The Pancake Episode
By The 41st Magaunac
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and I am getting no money from writing this, so go away all you nasty lawyer types who want to sue me!
Author's Note: Because this story got so long, it ended up in chapters! I never believed it would be so long, so bear with me, 'kay? Please read and review!
Part 4
It took 10 minutes of concentrated yelling, swearing and brutality to get Trowa into the outfit which Quatre had found in the cupboard. Trowa stood, totally forlorn, his arms folded, taking a leaf out of Wufei's book as he complained about the 'injustice' of it all.
"You look cute!" said Quatre, with a small smile. "All you need is a little feather duster, and the look would be complete!"
If looks could kill, then Quatre would have been hung, drawn and quartered by the look that Trowa gave him at that comment. It was enough to make even Heero's patented death-glare look like a loving gaze.
"Of all the clothes in your entire house, you have to find me THIS??"
"It's only temporary," replied Duo, who was trying very hard not to smirk, and failing very miserably.
"I still don't see why I can't borrow Duo's clothes. He'd probably look better in this outfit anyway!"
"I resent that! Is it not possible to have long hair these days without being called a 'girl'?"
"Of course it is," Trowa snapped back, "But if you didn't have such girlish features to start with, maybe you wouldn't have that problem!"
"Right that's it! Quatre, hold my jacket!"
"Bring it on, pansy boy!"
"That's ENOUGH!!" said Heero, who was beginning to get a headache. "Trowa, just accept the fact that you will have to wear that for the duration of this mission, and stop fussing. Duo, you just… just… don't say anything."
"But a bloody MAID'S outfit?? Quatre has 40 Magaunacs working for him, and the best he can find me is a MAID'S outfit?"
It was true. Trowa stood before them, the tallest and eldest of the group, dressed in a black and white maid's outfit, which came down just barely over his knees. Unsurprisingly, he had objected to wearing the hat, much to Quatre's disappointment.
"The Magaunacs don't live here," Quatre calmly replied. "The rest of the staff do. It's just unlucky for you that this happens to be the maid's cupboard."
"I'd just like everyone to know that I hate this."
"Duly noted," said Heero, disinterestedly. "Now, we have to get rid of this goo thing."
***
Wufei stood up, and checked his outfit was smooth in the mirror, checked his hair was pulled well back, and that his sword was fastened at his hip. The cassette player lay in several pieces on the floor.
He went and stood in the centre of the room, and looked up at the ceiling, as though staring into the sky.
"It is time."
***
The group made their way into the hallway. The carpet was lost under a sea of green, which clung to their shoes (or bare feet in Trowa's case) as they made their way along it. Heero stopped abruptly.
"We're close…"
"Yes," replied Quatre, "The doorway to the bathroom where all of this started is just up around the next corner."
"What are we looking for exactly?" asked Duo.
"Though there is an awful lot of this green stuff, I think the creature will have some kind of form. A main mass of it. This is the thing we'll have to destroy to get rid of it."
"Yes," confirmed Trowa, "I remember when it attacked me in the shower, it seemed to have some kind of mouth, or form."
"We have no guarantees that any of this stuff is going to work," said Duo, looking down at the curling tongs in his hand.
"Where did you get all of this anyway?" asked Trowa, looking down at the hairdryer he was bearing.
"Quatre's room." Everyone looked at Quatre.
"What?? I have 29 sisters! Don't look at me like that! Trowa…"
"Don't bring me into this. I'm the one in the DRESS, remember?"
Quatre sighed. "You guys are so mean to me."
"And my heart bleeds for you, I'm sure," replied Heero, sarcastically. "Someone wait here, and keep an eye out for Wufei, or the creature. I'm going in."
"I'll stay," said Duo, the expert lounger. "You guys head into the pit of Hell, and I'll stand right here."
Trowa rolled his eyes, and followed after Heero. Quatre followed after him.
They made their way slowly down the corridor, until they reached the door of the bathroom. The handle was covered in green slime.
"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to the cleaner," said Quatre, as Heero reached forward and slowly turned the door handle.
The heat inside was almost unbearable, as no one yet had turned off the shower. They crept slowly and silently to the edge of the bath, and Heero leant over the side to see…
Absolutely nothing.
Just a pool of green gunk left there from earlier. Whenever the monster had been there, it certainly wasn't there now. The 3 teens turned to look at each other.
"If it's not here…"
"Then that must mean…"
"I know," Heero said, turning to the door. "Duo."
***
"Aah, this is the life," sighed Duo, as he pulled out a chair from where it was resting on the wall of the corridor. It was about the only thing around that wasn't too covered in green goo to sit on. "I wish they'd hurry up and kill that thing though. I'm so hungry! I should have brought a sandwich with me. Man, I don't think I'll be able to even look at a pancake after all of this…"
Duo pulled his cap down over his eyes, and sat still, trying to doze of. However hard he tried, he could not escape the feeling that he wasn't alone. He tried to shake this feeling off, and leant forward in his seat, putting his hands together. He felt a warm presence behind him… and got the impression that someone was massaging his shoulders…
"Aah, that feels good!" he crooned, as the warm masseuse worked their way across the sides of his back. "Just up a bit… then left… yeah, yeah! Right there!" He sighed in satisfaction. "That's gotta be you, Heero, you always know how to give the best backrubs…"
"And I really wish I could claim responsibility for this one, Duo."
Duo opened his eyes, and looked out in front of him. There stood Heero, with Trowa and Quatre standing behind him, looking rather concerned… but not as concerned as Duo was feeling at that moment… If Heero was in front of him… then who, or what, was behind?
"Duo, try not to move," said Heero, quietly, as he made his way a little closer. Duo broke in a cold sweat. There was something warm, and green beginning to ooze down the front of his shirt.
"Help…" he squeaked, in his least manly tone.
"On my mark," said Heero, as Quatre and Trowa fanned out, "GO!"
For the second time that day, all Hell broke loose. Quatre ran forward, plunging his battery-powered hair tongs into the depths of the green monster, turning it on to the highest setting. The goo immediately ran into the works, rendering the device totally useless.
"My arm!" he yelled, "It's got my arm!"
"Quatre!" yelled Trowa, "Just hold on, I'm coming!" Trowa ran forward, and wrapped his arms around Quatre's waist, trying to pull him backwards, while getting sucked inevitably deeper. He pushed a leg forward, against the side of the monster, but found that that too was being sucked inside.
"Help! Now it's got my leg!" yelled Trowa, desperately trying not to fall over, not to mention expose himself. The maids were not known for keeping panties in the cupboard.
Heero stood back a moment, as he prepared himself for combat. He pulled the waxing lotion and strips from his pocket. "I will eliminate all obstacles." He dived forward, flicking off the lid of the lotion expertly, and emptying a large amount of the contents on to the blob.
"Heero…" Duo gasped, as his body was sucked into the mass, and the goo closed over his head, cutting off his oxygen.
Heero yanked out a huge waxing strip and splatted it on to the side of monster, as it began to try and drag him inside. "Don't worry," he said, almost smirking, "This will only hurt a bit…"
Heero yanked the strip back, and the monster howled in pain, allowing Trowa and Quatre to fall backwards, though Duo was still nowhere to be seen.
"Quatre!" yelled Heero, who was getting sucked inside, "Throw me the hairdryer!"
"I can't! I throw like a geek!"
"You HAVE to!" yelled Trowa, as he fell sideways, as his leg was absorbed. "Quatre… I BELIEVE in you!"
Quatre smiled a little. "Thanks, Trowa."
"Quatre! The dryer!" Heero yelled desperately.
Quatre lifted the dryer from the floor, and threw it as best he could over to Heero, who nearly dropped it in the gunge. "Take this, you cosmic lump of phlegm!!" Heero yelled, and plunged the dryer inside, setting it to the maximum.
There was a low humming sound, and the huge ball of goo and drain hair began to slowly enlarge, like a bubble as the hot air inside grew and grew.
"Everyone get back! She's gonna blow!" Heero yelled, as he got his arm free. Trowa was able to free his leg, and the 3 of them ran as far as they could get, before the explosion.
Well, maybe explosion is a bit rich. There was a low, wet 'parp' as the bubble burst, spraying ooze all over Quatre's hallway. Then silence.
"DUO!!" yelled Heero, as he ran as best he could back the way he had come from. "DUO!!" He ploughed his way through the vast quantities of gunge, searching desperately. "Can you hear me? Duo? Speak if you can hear me!"
Heero waded into the centre of what used to be the blob, and delved in, using both his arms, ducking his head under. Trowa and Quatre ran up behind them, and stood looking on in worry.
Heero finally emerged again, the braided pilot clutched in his arms, not moving. He waded out again, and laid the body on the floor. "Duo…" he said softly. "You can't be dead… please Duo, don't be dead…"
Moved by the scene before him, Quatre leant his head against Trowa, who placed a hand on his back to comfort him.
"I just wanted to say that… that… I'm sorry for yelling at you… for calling you stupid… I know you can't hear me now…" A solitary tear rolled down Heero's cheek, and he bowed his head, closing his eyes.
"Apology: Accepted."
Heero looked up again to see Duo looking up at him through tired eyes. "How long? How long, Duo?"
"Since about, 'Duo! Can you hear me?'"
"All that time you were awake?"
"Yeah. I just knew that if I left it long enough, you'd reveal your true feeling for me, Heero," Duo replied, with a grin.
Heero stood up. "Omae o korosu!! You BASTARD! I was going to give you mouth-to-mouth!!"
"And you are still perfectly welcome to do so!" said Duo, cocking an eyebrow, and smirking.
"You BASTARD! You SUCK! I grieved for you, damn it!!"
Heero spun around as he heard Quatre and Trowa both laughing behind him. "I hate you ALL!" Heero stomped off to the kitchen.
"Uh oh," said Quatre with a grin. "Someone's going to be sleeping on the sofa tonight."
"And he may not be the only one," added Trowa, "I'm still pissed with this whole maid outfit…"
"B-but…!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" A war cry was heard from the top of a nearby staircase, and the long forgotten Chang Wufei flew down them at an incredible speed, his Katana at the ready. He swung back, and charged into the mound of green stuff, which was all that remained of the creature, cutting and slicing, all the while yelling about justice.
"Do you think we should…" began Quatre.
"No. He'll figure it out on his own in the end," replied Trowa, "Besides, he owes me big time for some of the crap that's happened today. I need a change of clothes. This skirt is way too breezy. Commando really isn't my thing."
"Well, I suppose we'd better go and get changed and cleaned up. There's no way we can clean up all of this mess," said Duo.
"No," agreed Quatre, "I'll get the cleaners in as soon as possible. In the mean time, we'll have to use the rooms in the house that aren't too messed up."
"So what do we do now?" asked Trowa.
"I don't know," sighed Quatre. "What sounds good?"
"Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I'm starved. How's about we all go back to the kitchen and whip us up some more of those… guys? Hey guys? Quatre? Trowa?"
And for the first time that day, the house was at peace. Well… nearly. Like I said, what can you expect from 5 guys with the collective sanity of a half chewed candy cane?
Mayhem. That's what.
END!
By The 41st Magaunac
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and I am getting no money from writing this, so go away all you nasty lawyer types who want to sue me!
Author's Note: Because this story got so long, it ended up in chapters! I never believed it would be so long, so bear with me, 'kay? Please read and review!
Part 4
It took 10 minutes of concentrated yelling, swearing and brutality to get Trowa into the outfit which Quatre had found in the cupboard. Trowa stood, totally forlorn, his arms folded, taking a leaf out of Wufei's book as he complained about the 'injustice' of it all.
"You look cute!" said Quatre, with a small smile. "All you need is a little feather duster, and the look would be complete!"
If looks could kill, then Quatre would have been hung, drawn and quartered by the look that Trowa gave him at that comment. It was enough to make even Heero's patented death-glare look like a loving gaze.
"Of all the clothes in your entire house, you have to find me THIS??"
"It's only temporary," replied Duo, who was trying very hard not to smirk, and failing very miserably.
"I still don't see why I can't borrow Duo's clothes. He'd probably look better in this outfit anyway!"
"I resent that! Is it not possible to have long hair these days without being called a 'girl'?"
"Of course it is," Trowa snapped back, "But if you didn't have such girlish features to start with, maybe you wouldn't have that problem!"
"Right that's it! Quatre, hold my jacket!"
"Bring it on, pansy boy!"
"That's ENOUGH!!" said Heero, who was beginning to get a headache. "Trowa, just accept the fact that you will have to wear that for the duration of this mission, and stop fussing. Duo, you just… just… don't say anything."
"But a bloody MAID'S outfit?? Quatre has 40 Magaunacs working for him, and the best he can find me is a MAID'S outfit?"
It was true. Trowa stood before them, the tallest and eldest of the group, dressed in a black and white maid's outfit, which came down just barely over his knees. Unsurprisingly, he had objected to wearing the hat, much to Quatre's disappointment.
"The Magaunacs don't live here," Quatre calmly replied. "The rest of the staff do. It's just unlucky for you that this happens to be the maid's cupboard."
"I'd just like everyone to know that I hate this."
"Duly noted," said Heero, disinterestedly. "Now, we have to get rid of this goo thing."
***
Wufei stood up, and checked his outfit was smooth in the mirror, checked his hair was pulled well back, and that his sword was fastened at his hip. The cassette player lay in several pieces on the floor.
He went and stood in the centre of the room, and looked up at the ceiling, as though staring into the sky.
"It is time."
***
The group made their way into the hallway. The carpet was lost under a sea of green, which clung to their shoes (or bare feet in Trowa's case) as they made their way along it. Heero stopped abruptly.
"We're close…"
"Yes," replied Quatre, "The doorway to the bathroom where all of this started is just up around the next corner."
"What are we looking for exactly?" asked Duo.
"Though there is an awful lot of this green stuff, I think the creature will have some kind of form. A main mass of it. This is the thing we'll have to destroy to get rid of it."
"Yes," confirmed Trowa, "I remember when it attacked me in the shower, it seemed to have some kind of mouth, or form."
"We have no guarantees that any of this stuff is going to work," said Duo, looking down at the curling tongs in his hand.
"Where did you get all of this anyway?" asked Trowa, looking down at the hairdryer he was bearing.
"Quatre's room." Everyone looked at Quatre.
"What?? I have 29 sisters! Don't look at me like that! Trowa…"
"Don't bring me into this. I'm the one in the DRESS, remember?"
Quatre sighed. "You guys are so mean to me."
"And my heart bleeds for you, I'm sure," replied Heero, sarcastically. "Someone wait here, and keep an eye out for Wufei, or the creature. I'm going in."
"I'll stay," said Duo, the expert lounger. "You guys head into the pit of Hell, and I'll stand right here."
Trowa rolled his eyes, and followed after Heero. Quatre followed after him.
They made their way slowly down the corridor, until they reached the door of the bathroom. The handle was covered in green slime.
"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to the cleaner," said Quatre, as Heero reached forward and slowly turned the door handle.
The heat inside was almost unbearable, as no one yet had turned off the shower. They crept slowly and silently to the edge of the bath, and Heero leant over the side to see…
Absolutely nothing.
Just a pool of green gunk left there from earlier. Whenever the monster had been there, it certainly wasn't there now. The 3 teens turned to look at each other.
"If it's not here…"
"Then that must mean…"
"I know," Heero said, turning to the door. "Duo."
***
"Aah, this is the life," sighed Duo, as he pulled out a chair from where it was resting on the wall of the corridor. It was about the only thing around that wasn't too covered in green goo to sit on. "I wish they'd hurry up and kill that thing though. I'm so hungry! I should have brought a sandwich with me. Man, I don't think I'll be able to even look at a pancake after all of this…"
Duo pulled his cap down over his eyes, and sat still, trying to doze of. However hard he tried, he could not escape the feeling that he wasn't alone. He tried to shake this feeling off, and leant forward in his seat, putting his hands together. He felt a warm presence behind him… and got the impression that someone was massaging his shoulders…
"Aah, that feels good!" he crooned, as the warm masseuse worked their way across the sides of his back. "Just up a bit… then left… yeah, yeah! Right there!" He sighed in satisfaction. "That's gotta be you, Heero, you always know how to give the best backrubs…"
"And I really wish I could claim responsibility for this one, Duo."
Duo opened his eyes, and looked out in front of him. There stood Heero, with Trowa and Quatre standing behind him, looking rather concerned… but not as concerned as Duo was feeling at that moment… If Heero was in front of him… then who, or what, was behind?
"Duo, try not to move," said Heero, quietly, as he made his way a little closer. Duo broke in a cold sweat. There was something warm, and green beginning to ooze down the front of his shirt.
"Help…" he squeaked, in his least manly tone.
"On my mark," said Heero, as Quatre and Trowa fanned out, "GO!"
For the second time that day, all Hell broke loose. Quatre ran forward, plunging his battery-powered hair tongs into the depths of the green monster, turning it on to the highest setting. The goo immediately ran into the works, rendering the device totally useless.
"My arm!" he yelled, "It's got my arm!"
"Quatre!" yelled Trowa, "Just hold on, I'm coming!" Trowa ran forward, and wrapped his arms around Quatre's waist, trying to pull him backwards, while getting sucked inevitably deeper. He pushed a leg forward, against the side of the monster, but found that that too was being sucked inside.
"Help! Now it's got my leg!" yelled Trowa, desperately trying not to fall over, not to mention expose himself. The maids were not known for keeping panties in the cupboard.
Heero stood back a moment, as he prepared himself for combat. He pulled the waxing lotion and strips from his pocket. "I will eliminate all obstacles." He dived forward, flicking off the lid of the lotion expertly, and emptying a large amount of the contents on to the blob.
"Heero…" Duo gasped, as his body was sucked into the mass, and the goo closed over his head, cutting off his oxygen.
Heero yanked out a huge waxing strip and splatted it on to the side of monster, as it began to try and drag him inside. "Don't worry," he said, almost smirking, "This will only hurt a bit…"
Heero yanked the strip back, and the monster howled in pain, allowing Trowa and Quatre to fall backwards, though Duo was still nowhere to be seen.
"Quatre!" yelled Heero, who was getting sucked inside, "Throw me the hairdryer!"
"I can't! I throw like a geek!"
"You HAVE to!" yelled Trowa, as he fell sideways, as his leg was absorbed. "Quatre… I BELIEVE in you!"
Quatre smiled a little. "Thanks, Trowa."
"Quatre! The dryer!" Heero yelled desperately.
Quatre lifted the dryer from the floor, and threw it as best he could over to Heero, who nearly dropped it in the gunge. "Take this, you cosmic lump of phlegm!!" Heero yelled, and plunged the dryer inside, setting it to the maximum.
There was a low humming sound, and the huge ball of goo and drain hair began to slowly enlarge, like a bubble as the hot air inside grew and grew.
"Everyone get back! She's gonna blow!" Heero yelled, as he got his arm free. Trowa was able to free his leg, and the 3 of them ran as far as they could get, before the explosion.
Well, maybe explosion is a bit rich. There was a low, wet 'parp' as the bubble burst, spraying ooze all over Quatre's hallway. Then silence.
"DUO!!" yelled Heero, as he ran as best he could back the way he had come from. "DUO!!" He ploughed his way through the vast quantities of gunge, searching desperately. "Can you hear me? Duo? Speak if you can hear me!"
Heero waded into the centre of what used to be the blob, and delved in, using both his arms, ducking his head under. Trowa and Quatre ran up behind them, and stood looking on in worry.
Heero finally emerged again, the braided pilot clutched in his arms, not moving. He waded out again, and laid the body on the floor. "Duo…" he said softly. "You can't be dead… please Duo, don't be dead…"
Moved by the scene before him, Quatre leant his head against Trowa, who placed a hand on his back to comfort him.
"I just wanted to say that… that… I'm sorry for yelling at you… for calling you stupid… I know you can't hear me now…" A solitary tear rolled down Heero's cheek, and he bowed his head, closing his eyes.
"Apology: Accepted."
Heero looked up again to see Duo looking up at him through tired eyes. "How long? How long, Duo?"
"Since about, 'Duo! Can you hear me?'"
"All that time you were awake?"
"Yeah. I just knew that if I left it long enough, you'd reveal your true feeling for me, Heero," Duo replied, with a grin.
Heero stood up. "Omae o korosu!! You BASTARD! I was going to give you mouth-to-mouth!!"
"And you are still perfectly welcome to do so!" said Duo, cocking an eyebrow, and smirking.
"You BASTARD! You SUCK! I grieved for you, damn it!!"
Heero spun around as he heard Quatre and Trowa both laughing behind him. "I hate you ALL!" Heero stomped off to the kitchen.
"Uh oh," said Quatre with a grin. "Someone's going to be sleeping on the sofa tonight."
"And he may not be the only one," added Trowa, "I'm still pissed with this whole maid outfit…"
"B-but…!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" A war cry was heard from the top of a nearby staircase, and the long forgotten Chang Wufei flew down them at an incredible speed, his Katana at the ready. He swung back, and charged into the mound of green stuff, which was all that remained of the creature, cutting and slicing, all the while yelling about justice.
"Do you think we should…" began Quatre.
"No. He'll figure it out on his own in the end," replied Trowa, "Besides, he owes me big time for some of the crap that's happened today. I need a change of clothes. This skirt is way too breezy. Commando really isn't my thing."
"Well, I suppose we'd better go and get changed and cleaned up. There's no way we can clean up all of this mess," said Duo.
"No," agreed Quatre, "I'll get the cleaners in as soon as possible. In the mean time, we'll have to use the rooms in the house that aren't too messed up."
"So what do we do now?" asked Trowa.
"I don't know," sighed Quatre. "What sounds good?"
"Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I'm starved. How's about we all go back to the kitchen and whip us up some more of those… guys? Hey guys? Quatre? Trowa?"
And for the first time that day, the house was at peace. Well… nearly. Like I said, what can you expect from 5 guys with the collective sanity of a half chewed candy cane?
Mayhem. That's what.
END!