Title:"Dear Christine..."
Author:T'Maia
Series:TOS
Codes: S, Cha, [G]
Part: 1/1

Summary: Christine finds a letter...

Diclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, I own this piece of fanfic.



"Dear Christine..."

Spock was dead.

Since the news came in Christine had been on automatic gear. It didn't
matter that he had never returned her feelings. It didn't matter that he had
more or less shunned her. It hurt. She couldn't believe she would never
see him, never hear his voice, never see his signature under an order
again.

"Kirk to sickbay." came the call over the intercom. "Get a medical team
to Spock's quarters on the double."

Spock! Christine snatched her bag and was out of the door before reality
hit her. Spock was dead. It wasn't Spock who needed her. Who ever was
there had violated the sanctuary of Spock's quarters. Who ever it was,
she would not pamper him.

Christine entered the quarters. Kirk held McCoy in his arms.

"Check him." he ordered her. She used the tricorder. "I can't find
anything." McCoy turned his head and stared at her.

"Miss Chapel..." his voice sounded strange. He struggled free from Kirk
and pulled a book out of the shelf before he collapsed at the floor. Kirk
rushed to his attention. Christine checked him again, but again the
readings were within the norm.

"Let's get him to sickbay." She turned to the attendants with the stretcher.
They picked McCoy up and left. Christine took a second to put the book
back on the shelf. Spock had never left any of his things untidy.

A letter fell in to her hand. "Christine" was written on the outside.

She stared at it in disbelief. A letter from Spock. To *her*. And never
sent. Her heart trembled as she opened it.


"Dear Christine,

you are right. I am not cold and detached like McCoy always says.

I do feel.

I do long for love.

I can love another person.

I wish to love and to be loved, to touch and to be touched, forever and
always.

I wish I would love you. I wish I could love you the way you deserved for
loving me the way you do.

I am sorry for you.

I grieve with thee. For your love was futile from the beginning.

Cruel joke of fate that the very reason I can not love you is the fact that
I
can love.

I feel drawn to you. Drawn to you due to the fact that you are as
hopelessly consumed by that irrational feeling as I am.

I feel bonded to you. Bonded to you due to the fact that you love
somebody who can offer you friendship at the most.

Your love is not returned. Not in the intensity you desire.

Like mine.

The reason I cannot love you is that I love somebody else.

I do not wish to hurt you. I never have.

That's the reason why you will never see this letter.


Your friend,

Spock "

Christine closed the sheet. Tears streamed down her face. Oh, Spock...


End of Story

*********

Make up in your own mind who Spock is in love with!