Nice Guys Finish Last - Got That? Part 2.
I don't own any of the original characters from BtVs etc etc etc
Like it, take it, ask first.
"Don't these people recognise a vampire bite when they see one?"
Anya stared in disbelief at the news guy on the TV. "They get 10 vamp victims in one night. All died of the same causes and they can't figure out what did it?! It ridiculous!"
Buffy sat down next to the ex-demoness,
"It is pretty unbelievable."
Willow came in from the kitchen with a cup of hot cocoa,
"Vamps have been around for centuries, why can't they see the obvious?"
There was a tap at the door and something was pushed under it. Giles opened it and looked out at the road to see someone running as fast as they could away from the house. He picked up the envelope that had appeared on his mat.
The Slayer took it and read the contents,
DeEr Slaeyer,
NeEd 2 worn u bOwt Spyk.
Spyk's bAd.
Afta blud.
"Huh?"
She handed the letter to Giles.
"Can you translate?"
Giles returned his glasses to their rightful place on his nose,
"Ah, Dear Slayer. Need to warn you about …. Spike. Spike's bad. Um, After blood. Hmm, I take it he got bored of demon hunting?"
Buffy was pissed off,
"He's after blood? I'll give him blood!"
She grabbed Mr. Pointy and headed for Spike's crypt.
Spike was at "Willy's Place". At last he could have a civilised drink without the local thugs breaking his nose. He stood up to leave, when a young vampire was dragged into the bar and made to kneel infront of him. The draggers addressed Spike as their leader,
"We caught this kid shoving a note through the Ripper's door…sir…he snitched."
Spike was thrown,
"Sir?"
The thugs nodded and Spike gave in,
"Oh alright if you insist, what did he do?"
"He's told the Slayer you be bad again….sir."
Spike shrugged nonchalantly,
"This is me caring."
The thugs seemed slightly put out, the kid, relieved.
"B..but what shall we do with him?"
Spike looked at the young vampire, who was now struggling to get to his feet,
"Whatever you want, it's a free country….and I need to find a new home. Willy got any ideas?"
The only human in the joint looked up from pouring a pint for the parasitic demon infront of him,
"Um…there's a flat vacant over by Johnny's digs. You might wanna check it out."
Spike mused over the bar tender's choice of words,
"Vacant? That's a complex word Will, didn't think your vocab stretched further than please, don't, hurt and me!"
The human shrugged,
"Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises."
Moments after Spike left - the back way - a frustrated Slayer entered.
"Where's Spike!"
Willy looked at her in mock confusion,
"He's not been in here since you converted him you a demon hunter….he's not allowed. He broke the codes."
Buffy waved her fist under his nose,
"What do I have to do to persuade you to comply?"
"Ask nicely?"
"I'm * through * with asking nicely!" She punched him, breaking his nose for the 4th time that year, "Tell me!"
"Um…sorry I can't."
He indicated the growing number of demons gathering behind her, she smiled,
"At * last * I get a decent workout!"
"How much rent?"
"None for you …sir."
"What? Why?"
Again, Spike sensed inferiority vibes coming from the demonic landlord.
"Fine, if that's the way you want it, no rent."
"Thankyou, sir."
"Will you cut it out with the sir!"
"Yes..si…um…Spike.."
Spike entered his newfound home.
Nice…nicer than the crypt anyway.
Buffy emerged from the bar slightly bruised, but none the worse for it. She hadn't gotten what she wanted from Willy, she'd have to try when he had less customers. For now, she'd just have to try the old fashioned method of looking. She scoured the graveyard, looking for the tiniest suggestion that Spike had been there, but it was useless. It was then she came across a young vamp, hiding behind the Angel monument.
"Badspikebadbadbadbadbadspike.Badvampirebadnogoodnonononono.hurt…pain. BadbadbadbadSpike."
Buffy crouched beside him,
"You know where Spike is?"
The vamp looked at her helplessly,
"Nonononononononono."
"Oh. Right. I get the point."
She went to leave but stopped when the vamp grabbed her leg and pointed in the direction of the flats on the corner. He Slayer patted the vamp on the head before dusting him.
"That was hardly fair, guy didn't even get a warning."
She turned, and looked up, Spike was sitting in a tree admiring the view.
"Looking for me, Slayer?"
"Don't flatter your self," she retorted, but then admitted, "Yeah I am. Gonna come down or do I have to come up and get you?"
Spike leaped out of the tree, landing gracefully on his feet,
"Wouldn't give you the satisfaction."
Buffy whipped Mr. Pointy from up her sleeve,
"Shall we?"
"Oh, if you insist."
Game-face on, Spike lunged at her, knocking her off balance. Before she could get up he'd knocked her out cold. He picked her up in a fireman's lift and carried her to Giles' front step, where he left her to be found by the Scooby Gang.
When Buffy came round, she was lying on Giles' sofa with a bandage round her hand.
"You've broken your finger."
She looked round, it was Anya.
"How'd I manage that?"
"Don't know, you must have fallen. Do you remember?"
"No….* yes *!! That bastard knocked me out!!"
"I take it we're talking about Spike."
Buffy sighed,
"Yeah…and my head hurts."
"Y'know that's * so * not like you…"
"Huh?"
"He beat you. The tables turned. Spike's * bad *."
Buffy glared at the ceiling, this was the first time Spike had got anywhere near hurting her since…..since…. a * long * time.
"Spike? Someone you see you."
"Who is it?"
"Some human."
"Tell 'im to bugger off."
Spike listened as he heard Johnny's muffled voice talk to "some human". Then he heard him coming back.
"He said to tell you he's dressed as G I Joe."
"Bollocks."
"Shall I tell him to bugger off again?"
"Um…you could try…."
When Spike was satisfied that Johnny was talking to G I Joe, he bolted. He literally jumped out of the window, which could have caused him serious damage had there not been a fire escape.
He reached the floor and ran headlong into a whole load more of "G I Joes".
Without thinking twice, he charged into them, game face on. In the end, he came out bruised and sore, but darn proud of himself, and very full.
I don't own any of the original characters from BtVs etc etc etc
Like it, take it, ask first.
"Don't these people recognise a vampire bite when they see one?"
Anya stared in disbelief at the news guy on the TV. "They get 10 vamp victims in one night. All died of the same causes and they can't figure out what did it?! It ridiculous!"
Buffy sat down next to the ex-demoness,
"It is pretty unbelievable."
Willow came in from the kitchen with a cup of hot cocoa,
"Vamps have been around for centuries, why can't they see the obvious?"
There was a tap at the door and something was pushed under it. Giles opened it and looked out at the road to see someone running as fast as they could away from the house. He picked up the envelope that had appeared on his mat.
The Slayer took it and read the contents,
DeEr Slaeyer,
NeEd 2 worn u bOwt Spyk.
Spyk's bAd.
Afta blud.
"Huh?"
She handed the letter to Giles.
"Can you translate?"
Giles returned his glasses to their rightful place on his nose,
"Ah, Dear Slayer. Need to warn you about …. Spike. Spike's bad. Um, After blood. Hmm, I take it he got bored of demon hunting?"
Buffy was pissed off,
"He's after blood? I'll give him blood!"
She grabbed Mr. Pointy and headed for Spike's crypt.
Spike was at "Willy's Place". At last he could have a civilised drink without the local thugs breaking his nose. He stood up to leave, when a young vampire was dragged into the bar and made to kneel infront of him. The draggers addressed Spike as their leader,
"We caught this kid shoving a note through the Ripper's door…sir…he snitched."
Spike was thrown,
"Sir?"
The thugs nodded and Spike gave in,
"Oh alright if you insist, what did he do?"
"He's told the Slayer you be bad again….sir."
Spike shrugged nonchalantly,
"This is me caring."
The thugs seemed slightly put out, the kid, relieved.
"B..but what shall we do with him?"
Spike looked at the young vampire, who was now struggling to get to his feet,
"Whatever you want, it's a free country….and I need to find a new home. Willy got any ideas?"
The only human in the joint looked up from pouring a pint for the parasitic demon infront of him,
"Um…there's a flat vacant over by Johnny's digs. You might wanna check it out."
Spike mused over the bar tender's choice of words,
"Vacant? That's a complex word Will, didn't think your vocab stretched further than please, don't, hurt and me!"
The human shrugged,
"Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises."
Moments after Spike left - the back way - a frustrated Slayer entered.
"Where's Spike!"
Willy looked at her in mock confusion,
"He's not been in here since you converted him you a demon hunter….he's not allowed. He broke the codes."
Buffy waved her fist under his nose,
"What do I have to do to persuade you to comply?"
"Ask nicely?"
"I'm * through * with asking nicely!" She punched him, breaking his nose for the 4th time that year, "Tell me!"
"Um…sorry I can't."
He indicated the growing number of demons gathering behind her, she smiled,
"At * last * I get a decent workout!"
"How much rent?"
"None for you …sir."
"What? Why?"
Again, Spike sensed inferiority vibes coming from the demonic landlord.
"Fine, if that's the way you want it, no rent."
"Thankyou, sir."
"Will you cut it out with the sir!"
"Yes..si…um…Spike.."
Spike entered his newfound home.
Nice…nicer than the crypt anyway.
Buffy emerged from the bar slightly bruised, but none the worse for it. She hadn't gotten what she wanted from Willy, she'd have to try when he had less customers. For now, she'd just have to try the old fashioned method of looking. She scoured the graveyard, looking for the tiniest suggestion that Spike had been there, but it was useless. It was then she came across a young vamp, hiding behind the Angel monument.
"Badspikebadbadbadbadbadspike.Badvampirebadnogoodnonononono.hurt…pain. BadbadbadbadSpike."
Buffy crouched beside him,
"You know where Spike is?"
The vamp looked at her helplessly,
"Nonononononononono."
"Oh. Right. I get the point."
She went to leave but stopped when the vamp grabbed her leg and pointed in the direction of the flats on the corner. He Slayer patted the vamp on the head before dusting him.
"That was hardly fair, guy didn't even get a warning."
She turned, and looked up, Spike was sitting in a tree admiring the view.
"Looking for me, Slayer?"
"Don't flatter your self," she retorted, but then admitted, "Yeah I am. Gonna come down or do I have to come up and get you?"
Spike leaped out of the tree, landing gracefully on his feet,
"Wouldn't give you the satisfaction."
Buffy whipped Mr. Pointy from up her sleeve,
"Shall we?"
"Oh, if you insist."
Game-face on, Spike lunged at her, knocking her off balance. Before she could get up he'd knocked her out cold. He picked her up in a fireman's lift and carried her to Giles' front step, where he left her to be found by the Scooby Gang.
When Buffy came round, she was lying on Giles' sofa with a bandage round her hand.
"You've broken your finger."
She looked round, it was Anya.
"How'd I manage that?"
"Don't know, you must have fallen. Do you remember?"
"No….* yes *!! That bastard knocked me out!!"
"I take it we're talking about Spike."
Buffy sighed,
"Yeah…and my head hurts."
"Y'know that's * so * not like you…"
"Huh?"
"He beat you. The tables turned. Spike's * bad *."
Buffy glared at the ceiling, this was the first time Spike had got anywhere near hurting her since…..since…. a * long * time.
"Spike? Someone you see you."
"Who is it?"
"Some human."
"Tell 'im to bugger off."
Spike listened as he heard Johnny's muffled voice talk to "some human". Then he heard him coming back.
"He said to tell you he's dressed as G I Joe."
"Bollocks."
"Shall I tell him to bugger off again?"
"Um…you could try…."
When Spike was satisfied that Johnny was talking to G I Joe, he bolted. He literally jumped out of the window, which could have caused him serious damage had there not been a fire escape.
He reached the floor and ran headlong into a whole load more of "G I Joes".
Without thinking twice, he charged into them, game face on. In the end, he came out bruised and sore, but darn proud of himself, and very full.