Commercial Break
Announcer: Do you have male pattern baldness? Do you find clumps of your own hair all over the house? Look no further, Whighetti is here....!!
Whighetti Singers: Whighetti, when you're in a hurry. Put it on your head, it looks real furry!
Announcer: Not sold in stores, restaurants or insane asylums.
~~
{Scene opens in a white room. A familiar silhouette sits at a table.}
Bejita: Hi, friends. My name is Bejita. You may recognize me from such shows as the long-running "Dragonball" series or the rather short running "Vegetable Patch" series. I am here to talk to you about a serious problem.
{He gets up and moves around the table to sit on the front edge.}
Bejita: Chibis. They're everywhere. And there's only one thing to do... Call Bejita's Chibi Exterminators!!
{The number 1-888-CHIBI-KILL appears at the bottom of the screen.}
Bejita: Call 1-888-CHIBI-KILL. That's 1-888-CHIBI-KILL. Operators are standing by. Here's one of our satisfied customers.
{Scene switches to Emperor Pilaf.}
Pilaf: Yeah, I wished this kid, Goku, into a chibi by mistake. So, I called Bejita's Chibi Exterminators, and it worked great!! Bejita killed that annoying kid and brought me his carcass! Two thumbs up!
Announcer: Remember, 1-888-CHIBI-KILL. Call in the next ten minutes and the first chibi-death is FREE!!
~
{Commercial opens with a car crash.}
Voice over: Have you been injured in a car accident or any other type of accident? If so, call 1-800-DUO-KILLS... Whoops, heh heh... wrong number.
{A rustling sound is heard as the screen switches to Dup flipping through a Rolodex.}
Duo: Never could work this thing... {Looks up} Oh, uh, hi, I'll get back to that number. Eh-hem. I'm Duo Maxwell, Attorney-at-Law. And I'm here to get you what you deserve! Somebody hit you with a car, I'll get you $1,000 or more! You stub your toe? We'll sue the people who make pavement for their pants!! Why, I'll even sue O.J. Simpson for the time you lost watching his trial! I... {He's interrupted by a knock on the door.}
Heero: Duo! Get out of the bathroom! And give Quatre back his video camera!!
Duo: *whiny* But Heero, I'm making a commercial!
Heero: You're not an attorney! Think about how you bungled up my case! (See Commercial Value 3) Now, if you don't come out. I'm coming in!!
Duo: No, wait. {Heero busts in and begins beating on Duo.} OW! Quit it! Stop! My leg...
Voice over: If you've been beaten on by a friend or spurned lover, call Quatre Raberba Winner, REAL Attorney-at-Law!
Duo: {In background} Very funny, Quatre! OW, HEERO!! STOP!
Quatre: Cut. {Turns off the camera.}
~
'Beru's Notes: Yes, I know kunzite is not the same color as malachite, but we were catering to the American audience who know Kunzite only as Malachite. Remember. VOTE ONLY FOR THE PEOPLE YOU WANT KICKED OFF!