disclaimer: I own none of this (excepting plot); J.K. Rowling does.
A/N: If you haven't read "true", the first part of this story, you should for continuity's sake. If you have read it, then you know that this is f/f SLASH. If you do not approve, DO NOT READ THIS. Again, please r/r. Flames based on the quality and style of my writing are welcome. Those rooted in homophobia are NOT. Thank you for reading.
tell
The sun shone brightly though Ginny's bedroom window, illuminating the fiery red hair that spread across her pillow. Her pale, freckled skin was slightly tearstained, and her eyes were swollen, and she was beautiful. Hermione kissed her own fingers, then gently pressed them against Ginny's cheek. Ginny stirred, a smile spreading across her lips. "G'morning," she whispered, turning over and burying her face in Hermione's neck. She was clinging tightly to sleepiness, not terribly eager to face the morning.
"Ginny, it's late. We really should get up," Hermione said, her reasonable old self showing.
Ginny murmured something that sounded remarkably like trollish, then looked up at Hermione, pouting.
"Please, don't make me. I don't think I can face this yet. As soon as we go down there, we'll have to tell Harry, and then all hell will break loose."
Hermione had actually forgotten about Harry. Forgotten that twelve hours ago she had thought that she might be in love with him. All night Ginny had occupied her every thought, and now she was forced into reality with the realisation that she had betrayed Harry. "We don't have to tell him right away, do we?" Hermione failed to conceal her anxiety.
"No, we don't have to tell him, you do. We can't just pretend that nothing happened." Ginny raised her eyebrows, as Hermione looked away guiltily. "Hermi, we can't. It's wrong, and it's not fair to Harry. Or to me."
"I know, Gin. I promise I'll tell him. I just need a little time, okay?" Hermione pressed her forehead against Ginny's, looking straight into her eyes. "You know this is what I want, right?"
"I know. But he needs to know too."
Hermione nodded resignedly. Ginny got out of bed and headed towards the door, pulling a dressing gown over her night shirt. She glanced at Hermione as she left, the distress clear in her blue eyes. Now alone, Hermione held her face in her hands, groaning softly. She had to tell Harry as soon as possible, but once she told him, it could be the end of their friendship as well as their relationship. She knew that she couldn't bear losing him completely. Yet by not telling him, she was risking her relationship with Ginny. Her mind was spinning with the horrible possibilities. She feared that she would lose two of her best friends, both of whom she loved dearly, and neither of whom she could deceive.
* * *
Evening fell, and Hermione's secret still weighed heavily on her. Ginny repeatedly caught her eye, shooting her pleading looks. Hermione knew that it hurt her to keep secret what she had wanted for so long. At one point, Ginny had sat down beside her on the couch and instinctively placed her hand on top of Hermione's. She pulled away, but her pain at doing this was evident. "Please tell him." Ginny mouthed, her eyes shining. Harry, being absorbed in a catalogue of Quidditch equipment, saw none of this. Ron, however, noticed Ginny's hurt expression and was concerned.
"Gin, you okay?" he asked quietly.
Ginny blinked back tears and nodded, "Yeah, but I...I need to talk to you...alone." Her voice had become suddenly quite urgent. Ron sensed this and took her arm, urging her out of the room.
"Let's go, upstairs." he muttered, and Ginny obeyed followed, glancing back at Hermione, her expression pleading.
Hermione was alone with Harry for the first time that day, and she found herself feeling strangely ill. She knew that Ginny was telling Ron about the two of them, and that if she didn't tell Harry now, Ron would have to, out of loyalty to his friend. Hermione suspected that Ginny was trying to leave her with no choice but to tell Harry. She resented it, but understood nonetheless. Her stomach churned and her palms were sweating. Harry was now looking at her, but he still didn't seem to notice anything amiss.
"I hope Ginny's okay. Have you noticed she's been acting strange?"
"A little," Hermione took a deep breath, "Harry, I'm glad we're alone now, because I want to..." she broke off, losing her nerve. Harry grinned mischievously, getting entirely the wrong idea. He sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. She was surprisingly pacified by this, expecting to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He brushed the hair from the side of her face and began planting tiny kisses around her hairline. His lips found their way to hers and she began to succumb, the familiarity consoling her. At once she thought of Ginny and pushed Harry away, immensely guilty.
"Herm, what's wrong? Did I do something?" Harry said, sounding genuinely concerned. Hermione shook her head, afraid to speak, feeling the sobs catch in her throat. Harry tried to pull her towards him, but she resisted.
"Harry, I can't," she burst out, "we can't...I mean, something's changed and I...we can't...see each other..."
Harry's face fell, his mouth gaping in shock. "Why? What happened Hermione?"
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice trembling, "I'm so-"
"Are you breaking up with me?" Harry got no answer from Hermione, but her silence spoke volumes, "Hermione, you can't just...I mean, you have to tell me why...why now, why here, why?" Harry, realising he was becoming incoherent, stopped himself, breathing deeply in an attempt to regain control.
"It's not your fault, Harry," Hermione said weakly, "I'm sorry. There was nothing you did or could have done-"
"That really doesn't help, you know," Harry pressed his clenched fists against his eyes, "Can you please just leave now?" he said sharply, "I need to be alone. I can't think while you're here."
Hermione bit her lip, abandoning her fight against tears, "Don't do this, Harry, please, I need to talk to you. I need you to listen to me, please..."
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little busy having my heart broken if you don't mind. I really can't deal with anything else right now."
"But...I...please..." Hermione was babbling, trying to get through to Harry, but he had already shut himself off from her. She was familiar with this behaviour. His jaw became tense, his face paled, and his usually bright green eyes were cold and devoid of any feeling. He had used the same defence many times since she had met him, usually in the face of great pain or fear. He would stare fixedly at a point beyond the cause of his pain and shut off his emotions completely. It frightened her. She had never seen him cry, even though he had more cause to than most. She knew that, for him to be using this defence on her, she must have caused him more grief than she had thought possible at first. She realised that it would be best to leave him alone now, for as he lost control of his temper, he equally lost control of his magical abilities, and he was known to cause rather horrible things to happen to the object of his anger.
Hermione stumbled from the room, now weeping freely. She climbed the stairs wearily and reluctantly, knowing that Ginny would be angry at her for not telling Harry the truth. She also knew that Harry hated her, and although his hate might fade over time, that they would never be friends again like they had been before. She ended up at Ginny's bedroom and entered without a second thought, expecting the room to be empty. She was surprised to find Ron and Ginny in there. The look on Ron's face told her that he now knew the truth, and therefore could guess what had just transpired between her and Harry. Ron held out a hand to her in a gesture of support, but she didn't accept it. She was ashamed of herself, and rather embarrassed to be seen in such a wretched state. She collapsed on the bed and buried her head in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. She immediately felt Ginny's body press against her in a warm hug and her hands lovingly smoothed Hermione's hair. Ron, sensing his presence was superfluous, headed towards the door, stopping momentarily to pat Ginny's shoulder in a strained-but-distinctly-brotherly way, then exited quietly.
"What happened, Hermi?" Ginny murmured.
"He hates me..."
"Did you think he would take it well?"
"I didn't have a chance to tell him why," Hermione gasped, "He wouldn't let me."
"So you broke it off and just left him with no explanation?"
"You didn't see him, Gin," Hermione turned onto her back, speaking with a sudden intensity, "It was killing him. I've never seen him so upset."
"Would it have been easier to be with both of us? Just keep lying to him?"
"No. But I never thought I could hurt him so badly. I mean, he's my friend. And I do love him, Ginny. Just not..."
"Not the same way you love me." Ginny couldn't hide the smile creeping onto her lips.
"No. Not like I love you, Ginny." Hermione smiled through her tears, much more weakly, but genuinely. Ginny lay next to her and rested her head next to Hermione's. They were nearly still, moving only occasionally to give each other soft kisses. Their chests rose and fell, Hermione's hitching occasionally from small sobs. Soon they fell asleep, holding each other, blissfully unaware that the bedroom door was ajar, and that they were being observed.
Harry watched them from the doorway. He had come up to apologise to Hermione for being short with her. He had wanted to let her explain, maybe even forgive her. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. If he was in pain when Hermione broke up with him, he was in absolute misery now. He felt as though he had swallowed something very sharp and rancid, only to have it yanked back up his throat, dragging his heart along with it. His body shook violently. He barely noticed the tears falling across his cheeks, but he was quite aware of the rage that was growing in his stomach. Unable to watch anymore, he slammed the door shut and stormed away. He paused at the top of the stairs to catch his breath. At some point his knees gave out and he sat heavily. His mind was spinning. If this is what they want, he thought, I can't change it, but they'd better not think for a second that I'm just going to just accept it.
* * *
A loud noise shook Ginny from sleep. She sat bolt upright and looked around, confused. Had the door slammed, or was it her imagination? She opened the door and peered outside. Harry was sitting on the top step, facing away from her. His face was in his hands. He was breathing shakily. As if he sensed Ginny's presence, Harry turned around and glared at her. She avoided his eyes and shut the door again. Behind her, she heard a sigh. Hermione was stirring.
"What...Ginny, what was that?" she asked in a sleepy daze.
Ginny turned to face her, "Hermione, he knows."
A/N: thank you for reading this. Stay tuned for the third part, "turn". I would like to know how you think I should progress (I already have ideas, but your input always helps). And feel free to tell me anything you didn't like (or that you did) about the first two. This is only my second fic, criticism is always appreciated.
~Divy