*Note : After much consideration, I decided to post the URL
of the accompanying fanart to Kimeru [Choice] here instead. Don't want to clog
up anyone's mailbox. ^_^; Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Refer below
for link.
You know, I wasn't going to do this part of Kimeru. This isn't supposed to actually appear in the trilogy. You're not ever supposed to see Jyou's reaction to Yamato's…revelation. But there was a mention in reviews about it, and I sat down and thought a bit. And realised it might be a little too cruel to jump straight to Kimeru [Consequence]. Therefore, Kimeru [Interlude I] was born. It's just a short little interlude that shows just what happened after that?!, and not in usual Kimeru format. Hope it doesn't disappoint you too much. ^_^; I'm really grateful for the support everyone has shown in the reviews, so this is for you, people. Hope it's to your taste.
Kimeru
[Interlude I]
by Djinn
Last installment, in Kimeru…
"No. Because I love you."
There was silence. For a moment, Yamato wondered if Jyou was even breathing. Then he lowered his head, staring at the strawberry milkshake in front of him.
Yamato waited.
"Pass the salt, please."
Huh?
Not exactly the response he had been waiting for. Nevertheless, he passed the salt.
The blue-haired man accepted it - and promptly started adding salt to his drink. Rather alarmed, Yamato spoke up once more.
"Jyou. That's a strawberry milkshake. Salt does not go with strawberry milkshake."
The saltshaker stopped mid-motion.
"Oh. Sorry."
There was more silence. The saltshaker didn't move.
Yamato wasn't just alarmed now.
"Jyou? Did you hear what I said?"
Rather unexpectedly, the grip on the saltshaker loosened. The saltshaker itself plopped right into the milkshake, sinking like a rock. In a sudden burst of anger, Jyou sprang up, sending his chair flying to the ground.
"If you love me, why didn't you ever tell me before?! Why did you treat me as if I didn't exist?! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME NOW?!"
Guilt, like a cold stone cross, hit him square in the chest. Yamato slumped in his chair, defeated. It was over, then. He'd killed their love before it even had a chance to begin.
"I wanted to. Many times." He whispered, voice flat as a dead man's, echoing a desolation from beyond the grave. "Every time I came back, I wanted to. I wanted to hold you, to talk to you, to let you know how much you meant to me. But I never dared. I never dared."
He closed his eyes, sinking deeper with every passing second of silence into a whirlpool of despair.
"What if you didn't feel the same way? What if you never wanted to see me again? The thought scared me so much, I didn't dare to speak. I was so afraid I'd drive you away if I said anything wrong. Anything at all. But you were always so caring, so beautiful…you were always so there…I'm a rockstar."
A wry grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"Sometimes I think that's the loneliest job in the world. Everybody wants you. Nobody loves you. Except…I thought maybe you did. I guess I was wrong."
He swallowed, forcing the hurt that arose from the sentence down.
"…I was afraid you wouldn't show up today. I know I've let you down, too many times. Maybe that one last time was one more time too many. But when I saw you…standing there…when you came to me, nervous and worried, but still trying so hard, so sweet…I thought…I thought maybe…maybe I could tell you now. Maybe…"
His voice trailed off from the light hope that had entered it, descending back into darkness.
"I suppose some things just aren't meant to be. I'm sorry. You can hit me if it'll make you feel better."
He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the blow.
It never came.
…Did he leave?
He raised his head – just in time to see the first two tears fall onto the table, narrowly missing the already much-abused milkshake. He looked up in a hurry, to witness the charming sight of Jyou trying not to cry.
"…Jyou?"
"Yama-kun wa baka desu…" The words were broken, then repeated with an insistent intensity. "Yama-kun wa BAKA desu!"
The hands flew away from his face, bright eyes flashing with anger and something else he couldn't make out stared at him accusingly.
"Ai…shiteru…ai shiteru…AI SHITERU!"
To Yamato, it was as if an angel had descended from the skies.
In one fluid motion, he stood up, reached across the table – incidentally upsetting both the milkshakes – grabbed the other man's collar, and pulled him close.
Then, in front of all the people in the cafeteria, in front of everyone, he kissed him.
…And, really, that was all that was needed to be done.
END for
now.
Hope that wasn't too bad. -_-; I'm really sorry if it wasn't good enough. Really really sorry. Oh, and please do not trust the Japanese sentences up there. I don't speak Japanese, just dabble in it when the occasional arises. If you happen to know I'm wrong, please correct me. Thank you! Sorry for the inconvenience!
Now, about that fanart…
http://www.stas.net/3/jemx/djdigikimeru1.jpg
…should take you there, if ff.net actually supports such linking, that is. _ It was just a doodle I did in class, just thought it would be cute, that's all. I'm terrible at profiles. It's Jyou waiting in the arrival hall. The background was [badly] done in Photoshop…you should have seen me trying to doodle something that looked like a plane [I don't really know what a plane looks like, technically…] in the window. I'm not too good with CGing either… Oh well. *sighs* If, for any reason, you can't see it and actually want to, I'm quite happy to mail it to you.