title: Out of Order
author: Casix Thistlebane
Disclaimer: These guys aren't mine. I'm making no
money off of this.
That is all
Author's note: Story number two in the "Sound Checks"
series.
Out of Order
by Casix Thistlebane
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Oh my God, Xander, are you okay? Say something!"
"Um, ow?"
"Oh thank God, I thought you were dead,"
"I am, and I've gone to heaven...."
"What? ACK!!! You sonofa--"
*WHACK*
"Ow! Cordy, what'd you do that for?"
"You were staring at my.... Oh, people are
staring...."
"Good, there'll be plenty of witnesses when I file for
spouse abuse."
"Xander, we're not married."
"Oh shut up."
"What happened anyway?"
"I dunno. I was thirsty, so I went to get a drink
from the soda
machine, and whap."
"And whap?"
"Something must of hit me."
"And WHAP?! What kind of an explanation is that?"
"I TOLD you.... Um, maybe we should discuss this
elsewhere...."
"What? Oh yeah, the people...."
*CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP SCREE-WHUBUM*
"Okay, we're elsewhere?"
"The hallway?"
"You prefer the lunch room?"
"No, but considering what usually happens when we
fight..."
"Oh forget that. Back onto the topic at hand. What
the hell happened
in there?"
"I told you, I went to get a soda--"
"And whap. Yes, I know, but what does 'and whap'
mean?!"
"It hit me! Or zapped me or something. Next thing I
know, you're
kneeling over me, acting like you were the heroine in
some really bad
melodrama."
"Well, my boyfriend had just collapsed for some
unknown reason. I think
that I have the right to--"
"Who collapsed?!"
"I did. The soda machine zapped me."
"The soda machine?"
"That's what I said!"
"No it wasn't, you were too busy complaining about
that 'and whap'
business?"
"'And...' Never mind, I don't want to know. Now what
exactly
happened?"
"Here we go again..."
"Shut up, Cordy. You see, Will, I was just trying to
get myself a soda,
and when I touched the machine, it zapped me! I think
it might be
possessed or something!"
"Yeah, it's not at all possible that the thing just
had some loose
wiring...."
"Hey, whatever happened to worrying over your
boyfriend?"
"It died the second I realized that you were staring
at my breasts."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that would do it."
"Look, no matter what the reason, the soda machine
still... um... did
SOMETHING to Xander, so I think we should tell the
janitor."
"And what if he can't find anything wrong with it?"
"We tell Giles."
"Right. Good plan. Let's go."
*BZZZZZZT KER-THUNK*
"Auggghhhhhhhhhh!"
"And quickly, I think that thing just claimed another
victim."
"Right."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Shorry kidsh, I don't shee anything wrong on the
inshide,"
"Then what do you think might be causing the
electrocutions?"
"T'ain't nothing on the inshide, I can guarantee ya
that."
"But we've got to do something, otherwise, every kid
in the
shch--er--school will go thirsty!"
"Either that, Xander, or they can just bring their own
sodas."
"Well, shinsh it'ain't nothin' on the inshide, well
then, maybe it'sh
shomething on the outshide."
"Gee, and I thought Giles was smart...."
*WHACK*
"Hey, hey, Cordy, enough with the purse already!"
"Nope, nothin' on the front.... Wait a shecond,
what'sh thish?"
*FZZT*
"Ooh yeah, that'sh what I t'ought it wash, alright,"
"What is it?"
"Well Willow, it'sh a bug zapper."
"A bug zapper? Why would anyone put a bug zapper on
the soda machine?"
"Not too mention where...."
"Well, 'shnot a real bug zapper, you shee, it'sh short
of a forsh field,
around the buttonsh. Hash the shame"
*FZZT*
"Effect ash a bug zapper though. Jusht a little
shtronger."
"I wonder who put it there."
"The machine, probably."
"What?!"
"The machine. I've sheen thish before, a couple
timesh. After a long
time of ushe, you shee, the machine getsh tired of
giving away all of
itsh shodash. Sho it putsh thish short of protection
up, to dishcourage
foragersh and the like."
"Can you get rid of it?"
"Nope, nope, only thing for it ish to get a whole new
machine."
"How long will that take?"
"Not long, jusht a few daysh."
"Oh. Good."
"Of courshe, what with that new prinshiple and all,
the paper work will
take forever. The new machine should be up and
running in a couple of
monthsh."
"Noooooooooo..."
*THUNK*
"Xander?"
The End
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
=====
Casix Thistlebane
Exhalted Archivist of all things Ficapaloozian
http://www.angelfire.com/yt/ficapalooza/
"There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends."
--Schmendrick the Magician
author: Casix Thistlebane
Disclaimer: These guys aren't mine. I'm making no
money off of this.
That is all
Author's note: Story number two in the "Sound Checks"
series.
Out of Order
by Casix Thistlebane
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Oh my God, Xander, are you okay? Say something!"
"Um, ow?"
"Oh thank God, I thought you were dead,"
"I am, and I've gone to heaven...."
"What? ACK!!! You sonofa--"
*WHACK*
"Ow! Cordy, what'd you do that for?"
"You were staring at my.... Oh, people are
staring...."
"Good, there'll be plenty of witnesses when I file for
spouse abuse."
"Xander, we're not married."
"Oh shut up."
"What happened anyway?"
"I dunno. I was thirsty, so I went to get a drink
from the soda
machine, and whap."
"And whap?"
"Something must of hit me."
"And WHAP?! What kind of an explanation is that?"
"I TOLD you.... Um, maybe we should discuss this
elsewhere...."
"What? Oh yeah, the people...."
*CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP SCREE-WHUBUM*
"Okay, we're elsewhere?"
"The hallway?"
"You prefer the lunch room?"
"No, but considering what usually happens when we
fight..."
"Oh forget that. Back onto the topic at hand. What
the hell happened
in there?"
"I told you, I went to get a soda--"
"And whap. Yes, I know, but what does 'and whap'
mean?!"
"It hit me! Or zapped me or something. Next thing I
know, you're
kneeling over me, acting like you were the heroine in
some really bad
melodrama."
"Well, my boyfriend had just collapsed for some
unknown reason. I think
that I have the right to--"
"Who collapsed?!"
"I did. The soda machine zapped me."
"The soda machine?"
"That's what I said!"
"No it wasn't, you were too busy complaining about
that 'and whap'
business?"
"'And...' Never mind, I don't want to know. Now what
exactly
happened?"
"Here we go again..."
"Shut up, Cordy. You see, Will, I was just trying to
get myself a soda,
and when I touched the machine, it zapped me! I think
it might be
possessed or something!"
"Yeah, it's not at all possible that the thing just
had some loose
wiring...."
"Hey, whatever happened to worrying over your
boyfriend?"
"It died the second I realized that you were staring
at my breasts."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that would do it."
"Look, no matter what the reason, the soda machine
still... um... did
SOMETHING to Xander, so I think we should tell the
janitor."
"And what if he can't find anything wrong with it?"
"We tell Giles."
"Right. Good plan. Let's go."
*BZZZZZZT KER-THUNK*
"Auggghhhhhhhhhh!"
"And quickly, I think that thing just claimed another
victim."
"Right."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Shorry kidsh, I don't shee anything wrong on the
inshide,"
"Then what do you think might be causing the
electrocutions?"
"T'ain't nothing on the inshide, I can guarantee ya
that."
"But we've got to do something, otherwise, every kid
in the
shch--er--school will go thirsty!"
"Either that, Xander, or they can just bring their own
sodas."
"Well, shinsh it'ain't nothin' on the inshide, well
then, maybe it'sh
shomething on the outshide."
"Gee, and I thought Giles was smart...."
*WHACK*
"Hey, hey, Cordy, enough with the purse already!"
"Nope, nothin' on the front.... Wait a shecond,
what'sh thish?"
*FZZT*
"Ooh yeah, that'sh what I t'ought it wash, alright,"
"What is it?"
"Well Willow, it'sh a bug zapper."
"A bug zapper? Why would anyone put a bug zapper on
the soda machine?"
"Not too mention where...."
"Well, 'shnot a real bug zapper, you shee, it'sh short
of a forsh field,
around the buttonsh. Hash the shame"
*FZZT*
"Effect ash a bug zapper though. Jusht a little
shtronger."
"I wonder who put it there."
"The machine, probably."
"What?!"
"The machine. I've sheen thish before, a couple
timesh. After a long
time of ushe, you shee, the machine getsh tired of
giving away all of
itsh shodash. Sho it putsh thish short of protection
up, to dishcourage
foragersh and the like."
"Can you get rid of it?"
"Nope, nope, only thing for it ish to get a whole new
machine."
"How long will that take?"
"Not long, jusht a few daysh."
"Oh. Good."
"Of courshe, what with that new prinshiple and all,
the paper work will
take forever. The new machine should be up and
running in a couple of
monthsh."
"Noooooooooo..."
*THUNK*
"Xander?"
The End
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
=====
Casix Thistlebane
Exhalted Archivist of all things Ficapaloozian
http://www.angelfire.com/yt/ficapalooza/
"There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends."
--Schmendrick the Magician