Disclaimer: None of these guys are mine, so I don't
deserve any money. (sigh)
Oh yeah, this would be another sound check.
Plotholes and Pizza Boxes
by Casix Thistlebane
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Remind me again what we're doing here?"
"It's called a stake out, Cordelia. You know, you
find a place where you think the bad guy is going to
be, and you wait there until they show up."
"But we've BEEN waiting here for a REALLY LONG TIME!"
"Um, actually, we've only been here for twenty
minutes. This could take hours."
"Thank you Guitar Boy, you've made me feel so much
better about this situation."
"That's what I'm here for."
"Pizza!"
"Oh thank God. Xander, you're a saint!"
"Gee, Buff, do you think you could say that again?
Like, sometime when I have a tape recorder on hand?
That's definitely a moment for posterity. And you
know, posterity is a--ACK!"
*THUMP*
"Sit down and eat your pizza."
"Yes'm."
"So. Do you really think the vampires are going to
show up tonight?"
"Well, Billy the Snitch said that they'd be at the
warehouse at around midnight,"
"How do we know that this is where they're going to
be?"
"What do you mean, Will?"
"Well, there are just so MANY warehouses around here,
who's to say that this one is the one where they're
going to be? I mean, it doesn't look like anyone's
been in there for... like... years."
"Yes it does. It has a cage in it."
"That was probably left there by the original owners
of the place."
"Gah gim ba bifnif moob meeb a cayp im a mahwmouf
ammay?"
"Okay, try that again, only this time SWALLOW first."
*GULP*
"What kind of business would need a cage in a
warehouse anyway?"
*...*
"You know, that's actually a really good question."
"Hey, yeah. Come to think of it, there are a lot of
things that don't make much sense! Like, Oz's van!"
"What's wrong with my van?"
"Well, first, it was well, zebra colored. And you
drove from the wrong side of the car. But then, all
of the sudden, when we went to the army base, it was
green, and you, uh, drove it right."
"Huh. You know, I never noticed that before."
"And, why is it that we all dress weird?"
"It's called fashion, Willow."
"No. I mean, yeah, but... no. Think about it. On
the exact same kind of night, you and Cordelia could
be wearing those really tiny tank top things you like,
and be fine, but then Xander is wearing a bunch of
really big shirts, and a coat and everything?"
"Yeah! And why is it when you dust a vampire, it's
clothes turn to dust too?"
"Well, they're touching it and--"
"Yeah, but YOU'RE touching it too half the time, and
you've never turned to dust. So shouldn't there be,
like, a massive excess of clothing lying around?"
"And how come all the gravestones in the graveyard
look all fresh and stuff, even when there should be
some that are hundreds of years old?"
"Hey, don't ask me, it's not like I decide these
things or anything! I'm just the Slayer!"
"And a wonderful Slayer you are too, Buff. But the
pizza is getting cold. Are you gonna eat that?"
"Go for it."
"Wait, now I'm confused. A whole bunch of little
details in our lives are totally screwed up, but the
rest of it makes sense... sort of."
"Try not to think about it Cordy. You might strain
something."
"Shut up Xander. I mean, how am I supposed to make
sense of all this?"
"Chalk it up to Hellmouth and forget we ever discussed
it?"
".... Actually, that's not such a bad idea."
"Good. Now eat pizza."
"But it's all greasey and... oh, all right."
*CHEW, CHOMP (OTHER DISGUSTING EATING NOISES)*
"So Xander, have you started on your bio homework
yet?"
"Didn't we already take biology?"
*...*
"Nevermind."
The End
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
=====
Casix Thistlebane
Exhalted Archivist of all things Ficapaloozian
http://www.angelfire.com/yt/ficapalooza/
"There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends."
--Schmendrick the Magician
deserve any money. (sigh)
Oh yeah, this would be another sound check.
Plotholes and Pizza Boxes
by Casix Thistlebane
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Remind me again what we're doing here?"
"It's called a stake out, Cordelia. You know, you
find a place where you think the bad guy is going to
be, and you wait there until they show up."
"But we've BEEN waiting here for a REALLY LONG TIME!"
"Um, actually, we've only been here for twenty
minutes. This could take hours."
"Thank you Guitar Boy, you've made me feel so much
better about this situation."
"That's what I'm here for."
"Pizza!"
"Oh thank God. Xander, you're a saint!"
"Gee, Buff, do you think you could say that again?
Like, sometime when I have a tape recorder on hand?
That's definitely a moment for posterity. And you
know, posterity is a--ACK!"
*THUMP*
"Sit down and eat your pizza."
"Yes'm."
"So. Do you really think the vampires are going to
show up tonight?"
"Well, Billy the Snitch said that they'd be at the
warehouse at around midnight,"
"How do we know that this is where they're going to
be?"
"What do you mean, Will?"
"Well, there are just so MANY warehouses around here,
who's to say that this one is the one where they're
going to be? I mean, it doesn't look like anyone's
been in there for... like... years."
"Yes it does. It has a cage in it."
"That was probably left there by the original owners
of the place."
"Gah gim ba bifnif moob meeb a cayp im a mahwmouf
ammay?"
"Okay, try that again, only this time SWALLOW first."
*GULP*
"What kind of business would need a cage in a
warehouse anyway?"
*...*
"You know, that's actually a really good question."
"Hey, yeah. Come to think of it, there are a lot of
things that don't make much sense! Like, Oz's van!"
"What's wrong with my van?"
"Well, first, it was well, zebra colored. And you
drove from the wrong side of the car. But then, all
of the sudden, when we went to the army base, it was
green, and you, uh, drove it right."
"Huh. You know, I never noticed that before."
"And, why is it that we all dress weird?"
"It's called fashion, Willow."
"No. I mean, yeah, but... no. Think about it. On
the exact same kind of night, you and Cordelia could
be wearing those really tiny tank top things you like,
and be fine, but then Xander is wearing a bunch of
really big shirts, and a coat and everything?"
"Yeah! And why is it when you dust a vampire, it's
clothes turn to dust too?"
"Well, they're touching it and--"
"Yeah, but YOU'RE touching it too half the time, and
you've never turned to dust. So shouldn't there be,
like, a massive excess of clothing lying around?"
"And how come all the gravestones in the graveyard
look all fresh and stuff, even when there should be
some that are hundreds of years old?"
"Hey, don't ask me, it's not like I decide these
things or anything! I'm just the Slayer!"
"And a wonderful Slayer you are too, Buff. But the
pizza is getting cold. Are you gonna eat that?"
"Go for it."
"Wait, now I'm confused. A whole bunch of little
details in our lives are totally screwed up, but the
rest of it makes sense... sort of."
"Try not to think about it Cordy. You might strain
something."
"Shut up Xander. I mean, how am I supposed to make
sense of all this?"
"Chalk it up to Hellmouth and forget we ever discussed
it?"
".... Actually, that's not such a bad idea."
"Good. Now eat pizza."
"But it's all greasey and... oh, all right."
*CHEW, CHOMP (OTHER DISGUSTING EATING NOISES)*
"So Xander, have you started on your bio homework
yet?"
"Didn't we already take biology?"
*...*
"Nevermind."
The End
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
=====
Casix Thistlebane
Exhalted Archivist of all things Ficapaloozian
http://www.angelfire.com/yt/ficapalooza/
"There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends."
--Schmendrick the Magician