Kaoru woke with a sense of profound disorientation. She could not remember falling asleep, only hours of relentless turning and tossing combined with a homesickness so deep that it clawed at her throat. She soon remembered where she was and why, but kept her eyes resolutely closed, hoping that perhaps it had all been a dream, that any minute now her sisters would come and pull her out of bed...
She sighed, and forced her eyes open. She was in the house she had eaten dinner at the night before, the one she had tenatively claimed as her own. She crawled out of the futon and went to the window; the view was exactly the same as it had been the night before, the city just as empty, the sky the same shade of rose. There was no way of knowing how long she had slept. Kaoru bit her lip, more unnerved by her inability to sense time passing than by the unnatural silence.
She turned around, expecting to see the kimono she had torn off the night before still lying in a heap beside the futon. Her eyes widened upon seeing that it had disappeared, and a new one was folded nearly on a stool beside her bed--sky-blue, with embroidered butterflies in silver gilt thread that gleamed in the half-light. Kaoru had never seen anything so beautiful. She reached out to touch the shimmering embroidery, feeling a small pang of guilt for the other kimono, which she had treated so carelessly. But it had disappeared, along with the clothes she had brought from home. There was nothing else for her to wear. She lifted it from the stool and put it on, tying the obi around her waist with a silver cord and feeling self-conscious. She expected someone to appear, solely to chastise her for daring to wear clothes rich enough to belong to an empress.
But no one came. After several minutes of anxious waiting, she slid the door to her room open and peered out.
The outer room looked just as it had the night before, with one exception: breakfast was laid out on the table, more food than she could ever hope to finish resting on finely decorated china. There was no sign of how it had appeared, and Kaoru wondered... perhaps someone hid in the city and cooked, leaving meals and sneaking away without waiting for thanks. Perhaps ghosts caused them to appear from thin air.
Kaoru breathed in deep and tried not to be nervous. However it had been made, it was still food, and she was certainly hungry. She sat down before the table and began to eat. The meal was freshly prepared, and very good; she could feel her spirits lifting with every bite. She fingered the china cup that held her tea. "Where did you come from?" she mused aloud. "Did...did he do this for me?" She couldn't bring herself to say Battousai's name. She couldn't imagine of anyone else who could be responsible, but the idea of that stern, dark man preparing breakfast was inconceivable. No matter how polite he'd been the night before, no matter how quiet his manner had been when he asked, "Will you marry me?"...
Kaoru shivered. She refused to think of it, and forced her mind back to the mystery of her breakfast. If not the Battousai, who? Perhaps there was someone else hiding here, someone even he was unaware of...
She laid down her chopsticks and considered. Battousai had not sounded as though he expected her to do anything here. Or as though he intended to kill her. Perhaps she was free to explore, if she wished...free to try and learn something about the mystery of this city. Free to keep herself occupied.
The woman. She would look for the woman she had seen the day before--the only person besides the Battousai that Kaoru had seen in the city. The hope of finding companionship was tangible in Kaoru's throat. It would mean much, to know that she was not alone here.
That determined, she was anxious to get started. She looked down at the emptied plates, wrinkling her nose. "I hate doing dishes," she muttered, not wanting to postpone her search for even a minute. They could wait until she got back. There was no one around to mind, except the Battousai...and if he wanted her breakfast plates cleaned immediately, he could do them himself. Kaoru stood, and went outside.
The street was empty, and no lights flickered in the other houses. The city was as abandoned as it had been the night before. The sky was still poised between day and dusk. There was neither sun nor moon--only the pink-purple-gold that shows just as the sun sets, or just before it rises. Only barely enough light to see by.
She peered right and left, searching for any sign of another inhabitant, but found only shadows. Finally she dared to approach one of the houses and glance inside.
A candle blazed into life, brightening the room; Kaoru jumped back, startled. There was no one inside who could have lit it, no tinder or matches or anything that could have been used to spark the flame. Cautiously, she stepped inside. More candles flared as she entered. Soon, the room was filled with light. But there wasn't much to see;the interior was nearly bare of furnishings. There was a table in the center of the room, a small bookshelf next to one wall, and a painting of the ocean hanging above it. Nothing more.
Kaoru walked over to the bookshelf and examined it. She had not read any of the books herself, but they seemed in good condition, and the shelf shone as though it had been polished recently. There was none of the dust that should have accumulated in an abandoned city. Even the floor was swept.
But the house was empty. Aside from the flickering candles and the clean floors, there was no sign of life. Disheartened, Kaoru left.
Her wanderings for the rest of the day continued in much the same vein. The city was endless, every house like the one before, each one containing only the barest necessities of a home. Her only landmarks were the long road leading to the gate and the orchard in the center of the city. Eternity stretched out in all other directions. There was no sign of the mysterious woman from the night before...no sign of anyone, not even the Battousai himself. By that point, Kaoru admitted silently, she would have welcomed even his company. She had been gone for what seemed like several hours before realizing that she could not remember how to get back to the house she had tentatively claimed as hers. The thought of being completely lost in the bleak sequence of houses was terrifying.
Just before she began to panic, she saw that one--and only one--of the buildings on the street ahead of her had a light shining in the window. She ran towards it gratefully, glad of having a place that she could try to think of as a home...or if nothing else, as a respite from the rest of the city. As she entered she kicked off her sandals and rolled her kimono sleeves back, preparing to do battle with the breakfast dishes she'd left lying on the table a lifetime ago.
But the breakfast dishes were gone. In their place a hearty lunch was resting...or perhaps dinner, for her stomach had been complaining for a long time. Kaoru sighed, thinking that she would gladly have cleaned the dishes herself, if only she could have met the person who did it in her stead.
"Kaoru-dono?"
She nearly shrieked, startled by the sound of her own name, by the first sound she had heard all day. She turned; Battousai standing in the doorway, watching her. "Y-yes?" her voice shook.
"May I come in?" he asked politely.
Kaoru nodded uncertainly, wondering why he had bothered to ask.
"Thank you." He stepped out of his shoes and entered. He glanced at her with surprise. "That's not the kimono you were wearing yesterday."
She blushed, nervousness overwhelming her. "I found it when I woke up this morning. Was I...should I have left it alone?"
Battousai shook his head immediately. "It must have been meant for you; by all means, wear it. The color suits you. May I join you for dinner?"
Kaoru felt her heart beat more loudly. "You can do anything you wish, Battousai. This is your city."
Battousai's smile held more irony than amusement. "No."
He sat, offering no more explanation for his cryptic response. Kaoru hesitated, then decided not to ask, distracting herself by pouring rice into a bowl and handing it to him. He accepted with dignity, and said nothing more as he ate.
Kaoru picked at her food rather than eating it, and felt the silence bearing down around her. She drummed her fingers on the side of her own rice-bowl, focusing on the rhythmic sound instead of the silence that stretched taut between herself and her companion.
"What did you do today?" Battousai asked suddenly.
Kaoru was startled into the truth. "I explored all the houses, looking for...I was hoping..." her voice trailed off, unwilling to admit that she had been praying that she was not trapped all alone in this place with him.
He half-smiled. "Yes. When I first arrived, I did the same thing. I have never seen any other living creature, however. No person, no animal. No sounds, save those I make myself."
"I...don't understand," Kaoru said, confused. "When you first arrived? You...you were hoping to find other people, too? How long have you been here?"
"A long time."
Something in his voice forbade her to ask any more questions on the subject. She swallowed, trying to think of a way to direct the conversation back to a safer topic. Her mind seized on something that had perplexed her earlier. "Who cooks, here? Where did this meal come from? Did you...?" She let her voice trail off, not sure how to phrase what she wanted to know.
Battousai shook his head immediately. "No. It is the same for you, I think, as it is for me. When I wake, breakfast is waiting. The dishes disappear when the meal ends. I don't know why."
"You don't? But..." Kaoru couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice.
"But what?"
"I...nothing," she said. She turned her attention back to her dinner. The mystery was more confusing than ever. She'd assumed that the Battousai was the master of the city, but it almost sounded as though he were a prisoner. And that made no sense.
For a while there was only the chinking and chewing sounds of two people eating, until Battousai paused, chopsticks still raised to his mouth, to look at her intently. "I told you that there was nothing for you to fear. This place is strange, yes. Food appears with no sign of preparation, the sky never changes, the trees are always flowering. But there is nothing that I know of that can harm you here, except for me. And I promise, by my sword, that I will never-- could never-- hurt you."
Kaoru nodded as though agreeing, but inwardly wondered why, if that was the case, he still carried his two swords.
Perhaps Battousai noticed the shadows in her face, the way she couldn't meet his eyes. "You will not trust me, then?" he asked, almost sadly.
Something angry in Kaoru raised its head. "You've given me little reason to trust you," she retorted.
He sighed, a sound of such pain that she almost winced at hearing it, and more than half wanted to apologize.
"Will you marry me?"
Kaoru stared at him, then let out a sob of laughter, incredulous. "If I don't trust you, how could I ever marry you?"
His smile was ironic, turned inward with mockery. The sight of it hurt her even more than the sigh he had uttered only moments before, and she looked away. He stood up, letting the chopsticks fall, and bowed his head to her. "Thank you for letting me share your meal," he said, as though she were a gracious lady conferring an honor upon him, rather than the girl he had forced to join him in confinement. Kaoru heard him leave, heard his footsteps on the gravel street outside. Only then did she let out the breath she had been holding.
She tried to finish her meal, but her appetite had entirely evaporated, and she could not even pretend to find the food appealing. She pushed the dishes away, looking down at the table and trying not to feel guilty. He was a monster. He was a killer. He'd forced her to come to this awful, terrifying place. He was her jailer, the person who kept her from returning to the family she loved. He didn't deserve her trust. As for marrying him...it was absurd. She couldn't marry someone she didn't love, and she couldn't possibly love someone she didn't trust. The very idea was inconceivable. And where did he think he'd find a priest to perform the marriage ceremony in this empty city, anyway?
Frustrated, she stood up and walked back outside, hoping that a walk in the orchard would clear her head. She looked at the street carefully, wondering if...but Battousai was gone, driven away by her harsh words. There would be no chance to apologize, not immediately. She sighed and walked in a direction that she hoped would take her to the orchard. She found it quickly and easily, and let herself wander lost in thought.
It was not true, what she had told Battousai the day before...that all she knew of him was the threat he had made to her father. She had heard all of the stories of the legendary killer...his thirst for blood, his invincible sword, the number of men he had slain-- which grew larger every time the story was told. One of her own sisters had invented tales in which Battousai was a demon who hunted down innocent girls, slitting their throats or strangling them with their own hair ribbons. They had given Kaoru nightmares for years, even after her sister had stopped trying to scare her. Even though she had never really believed them.
The stories seemed even more unbelievable now, faced with this quiet man. The contradiction was too great. She could not be afraid of him. She could be angry with him, even hate him...but not fear him. So she did trust him, at least a little. She could at least be polite.
Even if she shivered every time the word Battousai passed across her lips, every time she looked at the scar that marred his features. Even if she would always refuse to marry him, no matter how many times he asked or what he threatened her with.
As she thought that, Kaoru noticed something odd. There was a large shadow up ahead, hidden between the trees. It looked like a building. Not part of the city, but something separate. Even as she noticed that, she realized that the trees around her had thickened so that she could no longer see the city at all...as though she were standing in a boundless forest instead of a small orchard.
As the approached, she could see the building more clearly. It was a cabin, nestled deep in the heart of the trees. Curious, Kaoru pushed the door open and looked inside, then stopped dead in the doorway from surprise.
There was a woman lying on the floor, her kimono spread in a white pool around her. The same woman that Kaoru had seen in the street, the day before yesterday. Kaoru rushed over and knelt beside her, reaching out to check the woman's pulse.
Her hand passed through the woman's body.
Kaoru jerked her hand back, then reached again. She hadn't imagined it; the woman seemed solid enough, but could not be touched.
The woman stirred; Kaoru leapt back, her heart racing in fear, and watched as the woman sat up and held a hand to her head, moaning softly in pain. "Are...are you all right?" Kaoru asked tremulously. There was no response, and Kaoru knew that her question had gone unheard, that she could do no more than observe the scene unfolding in front of her.
The woman let out a small cry and pounced on something lying a few feet away-- a delicate, trampled plum blossom. She held it to her chest, hair framing her face and shoulders slumping into a position that spoke more eloquently of despair than any poet ever could. Kaoru felt tears start up in her eyes, and wanted more than ever to be able to comfort this strange woman, to know what had caused her to feel such suffering. She wanted to beat her hands against the walls in frustration, to rail against her inability to act. But she only watched, hands clasped tightly together in front of her.
The woman pulled herself to her feet, swaying slightly as though faint. Her eyes fell upon something else lying on the floor: a tanto blade, the steel glinting hard in the fading light. She picked it up, gripped it in her right hand. Her left fingers still curled protectively around the plum blossom.
She walked to the door and looked outside. Kaoru followed, expecting to see the orchard in full bloom, as it had been when she arrived.
But the scene that met her eyes was entirely different. The cabin was surrounded by forest and falling snow. It had been warm, spring weather when she set foot in the cabin; now a blizzard raged. The scene didn't look at all familiar.
Then Kaoru gasped, for she could see two figures outlined by the snow. The first was a tall, heavily muscled man, who held his sword up in front of him as a banner.
The other was the Battousai.
Kaoru almost called his name, almost ran to him, overwhelmed with relief at seeing someone that she knew would be able to see her and speak to her. The notion was checked by the realization that this was not the Battousai she knew. He looked years younger, and his left cheek was marked by only one scar. His clothes were ripped and stained with the blood from multiple wounds. It was obvious that only supreme willpower was keeping him on his feet, his sword in his hand. His eyes were more than deadly.
The first man shouted and ran forward; Battousai let out a bloodcurdling shriek and rushed to meet him.
Kaoru had nearly forgotten the woman, and so was startled when a flash of white and blue darted in front of her, between the two combatants. She screamed as the realization of what was about to happen hit her.
But it was too late; the woman had thrown herself between Battousai and his opponent, and Battousai's sword had gone directly through her and into the other man's heart. The three were frozen into a tableau for several agonizing moments. With a cry of negation, Battousai withdrew his sword. The other man fell to the ground, dead. Battousai just barely managed to catch the woman in his arms and sink with her onto the snow.
Kaoru crept forward, starring in horrified fascination as Battousai held the woman against his chest, weeping. The woman opened her eyes. Slowly, her hands shaking, she lifted the hand that held the knife-- and crossed the scar on Battousai's cheek. She whispered something Kaoru couldn't hear. The blade fell from her hand; her arm fell limp. Battousai buried his tears in her shoulder.
Kaoru fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face as well. She couldn't bear to look up and see the woman's dead body accusing her, the raw grief wracking the Battousai's frame, the blood staining the snow. She couldn't bear it. She hid her face in her hands and wished desperately that she'd never seen the woman in the first place. Anything would be preferable to being forced to witness this, being unable to help or prevent what had happened. It wasn't fair. She'd wanted to know that woman, had wanted desperately for someone to be her companion in this terrifying place where ghosts walked and no one but the Battousai could see her. And now not even he saw her. Perhaps Kaoru was one of the ghosts now herself, and would stay here forever, unseen, unheard.
She cried until there were no more tears and her throat was harsh with sobs. Only then did she notice that she wasn't cold, even though a blizzard was raging around her. More, she remembered that she hadn't been cold even when she had stood in the doorway, watching over the ghost woman's shoulder as two men prepared to kill each other in front of her.
Kaoru looked up, and was too weary to be surprised at what she saw. The blizzard was gone; the dead bodies and the weeping man were gone. The trees were filled with blossoms, drifting down in a shimmering pink rain. Between their trunks she could see the houses of the city she'd spent the day exploring. She could even see her house, a light in the window beckoning her home.
She turned to look behind her, already knowing what she would see.
The cabin had disappeared.
FYI, my webpage is updated much, much more frequently than this page...so if you look for new installments of my stories, you'll have better luck looking there than here. =)
This is nominated for an award. Yay! Wanna see?
ashfae@duct-tape.mit.edu
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Pagoda/8264/anime.html