CHAPTER 8 – A HOPEFUL ENCOUNTER
"Hi, I'm looking for Yuu Matsuura, he's an associate Architect. Does he work here?"
Miki asked the front desk secretary. The lady looked at her confused for a moment and then shook her head.
"I don't think so." She said hesitantly.
"Can you check for me? Please? It's very important."
"Ah- sure…" The secretary turned to her computer and made a quick search through the database. "I'm sorry, there is no Yuu Matsuura listed anywhere in the computer."
"Ah- ok. Thank you!" Miki did her best to give the lady a smile, and then turned and walked out of the lobby, she tried to keep her legs as steady as she could. As soon as the doors closed behind her and she was outside, she leaned against the adjacent wall and sighed heavily. She crossed out yet another firm on her list. She'd decided to start with the largest and work her way down to the smaller independent ones. This had been her fifth try.
"At this rate, It'll take me until winter to find Yuu." She took a deep breath and then continued her walk down the street, consulting a map as to the location of her next target.
The sun was beginning to slide down behind trees and buildings, signaling the evening. Miki would only have enough time to try one more firm before it would be too late and everything would close.
"Please, oh please let me find him… Yuu… I want to see you so badly." She whispered, clutching the small piece of paper in both hands. "Even if you reject me again… I just have to try!" Screwing up courage, she took off at a run down the street and towards her next target.
That Evening
"Yuu, going home early today?" Sayako took off her reading glasses to glance at the handsome young associate architect as he made his way past reception towards the sliding glass doors leading outside.
"Ahh… well…" Yuu turned on his heels nervously and rocked back and forth. Then put his hands together and did a small bow. "Watanabe-san is in a meeting and… well… I just thought that…"
Sayoko put her glasses back on with a laugh and looked down at her paperwork. " As far as I'm concerned, I never saw you."
"Thankyou! Sayako-san! I'll make it up to you!"
She stole a glance at him as he turned again and dashed out the door. "I wonder what he's in such a hurry for today…"
About five minutes later, she noticed a young woman walk through the front entrance, looking winded and tired. She had reddish brown hair that was pinned up with two flowered barrettes and large, chocolate brown eyes. She seemed very pretty.
.
"May I help you, Miss?" Sayako asked.
The girl turned to her and walked over timidly.
"Oh… yes… I was wondering." She was fidgeting with a piece of paper between her fingers. "Please tell me, does a Yuu Matsuura work here?"
Sayako arched her eyebrows in surprise. "Did you have an appointment with him?"
Miki's heart started pounding in her chest; this wasn't the answer she was expecting… Yuu WAS here! She wanted jumped for joy. She straightened up, her energy returned with a rush in hope of seeing Yuu.
"This is Miki… I'm his stepsister! Please, I need to speak with him right away! It's important!"
"Sister? He's never mentioned having a sister…then again… he doesn't talk about himself much at all." Sayoko felt a pang of pity at the look of total hope and joy that was on her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but Mr. Matsuura has left for the day already."
" Oh…" Miki tried hard to hide her disappointment, but it was painfully obvious as her shoulders slouched over.
"Is there something else I can do for you?"
" When do you expect him in the office tomorrow?"
" Well, we open at 8 AM."
" So he should be here at 8… okay! Thank you…" Biting her lip, Miki turned and started for the front doors. She'd just have to wait. She'd see Yuu tomorrow and talk to him then. Maybe it was better, at least she knew where to find him, so now she'd get a night to think about what she would say. But all the same, the waiting was putting a terrific strain on her.
"I'll just go back to Meiko's, get some dinner, and then go to sleep."
Sayoko wrote a note to give to Yuu when he returned in the morning concerning Miki. But it wasn't five seconds after she put down her pen that she saw him enter the building again.
" Yuu!" She said startled.
" Oh! Sorry I just forgot my coat…"
" Yuu! Did you see the girl?"
" Huh?"
Sayoko shook her head. "Oh! You didn't see her? There was a girl here looking for you!"
Yuu walked over to her and she handed him the note. His eyes widened as he glanced at the words on the paper.
" Miki… are you sure?"
Sayoko shrugged. "I believe that was her name, yes. She said it was important."
"That idiot, what is she doing here?" Yuu dropped the note and dashed back out the front door. He looked left, then right, ran down the street a little, then, convinced he'd totally missed her, walked back to the building feeling lightheaded.
"I something wrong?" Sayoko asked as he passed by with one hand ruffling his blonde hair in frustration.
"No… nothing." He said it quickly and with a stiff formality. Sayoko wondered what it could be that was upsetting him so much. But she decided not to pursue it further, it wasn't really her business, after all…
A Little Later
"I think this is the way… Ohhh…" Miki stopped under a streetlamp. The sun had recently set and it was getting darker and darker by the minute. She pulled out her map of Hiroshima and put a finger on her location. "I think this is where I am… Oh wait… no this is the wrong cross street… " She looked up nervously as a homeless man passed her by, then quickly stuffed the map back in her pockets and just blindly started walking again.
"Ohh… I don't want to look like a tourist after hours… I don't want to get in trouble like what happened back in New York again! And this time… Yuu won't even know to be looking for me." She stopped at a park entrance, the park looked familiar.
" Wait a sec…" She thought. "I went through here on my way from Meiko's house to the first Architectural firm! Oh lucky! I'm not lost after all!"
"Yuu? Yuu are you listening?" Anju looked at him peevishly. Yuu snapped out of whatever daydream he was living and then quickly turned his attention to her.
"Oh! I'm sorry, Anju I was spacing out… could you repeat that?"
"Honestly!" Anju sighed and shook her head. They were walking arm in arm through the park on their way back from dinner. She was already peeved that Yuu had been late, and what's more he didn't say anything more than one word throughout the entire meal. His mind was completely focused on something else, and whatever it was, it definitely wasn't her.
"Anju?"
"Okay! Fess up! What's going on?" She pulled her arm from him and jumped in front of him, stopping him in his path.
" What do you mean, what's going on?" Yuu looked at her exasperated. "Nothing's wrong!"
"Yes there is! You haven't been paying any attention to me all night long! And I was looking forward to this night too!"
"Anju… I'm sorry… I… It's just that…" Yuu had been debating whether or not to tell her that Miki was in the area and looking for him. Whenever he brought up her name, Anju got emotional and the last thing he wanted was to upset her. Already her eyes were quivering.
"Yuu, you're hiding something from me." She said softly. " Why won't you tell me what it is?"
" I… I just…" Yuu closed his eyes and walked over to sit on a nearby parkbench. Anju stayed in the middle of the path, unmoving. "I just, was thinking that was all… about our life these past few months…"
Her eyes widened and she turned to look at him, holding her breath. What was he going to say?
Yuu looked up at the stars, noticing one shooting star fall across the sky. He was instantly brought back to the night when he and Miki sat watching the stars on the park bench, shortly after they'd confessed their love for each other for the first time.
"Yuu, I love you!" Miki's voice ran through his head. When she said those words, they were so heartfelt, so full of emotion. The image of Miki still haunted him. No matter how he tried to escape it, she still haunted him. He was suffering again in a whole different way. There was no escaping the pain.
"Yuu?" Anju took a step closer to him.
"An… " He closed his eyes and made fists with both hands. It wasn't fair to her. He was using her… Using her to forget his pain, and at the time he thought he could grow to love her, but he couldn't lie to himself anymore. Miki was the only one on his mind. What the hell was he doing? Miki was awake! She was looking for him! And all his mind could say to him was "Find her! Go to her! You idiot what are you doing waiting around and torturing yourself?"
" An… I…"
" It's… Miki isn't it?"
Yuu's glanced up at her appologetically. "I'm…sorry…"
Anju just closed her eyes, blinking back tears and shook her head. "No… it's okay. It's not your fault… I thought… I thought I could be the one in your life, to ease your pain, and that you'd eventually love me the way I've always loved you… but I can see now, that she's always been the one foremost in your heart… and there's no replacing her…"
She let out a choked sob and tried her best to smile for him, but he could see, even in the darkness that her lower lip was trembling. "Yuu…"
"An… I… I never meant to hurt you… I'm sorry… I seriously thought that I would be happy with you. And I am! But… not in a romantic way. I guess my hang-up is that… I can't see any other girl as more than a friend, except for Miki…"
Anju let out a choking sob and buried her face in her hands, unable to hold back the tears any longer. Yuu stood up and quickly wrapped his arms around her; she folded into his strong body, letting the tears pour down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry…" He whispered. "So sorry…"
"I…guess…this means… that we'll…be finding new…apartments…" She tried to laugh but it only came out as a strange sort of hickup.
Holding her breath, she closed her eyes tightly. "Come on Anju…" she thought to herself. "You're stronger than this… you knew that the test would come… and you knew that he may not pass it. Someday, Miki would wake up and the chance that Yuu would leave you was inevitable! So accept it! Accept it!"
They stood like that for a long time, Anju's sobs finally ceased, and her breathing stilled to normal. Finally, she pulled away from his embrace.
" Yuu, Thank you…"
" An, I-"
" No-" She interrupted, looking up at him seriously. " Let me finish…"
Yuu nodded and she closed her eyes and held both hands clasped together to her chest. " I just want to say Thank you though, for all the kindness that you've shown me, and for allowing me a place in your heart, even if it can't take the place of Miki's, I hope we can still be good friends."
Yuu smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that."
"And… that I want you to know I don't regret any of our time spent together. It's all been very dear to me. Heh…" She smiled, feeling the tears coming back again unwillingly and blinked them away, she turned her back to him. "I want you and Miki to be happy together from now on! Do you hear?"
"An?"
She straightened and then turned her head to stick out her tongue at him. "And don't you DARE do anything else so stupid as to give up on her again! Okay?"
Yuu's eyes brightened and he nodded. "I won't, I promise."
"Well…I feel much better now that we've finally had this talk." She said as she started to walk down the path towards their apartment. " This outcome had always been in the back of my mind, whether you would still be with me after she woke up or not… I finally have my answer."
Yuu put his hands in his pockets and started to walk behind her. " I'm sorry it's not the one you were hoping for…"
"Oh, but I'm sure Miki-san will be happy."
"Yes…That's the other thing I wanted to tell you…" Yuu muttered. Anju stopped and looked back at him inquisitively. "The reason I was being so spacey… well, Miki is in Hiroshima."
"What?"
"Yeah, she came to my firm, but I guess I'd just missed her…"
"Well, you have to find her!"
" But… I don't think I know where she is…"
" Wouldn't she be staying with Meiko-san?"
Yuu stopped mid stride. "You know, you're right! Or if not, I bet Meiko would know where she is."
"Yuu, you really want to see her right now don't you?"
He closed his eyes and nodded. "I haven't gotten the chance to apologize yet, I broke her heart back at the hospital. I feel so horrible about it. I don't want to waste another second!"
They turned again and this time hurried through the park towards the entrance. But just as Yuu was about to exit, he noticed a slim figure emerge from a side path. It caught him off guard because usually there weren't many people in the park at that time. The figure was also startled. The voice that came from it out of the darkness sent a shiver up his spine. A voice he'd been yearning to hear for so long…
"Yuu?"
Anju noticed Miki too. She smiled at Yuu and whispered. " I'll go on ahead!" And before he could say anything in response, Anju disappeared out the gate.
Yuu stood awkwardly as the figure stepped into the light of a lantern. It was Miki. The very sight of her made his heart-beat quicken, and his knee's suddenly felt very weak.
"Miki…" Was all he could manage to say.
She walked out of the shadows and into the light of a park lamp; her eyes twinkled. "I thought it was you! I wasn't sure because of the dark… but something told me it was!"
"Miki… " He said her name again, his mind, for the first time in years it was clear. His goals, what he wanted, his desires, they all pointed to her. And there she was, standing in front of him. But all he could do was stand there like an idiot and say her name over and over again… what was wrong with him? Why did he suddenly feel so shy?
Miki shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "He isn't saying anything…" she thought. "Is he mad at me for coming here?"
" I… I came here… because I needed to tell you something." She said, her voice a little shaky, she gathered her courage, bracing for a second rejection. "I came, because… I… because I still love you! And… even if you won't accept me, I want you to know that I still love you even then. I've been working hard to get better from the… ordeal… and gather the courage to ask you…"
She took a deep breath. "Yuu, I wanted to know if there would be any chance… any chance at all that we can be together again… I-"
Her sentence was cut off as he lunged at her. Miki's words caught in her throat as she was taken into a tight embrace. Yuu wrapped his arms around her tightly, hugging her to him with such a hunger, that it frightened Miki to wonder if this was the same Yuu she really knew.
" Miki… idiot… you came here… to tell me that." He whispered in her ear, then laughed a little and his embrace loosened a bit. He slid his hands up to rest on her shoulders and leaned his forehead against hers. Miki's heart was racing as she listened to him.
"Heh… it's déjà vu for me… Miki… I've caused you so much suffering… I don't deserve you… "
"No! Yuu- I-"
He stopped her with a single finger to her lips. "Let me say something first."
Wordlessly, she nodded.
"I apologize for how I acted at the hospital… you were right to yell at me. I acted so coldly towards you… I've been acting like a complete idiot all these past years, drowning in my own misery and loneliness…I was so busy feeling sorry for myself. All I could do was sit and think, WHY did this happen? Why were you taken away from me? I started to believe that God was punishing me, and I actually felt that I deserved it. I played the Martyr… and hurt everyone around me."
"No! Yuu I—" Miki broke in but his glance made her fall silent again.
"I was not thinking of how my downtrodden behavior was affecting others… even our parents… I… distanced myself from them in order to try and forget… after so long, I felt I would go mad unless I could forget..."
He paused for a long moment, Miki watched him patiently. A tear ran down his cheek. "I loved you so much!" His words were getting caught in his throat as he tried his best to force down his emotions, but they burst forth from years of suppression.
"I loved you… and I STILL love you… more than I can imagine! I think I'm mad… that anyone can love someone so much… to the point where it rips them to shreds inside if they can't have them… Miki… that's how I feel about you. So please… forgive me… Being together with you is all I've ever wanted."
He fell silent as he hung his head, letting the tears fall freely… not caring if she saw them. Miki reached up and wiped one cheek, then the other with her thumb. Yuu slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was smiling up at him; her eyes were also glistening with tears. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the lips. Yuu's grip around her tightened and he returned her kiss passionately. Not wanting it to ever end, he nudged her mouth open with his lips and ran his tongue against hers, deepening the kiss further.
Miki's heart pounded as she melted against him. Time seemed to stop, her whole body felt like it was on fire for him. Finally, she opened her eyes as his grip loosened. He was gazing down at her intently, with a look that was both exciting and a little scary.
"I forgive you." She said softly. " I'm sorry too, for being the cause of such pain in your heart. I'll never leave you again."
"Baka… it was never your fault!" He gathered her up into his arms again, this time lifting her off the ground. Miki wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him over and over again happily.
" And it wasn't yours either!" She said. " It was an accident, one that is in the past."
" But-"
" And we only have to look to the future now." She said, kissing him on the nose.
The corners of Yuu's mouth turned upwards in a smile, and then he let out a hoarse laugh.
"Miki… I love you!" He twirled her around in a circle and then set her on the ground. Miki still kept her arms wrapped around his neck.
"And I love you, Yuu."
They stood there gazing into each other's eyes. Savoring that moment that they had yearned for so long. Yuu gathered her up again, kissing her, loving her, drinking in her scent. His mind was in a reel intense emotions. Like he'd been drowning for so long and this was the first breath of air he'd gotten in years. The oxygen made him dizzy. He wanted all of her right then. Her body was so warm, just as he'd remembered it. She'd gotten thinner of course but the Miki he knew and loved was there. She was so beautiful, so full of life. He felt his own life open up again before his eyes, where it was closed and locked away before.
"Yuu…" Miki's surprised voice snapped him out of his daydream. Yuu tensed and opened his eyes, pulling away from her instinctively as if he was afraid he'd hurt her somehow. He then realized that during his reverie, he'd somehow backed her up against a tree. His hands were well underneath her shirt in eager exploration. He could tell she was blushing even in the lamp light, she looked at him a little nervously. Quickly, he slid his hands out of her shirt, fumbling for an apology.
" Oh.. I… I'm… sorry…I-"
She stopped him with a quick kiss. " No… I don't mind, just… not here…" Miki blushed again and then grabbed hold of his hand. "Come on… let's get out of this scary park!"
"I'm fine with that!" He hated to admit he was still a little disappointed, but then upon reconsideration, it was better not to rush things. " Are you hungry at all?"
" I'm starving! I got lost trying to find my way to Meiko's house, and ended up here."
" Well, there's a nice place down the street, I'll treat you."
" Oh, thank you! Do you think they have a phone?"
" Of course they do, baka…"
" I should phone Meiko, she's probably worried sick!"