The rest of the year passed in such a flash even though we would have had it last forever. We passed our N.E.W.T.S with flying colors. All expect Peter of course who just barley scraped by. Before we knew it graduation was upon us. Life after Hogwarts was something I didn't want to think about. The last night we all crept out for one last adventure. Lily accompanied us for the first time. It wasn't a full moon so Remus and Lilly took turns riding on James's and my back. I was big enough that they could, but then Remus wasn't that big and Lily was very small. We explored the grounds, the village, and the school. The forest everything. We sat in the shrieking shack for a long time. We just talked about everything we had ever done. And we set prank traps for every single teacher.
The next morning at graduation, James and Lily were presented with head boy and girl awards. I got the most detentions ever received in the history of Hogwarts award ( 4963) as well as the runner up head boy award. Then Dumbledore spoke " Yet another year comes to a close and we say goodbye to yet another talented bunch of wizards and witches. You are going out into the world at a very dangerous time. And I can only say to be careful. Yes especially you Sirius. You must be on alert but don't forget how to have fun. If you forget just call up the Potter gang." The hall laughed and then gasped as a brilliant display of fireworks filled the room. We had been waiting for the box under his chair to go off. Dumbledore, the teachers, and all the kids in our year burst out laughing. It was the first prank we had ever played. Everyone burst into applause. We stood up and bowed deeply.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the best pranksters ever to come to Hogwarts." When the noise died down he contented. " You are all great and you are wonderful witches and wizards. You will make us all proud. No one knows what will happen in the future, but I hope what ever is in store for you, you have a good life. Now I will leave you with one word. You are always welcome here."
"That's five words." I called out.
" So it is." He laughed. " Now eat."
After the meal which was as good as the first meal one our first day seven years ago we stayed for a long time. No one wanted to leave. Then Dumbledore told us the train was here. We said goodbye to Hagrid who was sobbing and grabbed James, Remus and me in a hug so tight none of us could breath and Dumbledore had to pry him away. Professor McGonagall was acutely crying when we said goodbye.
"James, Sirius, Lily Remus, and Peter, could you come here please?" He asked.
" I have asked you here for a ver important reason, And don't worry the train won't leave without you. I would like you to come back this Friday night. I have something I wish to discuss with you."
He gave us a few more instructions and then we left. On the way home we talked and laughed and did every thing we could in our last few hours as kids. I looked out the window. It was raining. It had been raining on our first day too. I thought back on the past seven years. I had ridden in this same car, been with the same people, but I wasn't the same person I was back then. I had been through too much.
"Seven years here and you won't recognize yourself." Hagraid had told us once when we went to visit him. He couldn't have been more right. For a second I wished to be that person again. Not Padfoot, the animagus. Not Padfoot the insane crazy, prankster, and not a member of the Potter gang. Not Sirius Black the orphan. Not the dog star warrior. Just plain old muggle Sirius. But then I would not have my friends and I would most likely have been dead. I sighed. My dad would have been proud of me, mum too. My heart ached to see them again. I wished I wasn't something special. I wished I was just a normal kid. And I wished Erin was there to tell me things were going to be okay. Because despite my carefree and mocking exterior that was what I really need.
I get scared too. In fact right now I'm very scared. I've been scared now for so long. It never goes away. Never while I remain in this god forsaken place. I wish I could get out. It's driving me crazy. I may not be mad yet. But I'm well on my way. Everything hurts. I can only see James's face as I convinced him to change and I killed him and Lily. I can only hear him say those words that have haunted me ever since. " I trust you Sirius." He never called me Sirius unless it was important. He always called me Padfoot. He trusted me. He trusted me and I let him down. I as good as killed them. I can't stop seeing the look on Remus's face as they brought me into the courtroom to sentence me without a trial. It was worse than the looks of hatred and disgust I was getting from my old friends and teachers. It was a look of disbelief, shook. Helplessness. And it bore deep in my soul. I don't think he even really saw me. Instead he saw a murderer, a traitor, the man who had taken his friends from him. He never saw me. Never heard me as I begged him to. The one person, who was supposed to, who had sworn to defend me no matter what, had forgotten me. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. This was a mistake. I never should have done this. I have to stop. I, I, can't live this…
Sorry, a bad day. I started crying when I remember Erin and the train ride home and any kind of emotion will attract the dementors. They crowded around my door and the sorrow just overtook me. I didn't mean what I said. I can't stop. Not now. Even if I wanted to. This has helped me and I don't know what I'll do when I finish. But finish I must. For the worst is yet to come.
At platform 9 and ¾ we went back to my old house where we would be staying until we all got a place to stay. We were looking at a four-bedroom apartment in London. Pretty big and a block away from Digon alley. The next day was Addi's graduation and since we weren't eighteen yet her guardians had to pick her up. Oddly enough James who was six months older than us had turned eighteen. So he was our guardian. We laughed at him and he grounded us for all eternity.
Sorry this part is so short. The next part is kinda important and I wanted it to stand alone. By the way, to clear up any confusion, If anybody doesn't get my constant referral to Peter-jumped-off-a-cliff day, that is the day Peter jumps off a cliff and we all create a world wide holiday. Fun is had by many except for Peter who is slightly smushed. In the next part you get to meet Mari.
Sorry about Sirius's little depression rant there. He was going through dementors are taking over my soul disease. Not fun. And since he lives in my head his *happy little depression mode rubs off.
* the use of EXTREME sarcasm.