Perhaps Another Time
(Heero's Point of View)
~Phoenixstar
(Part 2)
~~~
I watch her through
the window at lunch today. She
seems distressed, like she is looking for, no, like she is expecting to see
someone. I don't know why I watch
her, or why her scanning the room bothered me. Then I realise she is looking for me.
I don't
understand why, but I seem to always be drawn towards her, and no matter how I
hard I try to avoid it we end up in situations together. At first I though she was merely
curious about my secret, about what happened when she found me on that beach
after I crashed, but now I think it is something more, for I am curious about
her as well. Of course, my missions
are more important.
Suddenly I hear
screaming in the cafeteria. It is
in the corner nearest the window I am at. I can see the package uncovered by the end of the table. A bomb. Looking at it I know I won't have the time to disarm
it, the people had just better move out of there pretty quick. I don't know why, but I break the
window to get in. With all the
screams and commotion going on no one notices and I slip into the room.
"It's a
bomb!"
"It's an
attack on the school!"
"There are
soldiers!"
"There is a
mobile suit!"
I scowl in
annoyance. Trust these fools to
make such a fuss and lose their sense and reason. None of them will make it out alive if that act like
this. It's pure lunacy. I see her then, she is standing on the
table, shouting out to people around her, trying to calm them. I smirk, the pacifist and authoritative
girl is taking over, but her efforts seem to be in vain as no one seems to be
paying her any attention.
Before I can reach
her or call out I see a crowd pushing the table she is standing on in their
futile attempt to reach the door more quickly. The table starts to flip and I start running harder, but the
flow of people pushes me away from her and I just have to watch, fighting to
get to her, as she falls and hits the ground. At first she just lies there and I thought perhaps she was
knocked out by the fall, but even if she is knocked out I am going to have to
brave moving her or else she'll get trampled. When I see her stir I waste no time in grabbing her arm and
pulling her to her feet. I start
running pulling her towards the kitchen, the only unused exit in the room.
"Heero…" I hear her cry out, but I ignore her. No time for explanations now. I pause by the kitchen doors, and press
my ear against it, listening in case there are any soldiers in there. I figure there must be some in the
building because someone must have planted the bomb. Then again it could be one of the students working for
Oz. When I am sure the way is
clear I turn and kick open the door and pull her in after me.
I pull her through
the kitchen as fast as I can, knowing that she can't keep up with my
speed and I don't want to hurt her. I don't know why I am saving her, she knows my secret, I should
therefore destroy her, but why not? No time for questions now.
Suddenly I feel
resistance, and so I pull harder, but it only grows. I turn around to see what the problem is and see her looking
at the stove that one of the cooks must have left on. I pull her hand gently, trying to show her my urgency but
she insists. I do not let go of
her arm, I don't know why. I
see her struggling and realising we are wasting our time here I reach out with
my hand and apply some extra pressure to help her. I feel her flinch under my touch and she shivers. Is she afraid of me? I pull my hand back quickly and look in
the other direction.
I pull her to the
other side of the kitchen to the door. Once through I push her up against the wall and shield her with my body
in case there was any military looking for us. I can tell she is startled but I am happy she doesn't
scream out or faint like I am sure so many other girls would. I lean closer into her, bracing my arms
against the wall so I can concentrate on listening for approaching footsteps. I can feel her looking into my face, but
she should know better than to think the perfect soldier would betray his
thoughts that easily. I hear her
sigh and out of reflex I cover her mouth with my hand. I feel her tremble beneath my
touch and instantly regret the action. I pull my hand back, but look into her eyes and try to see what she is
feeling. She doesn't seem
scared of me, more of the situation. She understands.
I can hear no one is
coming our way so I pull her along the corridors. She watches the walls in wonder. I assume she has never seen this part of the school
before. Suddenly I hear footsteps
approaching and seeing there is no where to hide, pull her behind me and pull
out a gun with my free hand and point it at the intersecting hallway. She notices the gun and freezes but I
didn't notice and kept pulling only to find her flying into my arms. I am startled by the movement, and set
her back from me so she can regain her balance. Suddenly a group of students
comes round and scream when they see I have my gun pointed directly at
them. Suddenly I wonder ifq
pulling the weapon out was such a good idea, and then again it was for
protection purposes. I will
definitely have to switch schools after this; it is too much attention being caught
with a weapon in school grounds. I
feel her delicate touch on my arm as he pulls my hand and the gun behind my
back concealing it from view. She
gives me a gentle push forward and so I start running again. When we are almost at the end of the
passage way I hear her turn around and yell back at them.
"Get out of
here as soon as you can. It's dangerous to stay here, meet up with the others
outside…."
I simply grunt at
this. I don't want her to
draw attention to us even though I know she is doing the right thing. Finally we are at an exit. I pull her to the side of the large
metal door and let go of her wrist. She pulls it to her chest and I worry that maybe I hurt it even though I
tried to be as gentle with her as I could. I open the door a fraction to see what the situation is
outside. I see the students being
gathered in a group and being led away by the teachers to my left. That would be too easy a target for
both of us. There is nothing to my
right. Who ever left the bomb was
probably working alone. I sigh
with a bit of relief and fling the door open and start running, hoping she will
follow my example.
I run towards the end
of the edge of the field and then turn. She is running much slower than I and is about halfway across the
field. I know she wont have enough
time to make is all the way to the trees for cover before the bomb blows so I
run back to help her. I
don't know why. I grab her
arm and turn back to the trees. Then there is a powerful trembling in the ground and I fell us being
flung forward from the explosion.
I feel her in my arms
and can see that she is hurt. I am
as well, but it is nothing I can't handle. I don't bother putting her down and just turn and run
into the woods to the only place I know. The clearing near where I keep my gundam.
I stop in the
clearing and can feel her stir in arms. Thinking she is uncomfortable I try to set her to her feet. She must have hurt her ankle or
something because she cried out and fell back into her arms. Seeing as she didn't seem
comfortable in my arms I simply offer her my shoulder and help her make her way
to a large tree at the opposite side of the clearing. When she is sitting I walk back out into the clearing and
look around. I pull out my gun
again. I hear her draw a
frightened breath. She probably
thinks I am going to take up my threat and kill her now. Not being able to stand the fear so
evident in her eyes I run into the woods, making sure no one has followed us.
Once I am sure that
we were not followed I put my gun away and walk back to the clearing. I watch her hesitantly from the
trees. Her slow rhythmic breathing
alerts me that she is asleep. I
approach her slowly, not wanting to wake her. I look her up and down and take in her cuts and ankle. The cuts I easily deal with. None are bad and all I need to do is
run some water over them to clean them up. For her ankle I find a few sticks as supports and rip off a
strip of my shirt, it doesn't matter; I am switching schools anyways, and
use it to bind her ankle. I can
feel the bone isn't broken and therefore shouldn't take too much
time to heal. I sit down beside
her and fall asleep as well.
When I wake it is
late into the night. I look up at
the stairs bright in the sky. I
hate space, for I have never had any good memories of the place. Its tranquillity is merely a mask for
its horrors. I feel her stir
besides me but do not move my focus from the sky. I can feel her looking at me, the questions on the tip of
the tongue that she burns to ask of me, but for some reason she doesn't
ask me anything. I realised,
relieved, that I probably couldn't answer her now. I don't know the answers
yet. I need more time. When I gather the strength to look at
her I realise she shivering. It's a warm night, so I offer her my jacket. She seems hesitant and I curse myself
thinking that she is still scared of me. When I turn away she puts the jacket on and before long she is sleeping
again.
I watch her sleep. She is so peaceful and pure like
that. I look at the sky and think
of its horrors of which I am a part. I don't deserve to be here, with her, just yet. I don't know why. I can't answer Relena's
questions yet.
Perhaps another time.