y'all, it just went down the wrong way. I'm better now.

Rachel-Dumb-ass *slaps him on the back of the head*

Jake-Oooow!

Britz-Enough! I tire of this idle chit-chat!

Marco-Whoa dude, who writes your dialog?

Britz-*ignoring Marco* Ralph! Attack!

Ralph-*does a little karate pose* Whoooaaa *runs at them with blades going everywhere*Yaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

Rachel-*moves out of the way and sticks her leg out*

Ralph-*trips over Rachels leg and flys out the window* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHeep!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jake-Wow, sounds like a long way down.

Marco-Hmmm. Aren't we still at ground level?

Britz-Ummm.....Uh.....Theres a cliff that side! Yeah a big old cliff.

Rachel-*looking out window* no there isn't!

Ralph-*who has just lying next to the window screaming 'AHHHH!!' Realises he's been caught out so he gets up and runs away*

Marco-*turns to Britz* I trust you have a good explaination for all that.

Britz-Ummm...Yeah..Sure, why not. Time for plan B! Ha-HA! *pulls a little bottle out of his jacket and throws it at the ground where it explodes into a huge cloud of pink smoke* from inside the smoke*- Bye-bye Muahahaha! MUAhahaha!! Christ this stuff is murder on the eyes MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

*The smoke clears and Britz is still standing there*

Britz-Oh shit! It didn't work did it? Oh well time for plan C! *pulls out the pen that is the source of all his Super presto-Not quite omnipotent-But still not half bad-Writer powers (as seen in MEGA-MURDER-MYSTERY-MORPHS 4) PREPARE TO DIE!! *looks around desperatly for something to write on and can't find anything* oh shit.

Marco-To bad Britz, now hand over that pen.

Britz-You can have my pen when you pry it from my cold dead fingers bitch!

Rachel-That can be arranged *raises her fist*

Britz-Eep! *meekly* here you go. *throws her the pen*

Rachel-Perfect, now we will use your own power to destroy you!

Britz-No wait! You can't do that!!

Marco-Why the hell not?

Britz-Cause thats the exact same way you dealt with Mad Cow in her aforementioned fic.

Marco-So?

Britz-Well you don't want me to get flamed do you?

Rachel-Why the hell not!? You killed the others, you tried to kill us, you practiclly tried to sell out all of man-kind to the evil Yeerks and made a very bad joke about Chinese food in 'DA GATES OF HECK' why on Earth should we care about you getting FLAMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Britz-Well other than all that I'm a nice enough guy.

Rachel-Ooh well okay then. We'll let you off this time, but don't go making bad Chinese food jokes again, alright?

Britz-Oh okay.

Rachel-Good to hear. Heres your pen *throws the pen to Britz but he misses it and it flys off and hits a big red button*

Britz-*scared shit-less* oh crap.

Marco-Why? Whats that button do?

Britz-Its 'Destroy Entire Island' button.

*suddenly a female voice rings out of the speakers*
Voice-Island will self-destruct in 2 minutes, running is advised

Jake-So what does it do?

Britz-*super calm* Jake with a name like 'Destroy Entire Island' button what do you think it does?

Jake-Hang on don't tell me...Don't tell me....

Marco-*ignoring Jake* Who the hell has a 'Destroy Entire Island' button lying around!!!!

Britz-Apparently I do, which on reflection was probaly a bad idea at the time.

Voice-Island will self destruct in 1 and a half minutes, why are you dick-heads standing around talking?

Britz-*remebering the voice* Oh right that....Bye! *Runs away as fast as he can*

Marco-AHH! What are we gonna do!?!?!

Rachel-Calm down, we'll just get the Ellimist to get us out of this *yelling at nothing in particular*-Ellimist?! Ellimist are you there?!

*suddenly an answering machine appears and the Ellimist's voice comes out of it*

Machine-HELLO, YOU HAVE REACHED THE ELLIMIST. I'M NOT HERE RIGHT NOW BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE PLEASE TALK AFTER THE BEEP....HOW DO YOU STOP THIS THING ANY-WAY...OH I'VE GOT IT, THIS BUTTON *beep*

Rachel-Umm you there Ellimist?...We could use a hand here...Ellimist?

Voice-Island will self-destruct in 1 minute, what ARE you still doing here?

Animorphs-O-oh *run away as fast as they can*

Jake-*suddenly runs back and grabs the sushi* little something for the road. *runs away again*

*meanwhile elsewhere on the island, Britz arrives at the wharf*

Britz-HEY! Where my fucking boat?!

Zombie#1-Over here Britzy boy! Ha ha ha!

*Britz looks up and sees that several zombies and Ralph have stolen his speedboat*

Zombie#2-Ha Ha! So long motherfucker! *laughs and throws a beer bottle at Britz*

Britz-*jumping away from bottle* Bring back that boat you bastards!! I'll rip your nipples off and force feed them to ya!!! *the zombie's just laugh and flip Britz the bird* DAMMIT!! Okay visualise a beautiful meadow, I'm standing in it and...Eureka! I've got it! I'll use my Super presto-Not quite omnipotent-But still not half bad-Writer powers! *remembers that he left his pen back at the building* oh shit *runs back towards the building even faster than before.*

*elsewhere on the island the Animorphs reach their boat*

Voice-Island will self destruct in half a minute, please start praying to the Mesiah of your choice, now

Marco-CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!! START THE BOAT!! START THE GOD-DAMN BOAT!!!!!!

Jake-Alright, just calm it down a notch, you can't rush thease things y'know. *is immediantly kicked out of way by Marco and Rachel who then start the boat*

*they speed away from the island while elsewhere*

Britz-*gets back to the room and finds his pen*

Voice-Island will self-destruct in 10 seconds, your in deep shit mi'laddo. 9..8..7..

Britz-Oh shut the hell up!

Voice-Bite me bitch, 6..5..

Britz-*to pen* come on I need a boat a boat *a large sailboat appears in the middle of the room* alright it worked!! *jumps in to the boat*

Voice-4..3..

Britz-Hang on, boat without water? That isn't good.

Voice-No shit sherlock, 2..1. Bah-bye.

*the entire island explodes with a big old* BOOM! (BOOM! Not shown actually size)

(a flying through the sky and very burnt) Britz-This is Britz Britten blasting off a....Well for the first time I guess. *ting*

Rachel-*watching the explosion from the boat* Boy thank God we escaped that sicko Britz.

Marco-Yeah, cause y'know using self-insertion this long after the fad died *shudders*

Jake-*trying to eat the sushi with the chop sticks* Y'know guy I just can't get the hang of thease things *drops some sushi on the ground* now where did that go? *slips on the sushi and falls over board* AHHH! *splash!*

Rachel-Say where did Jake go?

Marco-I don't know he was here a minute ago.

Jake-*floating in the water watching the boat drive away* Guys? Guys? Are you there guys? Guys? Guys? Okay guys joke's over come on back now. Guys? Guys? Are you there guys? HEEELLLPPPP!!!!!!!

~THE MERCIFUL END~
---(or is it?)---

Britz-*ting* AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *BANG! He hits the ground* Ow! *gets up* I'll get you Animorphs! I'll kill you! AND YOUR FRIGGEN LITTLE DOG TO!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *hears a falling noise and looks up to see the sailboat falling towards him* oh shit. *CRASH!*

*Britz gets back in the real world*

Britz-AHHHHHHH!!! *falls off his chair* Ow! That really hurt! *gets back up* Damn those Animorphs to the pits of Hades!! I'll get them!!! I'LL WRITE A FIC THAT WILL DESTROY THEM ALL!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! But first I'll have a Coke...Oh and I can't write something else, I'm gonna start that Valintines day fic tomorrow..Oh I guess I'll do it sometime soon, I'll just write down a reminder *feels his pockets* Hey! Where's my God-damn pen?

(a poor-ass and excessivly stupied way to make this the proper)

~END~

(love it? Hate it? Wanna flame it? WRITE A BLOODY REVIEW!)